User Topic: 3 years ago today dday
Member # 30198
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

Yup, it has been 3 years already for me. First year was hell. Second year was hell-lite and the third was just plain misery. Separation agreement should be finalized any day now, divorced a year from that, stbxww moves to her new house with our kids beginning of December. Twas always a deal breaker for me, tried to stay for the kids sake but I didn't factor in how miserable I would be....hence the separation/divorce.

I don't really feel any better for trying to stay with the WW, but I don't regret the extra time living in the same house with my girls.

So its off to divorce/separation forums and at some point new beginnings....just an update for those at the onset of a infidelity situation similar to a wise member here often says "affairs kill marriages" which was true in my case, but I wish those of you that are trying to R the best of luck, it takes two very strong people to recover from this crap. (thanks to this site I did survive infidelity, it was just my marriage that didn't)

BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 707 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)

I am one month behind you on the Dday 10/29/10. We never forget.

By far the very worst experience of my life. Thankfully, we are in successful R and are in a better place.

You obviously gave it your all but understandable infidelity IS a deal breaker for so many.

I hope that you find true happiness as you venture on to another chapter in your life.

[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 10:19 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)]

ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.

Posts: 2122 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

I am sorry that reconciliation didn't work for you, daddio. How are your girls taking it? Do you have liberal visitation or shared custody?

It was good that you gave reconciliation a shot. It is also good for you to realize that you shouldn't have to be miserable. I really find it so sad here when some are so miserable in their marriages but they refuse to end it for any number of reasons.

Best of luck on your new journey!

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9796 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, September 26th (Thursday)

"affairs kill marriages"

UO says this all the time - in fact, expands it to say that is what affairs are meant to do. I believe her. Sorry things didn't work out for your daddio. Best of luck in your NB.

Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 30198
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

By far the very worst experience of my life.

I would agree....

SM....We haven't told the girls yet, waiting until after the youngest birthday to tell them, don't want her to associate her birthday with the divorce news. I work shift work so she is getting physical custody and I am getting every other weekend and liberal visitation.

Tred...I was quoting UO, she is spot on with that saying!

BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 707 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, September 28th (Saturday)

Best of luck in your new life. I am coming up on three years in December, and although it is still tough, I know we will make it.
I am so sorry that your wife's decision caused the break up of a family, but for every act there are consequenses. Too bad they never think about that at the time.

Have a wonderful life and enjoy your kids.

Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1319 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Topic Posts: 6