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simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, October 7th (Monday)

*Update #3*

Well, something good came out of yesterday. I received another email about my son from the university. They can do testing on learning disabilities as well as dyslexia. The cost is $500. Not too bad considering my son's pediatrician said it can cost up to $2000. The hard part will be finding that money. My husband doesn't believe there's anything wrong. He didn't even want to look at the paperwork I printed or even discuss it. I don't know how I can ask for that kind of money. Especially since he already has the Xbox One pre-ordered which costs $499. Sigh...

In my response to this email I gave him my phone number in case he needed to discuss anything in advance.

Wish us luck...

____________________________


*Update #2*

I received a response from my email. The person I contacted said that he is retired and no longer tests for dyslexia; however, he said the university still does and he knows some people in private practice that can help as well. In my response to him I asked about cost and told him that my son's pediatrician said that testing can run upwards of $2000. I asked for verification of this amount and told him that I'm unemployed. I hope going through the university is more affordable because there will be no way that I will be able to get my husband to pay for this because he doesn't even want to listen to my theories about our son possibly being dyslexic. Ugh...

I'm happy that I received a response and I feel I'm finally making some sort of progress.

___________________________


*Update*

I was getting my hair cut last weekend and I was talking to my hairdresser (she's dyslexic). She told me that she was tested at Boston's Children's Hospital, but for other reasons. She then told me that one of her clients had their child tested at a local university. She said it was years ago but it would hurt to check into it. So I did. There's an entire department the specializes in testing children for any and all types of learning disabilities. It didn't cost anything for her client to have her child tested. I'm preparing an email right now. I'm so excited just knowing that there is finally some help out there for my little man.


_________________________________


I don't even know where to start. I've had a feeling my son is dyslexic for a long time. I approached his 1st grade teacher and she said "no he isn't." His second grade teacher wanted him tested because he's "immature" and not doing his work. We switched his school at the end of his 2nd grade year. The testing (recommended by his 2nd grade teacher) came back that he did't need an IEP. I been asking and asking and ASKING his elementary school that he attended for 3rd and 4th grade to test him for dyslexia. I told them that if he has a problem with reading that it will trickle down to all of his other classes. Each time I asked I was blown off and said that they don't test for it or that "dyslexia isn't a disease and there's no cure for it." Well no FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK! When did I EVER say I thought it was a disease and that I wanted a cure? That's right, I NEVER SAID THAT!!

So, here we are in 5th grade. I spoke to his principal about not putting him in remedial math because in 4th grade he kept coming home with E's (Exceeds Grade Level Expectations - Equivalent to an A). I explained how my son does work over the summer in workbooks and he never needs help from me. He answers all the questions right when I check his work. The principal said that since because of what I just said that we'll keep him out for now but if he struggles in a regular class then we'll discuss putting him in later. Ok. That conversation sounded productive.

Today, I get a call from his teacher. She tells me that she's putting all of his grades (since 1st grade) in a database to see about having him tested. I AGAIN mention to her how I think he's dyslexic and that I want him tested for only that since he's already been through a battery of testing. We spoke for about a half hour and she didn't seem to receptive about the idea of him being dyslexic.

So for years I've had zero support (this includes my husband) about this. I've done so much reading and research about this, I see too many parallels that it's screaming at me and I can't seem to get the people, who claim to want to help children, to listen to me.

Some of the traits (I can't list them all) that my son is showing me are:

General

* Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, or spell at grade level.
* Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem." (I've heard this from a number of people including my husband)
* Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting. (As found out from the testing he went through)
* High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written. (I don't know about his IQ scores, but he doesn't test very well.)
* Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing. (Absolutely!! Because people are telling him he's lazy, not trying etc... including his father)
* Talented in art, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, building, or engineering.
* Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
* Difficulty sustaining attention; a "daydreamer."
* Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids. (He loves hands on projects.)


Math and Time Management

* Has difficulty managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time. (definitely! I've written down a morning routine that he has to follow and he does a good job following it)
* Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper. (Sometimes)
* Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math. (He's actually pretty good with the little algebra that they are introducing to him.)

Like I said, there's more. This is just a sample.

I'm pissed that this has gotten to this point and I'm also pissed that his father won't even take the time to read anything that I found out AND printed (and highlighted) and he didn't even read the report from the testing and had no idea that OUR son has low self-esteem.

All of this is staring everyone in the face and I'm the only one who can see it! The elementary school that he was in wasn't even allowed to use the word dyslexia. WTF!!! It's not contagious! All it is, is people with dyslexia (like Albert Einstein, Alexander Gram Bell, Thomas Edison) read with the right side of their brain instead of the left. They read and process the information differently.

As I'm tying this I'm reading a fascinating article from Jack Horner. He's a Paleontologist and is also a dyslexic. Did I ever tell anyone what my son wants to be when he grows up? He wants to be a paleontologist.

So, where do I go from here? How can I get him the help and testing that he needs? I just want to help my boy.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 8:48 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, October 7th (Monday)

Have you considered the possibility of ADHD? Some of the symptoms described are fairly classic and it is treatable.

Also, if you're not up for neuropsychiatric testing ($1500-2500) meds alone can provide a diagnosis, as approved by an appropriate care provider.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 20953 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, October 7th (Monday)

His pediatrician gave me and his teachers a survey for ADD/ADHD and he doesn't meet the criteria. That's another thing with dyslexics, that it can be confused for ADHD because they find ways to get the attention off of their struggles with reading.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, October 7th (Monday)

can you have his pediatrician refer him for testing?


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 7th (Monday)

I could, but the problem is that the school system keeps telling me that they don't test for dyslexia. When I look online to find out who is supposed to test for it everything says the school system.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Mommato4
Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, October 7th (Monday)

What about looking into a 504 plan? Slightly different than an IEP.

Does your school offer LAP? (Learning assistance program)
My son needed extra help with his reading as he was below standards and he went to this a few times a week during the reading time. His teacher did recommend it. He was in it for about half the school year when he improved and no longer needed it. They help for math too.


Updated 2014:
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SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1376 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, October 7th (Monday)

His pediatrician gave me and his teachers a survey for ADD/ADHD and he doesn't meet the criteria. That's another thing with dyslexics, that it can be confused for ADHD because they find ways to get the attention off of their struggles with reading.

I hear you. I would also get a second opinion from a neuropsychologist or child psychiatrist.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 20953 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, October 7th (Monday)

I would also get a second opinion from a neuropsychologist or child psychiatrist.
I completely agree with this.


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I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5770 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, October 7th (Monday)

Yup Neuropsychologist is who you need. You also need to be talking to the counselors, or LD teachers at the school, not his regular teacher. If they are unwilling to listen then go to the principal. It is inexcusable in this day and age for this to go unrecognized and treated.

He's in 5th grade, has he learned how to type yet? If not get him a program to help him learn, they have tons of them, and will allow him to become an excellent typist. This helps esp if there are components of both ADHD/ADD and Dyslexia.

ADD makes their little brains go to fast for their hands to keep up, and when they learn to type they can keep up. The other thing is you can finally read what they are writing.

He definitely has something going on. Do you have a Reading Specialist for your district? If so please reach out to that person. They can help you as well.

I feel your anger, and appreciate it, as I have BTDT. For myself and my kid. At least now the technology available allows them to manage it so much better.
I still see the dyslexia in things I do, esp when I am tired. Anything that is a mirror gets plugged in wrong. bd, pq E3. S5. I read very slow and still do, but I have managed to get through school, college, and accelerate in my profession. With the right help he will too.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
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Posts: 7843 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, October 7th (Monday)

You want answers for your little guy. Get his pediatrician involved.

It helped us immensely and we were able to approach his school with a plan.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, October 7th (Monday)

If you think it is simply dyslexia and not other more complicated issues (not that to minimize learning disorders, but that he does not have ADHD or other behavior problems) then a psychologist would be the person to see. They can diagnose learning disorders via testing. If you think there is something more complicated going on then it would be worth the money for a neuropsychologist, but not for a basic LD assessment.

The school district should do this, though, but they often won't. Are they using a Response to Intervention strategy? If he is also bright, he may well be compensating and not triggering their criteria, in which case outside testing will light a fire under them. But still be prepared to fight for interventions. School districts are notorious for not wanting to give accomodations.

[This message edited by peacelovetea at 4:33 PM, October 7th (Monday)]


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, October 7th (Monday)

Oops!

[This message edited by peacelovetea at 4:33 PM, October 7th (Monday)]


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
redrock
Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, October 7th (Monday)

Do you have a social worker that works in your district?

In MI, we do, and if and when I received blowback from teachers and or the school, I found it best to ask for a meeting alone with her. Often there would be a meeting with the teacher/principal scheduled following that one. You would be amazed at how different the 'tone' was when the social worker was in the room.

Not sure if she/he could help with testing, but I always got feedback and or in touch with the right people through the social worker. And she helped with the few teachers I dealt with that were uneducated on dealing with kids with additional issues/needs.


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Posts: 3151 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, October 7th (Monday)

I don't know about your "neck of the woods" but Dyslexia is no longer a term used to define a special education student with an IEP in Florida anymore.

Might I suggest that you stop asking for him to be tested for "Dyslexia" - which is an extremely narrow, outdated label and begin asking for him to be tested for a Specific Learning Disability - in the area of Reading.

This can include all the areas of reading where children usually struggle: Phonemic Awareness, Phonics, Vocabulary, Fluency and Comprehension.

Does he exhibit these symptoms only at school or do they bleed over into time at home?

If you think he might be ADHD you could always try a little "home test". The major component in most ADHD medications is a stimulant, similar to caffeine in coffee.

I have seen ADHD kids who aren't medicated respond to coffee to calm them down and help them focus. It's not conclusive or advisable long term, but you could give him a cup of coffee and see if that helps him focus.

Just some ideas to help you out.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
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R - he finally came home
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Posts: 24365 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 7th (Monday)

As others have pointed out, the school system is not the only place to get testing. See if your insurance will cover it -- it can be expensive -- if it's a referral from the PCP pediatrician. Also, you might check around for a psychologist or psychometrist who will charge on a sliding scale or give a discount for paying cash, if the cost is an issue.

FYI, a 504 is not any easier to get than an iep. My son has had both. He had the iep when he needed services and accommodation, and the 504 when he no longer needed services, but instead needed "just" the accommodation. Try to push all this through while he is still in elementary school. Middle schools can be more of a pain in the ass, although that does depend on the school and the principal.

If you are able to demonstrate the need for services and/or accommodation, press for the iep or 504, and be vigilant to ensure the school follows through. Even the school personnel with the most sincere good intentions will F it up because they just don't get it. (Not to t/j, but as an example, every year I go through several weeks of training the teachers to use a black marker on the whiteboard so that my son can actually see and read what they write. Fortunately it has been a couple of years since I have had to say "lawyer"!)

Good luck, this is frustrating! Keep good records, set up schedules, and email teachers w cc to counselor and asst principal or principal regularly. You will be known as a PITA, but so what, that's your job, mama bear!


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 841 | Registered: Sep 2012
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, October 7th (Monday)

You have a PM


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Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Chrysalis123
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Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, October 7th (Monday)

Might I suggest that you stop asking for him to be tested for "Dyslexia" - which is an extremely narrow, outdated label and begin asking for him to be tested for a Specific Learning Disability - in the area of Reading.

This..

And, read the special ed laws for your state. Find out exactly what you need to do to start the process, do it, and document everything.

Good Luck


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2609 | Registered: Jan 2010
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Chrysalis is right -- document everything. I send email after every meeting or phone call, w cc to all pertinent parties, to say "thanks for the productive meeting/call. Let me summarize to be sure I have it right... thank you again for your support for DS!" (yeah, ok, sometimes that is a big ol lie, but more flies with honey, right?)

BTW, each state has special ed laws, and each school district will have its own ways of complying with those laws and regulations, but ADA is a federal law and school districts cannot dick around w it (although they do if you are not wary and persistent -- ya know, a PITA!).

What state are you in?


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 841 | Registered: Sep 2012
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Thank you for all your posts and the pm.

My mom got another earful this morning. Thank god my daughter doesn't need any extra help because they can't even send home the order form for her pictures TOMORROW!! Seriously? What is wrong with people. So I spent my morning at her school. Ugh...

Anywho...

I'm in MA (which means he has to deal with the lovely MCAS testing that he'll have to pass in order to graduate high school ). I'll have to looked into the states laws about this. I do know that "dyslexia" had to be added back into the wording on the federal level, but not at the state level.

I also do not see how this is a "label." The schools and doctors don't seem to have an issue "labeling" kids with ADD/ADHD or even Aspergers. What's wrong with using the word dyslexia? From what I've read the people who have been tested and found out they are dyslexic don't have a problem with it. It seems to me that the schools/administrators are the people who have a problem with it, and I thought those were the people who would want to jump through hoops to help the children, not push back on the parents.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 9:18 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)

I would definitely look at the testing guidlines. There may be some component to it, that doesn't allow for special allowances, or carving out of the kids with that diagnosis.

Unfortunately Dyslexia alone is not a common diagnosis, and it isn't the current "in" thing at the moment. Autism is.
Here is a thought....Have you suggested that you feel there is "something wrong with your son" and feel he needs the full testing they provide for kids that fall along the "autism spectrum"?

I know you aren't focusing on dyslexia, but I do believe that the workup/testing for the whole spectrum includes all LD's, including dyslexia.

I would definitely approach the counselors, the principal, and if you get push back take it to the admin level.

If your kid is in public school they should be following guidelines. You should have someone in the district that is a "Literacy Coordinator" as well. This would be the person to reach out to. I have friend that is this for the district, and she has all kinds of special training, and knows all levels of testing. If you can find someone like this, even outside your district, it may be worth asking them if they would be willing to perform the testing for a fee.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7843 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
all_torn_up
Member
Member # 13584
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)

I feel your pain. I had the same issues with the school system not helping my sons (they are now 13 and 16) because they weren't technically "failing".

You son sounds somewhat like my 13 year old. He has visual processing problems. It is hard to catch, especially by schools, because his eyesight is ok and always passed the eye tests they gave him. He is VERY bright but would make "careless" mistakes with math and writing. I finally had him tested by a developmental ophthalmologist between 2nd and 3rd grade because he was struggling so much. They told me they were shocked he could read at all. His tracking abilities were so horrible the machine could hardly follow his eye movements. His visual teaming and discrimination is extremely poor as well. They school would never have been able to catch these issues. OT's at school will do some tests for visual issues but they are not very thorough. You will also get different results from different OT's so it can really depend on who you have evaluate your kid. Sad but true unfortunately. We ended up doing vision therapy with him for awhile through an outside source.

These are some of the signs although it can present in other ways as well;
May be inattentive to visual tasks or appear easily distracted by too much visual stimuli.
The individual appears restless or inattentive during video or visual presentations, may be disinterested in movies or television.
May exhibit difficulty with tasks that require copying (ex. taking notes from a board) and written copies may be missing words or shapes, exhibit reversals or inversions.
Often cannot remember even basic facts about material read silently
Complains of eye strain or frequently rubs eyes (despite no presence of poor eye sight)
Below average reading or written level coupled with high oral comprehension and verbal skills
Math skills may be demonstrated below average, individual may ignore function signs, omit steps or confuse visually similar formulae.
Routinely fails to observe or recognise changes in bulletin board displays, signs, or posted notices.

Just food for thought. If your gut says something is not right about your son, keep looking and fighting. I work in Special Ed for my elementary school district. I know how hard they fight NOT to test these kids.

[This message edited by all_torn_up at 11:22 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


Me 45-BS,Him 47-ws,FWH had PA started end of 3/05 DDay 4/23/05 when I discovered emails NC as of 6/8/05,discovered the truth about the last major lies on 3/26/06
10/10 Dday new OW EA texts/phone calls

Posts: 138 | Registered: Feb 2007
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Thank you for this! This could be another option to look into.

Why don't the schools want to help these kids? It doesn't make sense to me.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)

Dyslexia is not in the DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the mental health world's diagnostic guide) -- the diagnosis is "Specific Learning Disorder" with a specifier of in Reading, Writing, or Mathematics. I don't believe dyslexia has ever been an official diagnosis there, and is only one of the types of reading disorder possible under this heading, which is more broad.

The ICD, or International Classification of Disorders (what insurance companies use), calls it Reading Disorder. Again, a larger umbrella for various reading problems.

The schools often use yet another set of language for it, generally calling it "specific learning disability" and using particular language from state or federal guidelines. Check your state website for the Office of Special Education to find the terminology they use. In my state, there are specific guidelines for how to request testing and legal deadlines for them to follow once you do that. Here it has to be in writing and they have 30 days to set up a meeting.

Schools are reluctant because it costs them a lot of time and money -- once you officially start a kid down this path there is a lot of paperwork and monitoring that needs to be done, and if the perception is that he is doing "fine" by grade standards, then they will be reluctant to take it on, given how overwhelmed they are already usually. They worry about kids who are falling behind grade level and not getting every kid to their full potential -- that's their mandate, really. So its not surprising, and I have a hell of a lot of respect for teachers who are managing so many kids and their individualized issues -- but as a parent it is intensely frustrating because we DO want the best for our kids of course.

Be persistent and find out how to speak to them in their language and what systems they are using (Response to Intervention or the discrepancy model, for instance) so you can play the game. If you know someone with a child with an IEP they can be a good resource for navigating the system, or if you get outside testing done they can help you too. Good luck.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
all_torn_up
Member
Member # 13584
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

this>>>
Schools are reluctant because it costs them a lot of time and money -- once you officially start a kid down this path there is a lot of paperwork and monitoring that needs to be done, and if the perception is that he is doing "fine" by grade standards, then they will be reluctant to take it on, given how overwhelmed they are already usually.
Is very true. Schools, at least around here, are having budgets slashed constantly. Having a child with a 504 or IEP generates a lot of time, paperwork and money for the school system. Schools are hyper focused on standardized test scores so unless your kid is truly failing and dragging down their scores, they seem to be reluctant to step in. School systems are not evil entities, they are usually just underfunded, overwhelmed with elected school board members who have no knowledge or understanding of education making decisions for us. It can be frustrating as a parent as well as an employee.

You know your child best. Be his advocate and keep pushing and speaking up.


Me 45-BS,Him 47-ws,FWH had PA started end of 3/05 DDay 4/23/05 when I discovered emails NC as of 6/8/05,discovered the truth about the last major lies on 3/26/06
10/10 Dday new OW EA texts/phone calls

Posts: 138 | Registered: Feb 2007
scaredyKat
Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, October 9th (Wednesday)

Dyslexia is a medical term, not an educational term. If his grades and test scores are consistent with his IQ scores there will be no discrepancy between the two and he will not be eligible for special education and/or funding. Many true dyslexics learn to read despite their brain differences,they compensate in ways we don't understand. ADD medications often help again, in ways we don't understand.
BTDT. It's extremely frustrating...


Me-BS-60-Can't tell you how painful it was to change this number!
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3289 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

Many true dyslexics learn to read despite their brain differences,they compensate in ways we don't understand.

Yep, the world of us Dyslexics would look very strange to everyone else.

I know what word is more because of 'this is what its SUPPOSED to be' rather then, this is what it IS.

Like a colorblind person - they may not see the green, but what they do see they understand as green....something like that.

I did fantastic in school because I learned quickly that what I saw and what was true were not the same. I compensated and got through.

But man is it frustrating! I thank my 7th and 8th grade teacher for catching on so fast and for accomdating me. It was a blessing. She allowed me to write things down so that i could process them, because trying to spell a word out of my head never ever works.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1694 | Registered: Sep 2012
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, October 9th (Wednesday)

You may want to check in your area and see if you can hire a Parent Advocate who can go into the schools and help you navigate the "red tape" of testing/IEP's.

I don't know if they have them up there...

I seriously considered starting my own Parenting Advocate service for this very reason.

As an ESE (special ed) teacher I am often frustrated on behalf of the parents and I have always felt they deserve someone to help them thru this process.

I always try to take care of my parents as well as my students.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24365 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I posted an update in my first post.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Yay! GREAT update. Fingers crossed that they can help you and your son.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24462 | Registered: Aug 2011
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Glad to hear you can get the testing done!

Regarding standardized tests: the school has to accommodate for them, which is why you want to get the 504 or IEP and get language in there about the testing accommodation. (For example, the standardized tests my son takes are often not accessible visually -- so the school or the state, whoever is requiring the test, has to create an accessible version for him. I made sure it has language about minimum font size, legibility, etc. I mean, be as specific and comprehensive as possible -- I make sure there is a good overarching statement -- "text on testing materials must be legible and of high contrast. Black ink on white or light paper, font size XX, no sans serif fonts. Other adjustmnets to testing materials may also be necessary.")

The school must review the 504 or IEP periodically and they have to review it if you request a review more frequently than the scheduled review.

Regarding schools not wanting to get students on 504 or IEP: understandable, but illegal. A key component of the federal law is "child find," which mandates that states are REQUIRED to look for students with disabilities/needing accommodation. So if they are ignoring, give them a kick. Here is a very clear explanation of child find, and this website as a whole is readable and helpful:

http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/special-education/child-find/

Good luck!


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 841 | Registered: Sep 2012
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

Keep in mind that there are other processing disorders too - like CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder) that can be diagnosed and can have some of the effects that you describe.

Some of these processing disorders, from what I have seen (and especially when occuring pre-teen) seem to be 'markers' for other issues such as Bipolar or ADHD or ODD that seem to manifest themselves somewhat later. I'm not saying that's the case here, just an observation for others who may be reading.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 20953 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

SD,

I didn't read the entire thread yet but I had to reply. My son is also in 5th grade is the poster child for dyslexia. My school system does not test for it either and we've been through testing for everything but dyslexia. My BH also has dyslexia.

DS has been dx with ADHD and Irlen's syndrome (look this up, the lenses have helped).

I just recently discovered that I can get him evaluated for dyslexia at a university a few hours from us...for about $2600 for three appointments.

I met with the principle, counselor, speech therapist and his teachers last year to see about what help he can get and was told that even with Irlen's, ADHD, and a diagnosis of dyslexia (obtained at our expense) he will not qualify for an iep because he isn't failing.

I have been researching summer programs for dyslexia and even thinking of moving our family or looking into boarding schools (don't know if I could really do this) in the future so we can get him in a program designed for his needs. Home school is a possibility but he really needs to continue practicing social skills (desperately) so I fear that wouldn't be best for him.

I'm at a loss too. I'm going ahead with the dyslexia evaluation at the university but have do idea how to get the help he needs after that.

ETA: The evaluation is for learning disabilities/differences, not only dyslexia...

[This message edited by knightsbff at 4:20 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1394 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

The child does not have to be failing in order to qualify for a 504 or an IEP. My child is academically gifted. He still has had accommodation because he has a disability which can make it more difficult to learn, or which can make it difficult to access the learning environment (to use the lingo...)

I would start saying lawsuit if anyone told me that my child could not be accommodated because they weren't failing. Documented disability and/or need for accommodation / services, they have to comply. This really chaps my ass.

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 8:39 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 841 | Registered: Sep 2012
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

The child does not have to be failing in order to qualify for a 504 or an IEP.

Ditto to this. Both my kids have 504 plans and both are honor roll students with high IQ's. They both have medical disabilities.

One child has issues that "impact their abilities to learn and attend school", the other child her disability "interferes, at times, with her ability to function in the classroom". Neither has a learning disability. Both have different accommodations.

Good luck! It's quite a learning process, still very much ongoing here.

-JD


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2780 | Registered: Feb 2006
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, October 24th (Thursday)

My school system does not test for it either and we've been through testing for everything but dyslexia. My BH also has dyslexia.

You would think that since your husband also has dyslexia that your son would automatically be tested. All the reading that I've done online from dyslexia sites say the school system has to test for it. My son's pediatrician told us that the school system has to test for it.

Thank you for all the tips and links. It is comforting to know that I'm not the only one battling a school system.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, October 24th (Thursday)

This is the email I just sent to the university.

Dear Dr. XXX,

My name is simplydevastated. I have a ten year old son who I feel has dyslexia. I have spent countless hours researching this and I've seen too many parallels to ignore it. My son struggles with some of his school work and I have been trying to talk to his teachers and two different school systems since he was in first grade to only hear from them that "they don't test for dyslexia" and "he doesn't have it."

I have been referred to XXX university from an acquaintance who told me that there is a department on campus that can test for dyslexia as well as other possible learning disabilities which is how I came to your department's website. I'm hoping that you can either help me and my son or at least point us in the right direction so that I am able to get him the help that he needs.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this email.

Sincerely,

SD.

Unfortunately, I when I posted the message here I just caught a few typos and now I feel silly for sending a message with typos to a Ph.D


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, October 28th (Monday)

Bumping for second update


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, October 28th (Monday)

Glad you're making progress.


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2780 | Registered: Feb 2006
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)

Thanks, me too.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

Bumping for third update


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5842 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, October 31st (Thursday)

Please use the link below to read the update thread.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=512375


Posts: 33995 | Registered: Mar 2011
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, October 31st (Thursday)

Locked per authors request.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 43990 | Registered: Sep 2006
Topic Posts: 42