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Who lives alone?

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DevastatedDee posted 8/14/2019 10:17 AM

I LOVE it. I love it so much. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love it. I have dogs and a cat, so I'm not lonely. I have my daughter here, so I'm not totally alone, but teen girls don't always want to be right there with you so I spend plenty of time alone. It's absolutely awesome. I'm not sure I ever want to not live alone again. The freedom in it is huge. Everything is my decision, which is good and bad, lol. Everything is my responsibility, again good and bad. I feel so much safer being in charge.

CatsNTats posted 8/16/2019 01:37 AM

I've spent the entire week moving into my new place. Started staying here Monday night. The silence is really "loud", but after the Summer I had with the daily brow beatings, yelling, name calling and emotional abuse of him trying to get me to confess to an affair/man that don't exist, I am starting to welcome it.

Tbh, I'm terrified a bit because it's been 11 years since I have lived on my own, but now I don't have to answer to a paranoid drunk every time I leave/return home. I brought 2 of my cats, and they're slowly coming around to it. We all are.

wishingitwasnt posted 8/18/2019 16:42 PM

No man would ever watch Masterpiece with me!

Masterpiece watcher here, and I quite like Poldark.

I live alone, with four pets. Totally works for me.

WhoTheBleep posted 8/18/2019 16:52 PM

Masterpiece watcher here, and I quite like Poldark.

The storyline got a bit triggery, end of season 2, I think. (Just watched it a day or 2 ago) Well-handled in the script, and very well acted. I got through it. But the real-time betrayal...God...ouch.

T/J over.

wishingitwasnt posted 8/18/2019 17:38 PM

I got through it. But the real-time betrayal...God...ouch.

Granted. I am a few years out and can sort of let it go, because people suck.

I think I'll leave it at that. But, I still watch Masterpeice. Have for years, will for years.

Pass posted 8/18/2019 18:01 PM

Thought Iíd answer since most of the responses so far have been from introverts. I wouldnít want the extroverts to think living alone is bad. Iím quite shy, and have social anxiety, but am an extrovert - I start getting a little crazy if I donít get out around people regularly (made worse by the fact that I work out of my home office).

My kids are with me most weekends, and my gf and I sleep at each otherís houses five nights every two weeks (when neither of us has kids). I have three close friends who each come over one evening per month to cook together and drink. I text every day with my gf, my kids, my sister, brother, friends.

I have also completely immersed myself in my hobby of playing live music (solo, on stage). One night per week I go out to an open stage and play a couple songs in front of people. I usually get two or three gigs per year. I spend a lot of my alone time learning and practicing new songs and music theory.

Some nights, if I have nothing else on, but I really need to get out, I go to a food court at a mall to eat supper. I just sit there in the middle of the chaos reading a book on my phone. When Iím out shopping, running errands, or walking through my hood, I regularly end up in conversations with neighbours and strangers alike. Iím just one of those people folks talk to.

Before bed, I also read a lot, and keep some musical instruments on the other side of my bed (when my love isnít sleeping over, of course), so I can do more practice if the mood strikes.

So basically, Iíve thrown myself into my hobbies and relationships, without leaning too much on any one person. Iíve built my community, but can still end up totally happy on my own on those evenings that I have nothing on.

My gf and I are in early talks for moving in together, but itís still a ways off. Iím a little worried about how that will affect my carefully-crafted life.

However, weíve been together for almost five years, so:

1. We know and understand each otherís needs pretty well.

2. She is worth a little upheaval.

InnerLight posted 8/18/2019 20:55 PM

Me. I live alone. Sometimes it's fabulous. I also deal with a lot of loneliness. Sometimes I just would like someone else to handle things and that it was not all on me.

Too_Trusting posted 8/19/2019 09:52 AM

I live alone and like some others have said, I love it! I don't have an SO either, and I love that as well. I'm an older gal, and was married for most of my adult life. I VERY much enjoy doing whatever I want, when I want, without having to consider anyone else's opinion. I do have 2 dogs and a boatload of tropical fish, along with great friends. I really like my life just the way it is. Very uncomplicated, peaceful, and I have zero desire to change a thing.

Notriangle posted 8/19/2019 11:27 AM

Too_Trusting,
Thank you! That's the shot in the arm I needed today. I am older, have been married my whole adult life and I don't ever want another man in my life. I don't have a big circle of friends right now so I will have to work on that part. I am feeling very alone today and your story helps me see that this is okay.

hcsv posted 8/19/2019 13:40 PM

I'm sitting on the same bench with too_trusting and notriangle.

Together 40 years, never lived on my own. I have my oldest daughter with me temporarily as she is in a career transition, but I am loving coming and going as I please.

I am fine not being in a relationship. I have gone back to school after giving up my career to be a stay at home mom married to a workaholic. I felt abandoned both physically and emotionally.

Now, I have met many incredible people of all ages through school, I have incredible friends and I love nothing more than putting on my pajamas on a saturday night with a good book, movie or most likely a text book.

heartbroken_kk posted 8/19/2019 18:08 PM

I live alone in a tiny house on a knoll in the mountains. Mostly work from home (good internet). I have a dog and bird feeders. I have an hour commute into town and meet coworkers family and friends.

I am naturally introverted and solitude is my happy place so it works for me.

Sometimes I wish I had a helping hand around the property. But that can be hired.

Too_Trusting posted 8/19/2019 20:34 PM

Too_Trusting,
Thank you! That's the shot in the arm I needed today. I am older, have been married my whole adult life and I don't ever want another man in my life. I don't have a big circle of friends right now so I will have to work on that part. I am feeling very alone today and your story helps me see that this is okay.

Glad my post helped you, NoTriangle. It took some getting used to, so don't be too hard on yourself. And, I also have a small circle of friends; it's just that the ones I have are really, really good friends! I have been living single for about 18 years, and haven't had a date (my choice) since 2006. Once you find your rhythm and what brings you joy, you'll find your peace in the things YOU want. I'm not saying you shouldn't want or swear off relationships; you may want one someday. At this point, I just don't!

Notriangle posted 8/19/2019 20:37 PM

I think I could get used to living alone. I am a good cook though, and I tend to stick with really simple food when I am alone so that's a waste. I just need to get out and add a few friends. I am an introvert but too much alone makes me lonely.

Ripped62 posted 8/19/2019 22:59 PM

I I have found being my own person and going my own way immensely rewarding. In time I hope it is for you as well. It is a very rewarding lifestyle.

hopeandnohope posted 8/19/2019 23:45 PM

I live alone. It was so hard at first. I wanted my SO to move in but he had been single for most of 30 years and needed to be close to his business. 4.5 years later, I LOVE living alone, I'm always happy to see him but just as happy to see him leave Sunday evening. He wants to spend more time together now and I'm finally at a spot in life where I am happy being alone and very thankful he didn't move in while I was still so needy. I think that living alone helped build my independence and self esteem.

As painful being alone seems, it's important for you to heal and enjoy life again.

Notriangle posted 8/21/2019 20:10 PM

I just want to rely on me. Thanks for all of the positive vibes.

StillLivin posted 9/2/2019 22:58 PM

Once you start the healing process, living alone is great. You clean when you want, or dont want. You eat what you want. You have the entire bed to yourself, well unless you have a 95lb GS dog and 2 cats. Lol. Nobody, besides pets, to wake you up or keep you from sleeping because they're reading with all the lights on. I live it! Only my dishes in the sink. I could go on and on.
I suggest gutting all furniture, decor, etc. if it was in the home during the marriage and divorce. Make a fresh start and enjoy trying new decorating styles.

Notriangle posted 9/3/2019 16:31 PM

StillLivin,
I am going to have to move to a different house. I love our house but it is too expensive, too large, too much for me to maintain alone. The upside is that a new place will be a new beginning. I will definitely decorate to my own tastes. Looking forward to that part.

newlife03 posted 9/5/2019 17:40 PM

I went from living with my parents to living with xWH so the first time I lived alone was when we separated in 2007 after 18 years of marriage. Of course, him being gone all the time made the transition a little easier for me, and I always had my 3 kids. Now, two of them are adults and living their own lives and my youngest will be heading to college in 2 years so then I'll "really" be living alone" and I often wonder what it will be like.

My SO and I have been together for 8 years and he lives alone too so maybe we'll co-mingle someday, but I don't know if that'll happen. I've enjoyed my freedom over the years, maybe because I lived with a narcissist and was never enough. I'm enough for me now...that is, until my daughter leaves, then we'll see...

[This message edited by newlife03 at 5:41 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]

mccloud posted 9/5/2019 20:24 PM

I have always lived with a man my entire adult life. First my ex husband, who never cheated on me. It just didn't work out. We were married for over 25 years before we separated. Then my ex boyfriend. Who was never faithful to me. We were together for about 10 years. He was mean. And a liar. And cheated on me with many multiple woman. Some knew about me. And some he lied to and said that he was single. But the worse of all was the co-worker that he really chased down and flurted and then courted for most of our relationship. Now they live together on the weekends. He works out of town Monday through Friday. And I recently moved into my own apartment for the first time in my life. And I am Super duper happy!! I love doing whatever I want to do. And answering to no one. I am dating one nice guy. But, I just see him twice a week. And that is enough. Life is good now!

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