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Maia's Withdrawal Survival Guide (repost for newbies)

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Maia posted 8/29/2016 01:01 AM

Don't give up. I hug my grandchildren now years later. It can be okay. Hang in. Hugs.

AMaeMOBluesawyer posted 9/1/2016 13:29 PM

Great read, Maia. Thanks for all the stories, motivation, prayers, insight, everything. Love your writing style.

I'm still working through my withdrawal (after 4.5 years) but had a great breakthrough a couple of months ago. Now just working on reconnecting with my SO. It's amazing how much coming here and reading and just a few posts have helped me already.

Just keep swimming,


[This message edited by AMaeMOBluesawyer at 5:05 PM, September 1st (Thursday)]

Skibunny posted 9/7/2016 03:51 AM


Needed a re-read of this so thought I'd get it back on the front page too.

Maia posted 10/3/2016 05:15 AM

lostbutnotgone posted 10/3/2016 06:44 AM

Needed this today, thanks for the bump.

Maia posted 10/10/2016 12:17 PM

keep posting how you're doing, lost.

lostbutnotgone posted 10/10/2016 15:16 PM

Thanks, I will. I have really awful moments in each day, but there are good moments in each day too. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head that it's hard to get a clear picture of what's going on. I have been journaling for about a week now and going to IC for nearly 6 weeks now. TT has occurred and I'm working to be completely transparent with my partner. I've been too focused on safeguarding my own emotions and not with protecting and healing my BS's emotions. Your guides truly are helpful. When I weak moments, I continue to look at them. Tonight, I'm also picking up Sue Monk's book you recommended to me last week.

Maia posted 10/10/2016 18:17 PM

ahhhhh thats a great book. it isn't a quick read, its a thoughtful read. But very good. Let me know what you think!!

Maia posted 10/28/2016 12:06 PM

Maia posted 11/4/2016 11:40 AM

lostbutnotgone posted 11/4/2016 14:18 PM

Thanks for the bump, Maia.

Maia posted 11/7/2016 06:38 AM

You're welcome. Bump for the foggies.

Guys if you cling to "it was love" then it neatly absolves you of guilt (not really but you'll believe it does.. that's what's been fed to you by rom coms) so it's hard to reject that. But if you do, it will help. A lot.

The word glory means "an accurate estimate or opinion of" and it usually pertains to God and I believe everyone has a glory that reflects their Creator. and the truth is in other humans we can be drawn to a persons glory. That's why a person can be a disaster in every part of life but brilliant in their job. Because they're acting from their glory. It's a grace given to them. So what happens is we really want or need God and our thirsty hearts see a person's glory and bam. Strong attraction. Then that gets twisted and used as a snare.

Not all the time. There are as many types of As as there are people. But I think (speaking to Christians) it's a Thing. I suspect this more with those who struggle with Withdrawal for long periods.

[This message edited by Maia at 6:46 AM, November 7th (Monday)]

Fallen40 posted 11/9/2016 12:16 PM

Thank you for that post. My A was with a man who is/was supposedly a Christian. I was the worship leader at my church, and he has a band that sings at different churches. That was his glory, I guess. He had a reputation for having As in the past, but I fell for all the sweet words and veiled promises. I find myself going through the stages you mentioned. But these days my prayer life feels debilitated. So far from God and I don't know how to get back.

Maia posted 11/10/2016 10:47 AM

He is never far from you. He promised you that.

you meant it for evil but there is nothing, not the most heinous act of evil men can work, that is beyond His power to use it for good. It doesn't undo the evil. But it is redeemed. Thats what the Cross means. If you can accept that in your heart, it will help.


Maia posted 12/21/2016 12:02 PM

sorrowfulmate posted 1/2/2017 21:07 PM


Maia posted 2/6/2017 23:07 PM

sorrowfulmate posted 2/16/2017 22:42 PM

bump for RS

sorrowfulmate posted 3/22/2017 14:11 PM


AnotherIdiot posted 3/24/2017 15:51 PM


God is never far, seek him and you will find him. Prayer life and spiritual awakening do improve your world, and your character. Pray daily- make it a habit. Start with Psalm 103 and then do a Lectio Divina [active Missal reading of the scripture, participative] followed by the Our father. Meditate and contemplate some aspects of the daily reading that attract you as part of the lectio divina. Pray for guidance, help, mercy and love. Talk with God. Do this 2x a day. You will slowly stabilize and feel more secure and centered. Frameworks such as the spiritual exercises by Loyola also can help a lot.
Good luck.

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