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Skan: what???????!!!!!!!!

SoulCrushed16 posted 7/3/2019 02:24 AM


I feel like someone just threw a HUGE BUCKET OF COLD WATER ON ME!! Iím in disbelief and sobbing. I donít cry. I havenít cried in a long while. ... but I cried for this WONDERFUL woman who has helped so many of us. This wonderful woman who was always straightforward but so gentle. Who never missed an opportunity to give words of kindness, to check in when she hadnít heard from you in awhile. I saw her thread dating all the way in April and started to read... and then no more updates. Thatís it??? Sheís just no more?? This woman, a stranger, who helped me in my time of need? Just simply gone? A broken heart? Too much to handle?

Damn... just fucking damn... a cheater wins again?? Really?

Odonna posted 7/3/2019 06:38 AM

I know. I am very glad her WH let us know, but SO upset that he put her life in turmoil again at the end. I know she had high blood pressure and I wonder if that was the issue.

I have thought of her so often these last weeks....

WhoTheBleep posted 7/3/2019 06:45 AM

I am very glad her WH let us know, but SO upset that he put her life in turmoil again at the end.

Yup. Such mixed emotions about this. Simmering rage with a clenched fist...

(((Skan))) Rest easy, now, dear lady.

childofcheater posted 7/3/2019 06:46 AM

This may sound weird but when he mentioned the day she passed I noticed it was her DDay date. And I couldn't get that out of my head. At first that made me mad, like "really universe?? You can't give Skan a break on that day of all days?" But then I thought more about it and now look at it this way. Most of us BS say we always wish that our WS could feel the pain that we feel on that day and in a little way in feel like Skan gave that back. She released that pain and now that's the date her WS will carry with him. It probably sounds stupid but that gave me a little comfort even though her presence is gone.

[This message edited by childofcheater at 6:49 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

Want2BHappyAgain posted 7/3/2019 07:36 AM

I know . I hadnít been on SI for a few days... and just decided to look at the ďOff TopicĒ Forum and saw where her H informed everyone about it .

It gives me comfort to know she is at peace now. But my DDay Antiversary is approaching... and even though we are happily in R... I am getting the headaches from my HBP. I know June 10 was weighing heavy on her mind for several days...if not weeks before it was there .

RIP Dear Skan...you will be missed...and you were deeply loved by your SI family.

Shehawk posted 7/3/2019 09:15 AM

No words


steadychevy posted 7/3/2019 09:31 AM

Yeah, she had the thread where she posted she was sitting in an AirB&B sipping wine and contemplating her marriage. Then there was the shit her boss was going through with his WW. Then a thread from her WH (where he wrote "former") informing us of her passing. Doesn't seem right or fair, at all. RIP, Skan. You are remembered.

Unhinged posted 7/3/2019 09:51 AM

I'm gonna miss Skan, too. She started a thread once, years ago, about feeling healed and happy, how that had little to do with her WH and everything to do with feeling so proud that she'd healed herself and found her own happiness. From there on out, I paid close attention to just about everything she wrote.

Hope2B posted 7/3/2019 12:16 PM

Then a thread from her WH (where he wrote "former") informing us of her passing.

In my opinion, there is no way in HELL or in HEAVEN where her WH could ever be considered "former" WH! How dare he!!!!????

Just re-read Skan's last post from her air BnB.

Dear sweet Skan, you are truly missed.

intheblinkofaney posted 7/3/2019 13:44 PM

My brain is reeling right now. I donít read a whole lot in the General forum and have been taking breaks ever now and then from SI.

I cried when I read of Skans passing in Off Topic and today I go read and just now see what she was going through in her post in April where she was at the AirBNB. And seeing she passed on her Dday also.

Itís all so Damn unfair ! She helped me so much on SI. Several messages exchanged.

I wished someone knew her IRL to send info of where we could sent flowers , but Iím sure that has passed.

Iím even sadder now reading her last posts. And pissed.

RIP Skan

SoulCrushed16 posted 7/3/2019 13:52 PM

Like most of you,
I went back and read a lot of Skanís threads (May she RIP)... I have this weird mind where I like to put a voice with what Iím reading (imagining what someone sounds like LOL)... Iíve always thought of Skanís voice as having these soft tones, but firm at the same time, putting you at ease. She was always matter of fact, that we CAN HEAL, that WE WILL. 🥺🥺🥺. But now that ďvoiceĒ gone. She shared so much of herself with us and I always ALWAYS looked forward to seeing her posts... just didnít realize that that would be her last thread... back wading in shit.

Reading her most recent thread had me reeling... and then the post from her husband informing us of what happened. I do pray that she is at peace now. I cannot say the same for him though (Iím sorry that is so fucked up to say). I know she had some health issues and lost so much, but she was always optimistic. She was one of the first people to welcome me to SI and stayed in my corner, called me out on my shit, throwing me a lifeline when I was drowning. But HE couldnít do the same for her? He couldnít just STOP????

Odonna posted 7/3/2019 17:27 PM

When I came here I lurked for years. Reading very few days and absorbing a LOT. Skan was a very active poster and I always liked her tag line about the boat and the anchor. It was evocative of the personality I began to recognize as hers.

Skanís WH: I do hope you are reading here. I hope you are seeing what a force for good in life your wife was. I know you are ashamed or you would not have told us, and just run away, so that is a good sign. Resolve to stay out of any future relationship until you have figured out your shit. And even when you think you are ready, vow in memory of your wife to tell the entire unvarnished truth to anyone with the remotest chance of falling in love with you.

Maybe make a donation to SI in her name too; that would be good.

[This message edited by Odonna at 6:02 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

mchercheur posted 7/4/2019 11:58 AM

RIP dear Skan.

Infidelity is most definitely a severe trauma and definitely adversely affects our health.

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