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How long since your first dday

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OrdinaryDude posted 5/21/2019 19:57 PM

Three decades.

layla1234 posted 5/21/2019 19:58 PM

July 18th, 2018. We were on a romantic vacation just the two of us, trying to work on our marriage. Well, I was trying. I found a secret message from her on FB messenger on his phone while he was in the shower. He just couldn't leave her alone.

sisoon posted 5/22/2019 13:46 PM

I atill remember a lot about d-day and what followed, but I've forgotten a lot, too.

steadychevy posted 5/22/2019 13:57 PM

First DDay was September 1, 2013. I remember everything very well up until about 5 minutes or so after finding out. I have a very good memory for details. I initially thought - I was right, I'm not crazy, I'm not paranoid, I'm not unreasonably jealous, I'm right, I'm right.

After that I only remember bits and pieces here and there over the next few months. Probably up to and past DDay4.

We're separated. Have been since September 23, 2017.

BrittanyNicole11 posted 5/22/2019 14:22 PM

Is it still considered Dday if they havenít admitted after being confronted?

annb posted 5/22/2019 14:40 PM

14 years, April, 2005.

I can remember every.single.detail. as if it were yesterday.

emergent8 posted 5/22/2019 15:01 PM

I'm a little over 2 years out from D-Day. There are parts I remember vividly and details that are blurred/forgotten.

Is it still considered Dday if they havenít admitted after being confronted?

I would say yes. D-Day your discovery. If he hasn't admitted yet, you will likely have multiple d-days in your future.

Phoenix1 posted 5/22/2019 17:11 PM

Is it still considered Dday if they havenít admitted after being confronted?

"Dday" is YOUR discovery day, regardless of whether or not the WS has admitted/confessed it.

If you look in The Healing Library in the upper left menu, you can click on "Abbreviations" and it gives the definitions for all the abbreviations used here. "Dday" is there.

fareast posted 5/22/2019 17:14 PM

Forty years, five months and eight days! But whose counting!

Jameson1977 posted 5/22/2019 19:20 PM

It will be four years in July 2015. Like others, I remember it clearly. The six months to one year were really ugly and there is a lot I dont remember.

We are in the best place we have since dday, but still have hard days.

BrittanyNicole11 posted 5/22/2019 19:32 PM

Thanks all! I am new to the forum so Iím learning all the lingo. Itís been 2 months exactly since I knew something for sure was going on but 3 months when I saw he said he was at a work meeting but his location on find my friends was at a restaurant (he turned off his location shortly after...) I said how was your dinner and he said ďit was a meetingĒ lol yep thatís when I knew something was up.

AbandonedGuy posted 5/22/2019 20:07 PM

Labor Day 2018. First and only and last DDay. She left shortly after. My career thanks her.

The1stWife posted 5/23/2019 03:29 AM

DDay1 is 6 years ago. DDay2 was 5 1/2 years ago.

I remember everything.

And then there was his first 4 year EA he denied. Dday1 was December 1994. I met the OW who pretended to be his friend. And mine. He didnít love her but refused to end the friendship.

And I only found out on DDay2 2013 that he admitted to the OW he had this ďfriendship that he knew was wrong but did it anywayĒ. He never admitted anything to me.

And I remember all of it. Every detail.

Veteran and survivor of a 4 year EA. Stonewalled. Gaslit. Rugswept. Then survived a year long EA/PA that occurred 15 years later. Being kicked to the curb 10 days after DDay 1. False reconciliation and then demand for a Divorce. Then DDay2.

I donít know how we managed to reconcile. I really donít.

HenryIIX posted 5/23/2019 08:22 AM

December 26th, 2014. I remember all the details, down to the smirk on the sweathog's face when she opened the door to let my WH out. The next few months is a blur...

We are in full reconciliation and doing well but strangely enough, I had a very detailed dream last night that I found out he was having a different affair.

So today I am revisiting shit in my head.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/23/2019 10:42 AM

My DDay for the EA was foggy but it was summer of 2009 I remember everything how he behaved in front of me our DD and all the family and friends... it was so disrespectful.
My DDay for the PA was in 2011 and throughly brutal because of all the TT it was like having multiple DDays and unfortunately I remember everything though I was a zombie for over a year. I have not completely recovered from it and have lost many brain cells.

fatheroftwo posted 5/23/2019 13:30 PM

I am almost six months from DDay. I remember it all very well, but my perspective is changing.

still2suspicious posted 5/23/2019 16:43 PM

Well, I have the dubious honor of one EVERY decade we've been together. That's FIVE! count 'em FIVE!

70's - we were just teenagers. Does that count?

80's - neighbor, but only looking back do I see it for what it was. Never really pressed it. Rug swept, I guess?

90's - getting ready for a party is clearly NOT the time to ask "what is wrong?" Remember most of that night, but very hazy for months after.

2000's - found out and confronted during MC. Typical WS reactions. (this is the one that brought me here) To this day I can't recall a lot of the aftermath, as he dug his heels in for the longest time. Instead of constant badgering, and trying to "fix" us, I should have just left his sorry ass. It would have saved ME a ton of heartache.

2019 - no Dday YET! I know it's been since 2017 but due to my now age, my financial situation is number ONE for me right now. How far it's gone? Who the hell knows? At the very least it's been another LTEA.

I am very close to being done so Dday #5 should happen in the next few months.

EAPTSD posted 5/24/2019 09:43 AM

2 1/2 years. I remember some things very clearly, others not so much. Once I stopped turning things over again and again it got easier to forget. Especially since things either make sense to me or I stopped caring.

DomesticTourist posted 5/24/2019 10:08 AM

My wife admitted her affair on May 18, 2018. I recall it all very clearly.

self-rescuer posted 5/24/2019 10:15 AM

D-day #1 - June 20, 2011

It was the same week my mom died so I chose to believe the lies ex spewed.

D-day #2 - September 15, 2011

I remember it too clearly. So clearly that I can still feel the sick thud of my heart and the panicked confusion.

But now the only real suffering is that I experienced brutal betrayal. There have been no triggers in years and my ex only holds significance in that he brought me the life changing suffering - as a human he is almost invisible.

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