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Crash course on “Match”

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Tripletrouble posted 3/10/2020 00:13 AM

When I was on match I had a whimsical question at the end of my narrative. When men messaged me and didn’t answer or at least acknowledge the question, I knew they didn’t read the narrative so I was very unlikely to respond. It also gave them something to open with so it made things easier for both of us.

I literally signed up for Match the night I found out my D was final, less than two months after I filed and only seven months after D Day. I was still very raw. I was not looking for a meaningful relationship, just some casual dating. It did me some good. I will say that OLD comes with a lot of rejection and that can be hard on a heart already broken. It is also very common for people here to say their first breakup after divorce was incredibly painful. It was to me, after only a two month or so relationship. Do what feels right to you and just deactivate your account if you feel like you’re not ready.

solus sto posted 3/27/2020 15:05 PM

The truth is that women are the selectors and men are the pursuers. Sure there are exceptions the statement is based on fact.
This is far less true when women are not 10s or are past the age of 45 or so.

sewardak posted 3/27/2020 15:20 PM

men are the instigators of this "throw away" society then. It sickens me.

Alonelyagain posted 4/4/2020 16:09 PM

Sewardak, politely, I think that most BH’s would disagree with you regarding who are the instigators.

de.va.sta.ted posted 4/4/2020 21:49 PM


The truth is that women are the selectors and men are the pursuers. Sure there are exceptions the statement is based on fact.

This is not the "truth". Women pursue. This may not be your experience, but it happens, and it's not rare or exceptional. There is more variance WITHIN genders than there are BETWEEN genders.

I have not gone on OLD, but my friend is a pro. Her one tip to me was that there is a lot of curiosity regarding new profiles, so don't work on your profile, post it and forget about it.

I think I'd have a hard time posting pictures of myself online. I'm pretty private, and putting myself out there on the internet would be tough. However, if I ever decided to date, I have no idea where I would start, if not for OLD.

Good luck with dipping your toe in!

CaliforniaNative posted 4/8/2020 14:24 PM

The truth is that women are the selectors and men are the pursuers. Sure there are exceptions the statement is based on fact.

This is true if the woman is young and beautiful. Then there is plenty of demand from both young and old.

The man is the picker if he is tall and handsome. You think Liam hemsworth at 6’3 waits to be selected?

Now that being said women do get a lore messages...

With OLD, you have far more access to singles than ever before. But so does everyone else. Which means that there’s also far more COMPETITION.

Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women. For all the talk about “The End of Men” and how gender roles have been obliterated and women can write to men first, blahblahblah, here’s what ACTUALLY happened in a study of OLD.

– The women as a group received over 20 times more messages than the men.

– The two most attractive women received 83% of all messages.

– The two most attractive women probably would have received several thousand more if their inboxes hadn’t have reached maximum capacity.

– It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman’s inbox to fill up. At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his.

Not everyone can have the most beautiful/handsome.

Cheatee posted 4/17/2020 15:19 PM

Dude here.

I enjoyed match. I was very specific about who I was and what I was looking for. I got lots of interest, some from woman who were NOT a good match. I made my profile pretty distinctive - no bare chested photos, no golfing, no largemouth bass. I made a poem for my profile, outline my progressive politics, love of the outdoors, general career and other assets.

Be picky. And know what you want. Even more important, know what you DONT want.

Ironically, my partner, whom I met on match was actually someone I’d known years prior, so we re-met. As soon as we were starting to like each other, we ditched OLD and started our happily ever after.

It may be easier for women to get attention than men, but I venture it’s probably creepier too. Be very safe. Use Google voice to get a temporary phone number.

And have fun!

WhoTheBleep posted 4/17/2020 16:39 PM

no bare chested photos, no golfing, no largemouth bass

Cheatee, I automatically skip the profiles with those types of photos. Saves me a lot of time! It also only leaves me with about 4% of the male dating pool to choose from.

In fact, yesterday I got a message from a man who was bare-chested while playing golf on the golf course. I zoomed in on the photo because I was certain there was a fish hiding in the bushes somewhere...

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 4:41 PM, April 17th (Friday)]

hardtimesinlife posted 4/18/2020 09:29 AM

I zoomed in on the photo because I was certain there was a fish hiding in the bushes somewhere...

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