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DD out OW at her work

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firenze posted 4/29/2019 17:36 PM

Your daughter has my respect for doing that. Be proud of her, and remind your WH that the only person he should be angry at in all this is himself.

My own daughter is very young and does not yet know what her mother did, but the day will come when she does. I hope I raise her to have the same intolerance for lies and betrayal that yours does.

faithfulman posted 4/29/2019 17:50 PM

Sad1015:

WH is furious with darling daughter.

Good work for your Dear Daughter!

Tell your husband he better back the fuck off of her and that everything that happens is his fault and that whatever he and the AP get is exactly what they had coming, so he should have thought of that beforehand.

Did you out the other woman to her husband if she has one? Time for another mission for DD!

cptprkchp posted 4/29/2019 17:56 PM

Sad-

Good! Actions have consequences. My standard goto answer is "well, you should have thought about that before you got involved with a married person."

steadychevy posted 4/29/2019 21:02 PM

Wonderful daughter, Sad. I'm glad she's with you and okay. I hope what she did (which was grand, IMO) gave her a measure of satisfaction.

Great words, Chamomile.

Tallgirl posted 4/29/2019 22:36 PM

I love your DD! She is awesome, gutsy and perfectly expressive.

The AP I Hope has some shame.

Your XWH should recognize the guts and honesty of his DD. He could learn from her.

I am sorry she is so hurt. She is still a kid, mine are 23 and 20 and they struggle. I donít even know how to handle this stuff and I am 53. They need us to be strong for them. Not so easy.

I hope she can work through her pain. She needs to grieve.

Big hugs To you both.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 10:37 PM, April 29th (Monday)]

Marz posted 4/29/2019 23:00 PM

Dang!!!!!

It's not funny but it is.

Personally I thought it was great.

Ignore your WH. Let him and the OW pull up their big boy and big girl panties then deal with it.

Consequences are a good thing

sisoon posted 4/30/2019 10:21 AM

Kudos to your daughter, but ...

have you talked with her? It took courage and anger to out ow, and she probably had some extra adrenaline in her system. If so, she probably feels a let down. Support may be welcome.

Kids tend to be heavily influenced by their parents. You did good.

deephurt posted 4/30/2019 18:27 PM

Way to go DD

So your WH may not like it, but thanks to him, this is her story and she can and will do as she will and he cannot control her. Just as she couldn't control her father from destroying her family

^^^this

Your WH can suck it the hell up. Consequences are a bitch aren't they? As others have said, when someone cheats, they are not just cheating on the BS, there is fallout from everyone around them especially family.

Your WH destroyed your DD's family. She may be an adult but the family unit remains security for the kids. She is angry and she is taking action --good on her.

If your WH doesn't handle himself appropriately, he may destroy his relationship with his DD. His compassion should not be for AP or even himself, it should be for you and DD.

I was going to out AP as she met my husband for sex etc on company time and used company phone to chat while at work. He talked me out of it. He basically said, you don't screw with someones job-I guess its okay to screw with my life and M. I was furious with him. He seems to get it all now but I ended up not doing it because OBS was unemployed at the time and I felt bad for him. Ap acknowledged that she would lose her job. A part of me wished I had done it....I had pictures that were time stamped when she should have been working and phone records to show them. I still wish I had done it sometimes but its only because of OBS that I didn't.

Mene posted 4/30/2019 19:52 PM

Brilliant work by the DD. Well played.

hurthumiliated3 posted 4/30/2019 23:28 PM

I admire your daughter, and you for raising her, so much. I only wish that I had been that bold and willing to stand up at that age. I'm just now learning how to do that in my mid thirties.

hadji posted 4/30/2019 23:48 PM

I'd like to take parenting lessons from you on how to raise a tiger like that. Seriously, the moral fibre in this one is amazing.

Phoenix1 posted 4/30/2019 23:53 PM

Your DD handled it the way she felt it was necessary.

Your response to WH: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Seriously, don't bother discussing with WH. The fact that he is angry at her speaks volumes.

Offer to talk with DD about her feelings. Just be there to support her. Your WH's relationship with DD is entirely up to him. Don't try to smooth it over or get involved. HE needs to repair it, if at all. What he doesn't realize is that he may have irreparably damaged it. Out of your control though. Sad, but part of the consequences.

My DDs have no relationship with their father. They want nothing to do with him, and he doesn't seem to care. His loss. My relationship with them has never been stronger.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/1/2019 08:27 AM

You have a wonderful DD... be proud of her and tell her the way sheís feeling is normal.
Tell you WH that if he kept his dick in his pants this never wouldíve happened.
Tell him it must be hard to get a life lesson from a 24 year old especially his DD...
and then tell him to Fuck off. 🥰

Northerngal posted 5/1/2019 08:38 AM

Wh learned very quickly that once the truth came out, that he was no longer controlling the story. Because so many people were affected, it became a story to each person. Our kids did what kids do - text their friends. Who tell their parents. Employees blab. Itís not their own little precious story anymore.

The only person who was livid about the disclosure not being kept secret was my mil who has committed herself to a life of image control. If it benefits her, true or false, itís sonething enlightening, elevated, must be shared as a way to show others that her life can be a guidepost to others who aspire to live like her. If itís a negative truth, well thatís because Iím bitter and airing dirty laundry. Hard stop. Sheís a therapist so she has a lot invested in people believing they need her guidance.

If you donít want people discussing you negatively, then you should probably just fucking behave. Or if you are just being your best self, then own it and be proud. Iím 50 and I have yet to fend off infidelity or other rumors about me. Guess why?

PeaceLily210 posted 5/1/2019 09:29 AM

So your WH may not like it, but thanks to him, this is her story and she can and will do as she will and he cannot control her. Just as she couldn't control her father from destroying her family

Because so many people were affected, it became a story to each person. Our kids did what kids do - text their friends. Who tell their parents. Employees blab. Itís not their own little precious story anymore.

THESE^^^
This story breaks my heart because I can feel her pain and anger in the description of her actions. Poor girl. I remember seeing my mother crying on the floor after my father left her for his 18yr old OW. My mom had invited this poor thing into our home to help her out of a bad home life. She and my father decided to repay my mother's generosity by running off together and leaving Mom hanging with 3 children and a mortgage. I was only 10 but I remember the confusion, hurt, and fear like it was yesterday. Dad went on to have and raise 3 more children with OW. For most of my life I swallowed all of my feelings toward my father and OW because I loved my siblings. But a few years ago I realized that it was okay to voice my story to them. While they love their mother and the version of our father that they had, my story and my experiences are still valid.
Your DD has every right to voice her story, her pain, & her anger.

I hope you are able to talk to her and that she is okay. She must feel exhilarated, but the pain and anger will still be there. Hugs to you all.

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