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User Topic: DD sabotaging efforts to R
letitout
Member
Member # 38288
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

I don't know what forum to put this in so I put in in general. I'm so very sad right now.

My DD has an eating disorder and it started when my WH started to have his fun with the prostitutes 2 years ago.

Since dday she has been in an inpatient eating disorder clinic and got out 7 weeks ago. She was a very angry person and that was much better, her eating disorder was under control and we thought she was doing fine.

During that time my WH and I had a chance to start to salvage the damage he had done since there were less distractions in the house. We could talk and go out.

The thing that breaks my heart is the fact that she really doesn't want my H and I to R. She has told us that in so many words, and always seems to manage to do something to sabotage our efforts to be together or to go to MC.

I have been trying to get us to go to MC for 3 months now and every time the day comes around she has another crisis. She also doesn't like for us to go out or to talk. She says we are ganging up on her when in our eyes we are trying to help her as a team now and not just me taking care of her.

When WH was in the mist of his infidelity he was not around emotionally for her (or for any of us).

Well, again today, a first MC session was scheduled and she has gotten so bad that we need to take her back to the inpatient clinic like right now today.

I feel like this is way too much for me to handle I'm very frustrated and crying that it is not fair. My H 2 years of prostitutes, my daughters eating disorder and I can't control either one. It feels like I am back to the behaviors of what it was like in this house prior to dday which I'm so desperately trying to avoid.

I don't know what I am asking of you. I just need to talk about it since my heart is breaking and I don't know what to do.


BW 55, WH 64
2 years of prostitutes.

Posts: 281 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: California
Dallas2
Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

(((letitout))))

You have your hands full. Maybe you should try FC. Does the inpatient facility know all she is dealing with?

She is probably very angry at him right now but behind the anger is hurt. It is very hard for a child of any age to understand why or how a parent can do the things a WS does or why you would want to work it out.
I don't think she is really trying to sabotage your R, she just needs help, love and support. So do you so keep posting and we will all be here for you.
Again hugs and prayers for you and your family.


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

(((letitout)))

First off sending mojo to your DD and then to you and your H.

Question: How does she know when the MC sessions are? Is there a way to conceal this info from her.

I get the sense that the eating disorder is stemming from the infidelity. Did the clinic do any work on her feelings about this or did they focus on just the symptom of the eating disorder. My thoughts are that a family counseling session(s) be used to help understand your DD's feelings. To understand her claims of "ganging up on her". You will have to approach her with the line of thinking that the family needs to heal and that is why you would be going. Make sure not to put the onus on her being a possible issue.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52129 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 3