User Topic: I can't help it
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

I have had a Christmas fantasy this past week that my stbxh shows up at my house to talk to me.

I know it is a fantasy. It will never happen.

Christmas sucks this year. ugh.....

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

(((Gajit))) I am so sorry.

It sucks for me too.

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2707 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

((Gajit)). Sorry this is such a hard time time of year.

divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 41692
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

I'm right there with you. This is horrible. Plain horrible. Let's move on to January already.

"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

Posts: 208 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Right there with you. Just got back from cmas eve with my family. My one sister always makes family calendars.
This year she hands out the present and my anniversary isn't on it nor my STBXWH's bday. It seems with just a few clicks, the last 13 years are gone. That made me a little teary, Still hoping for a hallmark moment but I know it won't happen. Looking forward to January!

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

Right there with you Gajit, just left my house yesterday and I'm spending Christmas alone in a hotel.

But you know what? It's better than having the WS come by and mess your recovery. And you know it would.


Truly I understand it today.

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)

((((Gajit))))) That was how I felt just last year. It will suck this season. Take care of yourself and trust that the pain will recede. Where I am at emotionally this year is the exact opposite of last year and I expect it to get better every year from now on. It takes time but it can happen.

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 8