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new marriage fails

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annb posted 5/14/2019 08:17 AM

Gently, you do not have marriage.

You married a cheater.

You don't have years of history together or children.

Run as fast as you can and never look back.

There is a faithful woman out there for you.

LivingWithPain posted 5/15/2019 15:29 PM

NeverSummer what nationality are you? Can you get an annulment rather than a divorce where you live? It costs less and is quicker.

As for the house, as long as you have not closed on it you can still back out, even though you would forfeit your earnest money.

[This message edited by LivingWithPain at 3:30 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]

Freeme posted 5/15/2019 17:35 PM

You start texting a guy she just met to meet her in Costa Rico and you've already quit the marriage. Her doing this two weeks into the marriage makes me question if you should have trusted her prior...she might have been cheating all along.

A. you werent there for me when i needed you and i was mad at you to B. it was PTSD from my surgery to C. It was depression. i was clinically depressed for years before i met you and never told you about how bad it was nor my suicide attempt with a gun ten years ago" .
Horrible excuses to make 2 weeks after saying your vows. This is the honeymoon period and she failed it. Couldn't stay faithful because you had a bad phone connection. You are looking at marriage of drama if you stay with this girl. It sounds like her moral comps is badly broken

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/17/2019 02:55 AM

Sooo sorry!!!!
But this is an easy one... 1) get an private investigator and have him scourge everything.
Get your finances in order and then file for D and cite infidelity because I am 💯 the PI will find plenty of stuff. And ask for half of the house she just sold.

Then LEAVE ASAP.
She’s not remorseful and you have no clue what she’s really been doing behind your back. Be glad you found out!

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/17/2019 02:56 AM

Sooo sorry!!!!
But this is an easy one... 1) get an private investigator and have him scourge everything.
Get your finances in order and then file for D and cite infidelity because I am 💯 the PI will find plenty of stuff. And ask for half of the house she just sold.

Then LEAVE ASAP.
She’s not remorseful and you have no clue what she’s really been doing behind your back. Be glad you found out!

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/17/2019 02:56 AM

Sooo sorry!!!!
But this is an easy one... 1) get an private investigator and have him scourge everything.
Get your finances in order and then file for D and cite infidelity because I am 💯 the PI will find plenty of stuff. And ask for half of the house she just sold.

Then LEAVE ASAP.
She’s not remorseful and you have no clue what she’s really been doing behind your back. Be glad you found out!

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/17/2019 02:56 AM

Sooo sorry!!!!
But this is an easy one... 1) get an private investigator and have him scourge everything.
Get your finances in order and then file for D and cite infidelity because I am 💯 the PI will find plenty of stuff. And ask for half of the house she just sold.

Then LEAVE ASAP.
She’s not remorseful and you have no clue what she’s really been doing behind your back. Be glad you found out!

Bigger posted 5/17/2019 08:10 AM

Not a quitter….
In your situation that’s like someone playing turkey and driving a car towards a cliffs edge, seeing if the other driver will step on the breaks first. Your last thoughts might be ones of victory, before crashing head-on into the gully. What sort of a victory would that be?

It’s your call but your counselor is correct: SHE needs to start with a lot of work on herself. Parts of that work will be to evaluate why she married you and if that’s what she really wanted. So, you get to invest 3-6 months into twice-weekly therapy sessions for her only to have something like a 40% chance of being dumped. Add that to the 20-30% chance that therapy won’t be successful anyways…

Plus, she needs to change her friends… And her social-pattern of partying without you…

That’s a lot of changes SHE needs to make, some of it costing a lot of money…

I agree with those suggesting you might be better of saying “farvel” (google translate Norwegian for goodbye).

Ponus18 posted 5/17/2019 08:25 AM

It sounds weird but you're lucky - to have found out so quickly. Most of us don't realize we married a cheater until we're in deep, years later, with kids, intertwined finances, etc.

There's no real choice here. File for D and never look back. There's no chance you'll come to regret it.

Neversummer posted 5/17/2019 08:29 AM

I can’t thank you all enough for your advice . I will be filing for D and selling the house and moving on . Thank you for your wisdom and insight

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