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User Topic: Just over a week...
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

It's been just over a week since LH and I lost our wonderful cat Eva. :(
I was scared at first that this would really cause LH to withdraw from "us", but it really hasn't. quite the opposite in fact.
LH has been supportive of me and I of him and we're sharing our grief together.
His big fear was that he's be alone in another loss and grieving situation, just like after the A; but he said he doesn't feel that way.
I think he's reassured that I'm not a trigger and he wants to talk to me about it, and share his feelings.
We're making new plans for the future and he's putting a lot of energy into a garden overhaul to cat proof out back yard for when we get new additions.
I'm able to share my stories and feeling during my days, as being a veterinarian, all my clients understand completely. He has to pen in his loss until he comes home.
We're doing ok. We're sad but sad together and that's better than it's been before. I'm grateful that Eva has given me that parting gift - to become closer to my husband again. Gifts come from the most unexpected places. Still miss her to pieces. :( RIP our little kitten.


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
KBeguile
Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

OM, cats are wonderful creatures. When Heart and I moved, we had to give up our two beloved kitties to a shelter with no knowledge of what happened to them.

My heart goes out for your loss.


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 797 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, June 29th (Saturday)

Oh KB that's so sad....at least we have an ending. We got to bury her together in a field we own. Our other animals are being very loving and the older cat (13y) is being very loving right now.
Animals are so wonderful - they know what unconditional means...


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
KBeguile
Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, June 29th (Saturday)

Since you mentioned it, I am upset that I don't have an ending, and I feel a peace for you that you at least got to know what happened at the end.

Still feel badly for your loss, though. May something good come in the wake...


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 797 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
jb3199
Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

I am sorry for your and LH's loss. They are family...I really mean that...and I can only imagine your pain.

I am glad that Eva's passing has let the two of you join forces to grieve, instead of driving you apart. I understand your legitimate fears of a crushing blow driving a wedge between the two of you, but maybe this is a sign of how far the both of you have come since those dark days.

The best of luck to both of you.


BH-46
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2052 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 30th (Sunday)

(((OM & LH)))

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Posts: 35176 | Registered: Mar 2011
cinnamongurl
Member
Member # 37879
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

((OM & LH))
So sorry for your loss! Cats are such tiny creatures that take up such an enormous space in our lives and hearts. They love unconditionally and never care if your hair's a mess or if you have stinky morning breath. I lost my beloved Ashley a year ago today, she was my best friend for 15 yrs.

Though its terribly sad about your loss, it sounds like your both supporting one another. That's beautiful to hear. Grieving is tough, but necessary, and you have worked really hard to get to the point where you both feel safe enough to do so together. That warms my heart!

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss!


Me: 36 fWGF He: 35 BBF and my heart
Together 18 yrs. "You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do."
Kurt Vonnegut



Posts: 507 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: home with my heart.
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, June 30th (Sunday)

I have been thinking about you both and poor sweet Eva. I'm glad that you are both able to pull together in this difficult time. Hugs and good thoughts to you both.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17322 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, July 1st (Monday)

I've been thinking about you two also, since your H posted about Eva. I am so sorry. I'm a cat lady---I have 3 beautiful, sweet girl kitties and my family has had cats all my life. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad you and your H are dealing with it together.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled and remarried.


Posts: 2137 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
ShellShockedSid
Member
Member # 29068
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, July 1st (Monday)

I am sorry about the loss of your dear kitty.

We lost our 22 year old kitty, Sidney, a few weeks after dday. At the time, I did not think that anything could hurt worse than dday. I was wrong. She was a huge blessing to me way before I married FWH, and in her passing, my husband I grew closer. Sid left me a gift also--she reminded me of that life is too short, and sadness and anger is a waste. Her loss was the first baby step for FWH husband and I to come back together. He was the only person on earth who truly understood the pain I was feeling, and I understood his pain too.

It has been over 3 years, and I still tear up when thinking about that special cat, and everything she taught me, in life and death.

About a year ago, we were finally ready to adopt a kitten...and ended up with 2. It was a tough decision. Sid could never be replaced, but it was time. Then, a couple bottle fed orphan kittens ended up in my house. Best decision ever. There is nothing more fun that baby cats!

I wish you well on the journey of grief for your dear cat. Know that one day, you will be able to look back and smile at her memory. And, someday, you'll be ready to open your heart again p.


BW: 46, me
FWH: 48
DDay: 1/22/2010
Reconciling.
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

Posts: 314 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 10