Newest Member: username3016

Divorce/Separation :
and just like that...

Topic is Sleeping.
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SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 2:22 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

   Moving to Divorce/Separation

posts: 10000   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 8571249
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Chili ( Member #35503) posted at 2:28 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

The great surprise to me is how many of those things there are

Right? There certainly weren't just one or two *things* with assclown, but one or two at a time were usually enough to give me a little moment of relief...or a snicker if I was feeling snarky.

And maybe love isn't exactly blind, but more those things we were willing to accept were outweighed by the connection we thought we had and what they did have to offer. Once that gets smashed though - I say all bets are off. Go on and air that funky laundry.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Loving flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2136   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8571251
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

And maybe love isn't exactly blind, but more those things we were willing to accept were outweighed by the connection we thought we had and what they did have to offer.

It's amazing what we'll accept under the guise of "no relationship is perfect". "The good outweighs the bad".

Yes the good did outweigh the bad until it didn't. Until I found out exactly what the bad was.

It's hard to work on a relationship when you're being manipulated and you have no idea of what you're really up against.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8571263
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Tallgirl ( Member #64088) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

I read your story, I am so so sorry this happened.

You are amazingly strong.

Good for you - not reading the letter was awesome and powerful.

Big hugs

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8571279
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 8:08 AM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

Thank you Tg, I'm not feeling very strong right now.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8571310
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Tallgirl ( Member #64088) posted at 12:26 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020

Sweetie you are strong, you are just hurting. You are both, when the hurt lessens, more of your strength will show.

When I hurt I go to humour. I rewatched Tim Conway's elephant sketch recently. True hilarity. Have you seen it?

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8571354
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 trying to smile (original poster Member #9683) posted at 5:05 AM on Saturday, August 8th, 2020

Tg, no I haven't seen it but I'll look for it.

I've been messaging with his ex wife. OMG I dodged a bullet. The word sociopath comes to mind.

tts

Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".

posts: 8211   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2006   ·   location: The Land Down Under
id 8571706
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Chrysalis123 ( Guide #27148) posted at 2:07 PM on Saturday, August 8th, 2020

OMG I dodged a bullet. The word sociopath comes to mind.

Wow- Your self protection skills are working just fine. Look how fast you extricated yourself. Soon your heart will catch up with your mind.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8571762
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thebighurt ( Member #34722) posted at 5:12 AM on Sunday, August 9th, 2020

OMG I dodged a bullet. The word sociopath comes to mind.

Wow, tts! So glad you have come to this realization now. Will this help you to feel better about all of this?

My IC told me at a certain point, when I told her something xpos had done, something I had never told anyone else, that she was sure he had tried to kill me. It had crossed my mind that he may have, but I totally brushed it aside because "he would never!". It still took me a while to think it possible, but oh, yeah, he is at least a sociopath. Any last doubt I may have had about how good xpos leaving was for me was wiped away.

(((((((tts))))))

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4998   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8572045
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Westway ( Member #71747) posted at 7:26 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2020

So sorry this happened to you.

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8573423
Topic is Sleeping.
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