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gf cheated with pedo

jakefromstatefar posted 2/19/2020 00:50 AM

I need some advise... I recently found out my girlfriend of 5 years was cheating on me. I found out because I woke up one morning with a weird feeling so I checked her phone when she was asleep.
I found two female coworkers numbers etc Rachel and Cecile... turns out they were men.. the first guy was out of the area and they never met or really flirted.
The second guy letís call him A, I found out they started talking sexually over SMS about BDSM sex and stuff and told her to call him daddy and he will show her what he will do... and talked about a video and etc.
for about two weeks. Then I guess she caught on and reminded him she just wanted to be friends... that she felt pushed into it. (She told me that) they talked for about a period of 3 MO from OCT to DEC (3 months) One morning dec 11th She told me to drop her off at work and not to pick her up because sheís going to hang out with a female coworker..
and her name is mkalya. Welp that day I found out about her and him and the other numbers because I felt like something was off... she tried to tell me for two weeks. That it was her she hung out with (MKAY) I was crying and she reinsured me that she exists... and is not a guy I take her word kinda for it and let it go... I kinda feel like somethingís still off at this point..
about two weeks from this we are driving home on Christmas and I see her phone go off while driving I instantly recognized the phone number by the last 4 digits of it belonging to Rachel but it was not a contact anymore I instantly got paranoid and blew up on her she explained to me that he was a friend and sheís grossed out and wants to block him.... she found out that he did something like with children or something. Next day sheís at work I did a reverse number search on the number to find out itís a man and all his info. found out heís into anime,overwatch,magma and instantly set off red flags with me. (My girlfriend is into the same stuff)
I flipped out and got a smart idea to text him and act like her. (Social engineering) at first he thought i was someone else and instantly started asking if I want to fight or if we had sex. And that we talked about a video... I basically told him off in a way my gf would and he apologized and said he needed to know if it was really my girlfriend and said something like I know we got close at first then we should have but I have been nothing but respectful and blah blah some other shit. So I got confirmation that it at least did not lead to a physical affair... mainly emotional..
My girlfriend broke down and started crying when I mentioned him and I found out and she said she didnít know how to tell me. That I was going to overreact and everything happened because she felt like she could not talk to me and sheís been depressed and emotional and let her emotions get the best of her I guess and felt unloved. Sheís always been a super emotional person who needs reinsurance all the time And coddled I just donít enjoy she lied to me about everything and even though the storyís add up I feel like if he was never a convicted pedophile she would of let something happen that night..
I ended up giving her another chance also due to the fact I kinda lost myself the last 3 months I got depressed about school and got ripped off basically. and started selling weed and stopped looking for
entry level jobs and was also doing pills.. so I was not really the best to be around but I still wish she would of told me about losing myself.. At this point Iím just straight up worried about her lying to me again and Iím super paranoid about it.
I want a future with her and I pulled my head out of my ass with the drugs. I just want everyoneís opinion and outlook on this.
She also did Get quite personal about stuff like taking shit about me to him about my facial hair.. which I kinda donít understand she says she has body dysmorphia but I donít understand why attack me about something I canít control... she says she still wants to be together and wants to earn my trust back. Sorry for the long post I will update and correct and respond to comments and questions.

The1stWife posted 2/19/2020 06:09 AM

I donít know how old you are but I suggest that you both get professional counseling.

Drugs and pills are never the answer and Iím glad you see that.

She has some emotional issues that need some addressing. If not she may emotionally connect to another guy in the future.

Best of luck to you!

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:10 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)]

Dismayed2012 posted 2/19/2020 09:46 AM

Dump her jakefromstatefar. You have no children and no ties to her. Make sure to separate anything you have together and then bail out. If you continue down the road with this person you're in for a lifetime of hell. Save your future and your life; do it now while you can. You're worth it. I wish the best for you.

Happenedtome2 posted 2/19/2020 10:20 AM

I am sorry to see you here. Please see my original thread when I started posting here. I found out my W was in and EA with a guy who was basically a borderline pedo and into a lot of fetishes. He had her eating out of his hand basically and if they had been within any reasonable proximity of each other it would have become physical had I not found out and blew it up.
The key here is that you are NOT married. Other than your relationship you have nothing keeping you there and as others will tell you, the only thing keeping you there is YOU. It becomes a matter of how much of her crap you're going to be willing to deal with.
More importantly, get yourself some help. you need to get yourself straightened out before you can worry about what this jerk did behind your back.

tushnurse posted 2/19/2020 10:53 AM

RUN!!! Run far and fast.
You are in a very broken relationship. You are not married and do not have children, you also are both very unhealthy mentally - You have a lot of growing up to do.
When life shits on you the first option is not to cause more problems by doing drugs. I urge you to reach out for some real help to a therapist, and your parents to help you break out of unhealthy patterns of behavior and find out who you are, and what you are capable of as an adult.

WalkingHome posted 2/19/2020 11:31 AM

Dating is a test for marriage.


When someone fails the dating test...you eject them from your life.


Never marry into adultery.

Fbtjax posted 2/19/2020 12:13 PM

She's a girlfriend and not a wife?

Dump her and move on.

Westway posted 2/19/2020 13:45 PM

Dump her and ghost her hard.

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