Topic: I'm back
Member # 30565
| Posted: 8:25 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
Hello, I was on this site frequently a couple years ago following wifes affair. She slept with at least two guys and when she was caught, she explained for what reason I don't know, that the guys were well endowed and caused her to have full body orgasms that she never had with me.
Well, two years later we are still together and to my knowledge she hasn't cheated again but is constantly wanting attention from other people, including guys. She is addicted to facebook and on there constantly, saying thinkgs about herself to get people to respond and make her feel good. We are arguing constantly and it is certainly not good for the kids. I just feel trapped in the relationship since we have 4 kids and neither of us could take care of them alone.
I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 38914
| Posted: 8:31 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
I'm not a relationship expert, but giving some advise makes me feel better. So, I would suggest you tell your wife to take a break off facebook. She can deactivate her account and come back later. Also, maybe the two of you can set up MC. It might help you guys!
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Member # 36146
| Posted: 8:39 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
I know I am in the minority but Facebook is not for mature adults--or at least not in the way that most use it,
Your wife's situation a good example of it. It's great for several things and a few situations, but for the most part it's just bad news. My opinion only and I know this isn't a debate about Facebook, but it's part of my response. So agree with the above poster, if she's using it for what you say she is and she has been outside the marriage in the past, it's a recipe for disaster and I think you are justified in requesting her to stay off until she gets herself back in check. Good of you to for see the trouble that lies ahead. Hopefully you nipped it in the bud.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 30565
| Posted: 9:04 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate them. As far as Facebook is concerned, I have asked her to scale back or take a break, but she doesn't even respond to such suggestions. I think she get so much enjoyment from posting what she is doing and thinking and then getting reassurance from others that she can't stop. It is a shame when people get a thrill about how many friends they have on facebook. What about real life and husband and family?
Posts: 33 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 34465
| Posted: 9:58 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
Hi hurt5. To some facebook is just external validation. Especially those who post really inane things, just to get an equally inane response.
It's a bit like this forum. If I get 8 responses to a question (aside from the brilliant help that 8 different perspectives gives me)it also gives me a lift (I have issues with self worth and I acknowledge that I have a problem with self validation). Perhaps this is where your wife is too and she can't see it? Regardless, if you have mentioned that it causes issues in your relationship and she is not willing to scale back or take a break then I agree with the others, some MC may be helpful.
Not sure my post has helped you at all but thanks for raising the issue. On a selfish level I'll be watching this post with interest.
You are responsible for your own happiness :)
Posts: 314 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 39911
| Posted: 11:36 PM, November 21st (Thursday)|
No good advice, just appreciating anew waywards giving "useful" information (like "full body orgasms").
Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
Posts: 179 | Registered: Jul 2013
|I think I can|
Member # 17756
| Posted: 6:13 AM, November 22nd (Friday)|
It sounds like your wife needs counseling.
I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.
Posts: 8788 | Registered: Jan 2008
Member # 14459
| Posted: 7:16 AM, November 22nd (Friday)|
How would she know the guys were well endowed until she was actually having sex with them? Men generally don't go up to women of interest and reveal they are well-hung. I think she just wanted to fool around and the penis size/orgasms is a really pathetic 'excuse'.
You have to beware of what your marriage is leading to. Your wife [who has very little respect for you], will start to cheat again; openly this time. Your sex life will come to an end and she will have regular boyfriends to provide excitement, sex and attention.
Your problem is how to stop this happening. Firstly quit arguing with her; its getting you nowhere and provides her with the resentment she needs to take the next step. Might as get along with her. If you wish you can leave the marriage when the last kid is in his teens, meanwhile don't give her an excuse to cheat with her Facebook contacts. You can't stop her unhealthy obsession with social media but you can make it difficult for her to commit further adultery.
Posts: 1689 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
|Topic Posts: 8|| |