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nekonamida posted 5/5/2021 17:13 PM

Then why lay out her seeing her IC as a non-negotiable? Theoretically, if you're not looking to R with her, you don't have any leverage to hold her to that. And even she knows that if time has passed and she has not reached out and scheduled an appointment in response to your demand.

If R is still off the table, let go of her healing. It's no longer your responsibility nor have you had much success in trying to get her to do it without putting the marriage on the line. Even then, progress has been questionable. She'll seek it out if she wants to and her wanting it will net far better results than her doing it to appease you.

Thumos posted 5/6/2021 13:06 PM

Nekonamida, this is very good perspective and advice. Thank you. I particularly like the advice of laying aside a sense of responsibility for her healing. I have had that and it's what led me to agree to go to Retrouvaille, to forestall divorce when the lockdowns began, and to want her to see through the RCIA process.

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