User Topic: why is this funny to me? shock chuckles?
Member # 26894
Shutup  Posted: 4:12 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

two things have put me in a little physical/mental shock for the last few days. in some ways this post is more "fun" to write than the awesome thing i posted in NB. but it's fun in a twisted, twisted way.

first: i saw OC for the first time. i was with H, XH was in a hurry to catch a plane. i survived, but it did bug me in a nagging, background kind of way. H was awesome and supportive. we joked a lot about it like we always do. not the kindest jokes but somehow cathartic. having seen her, i finally saw myself have crappy feelings about her without having any towards her. she's a child. i've recognized her innocence all along, but her symbolism typically over powers that in my brain. anyway, i saw her. box checked. i can let that triggery thought go.

i'm grateful too because i saw a photo on fb from one of his family members the next day with DD4 and OC sitting in the ex-laws laps. i'm glad i'd seen her in person once.

that was last thursday.

second: today i found out from DD4, confirmed by asshat, that he and OW have another baby together. she was born in may. he and OW "aren't together anymore but are amicable." he's "focusing on being the best father [he] can be." ahem. (does he think the "best father" award goes to the one who fathers the most children? hmmm.)'s another twist for ya. OW has another baby, who was born the May before this latest one. that one is some ethiopian guy's kid. she started "dating" him when OC was born and she spent two months at her parents in ethiopia recovering, and when she left OC there for two years with them and came back to the states. apparently when OW went to retrieve OC last year, she birthed this ethiopian's kid that May. then Xasshat knocked her up sometime in aug/sep.

holeeeeey wtf. he still lives in my sister's basement.

one of his responses to my query (after hearing about all this from DD4) was "i figured she would have told you about all this already."

yeah. leave it to the 4 year old. she now has two half-sisters, at least by the same woman. what a fertile little turtle.

howz that for an update?

[This message edited by stretch13 at 8:51 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Wow. I guess noone informed her that there are ways to prevent that. I would have to send her a message that there is a thing called birth control!!!! Or maybe that is against her religion.

Sounds like your ex will have a lot of years of child support to go along with his stupid choices.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)


So, here I am sitting around whining about my Jerry Springer life. Stretch, ya got me beat!

And I have to say congrats on being able to see all this in a healthy way. You've come a long way, baby!

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

What a classy lady that OW must be. A kid by a married man, then a kid by another man and then another kid by the first man again with damn near back-to-back pregnancies? Nice.

"Momma's baby, Daddy's maybe" certainly fits in this scenario.

A person like your ex probably thought it made perfect sense that a 4-year old would update you on the sordid mess that is his life. After all, she's as at least as mature as he is.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

After all, she's as at least as mature as he is.


DD4s got him beat by a long shot. my bff had a one-word response - "vasectomy?"


and this ^^^

H and i have been doing that all day. i can't finish a meaningful sentence on the topic.

i asked him if it was true via text. my response to XHs "confirmation text" with the details in it was, "well ok then. thanks for the update."

life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Does he know HOW babies are made? Does SHE?

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

OW must not be much of a conversationalist......

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Oh for fuck's sake! Are you kidding me?!

What a picture perfect family they make.

Posts: 1274 | Registered: Oct 2009
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Not quite the usual "yours, mine and ours" situation, huh?

I have friends with 4 or more kids that get the "you do know what causes that, right?" Jokes about their broods. These kids are planned. Apparently your X and the OW really don't get it.

IMO it just shows that you made the right choice not to R. He obviously didn't get that even if it's not an A, having someone that has been an OW in his M stay in his life like that isn't a healthy choice.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11216 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Jeez Louise. Abbot and Costello's "Who's on First?" is easier to follow than this guy's offspring.

So, what is the tally exactly? DD4, OC3, SomeOtherDudesOC2 and OC newborn? All while he lives in your sister's basement???? "Holeeeey WTF" is right.

Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Wow, hello Mr. Supersperm....

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Your XH must be super dysfunctional to continue to entangle himself in this situation.

What. A. Mess.

You are so lucky to have moved on and not be responsible for supporting him in this.

Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2252 | Registered: Feb 2010
Member # 26894
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

yes, notriangles, you did figure out the snafu that is his life. it's just awesome. literally. i'm awed.

thank you, all of you, for making me snort and spit this nice late evening beer. H enjoyed some of your responses too. gonnabe, you crack me up. all of you really.

i can't quite crawl out of my "what the fuck" daze. a little spacey. H is just as bad. DD4 is finally in bed and we are just "" all over again. i took her bowling and then we had national night out so i've been able to keep busy with my perfect little dd today. i can only wonder how this will turn out for her one day.


life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: east coast
Topic Posts: 13