SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: A Happy Story - 30 Years!
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

Since I doubt I will be on SI on Labor Day…just wanted to share some happy news.

This Monday, September 2 – FWH and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary! We’re taking an extended weekend(a.k.a. “staycation”) and spending time with each other – visiting some local attractions, riding our bikes, taking in a movie & dinner, just doing fun, non-expensive things – and taking some time to spend with the kids and grandkids.

Many wondered why we weren’t going to Hawaii or something like that for such a milestone anniversary. Well, for one, we cannot afford it, and two, it’s just not our cup of tea. We prefer the presence of our own company, and the company of our grown daughters and our beautiful grandchildren. This is the life we always wanted – even back in 1983 when we married. I was 18, he was 20 – but we both wanted the same thing – a family. The conception of my children was no accident or surprise…they were planned and if I had to do it all over again, I would in a New York minute.

Obviously since I am a member of this club, these 30 years haven’t always been easy. FWH’s infidelity began and ended in his 40s (a three-year issue out of 30 years…but it still hurt terribly, especially given our history together) – 20-some years into our marriage – something that completely blindsided me and gave me quite the case of PTSD.

We are fully reconciled, but know that R is a forever process for which we must be grateful every day. Five years ago, at the beginning of R, we renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary. We plan to do the same for our 30th – just a private renewal between he and I. No need for fanfare. We have learned over the years that we’re pretty simple people and he learned that he doesn’t have to impress people to be loved and accepted. Our marriage has definitely been a journey of growing up together and of learning – and some of those “lessons” almost cost us our marriage.

I am one of the lucky ones –as is FWH. My FWH “got it” – went to IC/MC faithfully, did a complete turnaround and I got my husband back – but a better one, because there were some FOO issues (from both sides of our families) for which we both needed guidance so he and I could bond through these instead of letting them tear us apart.

So raise your glasses (with whatever your choice of beverage) – and toast with us!

Lala & Mr. Lala


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

Cheers! *clink clink*

Congratulations on a job well done. And the continuation of your journey together.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6442 | Registered: Jan 2011
Silentthoughts
Member
Member # 40289
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

I'm so happy to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel! Congrats and have a great anniversary!


WW - early 50s (me)
BH - late 40s
3 grown children
Married 25 years
Online cyber sex dec 2010. I got caught late dec 2010. Lying and TT until full disclosure jan 2011.
In R we both are committed to staying in this M.

Posts: 76 | Registered: Aug 2013
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Congrats Lala and Mr. Lala!!

30 years is a milestone!!

Have fun enjoy your time together!


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3187 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Cheers to you, and thank you for this message of love and hope! Congrats!

Posts: 7047 | Registered: Dec 2010
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

So nice to hear a good story with a happy ending.
Congrats and enjoy your anniversary.

Posts: 1162 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Congratulations!

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21050 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
lordhasaplan?
Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

WONDERFUL!
So happy for the both of you.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1897 | Registered: Nov 2010
OnAnIsland
Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Tanti auguri! Congratulations to you both. Thank you for sharing this.


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1478 | Registered: Dec 2011
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

This is wonderful! Congratulations! It's so good to hear there can be happy outcomes in long term marriages that survive something as horrible as infidelity.

Best wishes to you both!


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1688 | Registered: Mar 2010
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

This is wonderful! Congratulations! It's so good to hear there can be happy outcomes in long term marriages that survive something as horrible as infidelity.

Best wishes to you both!


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1688 | Registered: Mar 2010
Cheatedon23
Member
Member # 37324
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Congratulations Lalagirl. Your story gives me hope.

My H and I will also be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary on September 3! We are going away just the two of us for a long weekend. We felt that since it has been less than a year since D day, we needed to spend some time alone. R has been going really well lately, and I can honestly say that I am excited about the trip.

Happy Anniversary!


Me: BS 51
Him: WH 52
D - 26; S - 23; S - 20

Married 31years, together 34
D-Day 1 - April 1, 2012
D-Day 2 - October 5, 2012
D-Day 3 - August 15, 2014
Heading towards Divorce


Posts: 86 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 12