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How to politely deal with people who drive you nuts?

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DragnHeart posted 2/20/2019 09:43 AM

(vent)

There's just no way to politely tell someone to fuck off.

Maybe I'm just getting more grumpy in my old age but my ability to deal with people is slowly deteriorating.

For example:

We have had people come by to give us their opinion on the horses. One man who said we weren't feeding them because he didn't see any hay (at the time the hay was behind the house in the back where the shelter is). Yesterday we were approached by a woman saying that the hay needs to be in a bale feeder or they will just bed it...Seven 900lb bales were put in up front because our neighbours 4x4 tractor couldn't get up the side driveway to put the bales in the back.

Other people have stopped to take pictures of the horses or try to get up to the fence. Luckily there's a large ditch between the road and the fence. When I have come out of the house the people jump in their vehicles and take off. The owners of the horses have said that at their old farm people would walk right into the pasture to go feed the horses. What is wrong with people...?!?

So along with replacing our no trespassing/no hunting signs that disappeared, I'll be putting up No feeding the animals signs too.

As a reptile person I know there's a variety of ways of keeping reptiles and no one way is best but the fights I have seen happen over basic care has been many. Now I'm learning that the same applies to all animals.

I can accept questions and constructive criticism but I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate demands or accusations. Our neighbor has said he's had the same problem at his farm with people trespassing.

Yesterday I was on the phone with the customer service for the cell phones. The new plan I got for us was screwed up, data was changed from 10GB to 500MB...WTF!!! Ok so there's been a screw up. No big deal let's fix it. Nope. This person didn't understand what I was saying. Her only response over and over to me was "it's ok" and "is there anything else I can help you with?". ...Ugh!!! She hadn't fixed the problem what else could she possibly think I needed.... Ahhhhhhh! I had to eventually just give up and try again hoping i got someone new...And while I did get it all fixed up I again had to explain twice to the new person before he clued into the problem.

It's a good thing we as a species aren't telepathic cause the amount of swear words I was thinking were many...

Ok vent over.

sewardak posted 2/20/2019 09:55 AM

I'm so glad you started this thread. I've given up on humanity.
my good friend has said to me about three times, "i bet (DD) is going to have trouble getting pregnant because of her weight."
like, what does she want ME to do about it? also, it's none of her damn business.
who says that shit?

DragnHeart posted 2/20/2019 10:11 AM

Yep. Same here. Comments about the kids come in all the time. Especially DD. She's to thin. Ya no shit. And yes I'm feeding her. We've been out and someone has made a comment that the kids can't be their age because they are so small. I have gotten sarcastic and reply that I birthed four dwarves lol. Not entirely a lie. They are in a study for rare dwarfism syndromes lol.

It gets frustrating trying to explain things over and over. I don't have the patience for it anymore.

And it's no one's business where the hay is or how it's fed. We have a miniature horse. A normal.bale feeder would result in neck rub on him. Plus with a herd of eight horses with a heirarchy you can't have one bale feeder or they will fight. That means I have to fish out $500+ each for multiple bale feeders OR I can just put out many bales and let them have their own space to eat. Also for all she knows we have bale feeders out back. She didn't ask. She demanded they have them. Grrr

DragnHeart posted 2/20/2019 13:17 PM

I was just thinking also that she kept asking how much we pay for hay.

She doesn't even have horses...Why would she care? Nosey! Lol

Chrysalis123 posted 2/20/2019 19:13 PM

I am a horsewoman. One of the funniest things was a call to the police. I had a dead horse in the pasture. Flat out on his side. Not breathing. It was freezing out in February.

Said horse was napping in the sun. Horses do that sort of thing. They turn their bodies to collect as much sun as possible. This horse also snores...but she was too far away to hear. And he always naps at the same time each day, flat out on his side. He likes to be comfy!!

I just shake my head. And laugh. And take good care of my animals.

Phoenix1 posted 2/20/2019 19:28 PM

Busy bodies that like to interject their unwanted commentary are incredibly annoying. But you CAN be polite, albeit you must force yourself to withhold the words you REALLY want to unleash on them.

But what I do in those situations (which is often in my professional career) is smile, nod politely, and say something like, "Thank you. I will certainly take that into consideration." And go on about my day. Very polite way of saying, "You're an idiot. Take your idiocy elsewhere."

As for the animal care issue, this one really kills me. We had a busy body neighbor that called animal control on us once because he felt we were neglecting our dogs by leaving them in the snow. Sounds horrid, right?

Yeah, well, they were malamutes and preferred being in the snow, often laying on top of their insulated, hay lined dog houses (which they NEVER used) or table to get fresh air and a better view of their "domain." If we brought them inside, they would overheat and be at the door wanting to go outside.

Fortunately, when the animal control officer came to our house, she just smiled and shook her head. She had Siberian huskies herself and understood northern breeds well. Told us she would make note of the busy body neighbor in her records to avoid future unnecessary trips. Then we proceeded to compare notes on the two breeds.

People sometimes...I swear... SMH

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 7:29 PM, February 20th (Wednesday)]

DragnHeart posted 2/20/2019 19:30 PM

I saw a video of a woman who had gotten calls that her horse was dead. She took a video when she went out and like yours, the horse was napping. Only he was on his back with all four legs in the air. Totally funny. She goes up to the horse and tells him to get up and he does lol

My Facebook On This Day memories came up. Funny enough, on this day in 2014 I had the same complaint with the cell company as today...

Candyman66 posted 2/20/2019 19:48 PM

I have a simple rule, you be nice and I'll be nice, if you be rude then I WILL be rude right back!!!
I will usually up the ante significantly.

I realize that you don't really have that option 1st because you are a lady and 2nd because you are a little vertically challenged.

I really have no advice, sorry. I thought you Canadians were nice people.

RubixCubed posted 2/20/2019 20:41 PM

There's just no way to politely tell someone to fuck off.

Unless there is a reason like it's your boss, why bother being polite. It only seems to cause more grief. Or just look at them and say "OK" and that's it.

Tallgirl posted 2/21/2019 06:00 AM

Try saying “gently, fuck off”

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 6:03 AM, February 21st (Thursday)]

Tallgirl posted 2/21/2019 09:45 AM

another thread killed by me.

DragnHeart posted 2/21/2019 15:18 PM

No you didn't. I was having issues posting earlier and got upset with my phone. Instead of allowing things to turn violent I decided that my phone and I needed a temporary separation. And it's been a busy day so....

I'm going out but I'll be back later. The phone e is still having g a tantrum and needs a time out.

Jeaniegirl posted 2/21/2019 15:43 PM

I have zero patience with people who try to interfere with MY business. My classic response is for them to go find themselves some business and stay out of mine. Life is too short to deal with stupid people. So I don't.

DragnHeart posted 2/21/2019 18:08 PM

The horse owners know the woman who stopped by and the response was:

"Oh just tell her to F off!" Lol

I'm not typically an F off person. As someone else stated I try to be the nice Canadian but man....It's so hard these days. I've let alot slip by without saying a word over the years. I let way to much slide with doctors regarding DD until the mamma bear bitch from hell took over.

I wanted to let the bitch rage this evening at the school's family cooking project meeting but I made my point and let it be.

Tallgirl posted 2/21/2019 20:44 PM

The Canadian in me Added the “gently”

pureheartkit posted 2/23/2019 11:01 AM

Get a big book. Ask them to write it down. As the pages fill up, the people will get the idea.

Your horses are lucky to be in a group. I feel sad to see a single horse alone in a small pen bored all day. Your horses have a good life.

ZenMumWalking posted 2/23/2019 12:56 PM

I was just thinking also that she kept asking how much we pay for hay.

'Why? Would you like to make a contribution to my feed bill?'

DragnHeart posted 2/23/2019 13:15 PM

Why? Would you like to make a contribution to my feed bill?'

That would have been a perfect reply. But I suck at snappy comebacks lol.

Cooley2here posted 2/23/2019 16:18 PM

Always turn comments back to the other person. The first question you would ask is, why would you ask that?. The second thing you could ask is, why do you say that. The third thing is, why would you say that. And the fourth thing is that’s rude, please stop. You’d be amazed at how just not reacting but letting them know they’re being rude. I have no idea where good manners have gone but they certainly have gone.

Followtheriver posted 2/24/2019 16:19 PM

DragonHeart,

Since there really is no way to tell dumb ass people nicely fuck off, I do it with a sense of humor, a bit of sarcasm and a smile.

I have been doing my farm animal rescue for several years now and the people who have stopped by to give their "helpful advice" about my animals never ceases to amaze me.

Now, I have about 5 acres of fenced pasture in front of my house with our driveway in the in the middle, so I have a pretty good view of everything from the house and barn. I am used to cars slowing down looking at all my different animals, horses, (2 mini's) goats, sheep, llamas and alpacas because they are usually all together and you don't always see a a herd like mine.

I have gotten the few who felt the need to stop by and "advise" me on cold weather, snow, blankets and horses. Since it is rude to interrupt, I always let them finish before I open up River's school of horse care.

Then there were the two guys who stopped and wanted to hunt my property. I just happened to be down at the barn, so they were on one side of the fence and I was on the side with all my animals which I was thankful for because they would not take no for an answer and they started to give me the creeps. Just when I started to unzip my overalls to reach my sidearm, the younger one asked me "what the hell is that?" I glanced over my shoulder and smiled when I told them "that would be my Tipper ready to protect her Mama. (She already had her head up and ears back) first she's going to make a God awful noise, then spit the most nasty green goo, she'll come up on her back legs to stomp and she has what is called castration teeth. I'll let that speak for itself. For some reason they left rather quickly. I love my llamas!

Then there was the young couple drive slowly by my place and I see them turn around and come up my driveway. I walked out and stood on the front porch while they get out of their car, I asked them "what can I do for ya?" The guy starts telling me that something was wrong with a couple of my horses because they were struggling to get up and he hated to be the one to tell me but one of them was dead in my pasture. I looked out over the pasture, just shook my head and said "son of a bitch, it's happened again." Then I walked over to the fence and yelled "dammit, quite rolling in the mud and Penny, get your ass up so these nice people know you aren't dead!" Needless to say, those nice people have never been back.

I will say that nothing gets rid of strangers stopping by my farm faster than my sign with bullet holes that says "nothing here worth dying over" and answering the door while I'm adjusting my sidearm in its holster and I always open carry when I'm down at the barn working.

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