SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

How you doing Melanie, you ok...?

@onelittlevictory

After a few more days Of constant bickering between us, and knowing that we won't make any progress living in the same quarters at this time, I've decided to go stay at an empty house that belongs to my family nearby. I have thought about it for a few days, and not been able to stay gone the whole night yet, but I've made up my mind that tonight is the night.

I'm terrible right now. I don't want to throw away the person I love, but I am finally ready to remove myself from a dangerous and unhealthy home. I'm so co dependent that it scares the mess out of me to leave, but I don't want to live this way.

Thanks so much for asking. Its nice to be asked how i feel for a change.

Melanie

You're doing the right thing in getting away from him for a while. I don't think I've ever run into someone as manipulative as he is and I'm sure it's messing with your head. Take some time and get your head straight, meanwhile the group will be here.

Melanie

Did u stay away last night?

In true co dependent form, I tried to leave last night and needed up crying myself to SLEEP. Tonight, I can finally proudly say that I am alone in a big empty house. Away from my ws. It's hard, especially since it's new years eve. I told him I don't want to wake up and see his face and be angry. I can't think about him laying next to me as I fall asleep. I wake up with vivid nightmares, fielding insecurity, and resentments. It's not fair to him or to me. We can work on things during the day, but I'm spending my evenings and mornings alone. If i would have been strong the first time I felt there was an issue, maybe we could have avoided this now, but better late than never.

I am so grateful that there are others who will take the time to answer, comfort , and share with a perfect stranger.

Much love, melaniescarlett

Good job Melanie. I wish you strength going into the new year.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 8:15 AM, January 2nd (Tuesday)]

Hi Melanie, I didn't get a chance to respond right away, but I was glad you posted. I was actually a bit worried that he was preventing you from posting somehow.

I think having some time apart will help you to clear your head. I hope you're not accepting blame for his affair. Please continue to keep us updated. Hope you're doing well.

Hope things are better.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 10:39 AM, January 5th (Friday)]

How’s it going. I sent a PM.

Hi Melanie!

I wanted to stop by and see how you are doing.

There is no reason why someone would have an affair in response to an unhappy marriage. They have affairs for other reasons that have little to do with their spouse. This means they would cheat no matter who they are married to. Cheating is a character flaw. It’s a defect inside the cheater. This is why you can, also, experience a terrible marriage, but you don’t cheat to make yourself feel better.