User Topic: I just realized he's a thief!!!
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

We were talking in bed last night, about nothing important. It had been an emotional couple of days, and the mood was kinda murky. He was by my feet and started to lift the blanket over him, like he was gonna sneak up to me under the covers. I pull back, completely upset. I had been mid sentence, and it was almost like he was ignoring me. His response was he was just trying to be playful.

I saw that and I saw red. He STOLE my playfulness with what he's done. His life goes on, he enjoys conversations with people at work, with friends and family. And he still knows how to laugh.

I never truly smile anymore. And my children are missing the mom I used to be.

How messed up is that?

*sorry, had to edit. I'm typing on an iPhone and my fingers got ahead of me.

[This message edited by TrulySad at 7:00 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]

Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.

Posts: 455 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

Wow that's so easy to relate too.

It's amazing how I read some posts and say to myself "that sounds like how I feel".

I guess I'm just bad at trying to come up with the right words.

I will agree. My wh stole a lot from me. Playfulness, security...

I'm sorry you feel this way!!! Hugs!

Posts: 3056 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

I have lost that joy. The eagerness you have to pack and look forward to going absolutely anywhere. The joy of holidays. The joy of family. Laughing at stupid jokes. I am slowly coming back, and I mean slowly. But its the old me. The person I was before I was married. Hopefully I can catch up to present day. I have tried meds and couseling. I guess I am back to survival mode. My early life was rough. Somehow that disgusts me. Its very peculiar.

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 937 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

TrulySad I am with you entirely on this. Entirely.

It's been three weeks since I discovered my wife had been cheating. Yesterday she seemed fine. No tears, no sadness in her eyes, her tone of voice was stable. For the last 3 weeks I've been in fathomless agony, vacillating between furious anger and deep pain. There she is, seemingly okay. I DEEPLY resent her not hurting while I was suffering so much.

I don't know if your cheating partner is feeling the same as mine, but as it turns out my wife is currently immersed in a pool of seething anxiety and panic. She's just hiding it all. She's on the verge of losing me forever and she knows it.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

DragnHeart, you're right, he took that security away also. I'm sorry : (.

Cancuncrushed, I completely agree. How do you enjoy things, when your heart hurts so much? I miss the woman I know I am. And finding the energy to be that woman right now, seems like such an impossible task.

Arablesands, my WBF says he's scared, and he seems to be doing what he should be doing, now, but I just don't see how it's enough. You hit the nail on the head when you say she's on the verge of losing you. I'm glad to see my WBF is afraid of what he could lose. But I want to see him truly hurt, suffer like I'm suffering. It sounds so wrong to hear myself admit that. But last night when I realized what ALL he had stolen from me, I wanted to explode. It occurred to me how much more than just my heart, our relationship, and our future, he had ruined. I've allowed his actions to change me.

I guess it's time for the 180. Just wish I knew how...

Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.

Posts: 455 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 38263
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

Your words made my heart ache with recognition.

I was the most lighthearted, joyful person. I'm not anymore.

However, through IC, I'm realizing that a lot of people, not just my WH...took advantage of my trusting and sweet nature.

Pretty intense months of IC later, I'm starting to get some of that joy back. It will never be innocent again, though. I will always have my guard up that little bit...but it's for my own good.

It will come back to you.

I choose to thrive. I choose to be happy.

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger...but damn, aren't I strong enough yet???

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

I never truly smile anymore. And my children are missing the mom I used to be.

It comes back. I know it seems like it won't, but joy does come back. Yes, there are times that the affair still crosses my mind (read everyday) but the pain is less and real joy is coming back.

Take it day by day, be there for your kids. If you have to "fake it till you make it" But the joy does come back.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

Posts: 1296 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Topic Posts: 7