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Not Sure Where to Put This

movingforward13 posted 9/13/2019 18:38 PM

My xWH married his affair partner yesterday. I still havenít met her but that is neither here nor there. I would refuse to meet her after this point.
Our son started school last week and they pulled him out of school for three days for the wedding.

I am single - I have dated but no one is sticking. I feel worthless. Just felt like writing to avoid dark thoughts. This too will get better with time right?

Marz posted 9/13/2019 18:52 PM

Of course it gets better you just don't see it yet.

Under the circumstances if you can limit all contact it'll speed it up for you.

Cut any communication to text or email, no phone calls.
Keep everything separate. Holidays, birthdays, etc

If there's pickups/drop offs limit it to a 3 minute exercise with no engagement. Your son will adjust. Never enter his home or let your X into yours.

If you haven't done this you'll be surprised at how much it helps. I know 3 who use this method and they swear by it.

WhoTheBleep posted 9/13/2019 20:57 PM

I'm so sorry you are hurting. This sucks. ((Mf13)) (sounds like an SI gang.)

I am single - I have dated but no one is sticking. I feel worthless.

Okay, dating and feeling worthless do not go well together. Men will smell that a mile away. The wrong men. Okay even the right man will smell it.

Take a break from dating. That's not where your self worth comes from. Start doing things just for you. Build a life for yourself that you are proud of, without a man. Then you might be ready to add a man to your life.

Hang in there. Breathe. Spend time with friends. Exercise. Eat healthy. Don't drink. Absolute no contact with the ex unless of pertains to your son. He does not exist in your world except as a sperm donor. Tell yourself he's a walking testicle, and that's it. Not even human. Invisible. It helps.

Thelastknight posted 9/19/2019 23:17 PM

It gets better and easier. You will be indifferent to most of this. Stay focused on yourself.

The1stWife posted 9/27/2019 05:28 AM

You should be happy they married. He is now someone elseís problem.

Statistics show a very low success rate for a marriage that started as an affair. One of them will soon have insecurities about being able to trust the other spouse. It will affect them forever. There will never be full trust.

Thatís called karma. Just sit back and wait.

Now your XH May never admit the marriage was a mistake if that turns out to be the case. He has to save face but donít think behind closed doors itís all rainbows and love and happiness.

Another suggestion is to stop measuring your self worth by having a man in your life. You need to find your own happiness first and bring that person (secure, confident, strong, happy) to the table. You should be good Ruth or without a relationship in your life.

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