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Things that every WS needs to know

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MareP posted 4/1/2019 22:04 PM

Thanks for re-posting. We are slightly over 14 months after DD. My BS sent this to me early on, and when I first read it I did not understand how accurate your description of the unbelievable pain and suffering caused by my affair. Now I understand it much better, and regret my selfishness and insensitivity in not doing so earlier.

It’s an ordeal for you to witness their tortured, depressed and angry states, and what’s worse you don’t know what to do. You’re not alone. Unfaithful spouses never dream they’ll get busted, so when confronted with their adultery they’re always caught by surprise first by their partners’ knowledge, then by their intense agony. Indeed, unfaithful partners never think about what they’ll face “after” until after. The fact is: Though they inflict it, adulterers are unprepared for the onslaught of their spouses’ overwhelming emotional distress.

The above really resonated with me. I never dreamed I would be caught, and especially did not think the AP would be the one to disclose the affair. I never truly considered the harm my actions and deceit caused, even if the BS never discovered the truth. What I most deal with is my lack of morals and ethics that were always so evident by my behavior, but which I never addressed because of my own selfishness and sense of privilege. My BS now has to endure the pain of betrayal due to my actions, and for which there is no one else to blame.

The pain and suffering are almost constant. Even during what most would describe as a good time I see expressions that tells me something is triggering thoughts of the affair and my betrayal. It permeates our life, surrounds us, and never goes away. While I understand I must accept my actions, and their horrid consequences, I will never forgive myself for my actions and the harm they caused.

Barregirl posted 4/6/2019 06:01 AM

Bump

EvolvingSoul posted 4/11/2019 20:24 PM

Bumped for hopingforpeace19.

EvolvingSoul posted 4/17/2019 23:14 PM

Bumped for Change4thebetter.

EvolvingSoul posted 4/29/2019 21:32 PM

Bump.

PurpleHaze posted 5/5/2019 17:48 PM

bump

EvolvingSoul posted 5/8/2019 16:17 PM

Bumped for Firework.

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