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Anger

Emotionalhell posted 5/2/2019 06:00 AM

May be TMI for some.. i have been Celibate for 4 years, still living with WS. We are a couple in every other sense. He has a lot of health issues. We enjoy each otherís company, work well together etc. The anger keeps boiling up inside me. Anger bc I miss the physical intimacy. Iím to dam young to live like this. He went off and was living it up while I was loyal and honest. I think I could deal with the celibacy better if he had not cheated. Sometimes I think of leaving just to find someone that I can have a full relationship with. I am also angry that he didnít continue therapy. I realize he spends a lot of time going to medical doctors but still....
can anyone relate? Do you still have anger inside you 3/4 years later due to lack of intamcy?

Wool94 posted 5/2/2019 06:03 AM

Yes and yes.

timespent posted 5/2/2019 08:28 AM

Yes, almost 3 years out and it's an issue. His reasons ARE selfish. Intimacy is more than just physical and it can be expressed in many ways. I've wondered how long I should wait as well. Withholding it makes me believe there is wayward behavior lurking subconsciously or in reality. I guess we have to decide what we can accept and for how long. With you on this crappy journey.

sisoon posted 5/2/2019 10:03 AM

What changed a year ago, after 3 years of false R?

He stopped therapy - has he changed? Has he used his medical problems as a barrier to change?

What's wrong with leaving? What's in this M for you?

I see anger as a signal that you want something in your life to be different. Some of those things are unfixable; some can be fixed if you take action.

Those are real questions.

[This message edited by sisoon at 10:05 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]

NotTheManIwas posted 5/2/2019 10:14 AM

can anyone relate? Do you still have anger inside you 3/4 years later due to lack of intamcy?

Yes, I can relate. And what you said about the anger boiling in light of the A completely resonates. An empathetic spouse can swallow the emptiness owing to celibacy when a spouse has ailments before Dday, but after?

You are heard and understood. Plenty of us out here.

cocoplus5nuts posted 5/2/2019 11:09 AM

What's wrong with leaving? What's in this M for you?

This ^^^^^^

You are under no obligation to stay because of his medical problems. He already broke your M vows.

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