SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I ask for NC
strawblond30
Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

No contact I asked ex to not text or FB message me. I usually cry to him about something , we both miss each other but he is a user and only misses me doing things. We are divorced I shouldn't care about him or snoop / stalk I cry every time I do,


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 953 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Block him on FB and also from SMS. Set up an email account just for communicating with him that can be vetted by a trusted third party (a sister or your best friend) so they only tell you about the parts you NEED to respond to and leave out all of the 'hoovering' crap.

Read about Hoovering here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=480828

Limbo is the worst. It is absolutely crazy-making. You can stay in the crazy dance or you can just stop.

Unfortunately it will never stop if you wait for him to stop - you have to be the one to do it. They will cake eat and rugsweep and gaslight us for exactly as long as we allow it.

It stops when you say it stops. Eventually you realise any contact (including snooping or letting people tell you stuff about him) brings more new hurts so you end up going NC to stop going through that hell all the time.

NC = No New Hurts. It sounds to me like you've had more than enough new hurts.

Keep reading, keep posting. We've all been where you are now. Life is so much better since I got control of myself and implemented strict NC.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 10:10 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5581 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

17 years is a long time. Give yourself all the time you need to heal and stick with NC.
Try and stay busy. It does help. Take up an old favorite hobby, or start a new one. We have some pretty awesome holidays coming up, Halloween is always great. Host a G2G...I am!
Just don't be too hard on yourself. It's going to take time, and lots of it from what I keep hearing.
Good luck!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2263 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 3