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Dating and old traumas

Aquiestoy posted 8/23/2019 09:45 AM

Got my feet wet dating and met some interesting guys, I noticed I gravitate towards guys with kids. Anyhoo...Iíve met someone and Iím smitten with him. We really close really quick. Heís not a bs but he is also on the last leg of his divorce like me. Heís got a son around my sonís age, very family oriented friendly and we get along very well. Iíve looked for red flags but besides the normal guy stuff lol heís cool. Heís 7 years younger and Iíve got over that trauma haha but he went from being and over texted to some text daily in the last two days...is this normal? Weíve been seeing each other for 3 weeks and itís been non stop texting and going on dates when we both were able to and kid free. We knew we were going to have a harder time seeing each other once things settled and school started and I get that. Just wondering if I should be concerned

WornDown posted 8/23/2019 09:58 AM

Should I be worried?

At this point, probably not. It's normal to drop off a bit after the initial rush. That said, if things drop off completely, it's worth having a talk about his, and your, communication styles/expectations - just to make sure there's still interest.

Iíve looked for red flags but besides the normal guy stuff lol heís cool

Normal guy stuff? What? Scratches his butt/junk? Farts?

Just kidding...

Aquiestoy posted 8/23/2019 12:21 PM

Lol worn down: fart humor hates veggies itís a sports fanatic . Nothing too bad lol

traicionada posted 8/24/2019 01:21 AM

I get that. Just wondering if I should be concerned
Whatís going on that pretty head of yours?

Emotionalhell posted 8/25/2019 07:55 AM

My counselor told me that a man that moves quickly in a relationship is a red flag.

Cooley2here posted 8/25/2019 09:20 AM

When you meet his family is when the real person shows up, good or bad. I wish all of us had had the good sense to simply watch the way our new loves were around their families. Thatís when you get to see red flags, if any.
If he slowly backs away let him. You will find the right person if you stay true to yourself.

ChoosingHope posted 9/12/2019 23:59 PM

Three weeks isn't very long. It's not a relationship yet. You're just getting to know each other and seeing if you might be a fit. Just relax and enjoy the whole dating process. If he slows down or ghosts himself away, it has nothing to do with you.

I firmly believe that any man who wants to be with you will let you know that all the time. So please don't get too attached at three weeks - though I know this is easier said than done! Many other fish out there if this one doesn't work out.

And better to know at three weeks than three months or three years!

EvenKeel posted 9/13/2019 07:42 AM

This is such a fun stage of getting to know someone. Lots of excitement, etc.

It is usually around the six month part that folks begin letting down their hair a bit so you can see the person's flaws (and see if it is something that works for you, etc).

At three weeks, I am concerned you might be over-vested in this new relationship. I know it is hard not too be but try to step back a little and wait. Wait to see what he does. Wait to see if his words match his actions, etc. He might be dealing with something you are not aware of. He might just be busy. He might be taking a breather. It could be 101 things or nothing at all. I dated a guy and after a few months I found out he suffered from depression. He would just go dark for a period of time and then resurface as his old self. You never know what someone is dealing with.

I say - if you like him and want to continue to see how it goes. Just observe for a little and see what happens.

I don't think I would be having that "what is going on conversation" at this point.

Did you guys become exclusive already? Or are you both open to multi-dating?

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