User Topic: Feeling lousy. Why won't the world end?
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

These past two months have been horrible. My H has admitted to an EA. denies PA. I don't actually care. My first action was too file for D. The A - any type was a deal breaker for me. Then he had a serious car accident and has recovered well. He has done everything right since DDay and wanted to save our M. I was just emotionally dead. His stupid skank stalked me and I had to get a restraining order...
Two weeks ago my Mom died. I am just completely shattered at the moment.
I don't have the energy to deal with a D or my husband.
He has been absolutely supportive and wonderful. I still think he is a schmuck!
This week I don't have the energy to get out of bed- I booked off work for the first time since DDay.
I don't have the energy to do anything. All I want to do is be alone.
I don't even have the strength to continue with my D- H and I still live together.
I wish the world would end...

[This message edited by AStar at 11:49 AM, September 26th (Thursday)]

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
Getting to Happy
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

God Bless your Mom.

I hope that you can find some peace soon through your grief.

I am glad that your WH is at least behaving through this upheaval. 'Ol Schmuck better be waiting on you hand and foot!!

Take Care.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

Im so sorry for your loss.

You've had too much to deal with the last couple of months. Im so sorry.

You don't have to do anything. Not today. Not tomorrow. Just *be.*


FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7756 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

((((AStar)))) I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost mine many years ago. And for months I kept wondering how the world was still here. Peace and strength to you.

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9771 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

God bless you and many hugs to you. Thank you for posting here as we all are supportive in your journey.

Sometimes life is just one big bullet pointed at you. I'm going through LOTS right now myself. Sometimes I'm on the floor crying out to God. Other times, I wonder how I made it another day.

BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 26th (Thursday)


I'm so sorry for your loss and all of the other devastating things you are going through.

Take good care of yourself. Emotionally and physically. If you need to hibernate for a couple of days, then do it, but try to go out for a walk or call a friend to help you pull out of your funk. It takes time, but there are good days and there are bad days. One day your good days will outnumber your bad days.

Are you in IC? It takes time to start feeling stronger.

Sending you hugs.

[This message edited by NewMom0220 at 12:30 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 374 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

Thank you for the courage to admit the feeling. I have thought that same thought many times and never had the courage to say it out loud to anyone except my H.

You are very new at this and the ride has just started. The highs will come and the lows will also hit at the most puzzling times.

I once compared the time after dday to walking in a valley. Some run through as fast as they can just to get out and never look back. Others crawl through, absorbing every pain, looking down in the dirt as they drag along. I think I am walking slowly, looking at everything on the way, and once in a while, I have to walk backwards to look at something again before i move on again. The key is to make forward progress at your own pace, doing whatever you need to get through this and be as healthy as possible on the other side.

We are here to cheer you and cry with you wherever you are.

[This message edited by Lovedyoumore at 1:59 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I'm so sorry about your Mom, your H, and life sucking in general right now.
I hope you have a good friend or relative to offer you comfort these next few months.
I understand too. One of my dearest friends found out she had terminal liver cancer about 3 weeks after DDay. She passed less than 2 months later. I was devastated. I hope with time and care you again be happy.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2358 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I am so sorry on the loss of your mom.
Right now you are getting hit with a lot of life. Keep your head up, do what you can, take care of yourself.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
sinsof thefather
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mum AStar. Let your H carry the weight of the household duties right now - just let him support you as much as he can - you can decide what you want to do long term about your marriage once you feel a little stronger. For now, let him help and just try to concentrate on looking after yourself. (((Hugs)))

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1890 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, September 26th (Thursday)


I am very sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my dad within a couple of months of finding out about my husband's infidelity. It just seems to be too much to bear at times.

I will be thinking of you and wishing for you peace and strength.

Take care of yourself!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, September 26th (Thursday)

(((((AStar))))) Sending you strength and comfort, honey. Hang in there.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, September 27th (Friday)

Thank you all for your support.
It really means the world to me.

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
Topic Posts: 13