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Just Found Out
User Topic: Lies of omission re: family
s+++forbrains
Member
Member # 18128
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, July 19th (Friday)

Multiple mc have told my husband many of his issues relate to not having unconditional love from his mother. She had treated me like crap for our entire marriage, she wanted to be first in his life before his wife and children. Now, I don't have anything to do with them. After my battle with cancer I got rid of all "takers" in my life and his mother was truly TOP of the list. So... last week we were in the town our daughter works in and she was given company seats to a professional baseball game. We had a great time, but at the end of the night my husband was insistent that I "go left" when leaving the seats. I was like "okay?!" and went left. Our daughter had to go to the RR and as I was waiting for her I saw his parents were there... I went into the RR and asked my daughter if she knew they were there, my daughter said that she did know. So... his parents were sitting somewhere behind us and watching us... I know somewhere in my ws's warped mind he was "protecting me" but I see it as a lie of omission. I have not said a word to him, but it is a huge disappointment...

Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2008
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, July 19th (Friday)

((((Sfb))) I would have a real problem with that, too. Lies of any sort are just not okay.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8541 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Josephine01
Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, July 19th (Friday)

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))). .
I know how you feel


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, July 19th (Friday)

Hey babe! Glad to hear from you! Your name always makes me .

You understanding that I am all about no frigging lies at all, let me give you just a little twist of opinion. As always, take what you need and blow a hearty Bronx cheer at the rest.

He saw them. He didn''t interact with them. He didn''t want them to interact with you. He didn''t want to spoil your very special event with your DD, nor did he want to draw attention to you and your family by pointing them out to you, you looking, they seeing that, and using that as a excuse to break NC. So he panicked, said nothing, and tried to steer you away from possible conflict.

Ideal way to handle it, ah, no. He should have told you at some point, even if it was at the end of the game when he would say something like, I didn''t want to ruin your game, but my parents are here please go left so we don''t have to run into them. But, if his intent was good, then maybe this can be a "this is what I would far rather have had happen vice the other" moment.

Of course, for all I know, he does this sort of dodge every time you go out together, in which place, I''ll hold him while you 2x4 him.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4713 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
HurtButHopeful?
Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, July 19th (Friday)

Sorry this happened. The WS lost all rights to any secrets when they decided to put W before their names.

They don't need to "protect" us, they just need to respect us, treat us like grown-ups and tell the truth.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
s+++forbrains
Member
Member # 18128
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, July 22nd (Monday)

Thanks everyone! Skan, thanks for the insight. I keep waiting to see if he says something about them being there, but he doesn't.

This next weekend I know he has been invited via text to go to his hometown to an activity with some classmates. This should be okay, but he took his mistress to a high school event once when I had to stay home with our children to take them to perform in a church service and then he went to a class reunion and talked to the ONE person I asked him not to. He has a classmate that every time he is with her they act like they are and in love... even in front of me... Let's see what he does this weekend...


Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2008
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, July 22nd (Monday)

I''ll hold him while you kick him, if you''d like...


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4713 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 7