SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
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User Topic: Religious & Political threads
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 5:24 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

SI is a support board from the pain of infidelity. We have very few rules here. We have asked in the past to please refrain posting about religious or political beliefs.

It is beyond difficult to moderate something that some are offended by and others not. In the future any religious and/or political threads will be locked.

SI Staff


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
NewAttitude
Member
Member # 1030
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

bump


Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

Posts: 58732 | Registered: Jan 2003
SithGoddess
Member
Member # 1246
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

Hey, why don't you guys use one of those thumbtack thingies and then you won't have to keep bumping this?


"Life is hard. It's even harder when you're stupid." - Mango

Posts: 23401 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: Eastern Ontario
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

We like to refer to them as Sticky Bun threads

I'll have MH take care of it...thanks Sith


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
making it
Member
Member # 4013
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

Lordy girls...We're going to have half the post on SI on Honey Buns..LOL


If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies. I made it!!!

Have you thanked your Fleas today?

He was misbehavin', so I had to kill him!!!!! LOL



Posts: 10453 | Registered: Apr 2004 | From: A Brand New Life
knucklehead
Member
Member # 2041
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

Yeah, a sticky bun would be nice. Almonds or pecans?


"The argument that one doesn't have to take responsibility for what comes out of ones mouth because one has gone through something is bullshit." My good friend Archy. Archy for Prez!

Posts: 6263 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Atlanta by way of NY
girlalmostgone
Member
Member # 4867
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, February 5th (Sunday)

Oh great.. now I am hungry!!


Love is no assignment for cowards. Ovid

I just really feel like I am a hamster running on the wheel.. and I am ready to get off the wheel, and try running around in the hamster ball.. kinda like a free range chicken.


Posts: 37201 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: Texas
ms_swooz
Member
Member # 6970
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, February 6th (Monday)

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

We have a two hour delay here, the roads don't look too bad, I'm thinking I need to take me and the kiddos out for some nice hot sticky buns.

thanks for the ideas everyone!


Posts: 2626 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: western PA
damged
Member
Member # 8931
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, February 6th (Monday)

Does this include taglines that are offensive to Christians? Also, may we state that we are praying for an individual?


me-51
WH-57

S-17
D-DAY 11/06/2005

He came to pay a debt He didn't owe, because we owed a debt we couldn't pay.

Backward, turn backward, oh time in your flight. Make me a child again just for tonight!


Posts: 1614 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: somewhere between can and can't
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, February 6th (Monday)

This only applies to actual threads that induce religious or political debates

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 1:58 PM, February 6th (Monday)]


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
damged
Member
Member # 8931
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 6th (Monday)

Thanks for the clarification!


me-51
WH-57

S-17
D-DAY 11/06/2005

He came to pay a debt He didn't owe, because we owed a debt we couldn't pay.

Backward, turn backward, oh time in your flight. Make me a child again just for tonight!


Posts: 1614 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: somewhere between can and can't
Ifthisisit
Member
Member # 5288
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, February 8th (Wednesday)

One more question, DS. Does this mean we can get rid of the Clinton/oral sex stuff too?


His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. Mae West

Posts: 5868 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: East Coast
mommyforthree
Member
Member # 8883
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, February 9th (Thursday)

Are you stating direct attacts on a particular religious belief? I personally have found the posts from other believers as to their faith in helping thru the issues extremely helpful and encouraging. Please explain...not sure I understand.

Posts: 436 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Minneapolis, MN
NOTaDOG22
New Member
Member # 7060
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, February 10th (Friday)

I think maybe it's okay to mention that your faith has helped you through, but I think what they want is for folks to not be suggestive towards any one particular religion, or even to offer anything of your own. Most people know what you mean when you use the word faith, so I would say that is pretty safe.

What do you say SI Staff?


ME:BS, 23, STBD
HER:WS, 26, acts like she is 16
2 Kids; 6yr old SD, 3yr old son
Unfortunately, no chance of relationship w/my SD
My life, my heart is my son now
"Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it"

Posts: 24 | Registered: May 2005 | From: georgia
ImTheRealThing
Member
Member # 2524
Shutup  Posted: 1:52 AM, February 11th (Saturday)

I guess I better quit calling people Godless Communists or I will get two strikes at once.


Met in 1974. Married since 1979.
Reconciled and happy

"Some people call a willingness to work on things 'compromise'. I call it 'love'". - erzulie


Posts: 1961 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: Southern California
inbits
Member
Member # 5859
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, February 12th (Sunday)

i don't know about politics, but i believe that religion and spirituality BELONG in a site that deals with infidelity, commitment and forgiveness.


me BS 49/him FWS 44
2 amazing daughters 13,16
dday 10/27/04
"whole truth" 11/26/04
very brief PA-
doing our best to R
love-peace-mind-body-spirit

Posts: 3901 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: western NY
DesertLotus
Member
Member # 9095
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, February 12th (Sunday)

But people of varying religions post here. Some religious posts may offend. Religion and politics tend to become heated discussions. I think this is why the topics are discouraged.


"The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it." ~ Sri Nisargadatta

Posts: 10462 | Registered: Dec 2005
truthsetmefree
Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, February 13th (Monday)

There are opportunities to be offended by something every day. I consider myself most fortunate when I have the option to turn the channel, put down the magazine, or not post a reply. As long as that remains a choice, I don't see that censorship is required.

Mods - I completely understand your goal. I understand the desire to keep this site pure & supportive.

I just wish that we could all come here, take what we need, leave what we have to offer, & ignore what doesn't apply to our situations.


Posts: 7682 | Registered: May 2005
what now?
Member
Member # 6134
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, February 14th (Tuesday)

Interesting..glad to see this actually.

I've been involved in a few of these heated discussions.

I benefit from, utilize and cherish freedom of speech in my everyday life, make a living this way actually, but the goal here is to facilitate healing from infidelity.

There are other forums on the internet and elsewhere to hash out our differences. Here, at SI, I'm grateful to the mods for keeping us on track.

Thanks Mods, for keeping this a safe place


Expect Miracles, even when your heart breaks.
"The ghost fades and reappears, but each time it comes back and gets talked about, its a little weaker and our marriage is stronger"
Sacred Soul

Posts: 1590 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Edge of sanity
angry_wet_cat
Member
Member # 1321
Content  Posted: 7:04 PM, February 15th (Wednesday)

For a lot of people - men and women - and for a lot of, say, Orthodox Muslims, Catholics and Jews, it is difficult, if not impossible, to separate politics from their beliefs.

In the Muslim world, I believe if my research and reading is correct, that there is no difference, distinction or separation of beliefs and politics; both are one in the same.

Ditto for Orthodox Catholics.

I suppose the only ones such *wouldn't* apply to would, really, be atheists.

Denying my politcical sympathies would be like me denying my religious/spiritual beliefs, however I understand "why" such is said.

With True Conviction,

angry_wet_cat


" It's a PROVEN FACT that you HAVE to STAND for SOMETHING, or you'll FALL for ANYTHING. "

Posts: 495 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Not where I want to be.
disjunction
Member
Member # 7291
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, February 16th (Thursday)

Not discussing religion or politics is a basic rule of polite discourse. This is a totally reasonable request.

DJ


Posts: 259 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Boston
sadandafraid
Member
Member # 7861
Frustrated  Posted: 12:15 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

Hear hear angry and truth - one of my posts (for which I received many supportive PMs) was deleted by the mods. I think this is just one example of the pathetic age we live in when we are constantly being told we must avoid offending others. Hence the crap of Political Correctness (oh sorry, have I hurt a PC believer?)

The fact is, that as truth said, EVERYTHING can offend someone. I could have got offended by the remark made by a poster who was blatently anti-abortion and kept calling the bunch of cells which had been aborted as 'a baby' and 'a life'.

There may be Mormons who come into this site as BSs and get offended because someone says, 'Gosh I need a coffee!'

For crying out loud - we're all meant to be adults.


Me BW 43
Him WH 47
26 years together
1 beautiful daughter 19
D-Day #1 13/09/02
D-Day #2 12/11/05

"What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side?
That you don't want me there in your life?"
(Coldplay)

Posts: 135 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: UK
jqadams
New Member
Member # 9863
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

As a new member to SI, this was the first thread I read. Not sure it bodes well for the rest of the site if everyone can't feel safe to share their thoughts in a respectful manner. I can understand the lack of relevance between political beliefs and the healing from infidelity, but religious faith is a totally different matter. To many, it is the core sustainance that got them through the pain, to either forgive or repent, and to move on to a healthier place. Should this be a missionary battlefield to win souls? No, of course not. But to preclude someone from explaining how faith helped them through the recovery process denies them the opportunity to express themselves honestly on this forum. I thought that was what this forum was all about.

Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2006
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, February 22nd (Wednesday)

jqadams...

What an interesting first post.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
cortjstr
Member
Member # 9669
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, March 6th (Monday)

that was lame..my post was not religious..it reflected no religous belief or opinion and it did not aspire to induce religious debate...it was a friggin joke that's a bullshit call moderators!!!!!!

Posts: 64 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: Nashville
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, March 7th (Tuesday)

cortjstr...

I'm not sure why you think us moving your joke thread to Fun & Games was "bullshit"

DS


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
spincycle
Member
Member # 5853
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, March 28th (Tuesday)

I've got to say that if I post to a thread and say I'll pray for you, that should really be allowed. I know that in America we have to bend backwards over for athiests, commies, and everyone else for the purpose of not offending the obscenely SMALL minority, but for christ sakes (intended)are infidelity boards under attack? This board IS based in Texas. I didn't think we played that shit here.


Me, 37 BH
WS, 32, and 6 (now 10) (now 12)separate affairs
DS 5, and DD 2.
D-DAY 11-18-04
Divorced 2-2012, if only I had listen to you all in 04, if only I had run away.

Posts: 1510 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Houston
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, March 29th (Wednesday)

Spin...

I'm confused by your post. Are you saying that because SI is based in Texas it should be run in fundamentalist fashion and people should be able to say what they want about religion?

If you could clarify, I would appreciate it

DS


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
drowninginsorrow
Member
Member # 4545
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, March 29th (Wednesday)

so... a priest and a rabbi and a baptist minister go to a support board....

and they all are respectful of everyone else posting


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.- Matt Groening
"I've found the secret to life. I'm ok when everything is not ok"- Tori Amos lyrics

Posts: 56712 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: canuckistan
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, March 29th (Wednesday)


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
Ivy2006
New Member
Member # 9214
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, May 7th (Sunday)

Healing and faith in God often go hand in hand. I have always enjoyed reading and posting here but now I have to be politically correct and talk like an atheist ????

Grow up moderators - are we on a communist site where freedom of speech is non -existant?? Me thinks you all have too much time on your hands to micro-manage the site and no backbone to allow freedom of speech.

[This message edited by Ivy2006 at 9:47 AM, May 7th (Sunday)]


you do not know what hell is like until you have walked in a betrayed woman's shoes,,,,

Posts: 23 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: ma.
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, May 8th (Monday)

And your above post just shows what a tolerant Christian you are.

You have a PM from yesterday.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
dazedinCA
Member
Member # 5618
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, May 8th (Monday)

FYI...

Freedom of speech is a constitutional right that applies only to situations that involve the government. Private organizations, companies and individuals can limit you in any way they please. THAT is *their* right.

ETA: Posting here is a privilege, *not* a right.

[This message edited by dazedinCA at 1:06 PM, May 8th (Monday)]


Pfffffft...

"As rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, let your heart be untroubled by judgements and let your kindness rain on all."

"At the bottom of things, most people want to be understood and appreciated."


Posts: 6328 | Registered: Oct 2004
Ivy2006
New Member
Member # 9214
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, May 8th (Monday)

Why label me as a "tolerant Christian"....YOU just offended me by assuming I am!! What if I told you I believed in Allah, Mohammed and Buddah???
Do not private post to me - have enough backbone to say what you have to say here in front of everyone else. The more I hear from you moderators the more you make me
The people at this site are great..you moderators SUCK!

[This message edited by Ivy2006 at 9:36 PM, May 8th (Monday)]


you do not know what hell is like until you have walked in a betrayed woman's shoes,,,,

Posts: 23 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: ma.
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Target  Posted: 9:42 PM, May 8th (Monday)

***What if I told you I believed in Allah, Mohammed and Buddah??? ***

You didn't mention any of them...you referred to God, which is meant in the Christian language.

I have backbone enough to tell you that we don't need your insults here.

I hope you find the healing and peace you seem to need.

DS


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
kdny
Member
Member # 760
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, May 8th (Monday)

DS is nicer than I am.

I suck enough to kick your nasty ass right off the site.

Bye bye.


Whether we remain ash or become phoenix is up to us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes the fine line between a nervous breakdown and knowing things will be okay is a pair of furry pants~unfound

Posts: 81335 | Registered: Dec 2002 | From: Slightly left of center, standing on my head
KSA2
Member
Member # 9474
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, May 10th (Wednesday)

Freedom of speech in the US is your constitutional right to criticize your government without fear of persecution.

It does not mean you can falsely shout "fire" in a crowded theater.

It also does not mean you can go to someone's house, become abusive, and expect that no on can make you leave.

This is a private site. Think of it as DS and MH's living room, if you will. They've invited us in and welcomed us - behave as any courteous guest would and abide by their rules, and you'll have no problems.

Otherwise, they may pitch you out on your ass, and all the screaming of "You're mean!" at them won't make a bit of difference.

[This message edited by KSA2 at 5:43 PM, May 10th (Wednesday)]


No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

Posts: 29360 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Mod Dungeon
brokenone
Member
Member # 6577
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, May 11th (Thursday)


[This message edited by brokenone at 6:06 PM, May 17th (Wednesday)]


It's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and get back up and keep going.
Author unknown.

Me 44
Wife 45
Married 24 years to life.

Posts: 281 | Registered: Mar 2005
Markus ur Alias
Member
Member # 10889
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, June 5th (Monday)

I'm new here but for what it's worth I am very hard headed regarding the aforementioned topics and I have seen them turn other boards (also not political or religious) to crap. This is an excellent policy and I'm not indicitive of the moderator's faith or lack thereof. Good work mods.


"I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication"
Tool - Schism

Posts: 1539 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Philadelphia, PA
willowiris
Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 5th (Monday)

But they have said that if Dick Cheney gets a nun pregnant then I am able to discuss it as an infidelity related thread!


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
brokemywife
New Member
Member # 5879
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 13th (Tuesday)

yet, there is a thread on a forum here titled "religion"?????????????????


broke my wife-disregarded my kids all for my selfishness.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: western new york
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, June 13th (Tuesday)

Yes, there is. It's not a debate thread...they're asking if spiritual guidence helps during the very stressful and painful times.

DS


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
knucklehead
Member
Member # 2041
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, August 19th (Saturday)

Well, since I believe in the higher power of chocolate, I think any thread that mentions food should be considered BOTH political AND religious!


"The argument that one doesn't have to take responsibility for what comes out of ones mouth because one has gone through something is bullshit." My good friend Archy. Archy for Prez!

Posts: 6263 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Atlanta by way of NY
angry_wet_cat
Member
Member # 1321
Target  Posted: 2:31 PM, October 24th (Tuesday)

@ the risk of "offending" the "politically correct", "Let's all celebrate divresity and get along" crowd, I'm going to state the obvious -

As OTHERS here have said - - for a lot, if not MOST sincerely believing people of ANY faith, it's DIFFICULT, if not IMPOSSIBLE to SEPARATE religious beliefs from politics.

In certain parts of the world(and we all know pretty much where and with whom)separation of these two things are IMPOSSIBLE.

Does that make them right and those that believe differently, somehow wrong..or vice versa? No!

It's just stating an OBVIOUS FACT that MUST be ACKNOWLEDGED and APPROPRIATELY dealt with, and in the PROPER context, that's all!

It's seems "okay" to discus certain topics and NOT others..and what's acceptable for one or some ISN'T acceptable for others..under the SAME circumstances??

Um, I think the words that MOST come to my mind are MORAL SCHIZOPHRENIA!

As someone just said, "Someone's ALWAYS going to be offened by the TRUTH", and you know what *I* say?

Tough.

So be it.

That's LIFE.

And LIFE can be pretty damn unfair, cold and downright cruel.

Again, THAT'S LIFE!

I'd rather be HATED for speaking the OBJECTIVE TRUTH and be HATED for what I REALLY am..that for what I am NOT.

I can't remember off the top of my memory WHO said that, but it's so damn TRUE!

Sex, Religion and Politics.

Hmmm.

Let's see..

Infidelity is quite a hot issue that involves one and/or MORE of these equally loaded items.

Someone that CAN'T or WON'T "deal" with it on its terms should, for the illusion of sanity or preconceived notions, NOT look @, stay @ or comment in ANY way, shape and/or form about the content of such sites as SI.com.

Such individuals have the right to bitch and complain and shove their liberal ideology down my and our throats..

*I* and others here have the SAME AND EQUAL right to STAND OUR GROUND and deal with such on OUR terms..WITHOUT being HAMSTRUNG by so-called "political correctness".

'Nuff said.

With strenth, honor and conviction, I am,

angry_wet_cat

** I've put myself through - and been put through - too much to say, think and believe otherwise. **


" It's a PROVEN FACT that you HAVE to STAND for SOMETHING, or you'll FALL for ANYTHING. "

Posts: 495 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Not where I want to be.
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 2:39 PM, October 24th (Tuesday)

I'm not sure what part of SI's guideline you're not understanding.

This is not a political or religious board. If that's what you want to discuss, there are plenty of message boards that can accomdate your need. SI is not one of them.

DS


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
Celestial Venom
Member
Member # 8705
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 24th (Tuesday)

WOW.

I hadn't read this in a while. Touchy subject?

I am trying to break myself from the higher power of chocolate...
You MODs DONT SUCK, THEY are AWESOME!!

And DS and MH are absolutely the greatest for allowing us all into their living room.. I wouldn't do it, not my living room


when you smile things begin to look different, happier and more possibilities come your way....

Posts: 579 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Florida
spincycle
Member
Member # 5853
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, November 7th (Tuesday)

Ok,

I think a couple of groups SHOULD be fair game though.

I think jehovahs witness and scientologists should be OK'ed to snipe at.

I also think that the issues surrounding islam with regards to treatment of women/rape/rights that islam should also be fair game.


Me, 37 BH
WS, 32, and 6 (now 10) (now 12)separate affairs
DS 5, and DD 2.
D-DAY 11-18-04
Divorced 2-2012, if only I had listen to you all in 04, if only I had run away.

Posts: 1510 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Houston
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, November 7th (Tuesday)

Maybe...but not on SI

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 10:20 PM, November 7th (Tuesday)]


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
iamsorry
Member
Member # 13394
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, January 24th (Wednesday)

I for one thank the mods for keeping this a place free of political and religious rhetoric. Everyone keeps saying this crap about “freedom of speech.” Fine, go out and start your own site. This one is privately owned and operated according to what rules they desire not you. If you cannot abide by their rules, then go elsewhere. Faith is one thing, religion is another. How would everyone feel if I spoke openly and freely about my faith in the devil and animal sacrifice? I think that suddenly your “freedom of speech” would not count for me. To say that you pray for someone is a nice thing, it is free of religion. To tell them how your god can help them is another.
By not allowing people to address these topics here where they do not belong, nobody is having anybody force any religious or liberal ideology down anyone’s throat. For those that feel “*I* and others here have the SAME AND EQUAL right to STAND OUR GROUND and deal with such on OUR terms.” Please feel free to do so at your own forum that YOU run and moderate and develop and incur the expenses for. Until that time, this one is subjected to the rules that SI wants as it is THEIR right to do so, and YOUR right to go away and express what ever you want where it is welcome!

Thank you mods for your hard work and enforcing good, well thought-out rules. I look forward to making my donation to a site well run and free of pointless opinionated rhetoric.


The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. - Socrates

A man who finds no satisfaction in himself seeks for it in vain elsewhere.- Francois La Rouchefoucauld


Posts: 81 | Registered: Jan 2007
tiredandsad
Member
Member # 9180
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, February 11th (Sunday)

Oops, did I just goof by saying I wan't religious in an earlier post in General? I meant it in terms of trying to step out of my isolation.

If I erred, I apologize.


Posts: 595 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: Mass
kdny
Member
Member # 760
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, February 11th (Sunday)

No, you didn't goof. The rule is that we don't debate religion here, we don't bash others beliefs or their right to believe whatever they want to believe.

That goes for politics too.


Whether we remain ash or become phoenix is up to us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes the fine line between a nervous breakdown and knowing things will be okay is a pair of furry pants~unfound

Posts: 81335 | Registered: Dec 2002 | From: Slightly left of center, standing on my head
tiredandsad
Member
Member # 9180
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, February 11th (Sunday)

Thanks.

Politics should be pretty easy. They don't get more apolitical than me although I have been known to argue a stupid point that I don't really even care about just to be ornery.

Have a good night.


Posts: 595 | Registered: Dec 2005 | From: Mass
hard2live
Member
Member # 12963
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, February 19th (Monday)

My father always told me there are three things you don't discuss in the workplace: politics, religion and sex. At least we can discuss one of the three here.


Married 9 years and divorced soon.
Two children 5 and 8.

Posts: 75 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Richmond, VA
Nodicei
Member
Member # 14403
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, April 29th (Sunday)

previously posted elsewhere

[This message edited by drowninginsorrow at 10:01 PM, April 29th (Sunday)]


Posts: 121 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Laurel, Maryland
spincycle
Member
Member # 5853
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, June 26th (Tuesday)

No one has responded to this in a while! What about Klingon's?


Me, 37 BH
WS, 32, and 6 (now 10) (now 12)separate affairs
DS 5, and DD 2.
D-DAY 11-18-04
Divorced 2-2012, if only I had listen to you all in 04, if only I had run away.

Posts: 1510 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Houston
Mr. Right
New Member
Member # 16041
Cool  Posted: 9:16 PM, September 3rd (Monday)

I'm brand-spankin new here, but I think spiritual talk has its place in this kind of forum. After all, did we not all stand before a Pastor and give vows of fidelity so help us God? If our vows were made to each other and before God as our witness, why then, are we afraid to discuss the spiritual aspects of marriage, infidelity and divorce? The spiritual game plays just as much a role in marriage, infidelity and divorce as does the physical and mental games, if not more so. Peace out.

[This message edited by Mr. Right at 9:26 PM, September 3rd (Monday)]


Since everything around us is going to melt away, what Holy and Godly lives you should be living. - St. Peter

Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: On the road least traveled by.
Mr. Right
New Member
Member # 16041
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, September 3rd (Monday)

And, one more thing. I cannot believe with all these different forums, that one lonely little forum cannot be set aside for people who want to delve into the religious and spiritual issue. It just seems kinda chicken-shit to me that the real crux of most of our marital problems cannot even be addressed on one small little forum. Who's it going to hurt anyway? If people don't want that kind of talk, then they have 100 other forums they can participate in. But, as it is, those of us who clearly see the spiritual side of things are censored and shut out. Excuse me while I...

[This message edited by Mr. Right at 9:34 PM, September 3rd (Monday)]


Since everything around us is going to melt away, what Holy and Godly lives you should be living. - St. Peter

Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: On the road least traveled by.
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, September 3rd (Monday)

"After all, did we not all stand before a Pastor and give vows of fidelity so help us God?"

Ummm. No we "ALL" didn't. Some of had rabbis or a justice of the peace or a handfasting.. or holy horror are dealing with infidelity in a commited relationship but aren't married.
It makes complete sense to me that while we are dealing with this issue we don't go off into religious debate.
It isn't banned or unmentionable to state your beiliefs as it relates to infidelity. Many people mention prayer. It is just not the board to be sparking a debate about whether "Living in Sin" is acceptable. KWIM?
And FYI as you are brand spanking new here.. our VOLUNTEER moderators are managing a site of 16000 members.. and they are freaking fabulous. Trust me.. their decisions are well thought out and the result of years of experience in moderating this forum.
Welcome to S.I.... I know it takes awhile to get the hang of things but this is a great site

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 9:41 PM, September 3rd (Monday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 43965 | Registered: Sep 2006
Mr. Right
New Member
Member # 16041
Cool  Posted: 12:44 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Alright, Metamorphisis, you got me there. Only 95% of us had a pastor officiate our wedding. And, I'm sure Hitler had WWII planned out fairly well, too, but it doesn't mean it's right. Now, if you don't mind, I feel a little queezy.... Ahhh, that's better.

[This message edited by Mr. Right at 12:46 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


Since everything around us is going to melt away, what Holy and Godly lives you should be living. - St. Peter

Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: On the road least traveled by.
drowninginsorrow
Member
Member # 4545
Red  Posted: 9:26 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)

mr right...spiritual talk is fine...(i see you already found and posted in the inspirations forum)

it's the debates and/or slamming of religious beliefs we don't have here

from the guidelines page:

"Please show respect for others - people of all types, beliefs, and cultures populate these forums. There will be no political statements or discussions, and no religious debates."

and of course the purpose of this whole thread was to reenforce that... not argue it


[This message edited by drowninginsorrow at 9:28 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.- Matt Groening
"I've found the secret to life. I'm ok when everything is not ok"- Tori Amos lyrics

Posts: 56712 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: canuckistan
KSA2
Member
Member # 9474
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, September 4th (Tuesday)

This is a privately owned support forum for infidelity. The rules regarding this subject are simple: No religious debate or political discussion/debate.

You can discuss how your religion has helped you through this mess, with like-minded individuals.

You *cannot* argue, debate, proselytize, and criticize any religion whatsoever - that is not the purpose of these forums.

We do not hunt down any member on the web and bind them to this forum, giving them no option of leaving or posting elsewhere. The members come to us and request to participate by registering.

When you applied for membership to these forums by registering, you voluntarily entered into an informal contract with the administration of this forum. You agreed to abide by the rules in return for the use of the forums. Should you, after the fact, decide to violate those rules, we will enforce our options under that contract and escort you off the site if we deem it necessary to the safety and peaceful running of these forums.

So, the question now is this: Do you want to utilize the site under the rules of the owners/administrators, or do you want to leave the site and post elsewhere or go start your own where you can make all the Hitler/Nazi references you want to your heart's content?

It really is fairly simple. And it's completely your choice.


No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

Posts: 29360 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Mod Dungeon
Mr. Right
New Member
Member # 16041
Angry  Posted: 5:02 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

KSA2:

It's obvious to me that you have some serious issues and if the great minds behind this website cannot allow some spiritual discussion or even a little spirited debate, then you have put together something that will never be effective in the long run. I've noticed that some of your constituents have thousands of posts, which leads me to believe they are unable to emotionally move upward or onward. The moderator before you explained things to me in a very respectful manner and even sent me a personal message with hopes of clarifying things, but you came on here sounding like a real big-shot and Class A a$$hole.

In any event, political correctness is for cowards, mental midgets and spiritual dwarfs. If I want something that is watered down and lacks substance, I'll stop by in the future, or write you a private message. But, until then...you have a clean-up on aisle 3.

[This message edited by Mr. Right at 5:04 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


Since everything around us is going to melt away, what Holy and Godly lives you should be living. - St. Peter

Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: On the road least traveled by.
KSA2
Member
Member # 9474
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

I'll stop by in the future, or write you a private message.

No.....you won't.


No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

Posts: 29360 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Mod Dungeon
kdny
Member
Member # 760
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Buh bye........

[This message edited by kdny at 5:13 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


Whether we remain ash or become phoenix is up to us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes the fine line between a nervous breakdown and knowing things will be okay is a pair of furry pants~unfound

Posts: 81335 | Registered: Dec 2002 | From: Slightly left of center, standing on my head
HippyGirl
Member
Member # 10966
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Awwwwwwww, I just popped some popcorn and pulled up a comfy chair...ready to watch the fireworks.


"My religion is simple. My religion is kindness." Dalai Lama

Posts: 2614 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Colorado
drowninginsorrow
Member
Member # 4545
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

i was the nice mod earlier...

that was the last straw in a short history of disrespectful inflammatory posts...


FLAMING & ATTACKING: Please refrain from attacking another member, publicly or by using the SI.com Private Message feature


GENERAL STATEMENTS: Please refrain from making statements that generalize gender, WS/OP/BS, race, religion or political alignment

and of course there is the issue of religion we addressed earlier...

4 out of five of your posts are against rather simple and specific guidelines

buh bye


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.- Matt Groening
"I've found the secret to life. I'm ok when everything is not ok"- Tori Amos lyrics

Posts: 56712 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: canuckistan
tputer
Member
Member # 11353
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Wow! No way that guy was for real. Mods, you allude to the fact that we regular posters' don't see a fraction of the crap you have to deal with.

I'm a believer.

(((Hugs))) to our wonderful mods, so sorry you guys have to be subjected to such absolute and utter garbage. indeed.

[This message edited by tputer at 5:14 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


Me FBH/WS: 48
FWW/BW (JP12861): 48
Married 25 years
Kids: 2 DD's 24, 20
My DDay: 7/16/06
Hers: 4/5/10

Posts: 20518 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: San Diego Area
KSA2
Member
Member # 9474
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Oh, he was actually a calm one, tputer.

Honestly, I wish people would understand that this guideline has fuck-all to do with being politically correct, and everything to do with the fact that there are very few moderators here and these subjects have nothing to do with this board and would in the long run take over the board and take up every last second of our time.

There is no such thing as a civil extended political or religious debate. The subjects do not lend themselves to civility, but to high tempers and emotions.

There are boards out there just for that activity. This isn't one of them. It's really that simple.


No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

Posts: 29360 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Mod Dungeon
porcupine
Member
Member # 7543
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Wow. Some people are so full of themselves the shit is just pouring out at the seams.

Mods, you are amazing for putting up with such ludicrous and ignorant crap on a daily basis.

I just wish I had a mod button to shut those people up in real life too


The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.

Posts: 4271 | Registered: Jul 2005 | From: Belgium
Defiance
Member
Member # 8265
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Do you think that perhaps his username indicates how he feels about himself?

That was a mercifully short membership here.

Thank you, mods. We owe you.

-Defiance


Success is not measured by what you accomplish but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.

Posts: 25371 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: The Great State of New Jersey, USA
unabletocope
Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Thank you, mods! You are all the best!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
cantlivewithouth
Member
Member # 11939
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

What I want to know is was that the record for the shortest membership?????

Mods you guys rock!!!!! If I had to put up with a fraction of what you do everyday and still work and have a life I'd go insane! I think I better write my second donation check tonight!


Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.

My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.‎


Posts: 40985 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Canada by way of Virginia
runoverbytruck
Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

No.....you won't.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
usedup
Member
Member # 11701
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

ok I found it
you rock
and I have to echo puter
ya all know my beliefs and I don't see much on here,but whatever ya'all take to keep this going,I applaude you for it,I'd have told him to my irish hillbilly unpolitically correct arse
but you did a much better job with just a couple words
applause-whistle-woohooo

Posts: 15831 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: found
not_a_martyr
Member
Member # 9518
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

I'd never go so far as to generalize, but there's a reason I have *issues* with religious folks like Mr. Right. He's a shining example, isn't he?

[This message edited by not_a_martyr at 8:19 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)]


me: 40
him: 38
us: in R


Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Texas
still confounded
Member
Member # 7826
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, September 4th (Tuesday)

Oh, man. You guys are so patient.
You make me feel so grateful for your long-suffering wisdom.
I'm sending you another check.
It is the LEAST I can do to thank you for clearing the deck of that upchuck that dude kept heaving all over the place.
Peeeeyew!


"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: up the river, NY
LetDownMan
Member
Member # 17160
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, December 21st (Friday)

Interesting that such a thread has encouraged so many posts.

I am a non believer, but still have the motto "LIVE AND LET LIVE". This of course only applies to BSs.

I wish you all as happy a christmas as is possible. (obviously only those who believe in it!!!!!)


Divorced finalised on 4th September 2009, which was interestingly enough our 11th wedding anniversary.

Posts: 5594 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Germany, Europe..lol
snowflake
Member
Member # 17321
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, January 1st (Tuesday)

Wow I just read that whole thing. What an education.

We all know that it is possible to speak of religious ideas w/o offending. It is a matter of perspective. I have strong beliefs, but don't ever think I have an excuse to call names.

Anyway, what I see is that sometimes people of like faith want to see how those who believe the same as they believe dealt with certain situations. The advice is then given in the framework of like morals and standards.

Anyway, had a great time reading all this.


Me 51
Spouse 49
M 24 years
Road to R is bumpy and outcome is uncertain
Kids 20 and 17

Posts: 130 | Registered: Dec 2007
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, February 25th (Monday)

Posting this in here...this was originally announced on February 22nd, 2008.

****************************
We are implementing a Zero Tolerance policy regarding *any* political mention.

This means:

No Names
No Jokes
No Polls
No Debate Questions (whether infidelity related or not)

Zero. Nada. Zilch. No mention of politics or of political candidates at all.

We do not have time to Moderate politics on an Infidelity site. There are thousands of political message boards, we encourage you all to go there if the spirit moves you to want to discuss politics.

Breaking the Zero Tolerance rule = losing your Profile.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
hatinlyfe
Member
Member # 18539
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

I really like this feature here, it's nice that we can remain focused on the issues that are bad enough which we can relate to rather then having to deal with issues that separate us. I'm glad to see this as a new memer

Posts: 55 | Registered: Mar 2008
drowninginsorrow
Member
Member # 4545
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, March 18th (Tuesday)

as mentioned just above this by DS:

Breaking the Zero Tolerance rule = losing your Profile

seriously people


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.- Matt Groening
"I've found the secret to life. I'm ok when everything is not ok"- Tori Amos lyrics

Posts: 56712 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: canuckistan
Celerygal
Member
Member # 18264
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, April 10th (Thursday)

Wow - I'd never gone in here before. Wow. Why don't some people get it? In spite of this one subject (infidelity) that we have in common, we are not all the same and we don't have the time/space here to debate those other issues. Your board is focused on this issue (again, infidelity). Thanks for standing your ground and not letting the site get all cluttered up & off-topic, Mods.

Posts: 133 | Registered: Feb 2008
Mango
Member
Member # 6536
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

One of the things I cherish most about thi site is the no politics or religion bashing. People are hurting bad enough without debating politics. Thank you DS and Co.

Posts: 1342 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: South Texas
sickwith4kids
Member
Member # 16585
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, June 16th (Monday)

Does anyone happen to know of a christian site that helps deal with infidelity? I actually love to hear about how the Bible and scripture helped people and if that is not tolerated then I would like to find a new site that would allow it. I have found help here but I need Christ in my life. I would never bash somebody for their beliefs on here but I sure would like to be able to be open with mine. I just feel sometimes it helps to hear the positive spiritual stuff and I couldn't imagine being offended by it if it is meant to help.


me (BS)-34 Him (FWH)-35
married 11 years (together 14)

DDay 10/07/2007
trickle truth for one month
kids S-9 D-7 S-5 D-2
...because it was us baby way before them and we're still together. ~REO Speedwagon~


Posts: 350 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: Ohio
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, June 16th (Monday)

Please see this thread in the I Can Relate forum

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=158514


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
melbourne
Member
Member # 4059
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, September 6th (Saturday)

I've never read through this entire thread before but now that I have...here is my Paypal donation for another $25.00, along with a bottle of virtual wine and my sincere thanks. (Did you notice that the virtual wine bottle was virtually empty, BTW? <hic>

Posts: 948 | Registered: Apr 2004 | From: midwest
DoneThat
Member
Member # 23040
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, April 28th (Tuesday)

I was just looking this over. I didn't write that. ??

[This message edited by DoneThat at 8:06 AM, December 21st (Tuesday)]




Posts: 923 | Registered: Feb 2009
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, April 29th (Wednesday)

]"It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

What does this really mean to you?

I'm not sure who you're asking...but it means...

To not take revenge, instead, leave room for Gods wrath.

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 12:31 PM, April 29th (Wednesday)]


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
Clarrissa
Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, May 3rd (Sunday)

First time I've read this thread and I think the mods are right. This site is not for the discussion of politics or religion. Those have always been incendiary topics. While I do believe in a higher power, call it God, Allah, or even Big Juju, how one relates to this higher power is probably one of the most personal things you can think of. While it's nice to discuss this topic with like-minded people it's not our place to shove our views and beliefs down others' throats. I believe the Bible says something to the effect that if you spread the message in a town and no one wants to listen, then go on to another place. To me this says "If they're not interested, then don't waste your time" or a sentiment to that effect. I know I mentioned the Bible and I hope this doesn't break the Zero Tolerance Rule concerning religion. It was not to spark any kind of debate. I was merely saying that one of the "Good Books" (I believe the Torah and the Koran are also "good books" with much in common) basically says you really don't have the right to proselytize especially after you were shown or told not to. Faith is a great thing. It's helped many people move past traumatic events in their lives such as infidelity and death and to me all faiths are about the same thing (religion is a different matter but I'm not going to get into that). Faith is the belief that there is a higher power that is looking out for every one of us, is interested in how our lives are going and yes, even testing us to see what we're truly made of. There is no proof of this higher power but that's the definition of faith: beliving something without a shred of proof. I think *faith* has a place here, not religion.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5860 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
BrokenBrianne
New Member
Member # 24025
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, May 18th (Monday)

Hi. I am new and this is my first post...so forgive me if this was brought up already. Does this include talking about the book..The Love Dare..and the movie Fireproof? I am actually not religious but feel these are both very helpful for me so far. I watched the movie and just started the book. The movie helped wake both me and the H up a bit. I now see what problems we were having before the infidelity and continue to have....I am hoping the book will help change that.

[This message edited by BrokenBrianne at 7:06 AM, May 18th (Monday)]


Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Louisiana
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, May 18th (Monday)

Does this include talking about the book..The Love Dare..and the movie Fireproof?

We only ask that religious debates are not started


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
Shattrdfairytale
New Member
Member # 24049
Default  Posted: 2:13 AM, June 28th (Sunday)

I just want to thank the mods immensely for keeping religion and politics out of here. This site has helped me get through the day most days and if I had to put up with being called a godless communist (godless yes communist no), I wouldn't be able to stay. So thank you so much for making this forum a place for everyone not just believers.
btw iamsorry- Awesome post!!!


BS (me) - 36
FWH - 34
DD- 11
M-11/17/01
Dday- 5/08
R - 6-25-08

Posts: 24 | Registered: May 2009 | From: California
catwoman999
Member
Member # 5524
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, October 23rd (Friday)

Infidelity tests core beliefs. Religion is part of that. It should be fair ground.

After the affair and PTSD, my faith in a higher being collapsed. I realized it is important to have faith in what is real: love, integrity, and goodness that show themselves in actual human beings, however flawed.

This was a vital part of my recovery and should be tolerated here.


If you live long enough, you experience betrayal from both sides. If you learn, you steer clear. D-Day 6-16-04. We learned.

Posts: 291 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: san francisco
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 9:44 AM, October 24th (Saturday)

Catwoman99...

No one said religion couldn't be discussed. What was said that religion wouldn't be debated...big difference.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
catwoman999
Member
Member # 5524
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, October 24th (Saturday)

oh, I see. thanks for the clarification.


If you live long enough, you experience betrayal from both sides. If you learn, you steer clear. D-Day 6-16-04. We learned.

Posts: 291 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: san francisco
where am i
Member
Member # 26064
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, November 1st (Sunday)

i thought i understood. but now i am confused. religion can be discussed, just not debated? maybe you mean mentioned and not debated? because a discussion about religion is going to be a debate in some way (politics, too)

anyway....i'm leaving them both out.

playin' it safe.


i know there's a balance, i see it when i swing past.

Posts: 64 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: WESTERN NEW YORK
Lostdale
Member
Member # 28680
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, June 6th (Sunday)

I was raised Catholic but as far as I can see, religion has been the problrm with us. I don't have to tell you how many people have been killed over the centurys believing THEIR GOD WAS THE TRUE GOD. You already know. The pain that a God puts on it's people, death, desease, famin, floods, wars, ETC,ETC, now you know why I don't believe anymore,and neither should you.


Me,58 WW,53 2DDays two son's---24+30 No one kows what it's like to be the sad man,behind blue eyes--The Who

married 31 years, some good


Posts: 179 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Pa
Pansy Moss
Member
Member # 30030
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, March 24th (Thursday)

I just read through this. It's a no brainer. I'm a religious Catholic but dang, I don't go to PTA meetings and start religious debates. I might say "yeah, we just had pizza tonight because it's Friday", but that's entirely different then "here I am once again amidst these neo-pagans..." That's silly.
I have very, strong and rigid religious beliefs. I cannot fully cut off a giant part of my cultural identity when expressing myself at times. But my beliefs are about me and my private relationship with God, not about
finding ways to bludgeon or
manipulate others.


~Pansy Moss 41 (BS)
~FWH 40 LostGuy73
wife of 19 yrs
Mom of 7 (dd 20,ds 18,ds 14,ds 11, ds 9,dd 7,ds 4)
Last D-Day 10.2.09
Separated
"LOVE is not blind; that is the last thing it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is bl

Posts: 680 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Amsterdam, NY
dday420
Member
Member # 32133
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 16th (Monday)

Can we start a new thread for prayer? This one is full:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=158514


For better or for worse

Infidelity is a choice. There is no justification.


Posts: 95 | Registered: May 2011 | From: socal
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, May 17th (Tuesday)

dday...

There is a current thread in on page 1 of the ICR forum.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=339319


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196472 | Registered: May 2002
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 28th (Wednesday)

why purple?


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14812 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, September 28th (Wednesday)

fat fingers.. so sorry!


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14812 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
hitbytruck
Member
Member # 29647
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, January 12th (Thursday)

wow....just found this thread. not even going there.

thanks for keeping this out of SI for the most part.


Posts: 52 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: philadelphia, pa
Clarrissa
Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, March 18th (Sunday)

Just reread this thread and still stand by what I said in my last (only) post here: faith has a place here, religion does not.

I have faith but religion I can do without. How one relates to a (or the) higher power is individual and highly personal and, quite frankly (IMO) no one else's business.

Thank you again to all the mods for keeping this topic off the boards.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5860 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
ShyViolet
New Member
Member # 35111
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, March 20th (Tuesday)

Does this include venting about religious ideas while venting about my situation?

Posts: 1 | Registered: Mar 2012
LonelyHusband
Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, August 29th (Wednesday)

These forums are so much the better for this rule.

Just wanted to voice my support.


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
716dayslost
Member
Member # 11536
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, October 1st (Monday)

Perfect example of why the no politics rule is universal and all encompassing...

A thread is going on about a (former) politician that I want to reply to, but will not. Why? Because a while I ago I posted about a different (former) politician and was admonished. Right now as I see see that thread I am wondering what I did wrong. I am not upset just confused.

But I support the mods and this is why. Allowing a little leads to this feeling and totally sidetracks from the real reason we are all here. Sure politics can give many fine learning tools, but it is simply too divisive.

I support the SI position and the mods, and really can't wait to get past November.

*edited to help 716

[This message edited by Deeply Scared at 6:57 PM, October 1st (Monday)]


You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground and I won't back down

Posts: 1556 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: New York
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

There is a fine line here between discussing politics and discussing political figures. I have no problem with someone bringing up something a political figure did if it relates to infidelity. However, politics and political issues do not belong here. There is enough other material to discuss. And I'm a political debate fanatic, I love it. But that's one rule I don't think I've ever broken here <amazingly>.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3686 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, January 1st (Wednesday)

hi.. i hope it's okay to ask this here... seems like it is....

i was raised without religion except for the fundamental values.

I dabble in things biblical from from a lay person's perspective and I have gotten as far as to consider myself a "Tolstoyan," and to explain, I quote Wiki: "Tolstoyans tend to focus more on following the teachings of Jesus, rather than on his miracles or divinity."

I have recently tried to understand the concepts of grace and truth from a biblical perspective and particularly how it relates to infidelity.

I don't even know what i'm asking but if I were to make "grace and truth" my "motto", what would that mean, exactly.

I'm getting lost online with complex theology!

thanks so much for anyone who knows about this and can help with my understanding. I think I like holding Grace and Truth as one of my Motto's but then i started reading about the Paradox of Grace and Truth and I got all confused.


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 5yr++ LTA. DDays 4/2013, 2/2014 true Jekyll Hyde. Planning escape from truly narcissistic abuser. Have ridden wicked emotional ride. Now teeter between disgust and abject pity.

Posts: 546 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
cosmicjoke
Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 5:02 AM, July 19th (Saturday)

Yes thank you mods! So many forums get overrun with that talk and while there's a lot of viewpoints I may respect (or, not).. I get sick of seeing it overrun every form of public discussion.. and there really is no room for that here. It's good to be able to have a place to get away from all that.. and keep things focused on the one topic we're really here to discuss.

Posts: 113 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 110