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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Oh my gawd. XH moved 1,100 miles away and didn't tell anyone!
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, August 5th (Monday)

I didn't get any CS last month so I figured something was strange. I wasn't exactly expecting him to move 18+ hrs away (without stops) vs 9 hrs (MI)! His new wife and her family are from there (PA). So he walked away from his family and six children that he had already pretty much abandoned, but still!!

I met with my atty for a prescheduled appt since XH is demanding the children for a month straight and past Labor Day. Time will tell how it works out, but what an idiot. He thought it was financially hard to see the kids then (and used that as an excuse)? So he moves even further away. Brilliant. Now he'll probably make our 4 yr olds sit in a car for 18+ hrs one way.

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 11:17 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, August 5th (Monday)

I'm so sorry!

I bet he's not going to make your babies sit in the car. I bet he's going to make them fly unattended and force you to pay the airfare.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9829 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Thanks NG. I don't think the kids can fly at only 4 y/o....can they? I can't imagine my children alone...being watched by a crew that is watching 100+ other people. God help him if something happened to them.

Also, he's the one who moved away - I'm not paying a dime. Hell no.

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 11:40 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Do you have a garnishment? If not, try find out where he is working and get one.

I don't see a judge making young children fly alone. I would try and get it so he has to pay for all expenses for traveling for visitation since he's the one who moved.

I believe every state has a standard visitation schedule that is dependent on the kids age. You might look on the court website and see what it is for your area.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Thanks NG. I don't think the kids can fly at only 4 y/o....can they?

I believe they can but one would have to pay extra for unaccompanied minors. It is actually a pretty posh setup. The kids board first, and leave first. They are constantly with a flight attendant, and the people picking them up have to show ID and sign paperwork. Some airports even have their own waiting rooms for unaccompanied minors. They cannot be alone AT ALL, someone working for the airlines has to always be with them. If you are ever in an airport and see a kid walking with his itinerary around his neck that is an unaccompanied minor. I have seen children as young as 5 or 6 on a plane by themselves. I don't think there is anything at fault with the parents for allowing it, people do what they have to do.

EDIT: I just googled, the age limit for UM are 5 and above. So no 4 year olds. :)

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 11:49 PM, August 5th (Monday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Mandilwen
Member
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Oh no, don't pay a dime!! Typically, the one who moved pays, unless costs were agreed upon in the divorce. Being an unaccompanied minor on a plane, when they are old enough, would be much better than that long of a car ride! I let my 8 year old go visit an ex in law last October and he went unaccompanied. There were quite a few kids there. You get to walk them to the gate, meet the person responsible until they meet up with the receiving person. Same with return trip. Not too bad, but I would fight to hold off on that for a couple more years...


BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Do you have sole custody? I can't imagine "joint" with him so far away. If so, YOU stipulate his access to the children and I would stipulate that HE comes to you. You don't send the children to him.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)

I let my 8 year old go visit an ex in law last October and he went unaccompanied. There were quite a few kids there.

Yeah, I see and hear a lot of parents who say "I would never, never send my kid on a plan alone" but it is probably safer than any other form of travel. If the child is mature enough to handle a plane ride on their own I think that's pretty cool.

BTW, Grievingmommy, how is his first wife's CS case going? Is it going to affect you at all?

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:25 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
sparklezombie
Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)

As far as flying goes, I flew alone from Chicago to visit my Dad near Canada each summer from the time I was 5 until 10 years old. This was well over 20 years ago, but it was great. I was accompanied by the flight attendant and chewed the ear off of whoever was unfortunate enough to have to sit next to me. So it really wasn't all that bad. Now the cost of the ticket is a whole different story...


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)

I have sole physical custody and we have joint legal custody.

I'm sure flying will come into play here. Maybe even next summer as they'll be five in a few months. I still can't imagine it, but I know kids/parents do it all the time and it'll become the norm most likely. I guess I'd probably rather them fly for a few hours then spend 24+ hrs in a car. My atty said that the court could order that he gets more visitation during the summer (instead of just a month) due to the distance.

Exwife #1 was going to go easy on him and settle for a lesser amount, but after this last stunt and not notifying us of the interuption of CS, she emailed her atty and told her the deal was off. I'm not sure how it'll affect my CS. KInda scary.

The CS is garnished. Thankfully I got a CS payment today so hopefully it'll be back on track. I still have no idea where he works and no work number even though I told him I need it for emergency contact purposes..... of course silence.

He drives me crazy. What a fucktard.


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Topic Posts: 10