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New Beginnings
User Topic: Help a brother out
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Hi NB!
I'm jj.
Purveyor of laughter, tears those dam salty things! & dumb conundrums.
I didn't mean for it to happen. Honest injun!
Me happy campAH!

The dang thing is -
I'm attracted.
& I want to be sure, inside,

that I'm NOT just attracted to attraction.
KWIM?

Me trusting the tingle?
Get outta here!
I'd sooner eat cold beets than let my happy heart out.
Expose it to exposure.

Uh uh!
So,
what is the tingle?
Is it in me? (as in *only*)

Obviously, we're strangers, in the sense that I kicked the kisa's ass, but this is a new thing.
And I want to be sure.
Before I let it out.

I'm jj, and I'm not sure I approve of the message my silly heart is sending...careful now, careful!


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Like!


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19792 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Thanks friend - means a LOT to me!
I'm a bit skeered...

Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
OnceInALifetime
Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Yeah, it is scary. The few times I've felt that I've gotten my ass kicked.

But that's probably because my own confidence plummets when I feel the tingles. Which makes me wonder, is that partly what the tingles are all about? Feeling like you're in the presence of an idol?

I don't trust the tingles much myself. If you figure out how to work with them, let me know, because it would be fun as hell to be able to surf that wave.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Sweetie, I'm pretty sure if you were just going to be attracted to attraction it would have happened way before now. It's been a long road, you've done a lot of hard work. Trust in that, and enjoy the rewards.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12123 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Awww! I LOVE you for that sister!
Gives my heart some peace.
Instead of juddering back and forth over the line between self-checking and outright navel-gazing!

OIAL - it feels like the same question.
The tingle is in me,
BUT
I refuse to attribute it to an idol...or let's say
*something outside of me*
Does that make sense?

It's what I learned through the healing, that is - to embrace - within - every dam shred of every dam thing.


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, July 4th (Thursday)


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16344 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

It's what I learned through the healing, that is - to embrace - within - every dam shred of every dam thing.
Damn straight. Welcome to NB, jj.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24410 | Registered: Aug 2011
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Thank you! You're my kinda guides!
Funny thought just now.
You know the bad blind-sided feeling?
This is the good one!
Hahahaha!
Who'da thunk it?

Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Welcome to NB, jjct.

Posts: 33811 | Registered: Mar 2011
Oh the Irony
Member
Member # 12354
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Don't know your story, but like you already.

Go slow. Let intimacy build over some time. I suggest a controlled fall. Hold onto yourself.


Two gorgeous boys, 14 and 8.
D-day Sept. 15, 2006.
Me, BS 43
Him, WS 50
Her, OG (Guess she is 27 or 28 now! 19-21 at the time...)
Separated. Divorcing. Happily working on myself.

Posts: 733 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: thankful for truth
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

Thanks jo!
You guys are like angels on my shoulder - the right shoulder!

I'm going to go grab some grub & a cold one, listen to some John Philipso -
it's Independence Day!
Wait! Now that just figures, doesn't it?
hoo boy!

Will check in later...
Wave a flag!


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

a controlled fall. Hold onto yourself.

Exactly.
Just what my mind needed to hear.
Confirms my feelings.
Thank you!
muah to all!
(not you, oial))))))))


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 4th (Thursday)

it's Independence Day!
Wait! Now that just figures, doesn't it?


Posts: 33811 | Registered: Mar 2011
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

jj!!

This made my day. Truly and surely, you deserve this, have earned this.

Embrace this risk and be yourself. I cannot wait for updates!!!

oh, boy... who wudda thunk it for sure.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5584 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

You've done the work.. now enjoy the fruits of that work.

Grabbing the popcorn and a cold one, sitting back... And looking forward to the updates.

hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4840 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

Great post jjct! Can't wait to hear more.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4374 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

The dang thing is -
I'm attracted.
& I want to be sure, inside,
that I'm NOT just attracted to attraction.

I agree with Inconnu. If this were the issue it would have happened before now.


((jjct))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13647 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, July 5th (Friday)


Am I the only one who'd really like to hear more about this tingle inducing non-idol?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13559 | Registered: Jul 2011
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, July 5th (Friday)

She
.
.
.
.
fills my eyes.

The fact that this has even happened astonishes me.

For all its unexpectedness, the tingle's strength...I won't say overwhelming...more like captivating.
Like a new flavor.
Like holding a Popsicle at arm's length.

She's mid-40's, so it's not exactly like I'm throbbing the cradle here, and I'm not sure if it matters, or how it might matter in the future - we're different races.

I don't care, actually.
The fact that this has even happened is all my mind can encompass right now.
Another amazing thing to me is
"I don't care"

Self-protection?
Maybe, it doesn't feel bad - just "different"...
but the outcome is uncertain,
yeah, like we don't know that!
...and I'm just riding the feeling right now.
She fills my eyes.


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, July 5th (Friday)

She fills my eyes.

This reads like poetry, jj. I'm very, very happy for you.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19792 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, July 5th (Friday)

I am happy for you jj. Focus on getting to know each other really well. Best wishes to you.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3321 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, July 5th (Friday)


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13559 | Registered: Jul 2011
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Like.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15360 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Awww...


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24410 | Registered: Aug 2011
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, July 5th (Friday)

jj - So glad you've joined us. I met you at one of the Dallas GTG. I believe the Makers Mark had its way with you that time. But you seemed like such a good person - suffering as we all have.

I'm just tickled that you're feeling this feeling! I will tell you what I told my sons growing up. "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb - that's where the fruit is!"

And if it doesn't work out exactly as you hope, well the ride will be worth it and you will learn some more on your journey through life.

Sending strength and peace and lots of !

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7644 | Registered: Aug 2005
cryingdaily
Member
Member # 7276
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Awwww, JJ. Yay!

I echo what everyone else has said. Go slow and let it happen.

And if things take a different turn, you will have new experience to draw upon next time.


Me: BS 48
Him: Doesn't matter any more.
The Royal Court, formerly known as the Princess Posse:
DD31 - Belle
DD23 - Xena
GD10 - Jasmine
GD8 - Ariel
GD Born 9/4/12 - Tink
GS Born 6/23/2014 - Little Prince

Posts: 14393 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Massachusetts
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I love reading this... keep us posted.

Passing the popcorn....

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4840 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I am so happy for you, jj!

Posts: 33811 | Registered: Mar 2011
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, July 5th (Friday)


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4374 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
soverybetrayed
Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, July 5th (Friday)

I am smiling from ear to ear! So happy to see you finding a tingle. Take it slow and let it grow.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1201 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
inhishands55
Member
Member # 9454
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, July 5th (Friday)

So happy to hear that you have some good news jj...Enjoy the tingle..It is so much fun, especially in the beginning...When you feel the butterflies and the like it gets better and better..

Enjoy all your new feelings...Have a good time..I always tell people if you don't reach out, you might miss who you were suppose to have in your life...


Posts: 408 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: The Tarheel State, in the mts.
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, July 5th (Friday)


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2605 | Registered: Jan 2010
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:37 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

Of course I remember nl! (It was Woodford Reserve - same State as MM! - haven't touched it since )
You, cd, & others are saying things that are helping me to reinforce, & confirm my quiet feelings. Take it slow. Enjoy.
Part of what's different is the ability to be sanguine about it - if it doesn't work out.

It lends a freeing and a refreshing...a strength aspect to the tingle.
Through all the struggle, may we all obtain a superpower: surviving infidelity, whose main weapon is:
the ability to let go.

Will be interesting to learn how it manifests - should things go forward into deep intimacy (it already seems intimate inside me - feels marvelous!)

Thanks to all! You're the bestest! I will update.
Headed out now for family, will be back in a couple of days...


Posts: 6423 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 13th (Saturday)

update?


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 35