Lurkingsoul12 ( member #82382) posted at 9:31 PM on Friday, May 19th, 2023
Devon99uk: thanks for the response. I agree with your reasoning.
Since historically and universally, looks, profession and wealth are used to measure the worth and value of a person, many BS would find it very difficult to understand the true meaning and depth of this 'affair down' concept.
Edie (original poster member #26133) posted at 10:21 AM on Monday, May 22nd, 2023
Is affair down for both the cheaters or is it down for one and up for others??
They affair down from their BS is the primary message of the OP but also in looking for admiration reflected back at them, it makes sense they choose a AP in such a surface way.
Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 1:01 PM on Tuesday, August 29th, 2023
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Nancy45 ( new member #83497) posted at 1:56 AM on Wednesday, August 30th, 2023
This helps my insecurity. I was in shock when I saw who my partner was cheating on me with. She was way below both his and my physical attractiveness. Still, when I'm feeling down, I wonder if im making that up to make myself feel better. Personally, it helped my ego a little bit to see that she wasn't better than me (Knowing me, if I hadnt seen her, I would've built it up in my head that she was so much better than me). However, I also feel insulted that he somehow chose to sleep with that when he could've just had me. What was wrong with me? Deep down,I know it's his issues but sometimes it's hard to convince myself. He told me the reason for the affair was because he was insecure. I actually think this is the one thing he told the truth about.I think he needed someone below me to boost his incredibly selfish and fragile ego. He also had erectile dysfunction and I get upset thinking about why he would want to have sex with her when he could be pleasing me anytime he was able to have sex. But I guess this all plays into his insecurity.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:41 AM on Wednesday, August 30th, 2023
Nancy45, it does feed into his insecurity. The AP in my situation outweighed me by 100 pounds.
This thread isn't followed. It's usually bumped for new members to read.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21