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Non-reconciliation

Medusara posted 11/21/2020 08:50 AM

Does anyone have any suggestions for books to support healing after betrayal, that donít talk about reconciliation? Please :)
My wife has been having an affair and is now continuing to see the other woman with my knowledge. She does not want to reconcile. So I want something that will help me deal with this, but everything Iím finding so far talks about working towards reconciliation, which is just going to shove further daggers in my already shattered heart.

TX1995 posted 11/22/2020 11:19 AM

Try Living and Loving After Betrayal by Steven Stosny. It goes step by step with exercise on how to heal, deal with mental images, etc. Only at the end does it ask some question on whether or not you want to reconcile and how to start that. You can skip that chapter.

He has a few podcasts and webinars out there too. His goal is to heal the individual of the trauma of betrayal.

The1stWife posted 11/22/2020 19:53 PM

Try Leave a Cheater Gain a Life

gmc94 posted 11/24/2020 13:17 PM

It's not SPECIFIC to infidelity, but I really liked "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson (and it does have some case histories of those whose WS left for an AP)

DanielJK posted 11/25/2020 07:59 AM

I'm looking for similar books (still not sure if I will divorce or not).

One book that caught my eye that I have not read is "Whole Again" By Jackson MacKenzie.

I have not read it, but am thinking about adding it to my reading list. I'd be curious to see if anyone else here has read it.

I just finished "cheating in a nutshell." Oh boy, prospects of remaining in a happy marriage after infidelity are not good anyway.

My next book is "Finding meaning in the second half of life." Then maybe Whole Again.

gmc94 posted 11/25/2020 14:04 PM

Cheating in a nutshell may also be helpful. It is NOT hopeful for those who want to R, but I found it very validating and made good connections between infidelity and trauma / trauma response.

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