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Opinions Please

Tigersrule77 posted 5/1/2019 07:42 AM

I've wanted to talk to someone about this issue and this seemed like a great place.

Miguel Cabrera is a professional baseball player, makes over $25M per year. He had a LTA with AP in Florida, resulted in two children. At some point, he decided to end A. He had been giving support to AP (substantial amount). Since the A ended, she has sued him for CS.

Recently, in the case, the judge decided he had to provide the illegitimate children the same things as his children with his wife. i.e. if he takes his kids on vacation to Atlantis resort in the Bahamas, he has to pay for AP to take other kids, etc.

He is being required to pay off her $1M mortgage on her house she bought (he paid down payment). He has to pay her $20K/month for specific kid expenses (private school, medical bills, etc.) and another $20K for whatever AP chooses. Also has to pay for kids to have annual passes to all resorts in FL.

My question is, is this legal? It sounds very arbitrary. What does the law in FL require? It seems ridiculous that because someone is wealthy, AP is entitled to some of that wealth.

At the same time, he could have avoided this situation by not cheating.

Anyone familiar with FL law in this type of situation? What do you all think about this?

lieshurt posted 5/1/2019 08:16 AM

AP is entitled to some of that wealth.

The AP isn't entitled to it, but the kids are. Given his annual salary, the judgment wasn't too bad.

Thissucks5678 posted 5/1/2019 09:35 AM

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. What a terrible situation for his wife.

Carissima posted 5/1/2019 12:39 PM

AP's an adult, made her own decisions, can make her own money. The children on the other hand, yes I agree, they should not be disadvantaged anymore than they already are by their parents bad decisions.

They are also victims in this mess and

will always be on the outside looking in unless their father had contact with them.

cocoplus5nuts posted 5/1/2019 12:59 PM

Yep, the money is not for the AP. It's for the children. Why should his illegitimate children not have all the comforts as the children from his M? None of the children chose their positions. When he dies, all of his children will be entitled to a fair share of his estate, unless his wife gets it all.

Tigersrule77 posted 5/1/2019 14:11 PM

What the judge is requiring benefits the AP greatly.

And for the most part, what you are describing is what is "fair". I would agree that if he is a good person, he would want to provide the same lifestyle and advantages for all of his children. However, I'm not sure that is what is required by law.

For example, I have three kids and I love them all. However, the law does not require me to love them, or to love them equally. The law does not require me to give them the same opportunities or benefits. If I choose, I can take one child to a movie and not take the other two. I could choose to buy a car for one child and not the others. The law does not state that i have to buy a car for all of them, because I chose to buy one for the first child.

As I am divorced, if i was to remarry and have more children, the law only says that I have to pay child support based on my income and my XWW's income. If I took my new child on vacation, I would not be required to take my other children or pay for them to take a vacation.

This judge's decision seems to be on what is "fair" rather than what the law requires.

cocoplus5nuts posted 5/1/2019 14:18 PM

This judge's decision seems to be on what is "fair" rather than what the law requires.

If that is the case, then the law needs to be changed. There was a time when the law didn't require any support for illegitimate children.

I don't understand what your issue is with this. Is it just the idea of having to give up so much of your money? Is it thinking this is unfair to the wife? She always has the option to D him and sue him for the rest of his money. Do you think he is being unfairly punished for having illegitimate children?

That's the risk you take when you screw around. It's not difficult to prevent. A grown man should know this.

Carissima posted 5/1/2019 18:28 PM

So you think the children should be treated differently? Almost like second class citizens? Like I said earlier they are entitled to the same benefits and lifestyle as their siblings. They did not ask to be born and should not be penalised for existing.

A grown man knows how not to have children, the obvious being not to have sex, but if he does have then it's just as much his responsibility to use protection as the woman's - especially if hrs cheating. There's more than one child so he obviously didn't learn his lesson or he meant to get her pregnant, and yes some men do that in LTAs. Anyway, now he has to face the reality until those kids are grown and rightly so!

Butforthegrace posted 5/1/2019 18:49 PM

Many states have separate rules for extremely high net worth individuals.

anoldlion posted 5/2/2019 02:32 AM

I know nothing about Florida law but the settlement sounds fair to me. Remember the old adage, "If you dance to the tune then you have to pay the piper". If he had kept it in his pants and not tried to have two families, then he wouldn't be in this situation. That second family, he thought he could leave and forget about, didn't leave as he wanted. Like many in infidelity with money or power, he thought the rules didn't apply to him because he was special. He just learned that the rules do apply to him, special or not. As far as the AP, after a LTA resulting in two children, she should be entitled to the same as the wife if he divorced her. If reality the AP was wife number two. No pity for him at all. I do wish you well.

[This message edited by anoldlion at 2:37 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]

allusions posted 5/2/2019 16:19 PM

Since he is very wealthy, his children should equally benefit from that. He has to provide for them as children of a multimillionaire which includes suitable housing which is why the mother gets a fancy house (and he did pay the downpayment so the expectation is that he would continue to provide for housing in that regard). What might be fair would be for him to provide a fancy house for her and kids to live in but not give it to her. After the kids are 18 she has to leave. But things tend to work out how they did in this situation. It's one reason why some women try to trap wealthy men by getting pregnant. She gets to ride the gravy train.

Carissima posted 5/2/2019 16:57 PM

I must admit I don't really believe the WH's wealth should have anything to do with it.

If he has a child outwith the marriage then it's his responsibility to ensure that child has the same standard of life as any children born within the marriage. If that means working overtime or getting a second job then so be it. They knew the dangers of having sex without taking the proper precautions.

BTW I feel the same way about MW who get pregnant by their AP. They should find ways to take on the extra expense of the additional child(ren) similar to the above. Of course that's assuming they're honest about the situation.

OwningItNow posted 5/2/2019 18:35 PM

My question is, is this legal? It sounds very arbitrary. What does the law in FL require? It seems ridiculous that because someone is wealthy, AP is entitled to some of that wealth.

At the same time, he could have avoided this situation by not cheating.

I could be wrong, but it seems that your kinship with a guy having to pay his ex (or AP) too much is stronger than your kinship with non-cheaters who like to see a cheater experience some consequences? In other words, why aren't you happy that this jerk is losing a little cash?

Just wondering because I'm not sure why this guy's situation bothers you.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 6:36 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)]

OwningItNow posted 5/2/2019 19:47 PM

I just wanted to add one more thing that bugs me about this player. Cheating is one terrible, broken choice, but what explains the lack of protection? TWICE? (And we all know they didn't have unprotected sex just twice.)

So yeah, it's hard for me to find any sympathy for this guy's finances. He damn well knew he was having a second kid with this chick.

Striver posted 5/2/2019 22:06 PM

I must admit I don't really believe the WH's wealth should have anything to do with it.
If he has a child outwith the marriage then it's his responsibility to ensure that child has the same standard of life as any children born within the marriage. If that means working overtime or getting a second job then so be it. They knew the dangers of having sex without taking the proper precautions.

BTW I feel the same way about MW who get pregnant by their AP. They should find ways to take on the extra expense of the additional child(ren) similar to the above. Of course that's assuming they're honest about the situation.

I suppose this is the reverse of cases where the WW gets knocked up and the law says the BH has to pay for the kid he did not father. Maybe if you divorce immediately, you can avoid that. Here divorce would change nothing.

What do the kids deserve? I don't know. There are a lot of poor kids. Why do some deserve more than others?

In either case the BS is taking it in the shorts. What if the WS doesn't earn millions? Just 100K or so? What if this takes away from the kids of the BW? Oops, honey, "we" have two more kids in "our" family. Looks like community college for "our" kids.

How is the AP not taking money from the BW? How is this not happening? BW can divorce, but the CS is going to be figured into all of this.

Striver posted 5/2/2019 23:19 PM

The thing is, if you divorce, remarry, and have further children, the second family is not guaranteed to have it as good as the first one. The kids from the first family are going to get what the law allows. The kids from the second family get what is left over. The law makes no effort to make things equal.

Whereas in this case, the law steps in and makes things equal. Just sayin'.

Carissima posted 5/3/2019 01:19 AM

Oh believe me I know it's idealistic and in real life almost unworkable but I do think it's what should be aimed for.

Unfortunately like most things in life there the most undeserved people are the real victims!

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