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Back on the bus...

WornDown posted 7/1/2019 12:42 PM

Woman I'd been seeing for the last few months, and who I really started getting the feels for, ended it last week.

Out of the blue - from "You need to meet my mom" to adios! in a week. She said it was all her - she's busy with school, work and kids and couldn't dedicate time to us. Wants to stay in touch and see where she is in a year...Pretty sure that's true (we've talked about time in the past), likely not someone else, but...

Ugh.

I'm really done with dating. Took a year off last year (2018), put some toes back in the water the first few months of this year, dove in March with her...and now I'm out of the pool looking for the next bus to hop on to to...

Vroom, vroom!

Chili posted 7/1/2019 17:37 PM

Yeah...you know...pools can be a great place to hang when it's this damn hot everywhere...BUT

...the scenery rarely changes and that there bus has some great riders on it and it can be a whole lotta fun. It also gives you a chance to hit that old *reset to factory settings* button thingy. Not a bad thing methinks.

(Sorry it was an out of the blue situation though. That's pretty sucky).

WornDown posted 7/1/2019 21:24 PM

That's exactly what I was thinking right before I met this one - hit the reset button (again).


So that's what I'll do.

[This message edited by WornDown at 7:56 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]

Shehawk posted 7/13/2019 09:35 AM

Hey worndown..


Wondered how you are doing?

The bus can be very unwanted. I know it is for me because I married for life and never saw the bus coming until it hit me.

Update?

cancuncrushed posted 7/13/2019 15:20 PM

Im on the bus...likely to be forever....

coming from where we all come from....bad relationships....I would be careful....even in a year....

Maybe its just me, but I would like a person to know if they want to be in a relationship with me...it sounds smart, and patient....maybe its ok to take a year off.... for me....its not enough...it feels a bit like rejection...certainly not what you move onto....

My X, couldn't decide of we should stay together...so.......nope.. I already tried that..

I.will.survive posted 7/14/2019 07:32 AM

Oh ouch. When it seems to come out of the blue, it seems to hurt more. Sorry about that. :(

Don't be done with dating though! I mean, give yourself some time. But surely you realize that you aren't settling down with the first person you "catch feelings" with after divorce nor will they likely be your forever person?

No, you know that. It just sucks to feel hurt. I get it.

Take some time. Ride the bus. Reset. Get back on that horse.

[This message edited by I.will.survive at 7:32 AM, July 14th (Sunday)]

WornDown posted 7/15/2019 11:24 AM

Wondered how you are doing?

Well...

It seems that the Universe has decided that it wants to play some games with me.

Backstory:
I put my toes back in to the dating pool back in Oct(?) last year by opening a couple of OLD accounts (free ones - wasn't ready to commit to paying). I met a woman at the end of Nov and we dated a few times, but two days before Valentines Day she told me that she had met someone else. Which was almost two years to the day a woman I had been dating for two YEARS did the same thing. Karma was being a bitch...

We stayed in touch through FB and talked a couple of times the last couple months. I really liked her as a person; hadn't really decided if it was going to work in a long term relationship, so I figured I added a friend, if not a lover. Oh, well - I still counted it as a good thing.

But, I decided I was done dating and was about to close my OLD accounts.

However...I connected with the woman in the OP (I did a bunch of swipe rights the night I got dumped...) and we hit it of nearly immediately. Three months in I started getting the feels. Then she dropped me.

Well...

Today:
Last week the woman I was seeing at the beginning of the year asked me if I wanted to have dinner and catch up.

We did and it was really nice to have reconnected and catch up.

We kissed and made tentative plans to see each other again.


I know...she dropped me once, can do it again...yada, yada, yada.

At this point, I like hanging out with her AND I know the risk. If nothing else, maybe this will be a nice summer fling. Maybe it'll bloom into something more. Maybe nothing happens. Who knows. I figure I'll take it one day at a time, and see where the universe takes me.

[This message edited by WornDown at 11:28 AM, July 15th (Monday)]

WornDown posted 7/15/2019 11:29 AM

Oh, and haven't heard from the one that dropped me two weeks ago. I'm half waiting for the Universe to drop that one on me.

WhoTheBleep posted 7/15/2019 11:58 AM

If nothing else, maybe this will be a nice summer fling. Maybe it'll bloom into something more. Maybe nothing happens. Who knows. I figure I'll take it one day at a time, and see where the universe takes me.

Excellent plan, worndown. That's the best thing about New beginnings; the possibilities!!

Shehawk posted 7/15/2019 21:59 PM

Pardon my scepticism, but I am planning to see how people are showing up aligns with what I want and I am gonna be careful to not stand next to the fire if it burnt me once. But hope this recycling of a relationship turns out well for you.

I have been watching few relationship educational vids. Kind of like summer school but for relationships. I figured I got an F in relationships so might just as well retake the course.

I mean anything would be an improvement, right? But I digress.

Anyway, this guy in the video made a few good points that I plan to put into practice planning my exit off the bus.

I am not saying any of this applies, but he suggests not playing games and not dating people who play games. In other words be genuine and tell people where you stand. I think to myself.."Well I could do that." And I could sure enjoy being with a man who could that. (You know, TELL THE TRUTH.) In other words not cheat, ghost, knows what he wants.

The video guy also said to date people who have the same values. Yep. That would be refreshing too. Especially if the values matched,oh I don't know, ACTIONS.

Anyway hope dating life is good to all of you and especially to you, Worn Down. For now until missing husband agrees to a settlement/divorce terms I will be on the bus watching movies.

LilBlackCat posted 7/16/2019 11:38 AM

Oh, and haven't heard from the one that dropped me two weeks ago. I'm half waiting for the Universe to drop that one on me.
Hey, at least you have a prospect out there to which you can keep in the back of your mind..

I'm likely never getting off the bus again.. I have not had any real prospects since 2016... Makes me wonder if back then, it was just a fluke.

WornDown posted 7/16/2019 11:58 AM

I don't know...when I put my toe back in the water, it took me a few months to actually meet someone. And I'm not a terrible catch. It's just rough out there all around.

Before this one came back around, I was fully expecting to be on the bus for at least the next two years until my son graduates from HS.

WornDown posted 8/5/2019 10:56 AM

Update...

Well, don't give up my seat. After a few weeks we decided it would be best to just be friends. Oh well.

No plans to enter the dating pool anytime soon; no real desire to do the whole "meet new people" dating dance. I'm too busy.

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