Return to Forum List

Return to Off Topic

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Off Topic

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

23and me help

ArkLaMiss posted 8/9/2019 20:31 PM

So I did the DNA test and I'm not my father's child. On the DNA relatives, all seem to be related to my mother's side of the family. So, I'm stumped. Anyone have any insight?

thebighurt posted 8/9/2019 21:50 PM

Based on what you have said here, I'm not sure how you arrived at that. If you recognize all the DNA relatives, maybe only your mothers family have also submitted DNA? If you are truly not your father's child, wouldn't people you don't recognize show up as close relatives identified as maybe first, second cousins, etc.?

I'm sorry if that proves to be the result you find. That has been the way quite a few such secrets have come out. Never easy, I know, because it happened to two close to me. Shocking to realize. Sadly, some such stories even show up on the news as the result of crimes as one did just this week.

Lionne posted 8/10/2019 07:04 AM

Right. If you submitted only your spit, you won't get your father's information. You don't have a Y chromosome which is where that information is stored.
23 and me recommends you get a close male family member, one related to your father, to submit his.

Candyman66 posted 8/10/2019 07:59 AM

^^^^ This. My sister went so far as paying for my test so my family would have Dads info on record.

Gottagetthrough posted 8/10/2019 08:05 AM

I never knew that about the Y chromosome, I havenít done 23 and me but other family has. Thatís interesting .

I agree with PP who said thereís a possibility that your dad just doesnít have relatives who have done the test. I hope you find answers to your questions.

Lionne posted 8/10/2019 08:11 AM

We had my brother take the test. My sister and I would have only given us my mother's info.

Even if members of her paternal family have signed up with 23, she'll still not see that until she gets results from a male from his side of the family.

ArkLaMiss posted 8/10/2019 20:52 PM

The problem is I'm one of 9 kids. My brother that was my full brother died at 27. He does have 3 sons and I suppose I could ask one to do the test? I just don't want to tell them why!

Lionne posted 8/10/2019 21:24 PM

Can't you explain the y chromosome thing and tell them you are curious about your ancestry? Remember you'd be getting the whole DNA profile, from their mother, too. You'd have to tease out what is pertinent to you.
And, unless I'm mistaken, you WON'T be able to confirm your own paternity this way. I have only a rudimentary understanding of this science.

Marie2792 posted 8/11/2019 08:43 AM

Iím curious why you guys say it had to be a male family member to show relation to her father? My cousins daughter showed up as a second cousin match on my DNA and we are both female. Her grandmother is my aunt, her mother is my cousin. My father is the grandmothers brother. Only male DNA here is my dad and he wasnít tested before us. Sheís always been a match to me before I sent Dad the kit for fatherís day.

[This message edited by Marie2792 at 8:45 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]

Lionne posted 8/11/2019 09:31 AM

Here's what it says on the website. It's confusing. Maybe a smarter person than I can interpret it.

I am female, will I receive paternal information Yes, features such as the Ancestry Composition report and the DNA Relatives feature will include your recent paternal ancestry. However, unless a parent is genotyped, we will not be able to differentiate the maternal and paternal contributions to your recent ancestry. Keep in mind that women will not receive a Y-chromosome (paternal) haplogroup since it is determined by the Y chromosome, which women do not inherit. If your father or brother is genotyped, you will be able to connect his paternal haplogroup assignment to your Paternal Haplogroup report.

I am female, where can I find my paternal haplogroup?
Women will not directly receive a Y-chromosome (paternal) haplogroup assignment in the Paternal Haplogroup report, since it is determined by the Y chromosome which women do not have. If your father or brother is genotyped, you will be able to connect his paternal haplogroup assignment to your Paternal Haplogroup report.

I am female, can I use my son's haplogroup to find out about my father?
Your son inherited his Y chromosome from his father, not from your father, so his paternal haplogroup assignment won't provide any information about your paternal lineage or your father's haplogroup. However, if your brother used the 23andMe Personal Genetic Service, you would be able to connect his paternal assignment to your Paternal Haplogroup report.


From Ancestry website

thebighurt posted 8/13/2019 20:49 PM

I totally understand NONE of that! But I do know that when I did my Ancestry DNA test, my matches for relatives came from both parents' families because I recognized names from both sides.

What I was saying to ArkLaMiss is that if ALL names were from her mother's side, possibly no one on her father's side had taken the tests. Conversely, if there were names listed as first cousins, etc., that she did not know, it could indicate that she is right in thinking she is NOT her father's child.

That is what happened in two of the cases close to me I cited and they both learned that their "sperm donor" was, in fact, not the person they had always believed. Sucky way to find that out! One begged me not to tell the person they grew up calling Dad and the other is still trying to find who might actually have fathered them. They have at least a few names as 'close relatives' that no one knows from either side of what was believed to have been their family. Disturbing and maybe makes one sorry they went there.

Bobbi_sue posted 8/14/2019 04:35 AM

That is confusing, but one thing is for certain, you can't prove that your father is NOT your father just because no information is showing up to connect you to your father or his known relatives. It could be none of those people have submitted their DNA on the site.

Some members of my family have done Ancestry but not 23andMe so there would be no information to connect this if we used different services.

I think the only way to prove whether your father is your father is to actually have his DNA and yours tested for the paternity. These new websites can be strong indicators of relationships but they won't usually be enough to prove that somebody is your father or not your father. I think that if your father has his DNA on the site, and is actually your bio father, the link would likely show up, but based on what you shared, I don't think your father has his DNA on the website, so you can't conclude anything one way or the other.

Bobbi_sue posted 8/14/2019 04:49 AM

One begged me not to tell the person they grew up calling Dad and the other is still trying to find who might actually have fathered them. They have at least a few names as 'close relatives' that no one knows from either side of what was believed to have been their family.

TheBigHurt, without knowing all the details of these situations, the "close relatives" would not necessarily be the result of one's father not being the bio father.

For example, a person's brother could have a child or children the family does not know about, or an uncle. These offspring will sometimes show up as close relatives, but they are not necessarily your bio father's offspring or relatives. I do think that you can find strong indications through these websites but you would usually need for the father in question to have his information on the site as well. Then if there is no link to him, it would be a very strong indicator he is not the bio father.

My family discovered that we have a cousin who'd been given up for adoption years ago. But the DNA site was only part of the puzzle. While she shows up as a close relative, without other information we would have no way to determine whose daughter she was. Based on communicating with her, knowing her age and birthdate and some other details, we were most definitely able to discover who her bio mother was. It seems everyone in our family knows about this now except her two half sisters! Her bio mother is in denial and my cousin does not want to push this on her while she is alive since my Aunt is 89 and does not want to acknowledge this. I am guessing she will contact her sisters after her mother passes.

cannotforgive posted 9/16/2019 14:41 PM

Our daughter did the test and in the results all chromosomes were explained well, from my side and my husband's side.

The interesting thing was all matches were people from her dad's side, apart from one from my side. This is because where I come from the test is unavailable and this person most likely lives abroad.

So, no matches means that relatives have not taken the test.

PS. the test was accurate about where our ancestors came from.We are all glad she did it. Quite fascinating..

Return to Forum List

Return to Off Topic

© 2002-2019 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy