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User Topic: Support Through Prayer- Part 2
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday)

This thread is for both BS/WS. This thread is not intended for religious debating.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday)

Again I am asking for prayer about my 'family'. Please pray that my WH would choose truly RRing our M and not D. I also pray that God would put it in his heart to be sincerely remorseful over what he has done to our DS and myself. I feel I'll never be fully healed w/out that.
I also pray for wisdom and strength and to know that only the Lord is in control. I pray my WH will come to know this also.
My biggest prayer request is that God would wrap HIS healing arms around each and everyone here on S.I.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
Newtwood
Member
Member # 21154
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, February 5th (Friday)

Asking for prayers for strength.

On Tue. night I was taken to the hospital for 72 hrs. I just got home-they let me out early due to the pending snowstorm here.

Just need a big, big, hug.


Faithful Wife of 24+ yrs: Me
WS: Him
OW(s): AFF Skanks/GRANDMOTHERS!!!

Status: Struggling Everday to
Survive

what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another-Anatole France


Posts: 2181 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: North Carolina
Thriving
Member
Member # 4770
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, February 5th (Friday)

(((((newt))))) I hope you're feeling better. Please take it easy and rest.


"Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any of one of those is to lose all three." - Anon.

Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Denver, CO
HPrynne
Member
Member # 18545
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, May 13th (Thursday)

A little background. My affair started during a deployment a few years ago. My husband and I have been both working really hard to keep our marriage together. I just deployed again and have started journaling as a way to learn how to see myself, express myself, just overall be a better person.
This morning after journaling, I felt it was something I needed to share with my husband. This is what I wrote and emailed to him and below that is his reply. Even though we are thousands of miles apart, I am so glad to see that we are able to keep the lines of communication open.
I wasn’t sure whether to post this in “Wayward” or “Reconciliation” but because of the religious aspect, I thought it best to post it in the “Support through Prayer” thread. I hope this helps other people as much as it has helped me!

>
> Dear BS,
> I was journaling this morning and one of the readings was about our how our family (parents and siblings) shapes and molds us. The journal question was along the lines (or so I thought) of being thankful for our family experiences and how they made us who we are today.
> I started reflecting on this and found myself getting angry. I should thank my serial adulterous father, my mother who didn't fight for custody of us and my brothers who molested me?
> But I reread the paragraph and saw that the question was more about how God shapes and molds us.
> So then I thought, God shaped and molded me to be like my father? And to not have stronger maternal instincts? That sucks!
> But then I realized something more and my head felt full and my fingers started tingling. Seriously, this happened.
> I realized that things in our life do not make us stronger -- WE make ourselves stronger! I know you've heard the statement, "Our affair made our marriage stronger." Bullshit! It's God and the husband and wife who can make it stronger. Improper actions don't do that!
> And I really feel like I found God ever since we started going to church. Now I can truly understand that now that I have a personal relationship with God, I am able to see how he continues to shape and mold me -- into my goal of being the best wife and mother you all deserve.
>
> That's what I wrote in my journal today. I know you and I have the power, with God in our lives, to make our marriage strong. I love you for being with me today and will keep pursuing a better life with God and you and the children.
>
> Love Always,
HPrynne

His reply?
HPrynne
I'm glad you feel this way. I told you you seemed different in a better way this past year.

Love,
BS


Me, FWW
Him, BH
Married: 17 years
DDay: Jan 2008
More TT: April 2008
Lie Detector test: July 2008
He said he forgives me: Feb 13, 2011
3 children (one of them during R -- what a blessing)

Posts: 220 | Registered: Mar 2008
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, May 16th (Sunday)

I'm glad this thread is here.

I have a couple of prayer requests, for anyone listening/willing to pray.

1.) Please pray for my STBX/BH:

- that God will lift him up and heal him and help him recover, and sustain him through this devastating crisis that I caused through my selfishness.
- that, if it's God's will, his heart will be turned toward forgiveness of my actions.
- that he may someday change his mind...and that even if he doesn't, that he finds peace in his life.

2.) Please pray for me:

- that I learn from this painful lesson and change for the better
- that I can make it on my own: financially & emotionally
- that through the closing of this door, God in His mercy sees fit to open a window

Thank you. Peace and healing through God's grace to you all.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2251 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Littlegirllost
Member
Member # 21769
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, May 17th (Monday)

Heartbroken0903,

I have prayed with you and I send you my prayers.


Me: BS 48 yrs.
FWH 50
D'day: 5/22/08
2 EA's, 1 PA during 5 month period of time
A Midlife Crisis gone wild
In R

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: New Jersey
HPrynne
Member
Member # 18545
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, May 17th (Monday)

HB0903 -- you are both in my prayers. God bless you both!


Me, FWW
Him, BH
Married: 17 years
DDay: Jan 2008
More TT: April 2008
Lie Detector test: July 2008
He said he forgives me: Feb 13, 2011
3 children (one of them during R -- what a blessing)

Posts: 220 | Registered: Mar 2008
thegreatwife
Member
Member # 28119
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, May 30th (Sunday)

Please pray for me so that I may find the strength I need for this week ahead.
WH called to tell me he broke it off with OW and is a mess and of no help to me right now. DS graduates and I will be throwing a BBQ for 70 by myself without help from anyone at all. Usually my WH and I have done everyting together and by ourselves because we have been quite the team.
Please also pray that I find joy in all my DS senior events this week. It will be bittersweet for so many obvious reasons.
Please also pray for my health - I am suffering from gastritis from all the stress.
Peace


Me - Faithful Spouse 44
Him - WS 44
Married - 20 yrs
Together - 25 years
D Day 12/30/09
EA/PA - 18 mos

"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." But what truly matters is what *you* think." Dr. Seuss


Posts: 125 | Registered: Apr 2010
GeauxTigers
Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, May 30th (Sunday)

I am asking for prayers for my wife. She has suffered from chronic depression for decades, and the aftermath of her recent affair has her as lost as I've ever seen her. I'm scared.

Please pray that she finds her path to peace and joy.

Thank you.


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
JoyH
Member
Member # 5973
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 30th (Sunday)

A simple prayer that I had posted on my bathroom mirror for the early months after our dday. It came from a drug rehab program, but fit my needs at the time.

Recovery Prayer

Dear Lord,

Sometimes bitter memories paralyze me.

I get so focused on those unpleasant moments in my life that moving forward seems impossible.

Help me to leave behind these negative images.

Please give me your love and strength to change those memories from bitter and resented times to simply a moment from the past.

Please help me to focus forward.

Let me realize that the delightful memories of today and tomorrow will bless me with peace of mind.

............



Initial dday 11/00.
Me: BS
H: WS,
Difficult road, but Reconciling.

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past and instead inviting hope for a better future."

"The Truth Hurts, But It's Best That You Know."


Posts: 408 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Fl, USA
bellamomma
New Member
Member # 28895
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 26th (Saturday)

My WH and I are S. He says he wants a D. I've been reading a lot of scripture, praying and seeking Godly counsel. I really believe God wants me to stand and believe for R.
DDay for me was just under 2 wks ago, June 14th. I found explicit emails between WH and OW.
Bit of Background: My husband was in full time ministry for about 5 years, and has been in church most of his life. Until the A, I was the only person he had ever been with. During our marriage we had 5 miscarriages and a lot of circumstances and financial issues that come with ministry.
The A has been going on for a year. He was let go from the church in January. The OW worked at the church. I notified the church leadership, the OW was fired and WH confronted. Aparently she was not very repentant, but her BH has really stepped up and set some boundaries for her. WH aparently broke down in tears and expressed extreme repentance.
I gave him space, to be sensitive to when he was ready to discuss things. He hadn't said anything to me, but didn't express anger. Then just yesturday, he called me and threatened me about our finances and future, and threatened to do things that I don't think he even legally do. He is all of a sudden so angry with me. Right after DDay, he had waivered on the D thing, and was expressing hope for our M. However, yesturday he was talking about D again. I know God has it in control. I know God can do miracles. Please pray that WH comes to true repentance, comes back to God, and returns to the marriage. Please pray that God give me wisdom to know what I need to do. I also need a financial miracle.
Also if anyone has any insight from a biblical perspective that would be great! Thank you!

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Longview, TX
Beth
Member
Member # 6381
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 4th (Sunday)

Please pray for my family, especially my daughter and 20 month old granddaughter. My son in law was verbally and emotionally abuse and she kicked him out a few months ago. For a while it looked like their marriage might be able to be ended amicably but the last few weeks he has become increasingly hostile and manipulative.
He appears to be attempting to build a case to have custody of my granddaughter, which would be a tragedy as he is a narcissist, a sociopath, is a poor father and untreated ptsd. The whole situation is a nightmare and is tearing us up. My daughter was a faithful wife and is and excellent mom, but he has been lying and waging psychological warfare- he was trained for this in the military. I believe he is viewing this as a battle campaign, not as what is best for his child.
Please pray for their protection and for the courts to see through his manipulations and lies.
Thank you


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Feb 2005
lied2
Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, July 13th (Tuesday)

I am asking for prayer for my son. He is away at camp and having a really hard time.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
let it be me
Member
Member # 29103
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, August 27th (Friday)

Thought for the day (Day 1)

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You"

~ Isaiah 26:3

Come, Holy Spirit, Come... Reside in my heart so that from the overflow of my heart I will speak Your truth.....


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
let it be me
Member
Member # 29103
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, August 30th (Monday)

Thought for the Day (Day 2)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

~Romans 15:13

Today, again, Spirit I call to you and tear open my wounded heart to let you in. Help me to 'captivate my thought(s) until they serve Christ'......


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
let it be me
Member
Member # 29103
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, September 1st (Wednesday)

Thought for the Day (Day 3)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6

I am NOT alone. I may not have what I want; however, I will always have what I need. True love, pure love, God's love. EVEN I DON'T DESERVE THIS LOVE for I have sinned against God and others, as well. Yet God gave grace through Christ that I may always reconcile myself back to God and continue my walk with Him as I transform more and more into an image of the Love that God has shown me through the sacrifices and love of Christ.

Today I will focus to captivate my thoughts until they serve Christ.

Asking for forgiveness from God and anyone I sin against, repenting and allowing God to take that and make it something beautiful!

*sighs*

I can do this and 'all things through Christ who strengthens me'.

Happy Wednesday!


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
HPrynne
Member
Member # 18545
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, September 15th (Wednesday)

Something my BH passed on to me:
Commend your past to God's mercy;
Commend your future to God's providence;
Consecrate your prest to God's love.

I love what this means but I'm working on trying to figure out how to commend my past to God's mercy.


Me, FWW
Him, BH
Married: 17 years
DDay: Jan 2008
More TT: April 2008
Lie Detector test: July 2008
He said he forgives me: Feb 13, 2011
3 children (one of them during R -- what a blessing)

Posts: 220 | Registered: Mar 2008
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, September 22nd (Wednesday)

Since I feel too ashamed to put this on the 'prayer list' at Church I'm posting it here.
Please pray for DS & I. DS is having awful depression due to the fact that WH is not home. He is also doing awful in school this year. He wants me to give WH another chance. I don't know if I can. Please pray that the Lord will show me what to do. I guess I'm asking for prayers of grace & strength. I am praying that God would really open Wh's eyes to all the devastation his selfishness has caused. Until then I don't believe I can give DS what he wants most.
I am starting to lose faith more & more each day. I need prayer on that also.
Thank-you all.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
HPrynne
Member
Member # 18545
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, September 27th (Monday)

Crushed Again,
I just saw your prayer request. I have started praying for you and your DS. I hope things are looking better for you this week.
HP


Me, FWW
Him, BH
Married: 17 years
DDay: Jan 2008
More TT: April 2008
Lie Detector test: July 2008
He said he forgives me: Feb 13, 2011
3 children (one of them during R -- what a blessing)

Posts: 220 | Registered: Mar 2008
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, September 27th (Monday)

Having some feelings like something isn't right here lately. Please pray for me and my family. If there is something going on I pray it will come to light now.

Oldest son is in a battle for his 3 y/o daughter. The xso is causing misery and stress with her lies. He has gone back to college and is struggling with all of this going on.

Your prayers and good thoughts are deeply needed and greatly appreciated.

I will remember each of you in my prayers.

Blessings all.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9771 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 28th (Tuesday)

HPrynne-

A big Thank-you! Your prayers are working. A much better week than last week.
Also I finally got up the strength to go to the DR.- I just started on AD's this week. DS is having a better week too- he just got off the phone w/WH. They were making plans for a snack/movie date! Seemed to cheer DS up

Again, I pray that the Lord would lovingly wrap his arms around everyone here on SI...

Almighty God our heavenly Father, graciously comfort & heal ALL hurting souls. It is in Your Son's precious name I pray- Amen.

Crushed1
Praying for you & your's.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
HPrynne
Member
Member # 18545
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, September 29th (Wednesday)

CA -- glad to hear things are looking better. Prayer is very powerful and amazing!

C1 -- I will keep you and your son and your granddaughter in my prayers too!
HP


Me, FWW
Him, BH
Married: 17 years
DDay: Jan 2008
More TT: April 2008
Lie Detector test: July 2008
He said he forgives me: Feb 13, 2011
3 children (one of them during R -- what a blessing)

Posts: 220 | Registered: Mar 2008
BoardPearl
Member
Member # 25463
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, October 2nd (Saturday)

I will be praying for you all.

I am amazed at what happened to me after asking for prayers here!

Thank you.

Prayers are powerful, and work.


Posts: 1116 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Europe
faithhopeandlove
Member
Member # 28482
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, October 9th (Saturday)

I know God can do all things. I am of the conviction my marriage its not over. The world calls it denial, I want to call it faith.

I am feeling very confused. I know what the word tells me what god wants for me, I know what I want for me... But ultimately if wh is not willing it doesn't matter what I or god wants.

Please pray for my understanding. I need a stepping stone for my faith today.


Posts: 391 | Registered: May 2010 | From: on the edge of a sunset feet in the water
urwyfe
Member
Member # 29856
Wink  Posted: 11:30 AM, October 24th (Sunday)

@NEWT SEE INBOX
(HUGS FOR EVERONE)
PSALM 37
Never stop praying. Things may seem to go in slow motion, but God will deliver us.


BW 47/WH 47 Married 7+ years
together 16 1/2 years
DD#1 9/08, Reconciled 9/09
"There's a stranger in my house" the stranger no longer exists! Thank God!

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: NY
hitbyatruck
Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, November 7th (Sunday)

just asking for some prayers to get past something.


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
notagainplease
New Member
Member # 27812
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, November 11th (Thursday)

I have been separated from WH for 8 months now. After 45 years of marriage, I discovered H had been in LTA for years. Needless to say, I have gone through the various stages of grief.
So glad there is a prayer support forum here. I thought someone out there might benefit from a prayer my sister recently sent me. It made all the difference in the world for me!
Prayer of Release by Roy Lessin:
"I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until the day of His return." II Tim. 1:12 "Heavenly Father,
I release to You the burdens that I have been carrying..burdens that You never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon You, all my worries, all my fears.
Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart. Still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto. With open hands I come to You.
I thank You for Your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace..the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time and in Your way."
God bless all of you hurting hearts out there.

Posts: 14 | Registered: Mar 2010
looking forward
Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, November 26th (Friday)

I just found this thread!
I am so glad that we have this support through prayer.
I recently completed a three-part theological course called Living the Questions. One lesson was titled: Prayer: Intimacy With God. Its focus was the idea of prayer as the primary method of intereaction with God is best thought of as a way of life rather than an activity reserved for specific times, places, and formulas. Much of prayer's real power is in changing us. When we are changed, we may be able to see things in a new way or find the strength to live faithfully with what we cannot change.
This 21 part course contains many wonderful prayers, and if anyone reading would like to know more, please feel free to PM me.
So in parting,

O God,
thank you for people who nurture
childhood faith and teach,
in loving ways,
that your word is a light unto our path.
Thank you for all
the people who open our hearts and minds
to learn and grow.
Thank you for friends
in the faith,
people with whom
we can share
our struggles,
hunches, and joys.
Give us the courage
to not only study
the scriptures,
but also live your grace. In Christ's name.
Amen

(Cynthia Langston Kirk)

[This message edited by looking forward at 9:27 PM, November 26th (Friday)]


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
looking forward
Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, December 30th (Thursday)

A New Year’s Prayer
May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most, and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Lynn52
New Member
Member # 26510
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, January 10th (Monday)

Asking for prayer for myself,WH and our children. 1st Dday was April 2009. It was a long road to R. It didn't really start until about Aug.2010. It's been up and down but getting better I thought, even a week vac. just the two of us over our wedding anniversary. Well big fight yesterday, worse than its been in a while. I said mean things to him like in the beginning. So today he tells me its just too much, he's done.Our youngest son is special needs he's going to have an extra hard time with a S.

Please pray that my family stays together and heals and grows. Prayers for my children that they end up with their parents together, happy and in love.

If anyone is willing to pray for my family I would appreciate it so much.


BW(me)-41
WH(him)-39
Married 19 years
3 Kids
DDay 4/06/09
Broken NC & TT until 6/01/10
Trying to R

Posts: 2 | Registered: Dec 2009
scamper10
New Member
Member # 30545
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, January 15th (Saturday)

praying Lynn.
Please Pray for my wh and I also. Beenn living seperately for 2 months, NC with him. I keep praying for him, I just don't know what God is doing with him, but I am NOt encouraged. He filed for D but I contested...and so I am letting it sit for its time right now...No quick decision...Praying Satan releases him and God brings him back to repentance and R so we can be a stronger and more effective ministry for HIM!..I love him, inspite od his "sins". Well, God loves me inspite of my imperfections, how can I bestow less than that on MY HUSBAND? I'm trying to be strong, courageous, and not lose Hope.
My family is also very angry. There are a lot of hearts that need mended and filled with love and forgiveness over this mess.
Oh and He is living with His ow, because he says he can't stay at our house...too many ghosts..NO DUH??!!

Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: pittsburgh,pa
Beat up
Member
Member # 30445
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, January 16th (Sunday)

Hi,

Can I request to be mentioned for strength for both me and my 2 boys?

I will mention all in my prayers also.

Thanks.

Mike


Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2010
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, January 17th (Monday)

(((((everyone))))) Keeping you all in prayer...asking our Father to give strength, courage, and wisdom to each of us to face what comes our way each day.

God bless you all and please keep me and my family in your prayers. The Lord does hear us.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9771 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
APRIL2008
Member
Member # 19690
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, January 19th (Wednesday)

Please pray for me and my family need all the strength I can get to continue on with my journey. I am confused and need direction. Need to free my head from conflict so that I can see what god has to show me and hear what he has to tell me. thank you in advance.


Me BGF28
XBF 29
DD 10
DS 7

“Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"
Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”
― Lisa Schroeder


Posts: 525 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Arizona
jilteddad1
New Member
Member # 29864
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, January 24th (Monday)

Beat up - I'm with you brother. I need prayer as well, we have 2 boys 17, 14 that my WW left along with me after 21 years of M in Oct saying she was in love with another man she met on face book 2 months prior. They hooked up for a weekend and I guess he got his because he seems to be out of the picture. After the holidays I thought she would be ready to come home. but not yet. I asked her is she has found someone new, she said no but it sure feels like it did before. Can anyone relate? I pray for everyone caught in this bear trap. I can't tell what my WW wants, I pray that she would hit bottom and realize what she's done.

[This message edited by jilteddad1 at 5:49 PM, January 24th (Monday)]


Posts: 42 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Texas
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, January 26th (Wednesday)

Hugs & prayers to EVERYONE on this thread and to everyone on SI as well. jilteddad1, APRIL2008, and everyone else with foggy spouses praying especially for you all. Asking the Lord to please open the eyes & hearts of those who still do not see pain and heartache they are causing with their sinful actions. May God bless &
Heal each & everyone one of us on this painful journey called infidelity. I ask this in Jesus' precious name. Amen.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
capri
Member
Member # 14940
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, March 2nd (Wednesday)

I haven't posted in this thread in a long, long time, in part because I suspect wh knows my username and this site and I couldn't post what was really going on, for my own protection. But now he knows I've filed.

He acted very conciliatory last night, played the poor me, I know I've been a jerk routine, and I have no idea if it's true or not. He's seeing a laywer this morning. This is one of the little things that galls me. As a full time employee of a huge company, he has benefits like employee assistance to connect him up with a laywer in a heartbeat, something not quite so simple for a part time employee/ stay at home mom. But that's probably just a vent and frustration.

Please pray that he would genuinely move forward civilly with concern for the kids and be fair in alimony as I've given up 22 years of full time work which I can never recoup, please pray he wouldn't turn this into an ugly legal battle. Please pray for our children, who don't yet know. Please pray for me to have strength, as I not only have this to deal with, but an alcoholic, dysfunctional family and a mother who's already telling people I'm 'imagining' things regarding wh. It's likely their tongues will be wagging overtime about how stupid and awful I'm being and how I'm ruining all my children's lives.

Thank you.


Me: free of the secrets and lies!!!
Divorced 10/2011

Posts: 4483 | Registered: Jun 2007
bumbed
Member
Member # 31024
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, March 6th (Sunday)

Please pray for me and my wayward. Pray that God opens our hearts and minds to each other so that we can see, feel and talk about his plan for us and our future.

Pray for strength, wisdom, comfort, peace and faith as we face this very difficult path for me and my SI family.


I rather suspect like all the worst things in life, making sense of it will not happen.


25 year relationship D day 1/28/11
The we door is closed but the ME doors are opening


Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: a better place in Michiagn
capri
Member
Member # 14940
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, March 19th (Saturday)

I met someone recently who very much needs prayer. She is living in a nightmare similar to many here, with an extremely emotionally abusive, controlling, and arrogant husband. She has been getting counseling and is slowly getting stronger, but sounds like she feels she has a long way to go. Please pray for her to overcome all his belittling and abuse, and to be able to take care of herself. He's threatening what he'll do if she divorces him, at the same time he insults her and tells her she's nothing and he doesn't like anything about her. My heart is breaking for her tonight.


Me: free of the secrets and lies!!!
Divorced 10/2011

Posts: 4483 | Registered: Jun 2007
rcantbleveit
Member
Member # 30476
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, April 9th (Saturday)

It's so good to see that there are so many believers among us.

Our divorce was final last month. H is living with OW. They are out with friends of ours tonight. It just hurts so much to know that she has just stepped in and took over my life as if I didn't even exist.

Friends say they love my H and I both. They can't take sides & they have to support whatever decisions we've made.

That is great, however I'm the one that had to move and lost my community because of it, while OW enjoys my home, my friends, my husband, step sons & community.

I'm not angry about it. I'm just downright sad & lost. I love my H. He says he will always love me & he will be here if I need anything.

He won't talk about why he left or what he's doing. They have all the money they want & need. They travel and have fun constantly. I'm struggling to get through each day.

I pray for everyone of us going through the loss of their spouse/friend. I pray that God will completely fill us up with his love & comfort. I pray that we all get the necessary strength to make it through this trial and hold onto God the entire time.

God bless each and everyone of you.


Posts: 227 | Registered: Dec 2010
jdt1973
Member
Member # 31750
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, April 9th (Saturday)

Pray for me to stay NC. I have struggled the past two weeks pretty hard. And thus, it affects my wife when she senses my struggle. I know that God's best is with my wife and kids. I have believed the lies of Satan for so long, lies I took part in telling myself. I am having to "renew" my mind. Please pray that I will be faithful to see R through and that my very hurt wife will not give up.


After all is said and done, just shut the hell up.
WH(me) 38
BS 38
Togethher 21 years, married 19
5 kids - 17,15,12,10,2
DD#1 4/2001 - EA/PA
DD#2 10/2009 - EA/PA
DD#3 1/4/2011 - EA/PA same AP as DD#2
R - trying hard

Posts: 175 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Texas
takilasunrise
Member
Member # 29786
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, April 13th (Wednesday)

I, too, am asking for prayer for myself. I am still having major anxiety issues with all of this and the anxiety part of it is really starting to overwhelm me. I am personally struggling with my own faith through all this as well. Thank you.

And, I ask, too, that a prayer is said for my WH...."forgive him, for he knows not what he does".


BW - Me, 49 years old
WH - Him, 51 years old)
D-Day July 2010 (several D-days to follow)
Divorced February 7, 2012

Denial isn't the way to forgiveness. The Karma for screwing over a good girl is the Bitch you end up with.


Posts: 978 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: WI
emotiona hell
Member
Member # 31781
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, April 17th (Sunday)

Our daughter is getting married in about a month.It has been difficult to plan the wedding while working on R in my marriage. Please pray that I am able to enjoy here day.



Me BS 41
WH 43
DS 12 DD 21
Married 23 years
DDay 6/26/10
Filed for divorce 11/23/11

Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2011
Rise_Above
Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, April 18th (Monday)


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
wifeno2
Member
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, May 12th (Thursday)

I feel selfish asking for a prayer for myself but I'm hurting today. Thank you!


Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
Rise_Above
Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, May 12th (Thursday)

(((wifeno2))))


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, May 17th (Tuesday)

Father God, I pray that you'll hear & answer every prayer on this board. If it be Your Will I pray that you will remove all ugliness & devastation to each and every hurting soul on here whether it be a BS or WS. Dear Lord please let the relationships (even those that seem broken beyond repair) be restored and healed by Your loving hands. Lord please let me remember that only You are the true vindicator & are a fair God of justice. I pray for the peace & wisdom I know only You can give me. I also pray that you will wrap your loving arms around my DS who is starting to doubt your existence in this ugly mess. Lord I pray for my home & life to be washed clean by Your healing blood. I know You don't like to see "your children" hurting. Please give me Your grace to move ahead in whatever direction YOU want me to go. Again Lord I ask that You wrap your loving arms around each and every SI member. Thank you for prayers answered in advance. In Jesus precious name I pray, Amen.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
dday420
Member
Member # 32133
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, May 17th (Tuesday)

Just asking for prayer. Everyone is welcome to read my story. Thank you!


For better or for worse

Infidelity is a choice. There is no justification.


Posts: 95 | Registered: May 2011 | From: socal
diditagn
Member
Member # 3433
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 23rd (Monday)

This is a prayer that I found helpfull. It's a prayer for intercession from St. Jude, the Saint of the impossible causes.

I hope that this prayer can bring peace to someone.

“Saint Jude, we have problems in our relationship. Beg Almighty God to give us the light to see ourselves and each other as we really are. Help us to grow daily in self-knowledge and mutual love, while at the same time developing our potential to love and be loved. Help us, Saint Jude, to see and root out every manifestation of selfishness, vanity, and childish self-seeking—those hidden enemies of love and maturity. Show us that by learning to love and being filled with love, we may complement and nurture each other as we share our lives together.”


Happy people don't have the best things, they make the best with what they have.

Posts: 1556 | Registered: Feb 2004 | From: WI
trynhard
Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, May 24th (Tuesday)

I wanted to share a miracle.

First, it is a miracle I am still married.

Sunday, May 22, 2011, I gave my W a chance to recommit her fidelity to me after we have worked for 31 months reconciling our relationship. This was the prayer.

Lord, Increase and consecrate the love which “D” and “T” have for one another. The wedding rings they once exchanged are the sign of their fidelity. May they continue to prosper in the grace of the sacrament. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Lord God and Creator, we bless and praise your name. In the beginning you made man and woman, so that they might enter a communion of life and love. You likewise blessed the union of “D” with “T”, so that they might reflect the union of Christ with his Church, look with kindness on them today. Amid the joys and struggles of their life, you have preserved the union between them, renew their marriage covenant, increase your love in them, and strengthen their bond of peace, so that “our children”, they may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Later that day Sunday, my friend of mine, who did not know about our renewal, sent me a picture. It was the back of our home. Look at that rainbow that happened the same day over my house.

Genesis 9:13: And God said, “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth”

This was no coincidence on the day of our renewing our marriage covenant.

Peace be with you all.

[This message edited by trynhard at 2:49 PM, May 24th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 2684 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
emotiona hell
Member
Member # 31781
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, May 26th (Thursday)

I gave WH the book, How to help your spouse heal from your Affair. Please pray that he reads it.He is not much of a reader. Also pray that he gets what God wants him to get from it.

[This message edited by emotiona hell at 11:24 AM, May 26th (Thursday)]



Me BS 41
WH 43
DS 12 DD 21
Married 23 years
DDay 6/26/10
Filed for divorce 11/23/11

Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2011
Rise_Above
Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, June 21st (Tuesday)

trynhard~ that makes me

emotiona hell~ God, open Mr.eh's heart to hear the words You speak to heal another marriage covenant. Send comfort and love to emotiona and hold her close during this trial of life.


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
rcantbleveit
Member
Member # 30476
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, July 12th (Tuesday)

I spent some time with WH on the 4th. We cuddled up to talk and listen to some music. He didn't ask or want anything other than that.

I went to a cookout at friends and he suggested that I come back over afterwards.

After leaving his house, I realized that 3 prayers had been answered.

I've prayed so much over the last year that sometimes it just feels like God is not listening and I start to doubt, but then the proof that he's not only listening but making things happen shows up and that is amazing.

I'm still praying for a miracle. I want reconciliation & restoration. Everytime I start to give up, something comes along to give me hope. Our God is an awesome God! He can turn around any situation.

I know that H will eventually turn to God and will be saved. My biggest fear is that when he does, he will be with someone else or that he will come back to me but I will have moved on.

I'm so sick of Satan tearing apart marriages/families. Doesn't everyone just get tired of him winning so much? Why can't people see the devastation that happens from affairs and just walk away?

Pray that God will send armies of angels into every marriage/family for protection and give them the strength to make the right choices/decisions.

Thanks to those who have posted their miracles as well as answered prayers.


Posts: 227 | Registered: Dec 2010
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, July 30th (Saturday)

Please pray for my entire family today. Has been a horrible week for myself, my H, and DS21.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Rise_Above
Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, July 30th (Saturday)

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 5:23

We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James 3:2

So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:4


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
heart_in_a_blend
Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 30th (Saturday)

Even though I find myself physically single, I am never spiritually single as God is my husband, my provider, my Helper, my friend. I am never alone as He is my comforter even amongst my loneliness and tears, He will Always be faithful.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
numb82010
New Member
Member # 29691
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, August 15th (Monday)

I'm asking for prayers for my family and myself. My WH and I are in reconciliation, but extremely close to divorce. We both need wisdom and patience. We have 2 very young, precious girls who don't deserve to have a fractured family. Please pray that my WH and I have God's will as our own and that whatever the outcome, our daughters are happier, healthier, and stronger for it. Our family needs peace. Thank you!!


D-day #1: Aug. 20, 2010
D-day #2: June 21, 2011
2 Abandonments through-out 2011
Decision made to divorce Feb. 2012
Decision to reconcile March 2012
3 beautiful girls

Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2010
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, August 15th (Monday)

Praying for peace for you, numb.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17917 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
mrsdwp6
New Member
Member # 33106
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, August 29th (Monday)

Prayers for my husband. That he find peace again. That God will show me new ways to love and cherish him. That the Lord continues to purify and refine me to be the wife and mother my husband and children deserve.


Me: WS
Him: BS
D-Day: 8/19/11
Working hard for R.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Aug 2011
emotiona hell
Member
Member # 31781
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, September 28th (Wednesday)

I go for another pap test next week.
There was possible cancer cells on the first.I know you can have a false- positive.And there may be no need to worry.I believe I should start with prayer first, so please pray that everything is ok.



Me BS 41
WH 43
DS 12 DD 21
Married 23 years
DDay 6/26/10
Filed for divorce 11/23/11

Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2011
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 28th (Wednesday)

My IC (a Christian, like me - or at least like I was six months ago...hard to say now) wants me to pray for the strength to pray for my STBXH. I'm not sure I even have that in me.

I need prayers for strength, healing, and faith.

I'm in a very broken/angry place and having trouble accepting that I still need the Lord in my life.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13813 | Registered: Jul 2011
shocked4
Member
Member # 33447
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, September 29th (Thursday)

I am so glad I found this post. It feels like faith is the only thing that will get me through this. My prayers are with you all.


D-Day August 17, 2011
M-23 years
4 children ages 10-23

Posts: 136 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Ohio
Laura28
Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, October 13th (Thursday)

Hi

I'm bumping this thread for a devout friend who needs a lot of help. I have told him about SI and hope he joins the forum soon.

Hugs

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 58Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2755 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
bellamaxjoy
New Member
Member # 32927
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, October 20th (Thursday)

so glad to have found this thread! One of the things that has made it bearable for me is prayer. If I did not have the Lord to lean on, I would be so lost.
Amazonia, I am praying that you remember that God says He will NEVER leave you or forsake you.
Please pray for my husband to continue to be convicted of his wrong doing, and that he is open and honest during this reconciliation time. Please pray that I only respond to him in the way God wants me to. Pray for physical healing as well

Posts: 31 | Registered: Jul 2011
npain
Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, October 20th (Thursday)

I pray daily with one of the ministers fom my church and it's really helping me to get through this rough time. My WH is totally remorseful/unrepentful and I'm parying for God to break him and take the scales off his eyes so he can see what he has done to me, his children and all those involved (he cheated for 4 yrs with another woman in our church so her family is badly affected too). He is still blameshifting and acting like he is the victim and everyone else needs to change. May God have mercy on his soul.


S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

Posts: 515 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
rcantbleveit
Member
Member # 30476
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, October 29th (Saturday)

I continue to pray for everyone that has been through this nightmare.

I pray that reconciliation and restoration happens for every marriage.

I pray for the WS to realize what they have done to their spouses and families.

I pray that the BS can forgive and continue loving.

I pray that if none of the above happens, that God will hold us closer & heal us in order that we may love and be loved again.

So far, God has answered so many of my prayers, it's been freaky. The one prayer he hasn't answered is bringing WS home.

I heard that God is not going to give you something that is not good for you so I pray that he change WS heart and shows him how to come home again.


Posts: 227 | Registered: Dec 2010
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, December 22nd (Thursday)

Praying for all of us today.
Lord grant us strength through these times.
Praying for woundedby2 and her little ones and dad.
Her mother passed away this morning.
Lord lift us, give us strength.

Posts: 6684 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, January 22nd (Sunday)

praying for you guys.

Please pray for me and family, that we get through a difficult time. Specifically if you could pray through psalm 91, aloud, on our behalf, that would be a great gift. I am being led to pray aloud through Scriptures, especially in intercession and I think it does make a difference in some way, even if it is just to strengthen our own faith.

__________________


Let us dwell in the secret place of the Most High and remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].

Help us to say of You, "He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!"

Deliver us from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

Cover us with Your pinions. Under Your wings let us trust and find refuge; Your truth and Your faithfulness are a shield and a buckler.

Let us not be afraid of the terror of the night, nor of the arrow (the evil plots and slanders of the wicked) that flies by day,

Nor of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor of the destruction and sudden death that surprise and lay waste at noonday.

Even though a thousand may fall at our side, and ten thousand at our right hand, let it not come near us.

You said "Only a spectator shall you be [yourself inaccessible in the secret place of the Most High] as you witness the reward of the wicked."

We believe that and choose to trust you, let us walk in that truth.

We make YOU our refuge, and the Most High our dwelling place,

Let no evil befall us, nor any plague or calamity come near our tent.

Give Your angels [especial] charge over us to accompany and defend and preserve us in all our ways [of obedience and service].

They shall bear us up on their hands, lest we dash our feet against a stone.

Let us tread upon the lion and adder; let us trample the young lion and the serpent underfoot.Guide us in paths of righteousness.

Christ set his love upon the Father, therefore you delivered him; We are in Christ, and now we need your deliverance. Deliver us Father. You have set us on high with Him, let us know and understand Your name [have a personal knowledge of Your mercy, love, and kindness--trust and rely on You, knowing You will never forsake us, no, never]

We call upon You now, answer us quickly for we are distressed; be with us in trouble, deliver us and honor us.

With long life satisfy us and show us Your salvation, your Yeshua. We ask all this in the name of Jesus.

thank you Father. Amen

[This message edited by Maia at 10:43 AM, January 22nd (Sunday)]


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, January 23rd (Monday)

Praying psalm 91 for us today.

http://www.pray-the-scriptures.com/praypsalm91today/praypsalmtoday91html.html


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, January 24th (Tuesday)

Praying for you all.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, January 25th (Wednesday)

praying for the staff of SI and for our families.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
remindme11411
Member
Member # 33058
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, January 25th (Wednesday)

I need some prayers. Things have gotten really bad on my end.


BSO - Me (24)
WSO- Him (28)
13 month old DS
Status - not sure most days

Posts: 327 | Registered: Aug 2011
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, January 26th (Thursday)

remind ...adding you to my list.

praying psalm 91 for us again today. If you have need of help, pray it aloud and then when doubt hits you, say aloud the promises of God that you know. or just say... "god is always working"

it is by these spoken acts of faith that we battle spiritually.

if you are struggling today, let this encourage you.


http://youtu.be/ntd18gxdSGk

[This message edited by Maia at 11:32 AM, January 26th (Thursday)]


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
BrokentoPieces10
New Member
Member # 34662
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, January 30th (Monday)

May I please ask for prayers that I will have the courage to continue on the journey of self recovery, maintain NC, and that I will some day find peace within myself and be able to cope with the damage that I have done and feel like a human being again...

I also would like to ask for prayers for my BH...that he will also find peace within himself, and to not blame himself in any way for the pain that I have caused him. That he will regain his pride and feel like the man he was before he found out about my selfish choices.

My days are hard as hell to get through, but I can't even imagine how hard it is for him.

I just want him to be happy whether that means we will some day be reunited, or that our paths with continue to go separate ways.

Thank you.


WW: (Me) 20
BH: 20
Married: 10/11/2010
D-Day: 1/19/2012 :(
It was a dealbreaker--divorcing..

"After all this has passed, I still will remain. After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain" -The Superchick


Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, January 31st (Tuesday)

Broken, am praying for you and your H. You must forgive yourself.

Praying for us all. Ps 91.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, February 4th (Saturday)

praying


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, February 4th (Saturday)

Sending love and prayers to my SI friends. My heart has been heavy today for all the heartache here. May we heal and be well.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6335 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, February 6th (Monday)

praying through my list for you guys.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, February 8th (Wednesday)

praying.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, February 9th (Thursday)

A new prayer!! Psalm 17 for us. I think I am going to do them both (91 and 17) for a while.

Hear me, LORD, my plea is just;
listen to my cry.
Hear my prayer—
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
Let my vindication come from you;
may your eyes see what is right.

Though you probe my heart,
though you examine me at night and test me,
you will find that I have planned no evil;
my mouth has not transgressed.
Though people tried to bribe me,
I have kept myself from the ways of the violent
through what your lips have commanded. My steps have held to your paths; my feet have not stumbled.

I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked who are out to destroy me, from my mortal enemies who surround me.

They close up their callous hearts,
and their mouths speak with arrogance. They have tracked me down, they now surround me, with eyes alert, to throw me to the ground.

They are like a lion hungry for prey, like a fierce lion crouching in cover.

Rise up, LORD, confront them, bring them down; with your sword rescue me from the wicked. By your hand save me from such people, LORD, from those of this world whose reward is in this life.
May what you have stored up for the wicked fill their bellies; may their children gorge themselves on it, and may there be leftovers for their little ones.

As for me, I will be vindicated and will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, February 15th (Wednesday)

praying for us.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, February 17th (Friday)

praying for us.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, February 28th (Tuesday)

praying.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, March 12th (Monday)

Father,

I just lift up to you the hearts of those gathered here and ask for your spirit to fall and for hope and faith, for love and blessing. I ask for an outpouring of your grace and mercy to stand and for resolution, understanding, clarity and lie. I ask that we might walk in the truth and live in the truth and not be hindered or deceived by lies. I ask for that hedge of protection around us and for your angels to guard all our paths. I ask for joy.

in the name of Jesus

amen

[This message edited by Maia at 8:36 PM, March 12th (Monday)]


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, March 17th (Saturday)

St Patricks Breastplate - for the families here. Praying it now, I hope you will join me.

_______

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever.
By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;*
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet 'well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

_______________________________________


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, March 28th (Wednesday)

Prayers for all on SI.
Love you guys.

Here's a site of Christian/inspirational videos I found. Pretty much a cryfest for me. They're good tears.

http://www.godvine.com/Christian-Athlete-Takes-a-Fall-But-Still-Wins-the-Race-378.html


Posts: 6684 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
GoodFaith
Member
Member # 28249
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, March 30th (Friday)

I originally posted this in General forum, but here is a good home.

I came accross this prayer about a year ago. I keep a copy in my wallet. I've often found it helpful to relieve anger, depression, and stress.
But to be honest there's been quite a few times it didn't help - but I found it helped the more I persevered.

Needless to say, I've got it completely memorized by now and have modified it for my situation.

Here's the generic version.

Father I choose to forgive in obedience to you and your word. I forgive (_______) for (_________) and ask you to make that forgiveness real and complete in me as you lift off the layers of hurt. Father give me the strength and willingness to persevere in choosing forgiveness until it is accomplished in me by your Holy power.

Father, I let go of all anger, resentment, bitterness and judgements in my heart. Wash me clean with the blood of Jesus.

Help me to look with compassion on the sinner. Renew a right spirit within me.

Bless those who hurt me. I release them to your care.

I forgive as Jesus forgives me.

In His glorious name, Amen.


BH (me) 51
FWW (CSA)44
3 Kids 17-23
DDay1 - 01/08/08 finaly found proof but still denied all.
DD2 31/08/2009 admited 4 cheats - one total stranger
DD3 20/01/2010 admitted 3 more

Posts: 311 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Ontario
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, March 30th (Friday)

Now that's a beautiful prayer!

I knew right away that I couldn't forgive so I asked him to do it for me.

Pretty cool. He did it. not me.
Praise HIM! not me.


Posts: 6684 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Blindsided37
Member
Member # 25963
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, April 3rd (Tuesday)

Prayer Changes Things!

It is so true!


WS: Him (62)BS: Me (59)
Married 36 yrs - 2 Grown children
DDay: May 23,09 DDay #2: 9/09
R: Slowly...


Posts: 557 | Registered: Oct 2009
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, April 4th (Wednesday)

praying for you guys this morning.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, April 8th (Sunday)

Happy Easter. Lifting you all up this morning.


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
BoardPearl
Member
Member # 25463
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, April 8th (Sunday)

Dear Lord,

I pray for the people suffering now and you know their heart. You know their plea for help and their pain.

Take away their worries and sorrows and let it give space in their lives. Take it and make it into something good. Something they can deal with in the long run. Something that brings peace to their hearts.

Make them aware of their courage and strength, Lord. So that they can walk through this step by step.

Protect them and stand by them.

I pray for those who are suffering. Who are asking for prayers. Make it known that you protect and want the best for their loved ones.

Amen.


Posts: 1116 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Europe
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, April 9th (Monday)

Father this morning I pray for truth. I pray for truth in the inmost heart in the hearts of the couples represented on this board, I pray that the spirit of truth would come and rest upon them. I pray that they would not deceive themselves or each other in any minute way but that they would see the truth, accept the truth, live in light of the truth and reject deception in all its forms. I ask for truth.

I also ask for grace father. I ask for grace poured out in abundance on the lives and hearts and marriages and children presented here, that it could be both received and extended. That it would be perceived. That it could be accepted and that it would do its transforming work. I ask for grace and truth.
and you know that means I'm asking you to show up. Because you are grace and truth.

and I know that you will. thank you Lord.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, April 10th (Tuesday)

Help us to hear your voice and obey it, and to love this day.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
heart_in_a_blend
Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, April 10th (Tuesday)

“I WILL PILOT THREE”

“Sometimes, when my faith would falter
And no sun-light I can see;
I just lift mine eyes to Jesus
And I whisper, “Pilot me.”

Often, when my soul is weary
And the days seem, oh, so long.
I just look up to my Pilot
And I hear this blessed song;

Fear thou not, for I’ll be with thee
I will still thy pilot be;
Never mind the tossing billows,
Take my hand and trust in Me.”

When temptations’ round me gather
And I almost lost my way,
Somehow, in the raving tempest,
I can hear my Saviour say,

When I come to Jordan’s river
And its troubled waters see,
On the brink I’ll see my Saviour
And I know He’ll pilot me.

Fear thou not, for I’ll be with thee
I will still thy pilot be;
Never mind the tossing billows,
Take my hand trust in Me.”

Mrs. Emily D. Wilson


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
apeppersmith
Member
Member # 35050
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, April 14th (Saturday)

Lord, with this exhale I release to you my sins. I release my hurt and my fear and my doubt. With my next breath, fill me please with the Holy Spirit. Teach me to be strong and to forgive as you have commanded. Hold my hand and guide me through it until I can do it myself.

Help the other families here. Fill them as well that they may breathe easier and walk more freely in your love and forgiveness. Teach all of us how.

Through you all things are possible, I know that Lord, but help me live it.
Amen


Me- BS 29
Him- WH 29
kids- 5 boy and 3.5 year old old girl.
D-Day August 2010.
TT 4/11/12
M to a rugsweeping pro. "If you hide the dog shit under the rug, the room may look nice but it still smells like shit"

Posts: 291 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Michigan
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, April 16th (Monday)

Father,

I ask for your Life to shine forth today, Your Word and your Spirit, to pour out on each family here and grant mercy and peace, wisdom and hope. I ask this in Jesus name and for his glory,

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, April 17th (Tuesday)

Father in heaven,

I ask for a renewal and a pouring forth of your healing on each family represented here today.

Amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, April 24th (Tuesday)

Father, speak to the hearts of those here with the words that they need. Inspire conversations, with you and through you to those they love. Bring your healing.

Amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
looking forward
Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, April 24th (Tuesday)

Thanks, Maia, for bringing this thread back to page 1.
I carry this little poem in my wallet. It's printed on a laminated card 2" x 3.5".

The Cross in my Pocket
I carry a cross in my pocket
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I am a Christian
No matter where I may be.

This little cross is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm.
It isn't meant to protect me.
From every physical harm.

It's not for identification
For all the world to see.
It's simply an understanding
Between my Savior and me.

When I put my hand in my pocket
To bring out a coin or key.
The cross is there to remind me
Of the price He paid for me.

It reminds me, too, to be thankful
For my blessings day by day
And strive to serve Him better
In all that I do and say.

It's also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who know my Master
And give themselves to His care.

So, I carry a cross in my pocket
Reminding no one but me
That Jesus Christ is Lord of my life Him be.


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
lostsuol
Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, May 12th (Saturday)

Thanks for the prayer support of this forum.

...bringing this thread back to page 1


Posts: 814 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)

Father,

thank you for the encouragement you have poured on me today and for speaking to me about hope.

LORD, speak to the hearts of those desperate wounded souls here who desperately need your mercy and love. And grant your favor and redemption on each family represented here. give provision where it is needed and healing for the wounds.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, May 27th (Sunday)

Father, please bring healing to the BSs today.
especially to my husband.

let the wounds we have caused them become honor scars, memorials to love and strength and redemption and healing... Not shameful reminders of hate, touchy points of accusation and hidden anger. amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, May 29th (Tuesday)

Father,

I don't even know where to begin.

thank you for your mercy.

please help us. I know you see the pain. I claim the mercy and strength you have already provided, for the day. Grant us the grace to receive them.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, May 31st (Thursday)

Father,

I claim the marriages and families here for your kingdom, your will be done.

Amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, June 1st (Friday)

Father, pour forth the Spirit of the Lord let us receive your good news. I proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, release for the oppressed in the mighty name of Jesus.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, June 3rd (Sunday)

Father, my prayer today is for DS and MH and all of the staff here, that you provide, protect, shelter and guide them in all their ways.

thank you

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, July 7th (Saturday)

First, I pray for willingness from my Higher Power (who I will call God).

God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change about myself-- my addiction, and the painful consequences of the terrible things I've done.

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can change about myself-- my addictive cycle, maintaining sobriety, focusing my daily decision on important values (empathy, integrity and family), and surrendering resentments to you before they fester.

God, grant me the wisdom to understand the difference between the things I can change and the things I cannot. I can't fix everything that is wrong.

God, help me to remember to talk to you today, tomorrow, the next day, and the day after.

God, help me to love myself.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, July 15th (Sunday)

God, I pray for help.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, July 17th (Tuesday)

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Lord, make my life according to Your will. I have spent almost 31 years trying to make it by my will, thinking that I know better. Help me to give it over to You.

Give us this day our daily bread.

You bless me with so much, Lord. A good job that puts a roof over my head and food in my mouth. The health of my XH and my family. The rebuilding of past hurt relationships and the building of new ones.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Please forgive me, Lord, for my sins, both grievous and trivial. Forgive me for committing adultery and breaking the most sacred bond You created. Forgive me for all I have done and all I have failed to do. Help me to do better. And help me to forgive others for their negative acts against me. No one is perfect, Lord; no one is without sin. Help me to look on others with the same grace and mercy that You have shown me.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Lord, protect and defend me from all temptation that leads to sin, physically as well as in my mind. Help me to stay on the path to goodness, righteousness, willingness to work, patience and virtue.

For the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory are yours, now and forever. Amen.

Amen.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2251 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, July 21st (Saturday)

God-- help me to remember to talk to you. to soften me so I trust you. to help me to think to thank you or the good moments and not just ask for help in the challenging ones. to show me the right things to do. to give me to the courage to do what is right.

God-- help me to make the next best decision. help me to not get overwhelmed with what I cannot control. help me to accept life on life's terms

God-- I pray for J. protect her because I can't. allow her to know your will and to find contentment in it. I hope your will brings her joy and happiness.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
MartlArts
Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, July 23rd (Monday)

Wow! The Recovery Prayer (May 2010) really speaks to me. I have been struggling with bitterness & resentment too long. Even though I am blessed with an adoring repentent spouse, I begrudged what little attention he gave to a would-be OW before he backed away from her. When he is complimenting me or stroking my face lovingly, I would find myself wishing SHE could see or hear it. I would dredge up old hurts from my S during the day and focus on bitterness. It doesn't help that I have an almost photographic memory, so I NEVER forget old hurts. But last night I asked God to help me to see things differently, to truly forgive and focus on what matters now. This morning I feel so at peace - still remember all this stuff, but dispassionately and without anger. Praise him! And please pray that this continues. (((Hugs to all)))


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 1003 | Registered: Jul 2012
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, August 1st (Wednesday)

God, it's hard for me not to tell you what your will is-- I want to. I want to pray to you for outcomes and to wish my wishes so that they may come true. I want what I want most of the time... and my wants are only going to materialize if what I want happens to coincide with your will.

I'm tired of being disappointed and wrong; I want YOUR will, God. I pray for willingness to have faith in you-- that your will is something I accept without knowing what it is or understanding it. I think that coincides with the serenity I've been taught to pray for-- to accept the things I cannot change. I cannot change your will, God. I know that.

I'm concerned about J, God. I want her to heal from my infidelity-- I want her to know peace and confidence and love... I want that to be your will, because that is what I want for her. God, please help calm me and soften me to your will. I can't control this. I want to contact her and try to control everything and make this all better. It's so scary, God... I want to trust you. I pray for willingness to surrender all of my shit, God-- to trust you. Please help me to trust you.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
bloodstream
Member
Member # 32999
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, August 20th (Monday)

I pray for strength in my marriage, Lord. Please help us both make you the center of our lives and marriage. I pray that you provide us resolve to move forward with the true healing that I know only comes from your love and unending grace. We are so unworthy, yet you love us still..... thank you. Thank you for who you are and for all that you do for us.

Amen.


me: heartbroken
him: the one who did it
in R

Posts: 90 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Just South Of There....
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, August 21st (Tuesday)

God, please help J. please please please please.... don't let me have ruined her, please. Please give her strength. Please give her peace. Please give her hope for her future relationships. Please, god-- I don't know how else to pray for this. I know you don't grant wishes, but I'm so scared, God. I'm so scared. Is it okay to ask for things for other people, God?... I don't want this for myself. I want her to be better-- if that means moving on from me, then I pray for your will, God. Please watch over her and protect her, because I cannot.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, August 23rd (Thursday)

Father,

thank you for hearing us. Thank you for your promises. You said "if anyone lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives bountifully and without reproach and it will be given."

Lord, give us wisdom. Show us how to love. Show us how to live. Show us how to overcome our own flesh and to live guided by You and Your heart.

Father provide your Spirit in an outpouring of grace for us this day and let us walk in the freedom you so dearly bought for us. Help us to live in that freedom, unfettered by shame and bitterness and resentment and anguish. Heal us Lord.

grant us your favor and blessing and life, your cunning and your motives, your desires, your truth.

in Jesus name

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
NeverLoseHope
New Member
Member # 36605
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, August 25th (Saturday)

Tonight, as I join this support site as a new member, I will say my prayers here.

Dear God,

My husband is my world, my strength, my hope, my joy, my everything. I pray for him so deeply, with intense love, gratitude, empathy, and hope. I pray for him to find peace, clarity, closure, and faith. I pray that he will open his arms and heart to me and allow me to be there for him, always. I pray for him to have the strength to be patient and to have faith that we can work through this, slowly and hand in hand. I pray that he sees the love and commitment in my heart, the passion and actions to show that he, and our beautiful children, are the commitment that I will always live for, love for, and dedicate all of myself to.

Dear God... I pray for our relationship and strength. I pray we can put faith in each other and make this journey together. I love him with all of my heart.

Thank you, I believe in you, I trust you, and I pray that you believe in me. Amen.


I hit rock bottom... I am determined that my rock bottom will be the solid foundation on which I build my life.

He means everything to me... always has, always will.


Posts: 3 | Registered: Aug 2012
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, August 30th (Thursday)

God, thank you for helping to keep me focused on you these past few days. I feel stronger because I believe in you, and I believe you hear me when I speak to you... usually :) Letting you back into my life wasn't painful and it was only scary at first-- thank you for your grace and your willingness to let yourself be known by me.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, August 30th (Thursday)

Praying for you (((nealos))) and everyone who is in need. May the Lord bless you all and keep you safe.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9771 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Maia
Member
Member # 8268
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, August 31st (Friday)

Father thank you, thank you for these dear souls who are seeking life and redemption and compassion and strength. Thank you for this place where You move in your love to help them. Thank you for each family and thank you for the work you are already doing to heal.

Lord I lift up each member right now and ask for your healing love and grace to pour out like a flood.

amen


We will miss you Unicornsearcher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

Posts: 6158 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: I am a Bluegrass-American
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, September 2nd (Sunday)

Dear Lord. Please help.


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, September 3rd (Monday)

God-- relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I may better do thy will. Please guide me from this feeling of uselessness.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
lost2012
Member
Member # 35325
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, September 9th (Sunday)

Sending prayers to all of you on here! I like to pray that your spouses "get struck by lightning" and they realize what they are losing. Can I ask for lots of prayers too? Dday for me was about 6 months ago. He has seen an IC for about a month. He moved out two months ago.He will not go to MC with me. He says he will work on himself. It's my fault he got validation from her, and if he's just a friend in his head, what is wrong with that? You can read my profile, but basically they took our kids out on weekends when I work 12 hours as a nurse, and he called her every day. I'm going out of town for a week and he wants to file for D when I get back. My only hope is that I went to a new counselor this week who suggested that I have him come in and talk to my counselor about how awful I am and how to fix me, and hopefully he can be convinced that it took two. Cuz I'm a crazy nag and I dont let things go and I certainly wont let this go.so it's all my fault.So I know anything can be accomplished through Christ, or Christ just has different plans for me and my children.


Dday- March 1, 2012
M 17 years
EA? 4 years
2 boys ages 10 and 12
Divorced- 12/17/2012

Posts: 118 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Illinois
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 10th (Monday)

Father, allow nealos to feel Your presence, Your compassion and love. Fill nealos with Your wisdom and guidance.

Father, I pray for lost2012 that you lead her according to Your will, that you fill her with comfort and strength and wisdom. Watch over her children and keep them safe and protected. I also pray for her WH, that You open his heart to the truth of his actions and help him face them.

Amen.

--

Can I request prayers too. I'm sort of falling apart anew, worse perhaps than DDay. Long, horrendous panic attacks. Fear of everything that's paralyzingly me.. A WH who's so extremely foggy who's still seeing / talking to OW.. "just friends" but "just friends" don't have fantasies about being married! My heart hurts..figuratively AND literally. I'm lost

[This message edited by justjul at 12:51 PM, September 10th (Monday)]


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

I keep getting shattered over and over again. I feel so alone, so lost..


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
crushed again
Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, September 15th (Saturday)

Sending up immediate prayers to Father God for everyone on here. Our God is Soveriegn and YES, He cares.


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, September 18th (Tuesday)

God, thank you for the insights you've revealed to me these past few weeks. Thank you for the healthy relationships you've opened up in my life. Thank you for not giving up me when I gave up on you.

Please grant me courage to change the things about myself that I can change-- help to swiftly understand your will for me. Soften me to your love... help me find you within.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
ShellyBean2012
Member
Member # 36268
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, September 19th (Wednesday)

Please pray that I will get a full-time job soon. If I don't find FT work soon, I don't know what I'll do.

I'm so scared.


Me: BW (44 yo then); Him: WH (46 yo); No kids
DDay: 6-15-12
M 13.5 yrs; T 14 yrs (at the time)

Onward!


Posts: 225 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: the South
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, September 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you, Father, for sending me messengers to remind me that, yes, You are with me and I am not alone. I needed and continue to need that.

Continue, Lord, to guide nealos, to show him Your will. Let him know Your presence and ever powerful, constant love for him.

Comfort ShellyBean, Father, in this time of uncertainty, because even though we don't know what will happen, You do. You know our needs and You will always, always provide. Open doors of opportunity for her so that she may find a fulltime job, Lord. Bring her into a place where she will not only be a blessing, but receive blessings as well.

Amen.


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
ShellyBean2012
Member
Member # 36268
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, September 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you, Justjul.

Father, I ask that you give us all what we need right when we need it most: your comfort, your forgiveness, your strength, and your protection.

Help me be a blessing to another.


Me: BW (44 yo then); Him: WH (46 yo); No kids
DDay: 6-15-12
M 13.5 yrs; T 14 yrs (at the time)

Onward!


Posts: 225 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: the South
ptsdrecon
Member
Member # 36031
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, September 20th (Thursday)

I pray and pray for God to keep his hand on me. Please add me and my wife and family to your prayers.

I have been in IC since right before DD, and it is helping me to get out a lot of pain and my emotions are all over the map. (Crying, sobbing, laughing, laughing and sobbing at the same time...) I finally said it out loud... She broke my heart. As most of you know, the pain is excruciating. Lord, bless me indeed...

Please pray for my wife. She is struggling and just started IC. She is trying to focus on herself and is facing difficult things. When I broke down last night she said, "Would it be easier for you if I leave?" Not easy for me to hear, but her pain and fear hurt me and add uncertainty...

The OM was supposed to be our friend. That adds to both our hurts... We are not joining intimately either, so please pray for us to be bound together as God intends and when he intends it.

I pray for strength, compassion and Grace for us both... Please lift us up!


Me BH (48)
Her FWW (39 + 1/2)
Married 12+
2 Angels 8 10
D-Day Feb 1 2012
6 month EA PA

Posts: 159 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)

Sending a prayer up for everyone here, for continued strength and comfort, for discernment and wisdom, for forgiveness and love.


Would like to add my prayer request for a job, too.


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
windows
Member
Member # 14054
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, September 24th (Monday)

Dear God,
Please help me find our cat. And please tell him I am sorry I made him move....:(. Please keep him safe...Me

Posts: 400 | Registered: Mar 2007
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, September 29th (Saturday)

Windows, did you find your cat? *hugs*


I'm lost again. I'm feeling numb...Had been hoping for some sign... And instead got the opposite. I know it is not to be my will... But I'm feeling lost...I don't know where to go from here.


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
justjul
Member
Member # 36383
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, October 3rd (Wednesday)

The pain is too much, Lord. It's too much.


DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: On the other side of the world (most likely)
ShellyBean2012
Member
Member # 36268
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, October 7th (Sunday)

Dear Lord,

Please comfort justjul. Let her rest in the palm of your hand and feel your strength during this rough time.

Lord, please strengthen all of us suffering during our difficult situations. Let us know that you are with us and holding us up as we move forward in our lives.

And please please send me a job with healthcare soon so I can support myself.

I ask for all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.


Me: BW (44 yo then); Him: WH (46 yo); No kids
DDay: 6-15-12
M 13.5 yrs; T 14 yrs (at the time)

Onward!


Posts: 225 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: the South
DontTreadOnMe
Member
Member # 35240
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, October 11th (Thursday)

I'm writing here to request prayer. My wife and I are madhatters. Her DDay was very recent. I'm praying that she is able to heal, and finds forgiveness some day. I'm also praying for help in my recovery from addiction. Thanks fellow SIers.


Me: WH/BH, 27 (addict in recovery)
Her: Lost333, BW/FWW, My DDay: 2/19/12, Hers: 9/29/12

Working on myself through IC, NA meetings, intensive outpatient program, and lots of digging. Praying for R.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, November 13th (Tuesday)

god please help me to be patient-- please hep me to trust in your will


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, November 17th (Saturday)

I'm scared, God. I want to surrender my will to you-- please grant me the strength and courage to do that. Please protect and care for J.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, November 20th (Tuesday)

God please help me make it through today.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
Missymomma
Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, November 20th (Tuesday)

I do believe in the power of prayer. Don't know if anyone is reading this thread, it seems quite old. Please pray for a member whose SA husband raped and beat her. Please pray for her recovery and safety.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
Ready_to_run
Member
Member # 20954
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, November 20th (Tuesday)

A prayer going out here, Missy.

Lord please be with this woman in her time of need and let her know that she did nothing to deserve this. Watch over her and keep her safe. SA is such an insidious addiction and excruciatingly painful for the victims. Please help her husband to do whatever it takes to get the help that he needs. Let your will be done, lord, we trust you to make all wrongs right. Amen.


BH
Divorced


Posts: 750 | Registered: Sep 2008
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, November 21st (Wednesday)

Prayers for all who need them...

Lord, we ask You for Your blessings and help for everyone who needs You. Please wrap all who cry for You in Your arms. Amen.

For Thanksgiving:

"Give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 107.1


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2251 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
putonahappyface
Member
Member # 30269
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, November 27th (Tuesday)

Sending up a prayer for everyone who needs a boost today! And asking for prayers that God will send either a CSAT or a great IC to my WH. He is looking & trying so hard, & anyone remotely qualified is gone or fully booked. And I could use some IC too... Thanks, & Blessings to all!


BS (me) - 50; SAWH- 51 (hurtherbadly)
Married 27 yrs
2 DS - 21&17
Dday 6/4/2010. 2 EA/PA
11/15/12 update: discovered porn addiction
4 years out: M is strong; FWH is a new man :)


Posts: 721 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Bluegrass
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, December 12th (Wednesday)

Thank you for willingness. I know from my past that I do not have what it takes to do this alone. Thank you thank you thank you.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, December 26th (Wednesday)

god, I feel disconnected. I know it's my fault. I pray that I recognize your will when you show it to me, and I pray that you remain present in my daily choices.

god, also be with J. If she's sad like I am, I pray that you comfort her. I pray for her happiness-- that has to be your will, right?


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
putonahappyface
Member
Member # 30269
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, December 26th (Wednesday)

Nealos~ I just happened to read most of your story/posts in the Wayward forum started by Missing. I can't post there, but I just wanted to tell you that I admire your strength & courage. I'm rooting for you, & I do believe you'll beat this addiction & find peace, joy & happiness again.

My WH's story is so very similar to yours, with a few exceptions. He's on day 42 of his sobriety & 12 step program. He shares your determination to break the chains of his porn addiction, so I find myself cheering for you the same as I am for him. I'm sorry for your sadness. I would just encourage you to focus solely on your recovery & your happiness. Keep working the steps, reading & posting.

I wish my H would write things out the way you do, but it's just not his thing. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your words have helped someone. Reading them in some way helped me to understand the struggle, the addiction. And when you described the good people at your 12 step mtg, I thought to myself that my H could be one of those people! He IS a good man; you both are. God's forgiveness & grace is available to both of you. Best of luck to you on your journey of healing & recovery. I'll keep you in my prayers. (((Nealos)))


BS (me) - 50; SAWH- 51 (hurtherbadly)
Married 27 yrs
2 DS - 21&17
Dday 6/4/2010. 2 EA/PA
11/15/12 update: discovered porn addiction
4 years out: M is strong; FWH is a new man :)


Posts: 721 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Bluegrass
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, January 1st (Tuesday)

god,
please grant me the courage to stay sober another day.
please grant me the willingness and strength to reach out to when I don't want to.
please be with J and help her today.


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, January 1st (Tuesday)

God thank you for everything that has happened in my life. I would not be who I am if I had not been where I had been.

Please help others here find that acceptance, faith, and peace that you have given me.

Please help me not to forget that every minute is a miracle.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
shocked4
Member
Member # 33447
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, January 21st (Monday)

I have not been here for a while, but for the first few months I spent hours upon hours on here. It was exptremely helpful. To find out I was not alone was so comforting. I turned to God out of so much pain. The Lord has taken me on an incredible journey. I do not want to offend anyone. I will say I have been blogging about my experience. In no way do I benefit if anybody reads it. It is from a Christian perspective. I just want to offer it if anyone may find it helpful. The site is free and has an amazing community of believers.

http://www.prayerrequest.com/blog/255-chiltons-blog/

I continue to pray all your wounds be healed and the Lord gives You his strength and guidance.


D-Day August 17, 2011
M-23 years
4 children ages 10-23

Posts: 136 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Ohio
Fidelia
Member
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Please be praying for us. I'm scared that I want this more than WH. But most of all I'm scared because WH (former preacher) seems to have lost all faith in God as part of the discovery of the affairs.

I'm so lonely at church each Sunday, wanting him back sitting beside me. I just want him to know how much God loves him.


Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me


Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Hugs and prayers sent


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)

Hugs and prayers sent


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
Fidelia
Member
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, February 10th (Sunday)

Thank you.

I've had a rough week emotionally, feeling near the end of my tether. Please be praying for us.


Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me


Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
SweetheartVixen
Member
Member # 4956
Default  Posted: 4:01 AM, February 12th (Tuesday)

I will pray for you all and hope it is returned back to me also. Ive had an emotionally draining week with severe wmotional abuse which was done to me.


BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14


Posts: 3104 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: somewhere over the rainbow
phoenix_vs
Member
Member # 29193
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, February 17th (Sunday)

Answered prayer: My alcoholic WBF hit bottom three weeks ago. He's been there many times, this time, I had hit bottom, too. He didn't know I have been praying for him for a long time, praying that God will help him become the person He wants him to be. We've been together for ten years, but I was starting to look for a place to move. I couldn't take it anymore.

Long story short, there was a crisis, following which he has stopped drinking, and kept saying "I feel released, like I'm out of prison, I've never felt like this the other times I stopped drinking." It was then I knew that God had delivered him and broken the chains that have bound him for so long. He isn't out of the woods yet, he went for so long without eating that he has lost the ability to walk. He has numerous health problems related to alcohol abuse.

Me, I am exhausted. I pray for God to protect his newly cleansed spirit, and to help him heal, and sometimes I say, "please help him, because I don't feel like it, and I know that You care way more than I do right now."

Even though emotionally, I need to heal as much as he does, I rejoice and thank God for His deliverance. Truly a miracle of answered prayer.

I hope this story of God's power and grace encourages you to keep praying boldly. Take care of yourself, and let God deal with him (or her).

Blessings to all.


I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.


Posts: 371 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Great Falls Montana
nealos
Member
Member # 35284
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, March 2nd (Saturday)

thank you, god


31yo WS-SA

“When we disclose the thought and intents of our hearts in surrender, we identify with one another at depth.”


Posts: 258 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: 5280'
sparklingwater
Member
Member # 38792
Default  Posted: 4:23 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)

I would like to thank god that my faith has been renewed through this tough time. I am truly humbled to be able to give all of my situation over to him, and allow him to have total control of my life. I have felt at breaking point but he has gently reminded me that he has never left me, but is instead holding me in his arms.

He has blessed me with unexpected finances and miracles. I have learnt that he works in totally unexpected ways, and that when I can't see a way out, he has it all in control.

Thanks be to god for his never ending love.

[This message edited by sparklingwater at 4:25 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]


Newly single and trying to find my feet.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.


Posts: 104 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Australia
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, April 13th (Saturday)

After watching the movie Fireproof, there is a parasite in my marriage.

Please pray that the blood of Jesus Christ can prevent satan from overcoming my marriage.

Oh heavenly Father, there are many here who want to do your Will, I pray that you may work in their lives to heal and show them your wisdom. We are waiting on you Lord. Reveal your path for their lives. In Jesus Christ's name. Amen.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, April 15th (Monday)

Amen


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of good will.

We praise You, we bless You, we adore You, we glorify You. We give you thanks for Your great glory.

Lord God, Heavenly King, O God, Almighty Father.

Lord Jesus Christ, Only Begotten Son. Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father. You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. You take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer. You are seated at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us.

For You alone are the Holy One, You alone are the Lord. You alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ. With the Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father.

Amen.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 8:05 PM, May 19th (Sunday)]


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2251 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Cyzygy
New Member
Member # 39437
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)

I am asking for prayers that the Holy Spirit touch my WH's heart.

Thank you so much.


Me: 37, BS
Him: 39, WH
Married: 6 years, together for 9 years
2 boys, ages 3 & 4, he has a 15yo we never see
DDay: 5/21/13 (OW is a coworker at Walmart...he quit on Dday.)

Posts: 25 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Columbus, OH
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:02 AM, August 5th (Monday)

Hi, I'm new to this thread but not SI.
A little background.
Almost 4yrs ago confirmed DD. Suspected for 3yrs I knew ow. I'm pretty sure its PA but since I only found hundreds of texts between them on phone bill, he only admitted to that. 2yrs later I found he's still having daily contact, it never stopped.
Something.is wrong with me because I can't discuss this with him. I'm pretending I don't know. I'm not afraid of him, I just can't go it. I'm watching him spiral into a severe porn addiction now on top of the A. He's looking at hook up sites.I don't know if he's meeting ppl or just looking. I'm watching all this but can't confront him. I know he's going to be embarrassed and ashamed andits really hard for me to see that in anybody. We used to go to church, very involved. He stopped going before A started. I feel like he's going down in flames and I'm just standing there with nothing coming out.of my mouth.
Please pray for me to snap into reality and bring this into the light and out of the dark. I need to find my voice. Please pray for my family because I don't know what's going yo happen to.us. thank you


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5174 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Prayers sent.

I found my voice by having faith.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
jk5366
New Member
Member # 39140
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, August 5th (Monday)

Please pray formula mom, who has a biopsy on the 16th of August. There are crystals in her breast. Wtf. I also found out today that my cohort in crime, she plays bells with me in church, is with hospice now. Her cancer is winning. One more, and I don't want to sound selfish, But pray for my h and I. That We make it through this ea mess. Give me strength to push through.
Thank you.


This sucks.

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: MI
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:52 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)

Thank you Chico. It's weird because I do believe and have faith but I sometimes feel like maybe its not my turn yet..idk I've seen the power of prayer but this sich just isn't moving. Maybe Gods waiting for me to.make a move. The thought of bringing this subject up absolutely freezes me. No words will come out.of my mouth. Thanks again


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5174 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
ifinallyfoundme
Member
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, August 14th (Wednesday)

Just wanted to bump this thread and say GOD does hear our prayers. He has given me all that I needed.

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
HurtButHopeful?
Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

I think I am addicted to the adrenalin I get from reading the terrible stories at SI. It has been 4 years since H's A and 1 1/2 years since Dday2 over porn. He has quit porn, and is transparent about the A.

I think that reading SI is not helping me anymore, but hindering my progress...but I can't stop! Please pray I can quit, and get my endorphins back in order, so I can begin working on changing myself for the better.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
stillstruggle
New Member
Member # 40406
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, August 24th (Saturday)

Needing prayer from many sources right now. Been struggling w/my H's recent OEA w/my long-time BFF. I am deeply hurt and betrayed. I no longer want to loathe and blame myself for what happened and pray for RR in our M and not D. I have been having terrible nightmares about being attacked by demons and growling @ myself in the mirror. Please pray that the Lord gives me peace as he fights these battles for me and patience for my H to turn himself around bcuz he is good and He is good and w/prayer my H can change to become the man I so desire him to be: strong, humble, kind and faithful.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Aug 2013
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, August 24th (Saturday)

Prayers for all of us!!!


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
mixedintherut
Member
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, August 24th (Saturday)

Prayers for all.

When I first found this point, it disappointed me, that it is so slow. Perhaps I was hoping for more of a religion based thread as opposed to just a prayer thread.

Though I truly believe in the power of prayer, and will be praying for everyone!

Please pray for R for our family. The thought of D and ripping our family apart, is the hardest part in all of this!


DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Prayers sent mixedintherut. For you and for all of us.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
LonelyBird461
New Member
Member # 40565
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, September 6th (Friday)

I would like to ask for prayer as I know that only God can reach in to WS heart and melt the stone in there. Only He can covict her of the wrong she has done and open her eyes to truth because she is so wrapped up with the father of lies right now. I would truly appreciate prayer for:

1. My precious children that God would shield their hearts from this hurt and pain and thhat he would show them mercy by drawing near to them.

2. That He would give me strength to seek and follow His will in all that is to come from this day forward. That He would grant me wisdom in how to act and what to say and when.

3. That he would pierce my WW heart and break down her pride that she might be able to admit she was wrong, is wrong and that she is at least willing to try for R.

If you have time, please also pray that I would receive a positive response from the letter I sent her.

Thank you so much! I know there is incredible power in prayer and I intend to lift each of you up as well. May God strengthen each of us, BS and WS alike, to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. We are all sinners and are in need of His abundant grace and mercy.


Posts: 14 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: LonelyBird461
looking forward
Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

For those who have struggled with maintaining sobriety I pray for you.
I pray that this journey continues as long as you breathe life. You can do it
with God's Grace and Love.


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2855 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 4:56 AM, September 16th (Monday)

Prayers sent (((lonelybird461)))

(((Looking forward))) I say that same prayer multiple times a day, everyday along with thousands of other people. Thank you!!!


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
morethantrying
Member
Member # 40547
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, September 18th (Wednesday)

I am 8 months out but could use prayers. He had two/three affairs and I understand all the "reasons" and I "forgive" him but I struggle with "loving' him again...he is doing everything right...why cant't I feel love for his efforts, why do I struggle still after 8 months..God, help me to see the good he is doing and love him afresh. Married 31 years.


Affairs - hard on us both - but love will win.
Me: BS 55
Him: WS 62
Married 32 yrs.
dday TT from 12/2012-2/2013)...

Posts: 306 | Registered: Sep 2013
SurelyNOT
Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 4:17 AM, October 13th (Sunday)

Cannot sleep and I am struggling. This weekend is Thanksgiving (Canada) and my WH is coming by and gathering his stuff to officially move in with his ap. He works outta town a lot and will be leaving again on Tuesday morning for another out-of-town stint until mid December. So although he is moving in with her, he won't actually be living with her, because his job is some 4000 miles away. The majority of their relationship is done by text/telephone.
At any rate, I still love him and I want him back, and I am absolutely distraught, how can I pick up the pieces of my shattered life and be a good Mom to our two daughters?
He has discarded us and is not in touch, he has no photos, and has requested none. All is lost, I'm afraid.
I pray regularly myself, but at this moment in time, I really could use others' good intentions.
Please pray for my two daughters, that they can be strong and get through this somewhat unscathed, and be happy. If possible, can someone up above shine a beacon that will illuminate the way for me, I feel so lost and alone.
Prayers to all that need them, and strength to bear this terrible burden. May God Bless us All.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, October 13th (Sunday)

(((SurelyNOT)))
Prayers sent for you and your family.

And for all of us!!!


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2647 | Registered: Aug 2012
strongerdaybyday
Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, October 24th (Thursday)

((surelynot)) I''m a little late! But I''ve included u in my prayers. Prayers, strength, guidance and wisdom to all here as well


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
SurelyNOT
Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, November 6th (Wednesday)

^^^^ Thank you so much for your prayers. Rest assured it is NEVER too late for any prayer, I'm afraid I need all the prayers I can get. Boy what a mess, and not of my making.
Your support is appreciated, good luck to you on your journey too.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
Lost15
Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, November 16th (Saturday)

Please pray for myself and DS. For I feel I am going backwards in this. I was in a better place but the last few days have been slipping back into depression. I miss my him so much, at least the man he was. I miss my family. I pray I can be brought out of this again and move forward. I pray that DS finds his way also and starts opening up a little more. I pray that stbxh opens his a heart a little and shows a little remorse, that he stops being so hateful.


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, November 20th (Wednesday)

Almighty God, please support each and every hurting soul on SI. Help the BS find peace and healing. Help the WS to live a life of integrity. Help those who find themselves single parents, and give them strength in their journey. Help those who are separated or divorced to find peace. Help those who are reconciling to find renewed hope and joy in their marriage or relationship. Help us all further strive for a life "on Earth as it is in heaven."

Amen.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2251 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
LostSamurai
Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, January 29th (Wednesday)

Please pray for WW, daughter and Me and our families who are suffering. Everyone is basically held hostage because of this... My WW and Daughter seem to be doing fine, but my daughter has been acting out more and more. Pray for me that I can heal and be strong and God's will...

I want to reconcile some days and some minutes I just want to move on...


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
NikkiD
Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, January 29th (Wednesday)

Father God, I pray for the spirit of confusion to be lifted from all familes that are affected by infidelity. For we know you operate on absolutes and are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. We pray that more of you shows up and less of ourselves. That we be able to act and react in a way that is pleasing to thy sight. Lord, we ask for a measure of patience. For you say that those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. So I pray that we can WAIT on you (serve you) while we wait on you (remain patient).

All these things we ask in your son Jesus's name.. AMEN


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Sending with love and thankfulness to MH &DS for creating this site. Thanks to the tools of 'Platinum' and 'Simplicity', this once was lost but now found:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCdZwitrNoY


Posts: 6684 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 6th (Friday)

Bumping for help on General


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198459 | Registered: May 2002
2ofaKind
New Member
Member # 43576
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, June 18th (Wednesday)

My first post. D-day was exactly 7 weeks ago (almost to the minute) and if it weren't for the overwhelming pain, I think I'd feel dead.

I'm seriously struggling with my belief/faith in God. Please pray that God will make himself known to me now, that I may begin to heal, for my WW, and especially for my DS--I'm not much good to him right now.

Thank you! I am praying for all here as well.


Me: BH,50, but a youthful 50 :)
Her: WW, 44
Dday: April 30,2014
Dday #2: June 18, 2014

Posts: 3 | Registered: May 2014 | From: California
LostSamurai
Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, June 25th (Wednesday)

I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
2ofaKind
New Member
Member # 43576
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, June 30th (Monday)

Thanks, LS. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. I'll pray for you and your family.


Me: BH,50, but a youthful 50 :)
Her: WW, 44
Dday: April 30,2014
Dday #2: June 18, 2014

Posts: 3 | Registered: May 2014 | From: California
steppingup
Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 1st (Friday)

I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all.

No, this has nothing to do with God, it has to do with sin and this fallen world we live in. God does not bring us pain, but when we get into the pain we can grow and heal and be risen from the dead into new life.

He can help us win and become stronger through the experience, God makes a way, God can take on our suffering and help us as we seek Him and cling to Him as we deal with the fallout.

Think about the refining of gold...think about how these trials can refine us into better vessels to do His work on Earth, teaching us to forgive and to be grateful for what we have despite how we are treated. God loved us while we were still sinners. Jesus showed us how to love and forgive, but that does not mean we have to stay in bad relationships which are emotional abusive and defile our agreements. NO! God hates divorse for the wrong reasons, but he allows us to escape bad marriages when we cannot take it.

10 commandments...that was all. One of them was clear about sexual sin within marraige and about keeping the marriage bed pure. When defiled we are not commanded to stay in the marriage, I'm sorry it is not bibilical to say you must stay in a marriage when the spouse is cheating. NOPE and I dont care what the Pope says. It is clear in the Gospels. God bless all that come here.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free Luke 4:18

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds - Psalm 147:3

[This message edited by steppingup at 5:17 PM, August 1st (Friday)]


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 519 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
hihn
Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, August 11th (Monday)

LostSamurai, In reading your statement of "I too have struggled with my relationship with God because of this. Not God's fault... at all." I have to include myself. I have said & felt things toward my WH that were definitely not of the loving your neighbor nature. Included was the words "I hate you" to my WS. This emotional rollercoaster that infidelity puts us on can Truly be a test of our faith in Christ. For this thing called adultery has been the worst pain I have ever experienced. Though I failed him as a representative of his, he has not failed me. He has promised that nothing can snatch us from his hand and he has kept his word. The fact that we recognize we have struggled with our relationship with God, is


Me BS 58yo
Him WS 55yo, porno & sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,he moved in with OW 3/9/14, moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners
TT is

Posts: 132 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
hihn
Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, August 11th (Monday)

Oops, I accidentally touched submit on my tablet on the previous message. So to finish, the fact that we recognize were we are struggling with our relationship with God is testimony that we still desire a relationship with God. Perhaps our desire of a relationship with God is God's way of keeping us in his hand. I had asked the lord many times early on "how could you allow a child of yours that loves you to experience such horrible pain? What did I do to you or anyone to deserve this pain?" I know now the answer wasn't what I did to deserve the pain it was what God needed me to do to bring back one of his that was getting pulled farther into the darkness. The OW was well on her way of convincing my WH that god didn't exist. My WH did believe in Jesus prior to her. His faith wasn't big but it was there prior to OW. My WH has said it was my faith that brought him back to Christ. I realize now that even a struggling faith can help another's. I do not give the credit to myself, for I was a stumbler & bumbler, but I give it to God and what he has done to save this marriage. I could tell so much more of what God did to intervene in the dissolution of the marriage, but it would take the space of a small book to write down everything he did. Just want you to know that it wasn't me who wanted to reconcile, WH's adultery & divorce, for me, was a way out of an emotionally abusive relationship. But that wasn't what God wanted & I am glad God had a better plan than mine.


Me BS 58yo
Him WS 55yo, porno & sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,he moved in with OW 3/9/14, moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners
TT is

Posts: 132 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
ruby44
Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, August 15th (Friday)

Prayers for me and my daughters please, I just do not know where I fit in anymore. I think my WH is out on a business trip which is really a vacation with OW. I have tried to be the wife God wants me to be. He left and I thought we were ok not great but ok and from the airport right before he gets on a plane he sends me a hateful angry text about how worthless I am as a wife. I replied with no anger and told him I would rather discuss this in person or at least not via text. No reply. He is coming back on Tuesday night and I just do not know what to do. Please pray for me that God will give me the wisdom to say and do the "right" thing. I feel like I am in a dark cavern and do not know which way to go.
Thank you. I pray for all of you too and that God will give us the strength to get through this.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Lally
Member
Member # 43116
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, August 17th (Sunday)

Ruby, I'm so sorry. It is probably easier for him to justify the vacation if you are a horrible person and a bad wife in his mind. You know the truth and so does God. Don't let the enemy use your husband to tear you down. He is in a state of confusion right now. You are a child of God and because of that have a place to turn that will provide protection and comfort.
I will be praying for you and every hurting heart on here, including mine! We didn't deserve all of this hurt. It will not define who we are! He is our rock and fortress. Do not forget that!

Posts: 61 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Georgia
ruby44
Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, August 17th (Sunday)

Thank you Lally, I need so many prayers, sometimes the rage I feel consumes me and it is hard to even pray. To know that there are others to pray for me when I can't is comforting. I hope that my prayers for all of us bring someone comfort and peace. May God have mercy on us all, way wards betrayed and affair partners alike.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 277 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
healingjourney
Member
Member # 44277
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, September 3rd (Wednesday)

I have been praying a novena to St Rita for the healing of my marriage. A novena is a prayer that is said for 9 days and is usually done as a request for a special grace in time of suffering. The philosophy is that a saint can "intercede" with God on your request and that one may feel more comfortable praying to a saint as they lived a human existence and can offer understanding to your particular situation.

St Rita endured a difficult marriage.

Link to the novena.

http://www.stritabrooklyn.com/NovenaStRita.htm

I already feel I am being helped by this! Hope it helps others!


Me: WW
Him: BH
D-Day: Jul 3, 2014
In MC and IC, hoping for R

Posts: 114 | Registered: Jul 2014
Neznayou
Member
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, September 4th (Thursday)

By the time I found BlakeSteele's prayer list in the Reconciliation forum, it had been locked. But, I'd still like to respond to it, if I may.

I grew up going to church but didn't really feel a deep, abiding relationship to God, just a superficial connection to some of the people I met there (I thought it was deep and abiding, but not really). However, those people didn't have problems. Everything was fine. No problems. That community attitude contributed to the difficulties I had opening up to individuals and being able to say "I'm not okay."

I started veering away from church-going when I was in college. I spent many years weaving in and out of dedication. The last time I attend a service was Mother's Day 2012 (check my tagline; a connection?) I haven't really looked back.

However, part of what exacerbates the church/ God thing for me is the fact that when I broke down sobbing at my AP's house (before we had intercourse, but after we'd come too close to it), instead of sending me home to my BH, instead of sending me to a counselor, instead of recognizing that I was really messed up, he prayed for me! (And continued to be a willing participant) Even at the time, that prayer felt like a hypocritical farce on both our parts. Nothing about him or his lifestyle indicated a religious ideology. I was married; he was living with his girlfriend. And he thought God would listen?! I remember telling him that I was pretty sure God didn't even know who I was anymore.

That's the long walk off of a short pier. The funny thing is that, even considering all this, when I read the list of names on BlakeSteele's original post, I was looking for my name or my BH's name. I'm going to be left pondering why that is for a while.

Thanks for letting me butt in.

[This message edited by Neznayou at 6:40 AM, September 4th (Thursday)]


Me: WW
Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012
Admitted PA: 12 Aug 2012
TT ended: Jan 2014

"Power, Lincoln, real power comes not from hate, but from truth."


Posts: 311 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: America to Europe
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, September 4th (Thursday)

Hi,

This is the first time in the ICR forum...was pointed here through a mis-step of mine as I posted a prayer list in R forum. Didn't intentionally violate the rules of SI but I see that I have.

SI has been a benefit to me over the past 2 years...but the driving reason behind most of my change and continued efforts in restoring our marriage is.....God.

I did life and marriage my way for 30 years....which jived with how much of society does life and marriage.

Neznayou....I have added you both to my prayer list. I sooooo here you when you wrote "I'm not okay." and how you wanted to say that to folks around you....but was simply not done.

Wife and I have spent decades hiding from ourselves...specifically our feelings and the reality that real pain exists in our lives....some serious, traumatic level pain occured in our formative years.


Impossible to be authentic with others when you aren't first authentic with yourself. But to do so is VERY humbling and often PAINFUL!

Have learned that pain does NOT equal unhealthy.

Rejoice in all things.

Still working on that...but am growing towards that.


Having an AP pray is odd...but makes perfect sense in this spiritual battle. Satan loves confusion and uses temptation to keep you confused.

He didn't order Eve to bite the apple....he simply asked "Did God really tell you not to eat that fruit?" He brought doubt (confusion) into her mind and she did not rebuke it...did not fact seek. She gave into her feelings and used them to direct her actions.

I did this by choosing to use porn.....the many lies I believed, often in line with society's view on porn, helped me do what my selfish desire tempted me to do.

My wife choosing adultery.....the many lies she told and believed, tying into the "happiness is a goal" societal lie, helped her do what her selfish desires tempted her to do.


I have lived in fear since age 12. Didn't fully realize it but coping skills are often developed out of fear and ones need to protect themselves. They are useful for short periods of time...like the body going into shock after a physical injury...but are no way to live a healthy life.

God does not give us a spirit of fear. He gives us a spirit of love, power and self-discipline.

Love--agape love...not eros love (romantic, emotional love. Though certainly that should be a part of a healthy marriage)

Power--free will. We have the power to choose.

Self-discipline. God gave us feelings and emotions for a reason...but He also calls us to be obedient to him...and that takes self-discipline. We must not give into selfish desires.


This is some sort of battle.

But I now realize our M was under attack from the moment we got engaged. Satan hates M and family...he wants us to be isolated and alone so that he may pick us off one by one.

God hates D....He created M and family to do exactly what satan hates, for us to have a strong unit from which to make our way through this broken world. Refining and maturing as we do....eventually being redeemed and called home to Heaven. He does not expect us to be perfect before we are saved....Jesus did that work for us.

I pray Gods will be done. I pray I have the courage to be obedient to that prayer, realizing it requires me to mature past my selfish desires. I think this is what is meant, in part, when it is said we are to "die to self in order to live".

I am such a work in progress......


Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:03 AM, September 4th (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
PinkJeepLady
Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, September 4th (Thursday)

Blakesteele,

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I still have chills that last night when I was so discouraged I opened up SI right to your thread. So, I personally am glad for the "mistake" on where it was posted or I wouldn't have seen it! Divine intervention? I think so!

I shared your thought with my FWH and he was touched. He isn't actually on SI, but I read things to him. I really admire people who overcome addictions/challenges/obstacles. I too believe it is through Him that we truly change and heal.

FWH is sorry today, taking responsibility and recommitting to doing the work. He does have the tools he needs and knows the key is USING them!

I so appreciate the prayers coming our way! God IS with us!
Take care


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 496 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, September 4th (Thursday)

Posting as a member

God hates D....He created M and family to do exactly what satan hates, for us to have a strong unit from which to make our way through this broken world.

I hate D too, but sometimes it is the only option. I had to have a talk with my pastor about this very idea. My pastor and I agree that God's idea of marriage is ideal, but what does one do when their spouse is an addict or an abuser. After 2 years my mental state could no longer take the abuse of my spouse and her continued cheating. It was preventing me from other decrees of God like to love His children. I needed to D for me and for my children. I do feel like a failure for having to do so but I know I work hard daily to love His children.

D shouldn't be a flippant choice but after continued trying and failure and searching your soul and discussing with your pastor you might find that the only choice left.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52772 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, September 4th (Thursday)

I don't believe in coincidences. I honestly thought posting my prayer list in R was appropriate as was my offer to add folks to it and ask that they pray for the folks on it as they feel moved.

I messed up, I think, when I answered a fellow SI members question in too much detail and in "debate form".

My IC and I have discussed SI activity in length. The secular nature of it has been a concern for her....and has become one for me as well. Plus, believe it or not, I am turning towards gracerunner withore and more courage!

Regardless.....keep going Pinkjeeplady and mr Pinkjeeplady! It is so freeing to NOT habitually use it...to break the addiction. It was bondage....like all sin.

MovingUpward....did not mean to leave the impression that you stay M at all cost. God does NOT expect that of us. In fact, adultery is very specifically recognized as a sin that God takes note of and IS biblical grounds for D.

In addition....as I understand it....if any of the 4 deadly A's are present in your M you are called to take strong action to guard your heart. Addiction, Abuse, Adultery, Abandonment.

Could be a separation but could be D too.

I have clear guidance NOW. For those of you who don't know my journey....it took me 6 months to find righteous anger. So I am far from spiritually mature.

The 4 deadly A's.......that was some keystone turning points in my journey. It does NOT please or honor God when we remain in such relationships. We are called to action....not to be doormats that lay there....I don't think that is what iseany when He says "be still and know that I am God".

Abuse.......that has been a topic of late in IC. Both in my childhood and in my M. My CoD tendencies jack with the interpretation/ definition/ ability to recognize abuse.

Example: my self as a child involved in a hands on sex talk with my parents was "weird".....but I put any other kid in that sitch and it is clearly abuse. I still struggle with saying I experienced abuse that day....but my therapist is strongly calling it that.

A work in progress.....

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, September 5th (Friday)

The journey of infidelity is a journey I never thought I would know, let alone travel. My prayer life has always "been there" but more as a "request" line of praying. For example: keep my kids safe away at college, help my kids find their way, for my husbands business etc...
I have been blessed with people in my life, my own father and my father in law who were TRULY deeply spiritual people. Their faith was more than just praying and attending daily mass...they actually lived their faith, especially my father in law. He was more about living his faith not the BUISNESS of religion...he loved his family no matter what...he showed me time and time again what true forgiveness looked like.
During the time of the affair when I could not figure out what on earth was happening to my husband and using every excuse for his new changed behavior I started reading little daily retreats...they were sweet and a nice way to start my day...then post dday I discovered Richard Rohr...I did not want to like this priest...he used "big" words : ) and challenged my thinking CONSTANTLY....his daily devotions have made me look at things differently....and that has turned out to be a good thing.
This week has been more about living in the present... I would like to share the last paragraph of todays devotional.

"Non-dual consciousness is about being present to the Presence of God in yourself and beyond yourself too. Presence is an experience, not just an idea in the mind. In fact, the mind of itself cannot be present (take my word for that!). The mind can only reprocess the past, judge the present, and worry about the future. Only some form of meditation will teach you how to move from an egocentric, fear-based life to a love-based life. Instead of splitting and dividing up Reality according to your preferences, you are able to see and enjoy everything that is—and as it is."

on a side not...thank you blakesteele for your "misstep" and thank you SI for being here and giving us all a "safe place to land"

peace


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, September 5th (Friday)

I didn't know this post existed until today. I have read through some of the ways God has answered prayers in here and am so encouraged. This is one of those days that SI has brought a smile to my face.

I have been praying for many of you since I first joined SI in May of this year. BlakeSteele, you have been such an inspiration to so many of us. I hope you know that. God has used you in mighty ways on SI. I loved that last post you started in the R section and am honored that I am among those you are praying for.

God has worked miraculously in my life and I covet prayer.

In 2006, 5 years after having gone through treatment for Stage 3 breast cancer, we found out that the cancer had metastasized to my liver. My doctor put my survival rate at 1%. The first thing my husband and I did was to call our Pastor and ask for prayer. Before we knew it, a series of miracles unfolded. A friend lit a candle in a bag with my name on it during a cancer walk. She said there were thousands of candles and in the morning, only one was still burning: mine. Another friend had some holy oil from Russia that she knew had dried out because she had tried to anoint her son with it. She didn't even know what we were going through when God told her to anoint me with the oil. She argued with Him, but when she checked the oil, it had not only regenerated, but it had an incredible myrhh-like fragrance. The miracles went on and on like this until and including the day of my full body PET scan, which was going to show us "where else the cancer had spread". Not only did the scan show no cancer anywhere "else", but the tumor on my liver was gone!

I don't know why God chose to spare my life. But He has given me a very special gift - the gift of undying faith in Him and in His power to heal.

I had been praying - hard - for 5 of the 6 years of my FWH's A - that God would heal our marriage. I had no clue that my H was being unfaithful, but our marriage had become miserable. On Dday, another miracle occurred. It was like blinders fell off of H's eyes (that's how he describes it). He became a new man and is growing closer to God and to me every day. He is the man I fell in love with all over again. He feels nothing but disgust for what he did to our family - once he ended it with her, there was no regret and no looking back.

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and it has not been all roses and sunshine. OW made my life miserable with her texts and reminders of how much my H once loved her. And we recently discovered she has a couple of serious STD's that she passed on to my H and now to me. So, yes, we can use prayer. I guess every one of us here can really use prayer - each and every day.

Please know that you are in my heart and in my prayers. God bless you all!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, September 5th (Friday)

Thanks for the devotional hopefull77.

Have been spending some time on not being "double minded"...was a talking point at this weeks bible study, as was the real call to self-discipline.

Moving away from egocentric? I also have studied "pride" and how it affected my life. I thought sinc I was not a boastful man I was not prideful. I was wrong. I see, in my life anyway, a tie between pride and insecurity. Sucky to see....but its the truth.

Example: I fancy myself a good public speaker. Have addressed large crowds at national conferences....therefore I thought of myself as a very confident man. This journey has revealed to me that I am not as I thought nor as I projected. But its not that simple....because I DO have confidence, but also have insecurities.

What I am learning to accept is that God loves me as I am while knowing my potential. This trial has pushed me passed any preconcieved "limitations" I held fast to before. Weeks without sex? Done. Anger towards my wife? Done. 30 year habit\addiction broken? Done. Showing vulnerablity to others? Done. Pain and contentment co-existing? Done. Been hurt deeply and survived? Done.

My list is extensive...those are just some of the biggies. The fact I had 30 years to move past those limitiations and into new-to-me areas is my proof that God exists and loves me....because I have not done this on my own. Just. NO. Way.

I have shown what I alone am capable of...and it falls well short of what God has planned for me.

Alone. Isolated. A dreadful spot to exist in...but one that my own choices were keeping me in! Crazy, isn't it?

I find it interesting your WH comes from a home where true righteous living was demonstrated. Being able to observe a person who can view the world objectively and respond stabily (my preferred definition of "wisdom").

Was your father in law always living this way? Or did he have a "moment of faith" of his own?

Our FOO were noticeably lacking of healthy role models...and our fathers were pretty much no where to be found after our respective parents D.


This confirms what I have studied....regardless of your past you have free will and you can choose to do better. Your past need not define you....allow your choices of today to display how your past affects and influences you. And this is what God calls us to do....keep looking up, keep going. Satan loves to remind us of our past, make us question our own potential in hopes that we never reach more than what we have in our past.

Here is to living in the present, which includes plenty of hope for our future.

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:03 AM, September 5th (Friday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, September 5th (Friday)

I didn't know this post existed until today.

I didn't know it existed either until the moderator let me know about it.

Truthfully....for the first year on SI I was only brave enough to go into the JFO and R forums. The others were just too scary! Then, once I was a little over a year into this I avoided the JFO because I saw posts that reminded me of how I reacted upon my first couple of DD's....dreadful choices were made by me back then, so niave and full of CoD choices that I believed were "loving".

So, see? it all works out as it is planned.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, September 5th (Friday)

Blakesteele
my father had a come to Jesus moment in the 40's when my oldest sister had polio....he promised daily mass and she came home unscathed by the disease....then I was born in 55 and both parents were 46 and 49....then in 61 my middle sister died at 25 of a brain tumor....
he loved his faith and told me one cant get through life without it...
My father in law was just SPECIAL.....he was a huge example for my kids on what spirituality really means...not just being a Catholic....
my mother in law though was a by the book Catholic...she reminded me of all those stern nuns I had in grammar school....But the 'pleaser' in me won her over just like I won a lot of those nuns from school days...
my husband was and IS a man of faith....yes he lost his way big time but like needsfriends said on dday he was open to healing and has said without God we wouldn't be where we are today.....
the return of the prodigal son was pivotal for my own healing. I made one request of my husband and that was to go to confession....he wasn't thrilled but he did and thanked me all over the place for encouraging him....
He even went again this past Easter season.....
anyway don't mean this to be rambling but I tried to give a bit of history....
peace!!!


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, September 6th (Saturday)

Thanks for sharing.

Reading The Return of the Prodigal Son was very enlightening. I believe you suggested that to me. I passed it on to my Mom....affected her deeply too.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, September 7th (Sunday)

I am going to spend another day praying and fasting - tomorrow, the 8th. I will pray for everyone I prayed for last time and for anyone else who would like some prayer from SI.

I hope you are all doing well. I know that the cross we have had to bear seems very heavy at times. But I know there will be better days ahead.

Hugs to you all!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Lally
Member
Member # 43116
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, September 7th (Sunday)

I just wanted to recommend a book that I believe has really been helpful for us. It's called The Power of a Praying Marriage by Stormie Omartian. I have been using it as a template to pray over some of the difficulties that we have been having. I am definitely seeing some changes in my marriage. Hope somebody else finds it as helpful as I have.
Peace and blessings to all.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Georgia
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, September 8th (Monday)

To help me spiritually grow my pastor recommends "flash fasting". When a song comes on the radio I like...turn it off and spend that 3 minutes visiting with God. That last bite of a granola bar? Pitch it and spend time with God.

I know this sounds simple...but it has helped me get into the God habit that is working in my life. Small things add up too.

A longer fast is very beneficial...done both food fasting and a 7 week sex fast.

Thanks for the book recommendation....looking into it.

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, September 8th (Monday)

I like the idea of flash fasting - yes, the little prayer times add up. Just like the little times we spend with those we love add up. God wants to have a relationship with us and I think it brings Him much joy when you turn off a song to pray to Him or throw aside that granola bar to spend time with Him.

Today I spent my morning and much of the afternoon praying - for our church, my family and friends who are hurting or who need the Lord, and for many of you. I will do this once a month - at least. Today I prayed for the following people from SI several times:

Crushed15Feb13; Seethelight; Janus2014;
Skan; Befuddledhubbie; LumpyLola;
Devastated30; Brokenheartedwif; Fromthisdayforward; Blakesteele; LA44;
PeacebeMine; Yme; Soconfusednow; Swat70;
SoSorry17; Hurt2Deeply; Amazingatlast;
Hopeful77; Karmahappens; Ostrich80;
It'sAClimb; Bionicgal; Olwen; Trulysad;
Isthismynewlife; Heartbrokenlady;
Justinpaintoday; bigupz32; Lark; and
Tushnurse.

If you would like to be added to this prayer list, please let me know.

Hugs to you all!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Please add my wife, gracerunner, to your list.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, September 8th (Monday)

I just did and said a prayer for her and for your marriage.

Your sister in Christ


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Brentwood
Member
Member # 27465
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Blake, now I know why your signature line says you don't PM female members. And I'm glad to know its because of the boundaries your religious faith has given you. I never realized how destructive even an innocent internet exchange could hurt in the wake of infidelity. So kudos to you for living your truth.

Please add me to your prayer list. What a wonderful thing that is. A few years ago I got baptized and accepted Jesus as my savior. A pretty big deal since I grew up catholic, but I truly was called to do it. Like you, I don't believe in coincidences. It's all Him. Thanks for the thread.


Me BW (59) What?!?!
Him BH (59)

Posts: 168 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: S. California
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Brentwood, may I add you to my prayer list as well? It is always refreshing to meet another "sibling" in the Lord here.

P.S. I also respect Blakesteele for not PM'ing female members of SI. The way I feel about married people texting is, if your spouse wouldn't want you to be texting that person, don't.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Ooops! Duplicate post...

[This message edited by needfriendshere at 3:44 PM, September 8th (Monday)]


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, September 8th (Monday)

And I'm glad to know its because of the boundaries your religious faith has given you.

I had that boundary in place all of my marriage, predating my walking with God...only recently do I understand how it ties into how God designed marriage. Unfortunately, this was one of very few boundaries I had in place.

I have been aware of my temptations and have kept them in check....or so I firmly believed. My use of porn shows a considerable lack of boundaries (and lack of self-discipline). My choices hurt my relationship with God as well as deeply wounded my wife. Like my wife, I believed lies in order to make it "okay" for me to choose sin.

Fortunately, I have today to do better...choose differently. And I will stumble again...but even stumbles CAN result in forward growth.

Temptations are all around....this is part of living in a broken world. And some of those temptations are very very subtle in nature.

When I get a PM from a female member...it often starts with "I know you have boundaries BUT....". I don't think they mean any harm or realize the temptation they are presenting or entering into....but it is real and dangerous.

My wife NOW realizes just how committed she was to following through on adultery almost from the begining...but before the actual physical act took place she believed many lies and discounted any and all the flags that were waving. While her A took off and reached physical interactions quickly....I DO believe it started with the same "I know adultery is wrong BUT.....". (i'm not going to do that, we are just friends, see him just one more time, forget about him for a week and see if my husband can fullfill me, etc.)

Shocking...but once my wife chose adultery and I was able to process what just took place (6 months after DD), a RA was a REAL option in my mind. Yep. I know, its dreadful isnt it?

I read The Return of the Prodigal Son. In the part that detailed the son that stayed home and tended the fathers farm while the prodigal son lived a selfish life and squandered his share of the family inheritance, this quote resonated with me.

"And all of my life I have harbored a strange curiosity for the disobedient life that I myself didn't dare live, but which I saw being lived by many around me. It is strange to say this, but, deep in my heart, I have known the feeling of envy toward the wayward son."

Not great to admit, but this is a real truth within me. I have been the "responsible one"...the one to always prepare for the future and delay gratification in doing so. (porn = instant gratification...but I believed many lies to not even investigate what that was doing in my life, to my wife and marriage.)

Don't get me wrong....I am forever grateful I had that boundary with other women for as long as I have....but my motivation lacked the "fullness" it required to be healthy. KWIM?

And this is why I have to have that boundary....now more than ever.


Felt like I needed to clarify before others built me up to more than I am.


Humility....I need that to learn new things.

I do appreciate the kind words...just want to be authentic. Pretty new concept to me really.

God is with us all.

This is a serious trial. Satan WANTS me to be tempted and then choose to give into that temptation.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
plainpain
Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, September 8th (Monday)

I would really, really appreciate prayer. I am stuck in my healing because of the OC. I am struggling with knowing that there is a life that came from my WHs adultery... a life that was never SUPPOSED to be, but now is. I feel betrayed by God. I feel that God blessed the OW with a child and I got herpes. I am struggling with being able to pray at all lately, and I am in a dark place I can't seem to get out of.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Jul 2013
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Plainpain, I am praying and will continue to pray for you.

Please know that God did not bless OW with a child. Nor did he give you herpes. What God did give us - all - is free will. And with that, many of us make choices that have painful consequences - like a child conceived outside of wedlock and STD's. We live in a fallen world and the consequences of sin are death and all of its friends. God is the One who can comfort you in spite of the mess we make of this world. With God, there is freedom from the pain of this world. Don't turn away from Him - turn to Him. He is amazing. Please read my "story" - about 16 entries or so behind this one. God is unbelievably wonderful!

(((plainpain)))

[This message edited by needfriendshere at 7:36 PM, September 8th (Monday)]


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Covering you In prayer Plainpain. May you feel Gods love in the gentle words of strangers.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, September 8th (Monday)

My husband and I spent a lovely few hours yesterday at a local retreat house.....lots of quiet places....we packed a lunch and a half a bottle of wine!!!!! We read Richard Rohr ....he is all about CONTEMPLATIVE prayer.....being still.....its working.....
prayer works....
PRODIGAL SON.....a book that is profound for me...written by a broken man.....I have no doubt that Henri Nowen is in heaven....happy....because he knows forgiveness....
I would love to be on everyones prayer list....you are all on mine....
Peace


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, September 8th (Monday)

Keep the faith Plainpain....you are prayed for daily.

I know you are in a dark spot. I am really sorry to know that. If it helps sometimes my prayer is just "thank you" repeated over and over....it is a trial of trial and it is a serious struggle.

God knows this. His love is unconditional. He is not punishing us. He hurts when we hurt but He does not forsake us when we stumble.

Keep posting....do whatever you can to avoid being isolated. There is strength in numbers.

Peace, my friend.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 9:34 PM, September 8th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, September 9th (Tuesday)

Hopeful77, yes! Contemplative prayer does work. God has taught me to be still and listen and it has been wonderful.

And Blakesteele, you say you repeat "thank you" over and over. That is similar to what I do. I will repeat variations of "Lord have mercy" until I get to a still, quiet place where I wait on Him.

Because we are all united by the one Holy Spirit that is in each of us and that is part of the triune God, when we pray, that Spirit works through us individually and corporately. For that reason, group prayer is downright powerful.

I hope your week has been good so far. Mine has been pretty frustrating as OW keeps launching her attacks - now in very subtle yet hurtful ways. I haven't been able to sleep in a couple of days and am so tired. If she was only out to hurt me, I could handle that, but she has now cast a pretty wide net. Can REALLY use prayer!

Hugs and blessings to you all!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Brentwood
Member
Member # 27465
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, September 9th (Tuesday)

I love this thread. I read through a lot of the forums and it's such a wonderful community of friendship and support. I am always sensitive to others beliefs and although I want to post sometimes about how I think prayer would serve them well, I don't because it's not the proper forum. That's why this one is so great.

I love the story of how I came to accept Him. It truly was as if Jesus had his arm around my shoulder on that morning. It was the experience of a lifetime. And none of it would have happened if my WH hadn't cheated and I wasn't in such a horrible place. God waited patiently for me to accept Him and once I did He showed me love like I've never felt before.

Thanks again for this forum where I can freely express just how much His power means to me.


Me BW (59) What?!?!
Him BH (59)

Posts: 168 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: S. California
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, September 9th (Tuesday)

Needfriends here thank you for the prayers.

(((Plainpain))
You are in my prayers. Below helped me tremendously. I will go through it again when I finish the devotional I'm currently doing. I have trouble journaling and there is room for that in the workbook.

I hope I'm not breaking any rules by including links where there is more information about these books.

Godly Whispers: A 90-Day Devotional to Help you Recover From Your Spouses Affair

Marsha Rozalski (Author)
http://www.amazon.com/Godly-Whispers-Devotional-Recover-Spouses/dp/0615306497

Godly Whispers The Work Book- Marsha Rozalsi (Author)
http://www.amazon.com/Godly-Whispers-Workbook-Marsha-Rozalski/dp/061536781X


NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women: Insights for Everyday Life -Lisa Terkeurst

http://www.amazon.com/NIV-Real-Life-Devotional-Bible-Women/dp/0310439361


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, September 10th (Wednesday)

I am about to read a book called Boundaries (the one for married couples). Has anyone here read it or heard of it?

What particularly attracted me to it was the fact that the only negative reviews the book got was that there were too many Biblical references. Not a bad thing, IMO...


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, September 10th (Wednesday)

I read it after it was recommended by a Christian IC before I knew of the affair. I recommend it a lot here.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, September 10th (Wednesday)

Duplicate oops

[This message edited by Pentup at 9:11 PM, September 10th (Wednesday)]


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, September 10th (Wednesday)

Boundaries is great for anyone struggling with co-dependent behaviors. And honestly, who doesn't at times?


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, September 10th (Wednesday)

I'd love for you all to pray for me, my husband and children. I haven't introduced myself here, still trying to figure out where I belong and how to get involved. I had an affair earlier in our marriage. Now 17 years out I found out he's been having an affair for the past two years, including a brief two-night stand? and sexting, which is what got him caught. He's been miserable apparently since I confessed my affair to him about nine years ago. He says he thought he could put it behind him but refused to discuss it or get counseling and the bitterness just grew. Initially he said he wanted a divorce but came back and said he was willing to say it wasn't over yet, but moved out immediately. Dday was April 17 for the sexting (I got a call from the woman's husband) and April 21 when I was looking up phone calls between him and the other woman to confirm for her husband and realized he was on the phone much more with another woman, a few actually but the others were "just" friends he could spend hours talking with instead of with me.

We've been in IC and did MC a few times but really just to deal with the details of the infidelity and make a separation agreement, not to discuss our marriage. I looked at the internet history on his computer today and saw that he'd looked up information on divorce in our state. Right after my son's birthday party last weekend. I'm losing hope, which is such a painful place to be. I'm afraid he's let the bitterness and hurt eat him alive and he won't be able to recover from it, at least not until years down the road when we've both moved on.

My heart is breaking for what I've done to him and ultimately our children although they weren't around yet, what he's done, what he didn't/wouldn't do and for the immense hurt this will cause our children.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, September 11th (Thursday)

And honestly, who doesn't at times?

Wise words.

Boundaries In Marriage....a must read for all married people. Start there first. The Boundaries book (original) is good, but the one for Marriage is awesome!

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:47 AM, September 11th (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, September 11th (Thursday)

Glassgirl13...you are on my prayer list now.

Thanks for posting....it is important to validate your feelings. My wife and I for too long invalidated our own feelings...holding many of them in, to ourselves, and thinking we were "dealing with them". When you do that your spouse has ZERO chance of validating them.

Couple of tidbits that have helped me out.

"Feelings are always buried alive...and require daily feedings."

"Feelings are like children. You don't want them driving the car but you can't lock them in the trunk either."

My wife had an EA while we were engaged. I caught it, she retracted, I did like your husband did....buried my feelings, ignored the pain, and figured I could get past it. Get past it by hardly looking at it, let alone any real work. Yeah, its immature and ignorant NOW...but at the time it was as good as I could do. My wife did what she could do to.

My wifes affair of 2 years ago was our chance to choose differently.

It sucks...its ingredibly painful....its scary....but it is the only way to process through this. Doing anything else is not an option.

I pray our M survives. Regardless, I know the changes I have made and will have to make are necessary. There is no question in my mind if I D upon my first DD, found a cute young adoring girl to date I would have most certainly repeated a destructive cycle.

"You must feel to heal."

It is only through this painful trial that I have met and comforted deeply wounded parts of myself. Wounds that were NOT a factor of my M to my wife, but wounds that I was led to by the pain of my wifes affair.

Our 17 year wedding anniversay is this week. This is also affair season for us.

We are tired but we are committed to moving forward.

You guys can too.....keep going. I know its tough but you guys, like us, have experienced first hand what happens when you try to avoid this pit instead of process through it.

"I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I was."

God is with us all.

That is a truth. He was with me as a hurt little boy, was with me as a shocked fiance, was with me upon my DD's over the past 2 years. I was blind to that truth most of my life...only embraced and owned it about 1.5 years ago. It is life changing, to accept this as the truth it is.

My heart is breaking for what I've done to him and ultimately our children although they weren't around yet, what he's done, what he didn't/wouldn't do and for the immense hurt this will cause our children.


I so get this. Once I started to face pain I have avoided for most of my life....I saw more and more how I hurt myself and my wife and how it was hurting our children.

Thats the thing about AVOIDING feelings....it bleeds over into how you do life in general. Its not as clean and tight as you tell yourself it is. I don't know if it is a gradual thing or what...but as I face and process pain it seems as if life appears to be in HD now, where it was black and white before. Its like I was becoming a shell of a person rather than a full person.

Better stop there.....I am getting into waters that I have not fully explored yet.

We are called to be authentic and intentional in our lives. Not passive and floating. For me...the challenge is to be active and intentional in a non-controlling (CoD) way! I also wrestle with how to "Be Still", but am learning every day. I have a solid christian therapists that is helping me a considerable amount....a blessing.

Keep the faith! Keep posting!

Peace

[This message edited by blakesteele at 9:15 AM, September 11th (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, September 11th (Thursday)

Thanks Pentup, Glassgirl, and Blakesteele. I just started Boundaries last night and it is really a good book.

Glassgirl, I just said a prayer for you and added you to my daily prayer list. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling and pray for healing for you, for your husband, and for your marriage. You and your H are both in a lot of pain - that is evident. But I have learned that God truly is the Great Physician and, with Him, all things are possible.

(((Glassgirl)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, September 12th (Friday)

Another excellent book I'm reading right now is, A Loving Life In a World of Broken Relationships by Paul E. Miller. It discusses hesed love which calls us to love in opposition to our feelings in a way that requires dying to self, something we all are called to as believers. I'm really struggling though with how to apply this to my marriage practically. What does this kind of love look like, to sacrifice and love regardless of response, living with authenticity while not being a doormat and possibly just prolonging his fog or lack of accountability.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
foundoutlater
Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 13th (Saturday)

Hi all – I’m coming here with a small request. I was raised in the Catholic faith and was a practicing Catholic on DDay three+ years ago. Prior to this I had never had any event in my life impact my faith or belief. I now feel disconnected from my faith and honestly don’t have the faith in belief. I’m asking anyone who is willing to include me and my family in prayer. Thank you.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Jul 2011
hihn
Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, September 14th (Sunday)

foundoutlater,

[I now feel disconnected from my faith and honestly don’t have the faith in belief. I’m asking anyone who is willing to include me and my family in prayer. Thank you.]

Many of us have felt this way in regard to our faith or connection with God. In the realm of spiritual warfare, adultery is a immensely powerful weapon that Satan uses to destroy or diminish our faith in God. Remember that faith even the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. My faith from the time of discovery of the adultery to now has taken a serious beating, but even at it weakest level it was at the least the size of a mustard seed & so is yours and everyone else here in this thread. So go move a mountain!


Me BS 58yo
Him WS 55yo, porno & sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,he moved in with OW 3/9/14, moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners
TT is

Posts: 132 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, September 14th (Sunday)

foundoutlater, I think that adultery and it's betrayal rock us to our spiritual core because marriage was designed to reflect the same oneness we are to have with God. Just as our earthly fathers influence our perspective of our Heavenly Father, so our experience with marriage can influence and affect our trust and intimacy with God.

As hihn said, distortion and perversion of what God intended is one of the ways Satan attacks.

I'll be praying for you, as so many have been for me, that God's peace that passes understanding will be upon you and you'll feel his hand holding you.

I was in bed weeping one day, questioning if God was really even real or as personal as the Bible says he is, and before I even finished the thought JJ Heller's "Your Hands" came on. It was a sweet gift to me. Here's the song if you're interested.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l3CEMWCxSk


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, September 14th (Sunday)

Foundoutlater, I have added you and your family to my ever-growing prayer list. I will pray for you every day.

It is easy to question one's faith in a benevolent God when something happens in this world that destroys us. But it is especially at times like these that we need to reach out to Him. He did not make your spouse cheat. Everyone has free will and your spouse chose to cheat. I believe that our spouse's cheating grieves God as much (if not more) than it grieves us.

God unites us through the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. We become one although we are still two people. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing in God's sight. Turn to Him and let Him carry this burden of rebuilding what "man has torn asunder" with you!

(((foundoutlater)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
foundoutlater
Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, September 16th (Tuesday)

Thank you all. You all have given me some interesting ways to look at how infidelity has impacted my faith.
I never was angry with God. Not before this or any time through it all. I never believed that God did create the pain in the world. I believed in a loving God who created all of us as social creatures with the free will to make choices - good and bad. Those choices impact others. To believe in God takes faith. Faith requires us to know something which we cannot logically know. I think my ability to do that is what has changed. My willingness or ability to believe something that is not in front of me has changed. I guess I should move to Missouri (the show me state).
I had blind faith and it led me to some very dark places in my life. I know that does not translate into faith = blind faith = wrong, but that’s what is going on in the background I think. I need to focus more on what I had faith in. Thank you again for your prayers and your feedback.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Jul 2011
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, September 18th (Thursday)

smile. I live in Missouri. I thought I had blind faith too in my wife. Through 2 years of therapy I have discovered that I intentionally turned away from seeing things I did not want to face. My wife choose similarly. We learned this in childhood and never gave it up....and there are consequences associated with those choices.

As I study the armor of God, I find it very telling that in the description of it there is nothing to protect your back side. I infer this to mean we are created to FACE our fears and to have faith that God will take care of that which we do not understand or think we can not face alone.

Over the past 2 years....when I embrace facing my fears (and pain) I CAN move forward. When I turn away (or employ old coping mechs that avoid pain) I get stuck!

No coincidences.

A big concept for me that helps me every day is knowing the difference between being condemned and being convicted.

Condemned = in a pit with a lid on it. Can not get out.

Convicted = in a pit that is open. It still a sucky place to be but if you look up and, often, grow up (mature spiritually and emotionally) you CAN get out of that pit!

Oh and satan just loves for us to be condemned.....he knows his future, it is ours that is not known. But unlike satan who has been condemned by God, we have not. We have free will and can be saved.

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, September 18th (Thursday)

I can really use prayer. It's been one of those weeks where I feel like I can't take much more of this marriage. I know that it is God's will that I stay with my FWH and I do love him and he's really trying so hard. But the tricking in of the details of his A is becoming unbearable. Not so much the fact that it trickles in, so much as WHAT is trickling in. All long, my perceptions of what transpired between my H and the OW have been realigned to include details that have alternately made my skin crawl and my stomach lurch.

This week has been a combination of both reactions. We have tried to block OW from every avenue of communication we could think of, but she still managed to get a message to me. And this week's gift was a very long and rambling e-mail FWH had sent to OW in the early days of their A, detailing sexual activity he was engaged in just prior to our marriage. Apparently, they spent weeks regaling each other with their complete sexual history. She ended her part of the message with "Don't trust him....."

She didn't need to tell me that. As hard as H is trying, trust is a long way off! But her last message just makes me sick to even look at H, even though the things it details happened around 25 years ago.

Please pray for me to stay strong in working through R with H, to love him for who he is now and not who he was, and for OW to LEAVE US ALONE!!

Thank you all so much.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, September 18th (Thursday)

You got it needfriendshere!

Keep the faith.

Trickle truthing is a special type of hell....some of my original brat pack members on SI are in the D forum as a result of their spouses doing this and never fully embracing the consequences of their actions.

Gently...you are just 6 months in. That is one of the darker time periods for me and the friends I spoke of above were in that mode a lot longer than 6 months. For me....it was between 6-9 months where I finally had enough truths to make sense of what is fundamentally a senseless situation.


I am studying "long-suffering" right now....

On a smaller, more manageable note......

Any way you can turn the actions from the fOW around? Instead of having a "Crap, what more can go wrong?" can you find a healthy way to say "okay, i've been here before but must have missed a growth opportunity...what did I miss?"

Its hard to do...but this trial has afforded me more than one pass through identical painful sitches! Trickle truthing forever remained painful but I did start to visualize it like watching old episodes of Gilligans Island....you just experienced it on a very light level. In other words, I didn't study it hard or put much stock in it. Sucky spot...but the affair had ended, I DID know that.

When I am able to do this, make that routine pass through looking for new wisdom....I do feel empowered.

Unfortunately, I can't explain what I do differently to make this happen...and give God credit for helping me when it does work out.

I think it must be like opening a pickle jar for my daughter. It can go two ways.....first, she can remember the last time she tried to open the jar and immediately get mad and curtly ask for my help and fume all the way to the table with her pickle....wishing pickles came in zip lock bags. Or she can remember the last time, including asking me for help, and calmly work through the same series of steps in peace.

There's a perspective shift that occurs.....

Wish I could think of a better parable than that.....not fully captures it.

Peace.



ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, September 18th (Thursday)

Thank you, Blakesteele! What you say does make sense. All of it. I wish I could turn the actions of the OW around so I can learn instead of burn every time she attacks!

And I can see why and how trickle-truth can lead to D. But I am determined NOT to let the enemy have the victory over a marriage that is in serious R with a truly repentant H. I can only hope that, as time goes by, this all gets easier. 6 months feels like forever to me right now - it really does. Ahhhh. Patience is obviously a virtue I struggle with.

Thanks so much again. I pray you are doing well these days. I kind of see you as a rock on this site.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, September 19th (Friday)

needsfriendshere....not sure if you are doing this, but if you are asking tons of question of your husband try and take a break from that. You will need to engage again in the future...but taking a break from that is healthy.

It was somewhere between 6-9 months out that I finally stopped asking questions. I did because what I was doing was creating situations that allowed my wife to TT even more.

Its dang painful to back away from your spouse....especially so when you are in the "obsessive thoughts" phase post-traumatic experience. But the truth is your husband devloped quite a skill at lying and deception. It takes a while for that train to come to a stop.

And keep in mind the first person that is lied to in an affair is the person choosing to have an affair. They tell THEMSELVES lies and hold fast to false assumptions so that they can say yes to an affair. Furthermore, most have a lifetime pattern of denying and avoiding life in an effort to avoid feeling their internal pain......much of which has very little to do with you.

It is from that seed of truth that real compassion for my wife started to grow. Its NOT excusing their behavior or dismissing the consequences of that behavior...but it does gain you new perspectives on it.

Your hubands affair is REALLY not about you, not about the AP...it is all about him. Thats why I said "on a smaller, more manageable note" when I referred to his OW. Yeah, shes a nut case...but even she was not much more than a girl that said yes and spread her legs. She was an "escape hatch" and thats about it.

I pray your husband finds the courage to face the pain within him and that God be with him as he does.

Peace.



ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, September 19th (Friday)

((needfriendshere))

Satan does continue to attack, especially when our WS is doing things to make our heart grow, or we are doing well in R. He hates marriage. As hard as it can be, try and focus on how far God has brought your husband from where he was 25 years ago. He is allowing God to change him into the husband you deserve and the man he was made to be.

As far as the OW. Focus on how pathetic and broken her life is for her to continue to try to hurt you and thru you your WS, and to be Satan's tool.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, September 19th (Friday)

Blakesteele, thank you so much for the prayers for my H. He can really use them. Between my questions (which you're right - I need to stop asking for a while) and OW's harassment, I think he feels like he's between a rock and a hard place.

It's funny, just today - after OW sent 3 more messages, this time to my H's public work page - my H told me that he is 100% responsible for what happened. He was messed-up, had turned completely away from God, and wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He realizes now that the proverbial "cake" was choking the life out of him, and with it, bringing down another messed-up person, his wife, and his sons. I didn't have to say a word - he was sorry, sorry, sorry!

God is so good - where two or more are gathered in prayer.....

Thank you, too, Brokenheartedwif. I pray you are doing better. You are also in my prayers - every day.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, September 19th (Friday)

Needfriends here that's great and yes God is so very very Great. He can do miracles, in us if we can only give up ourselves and let him.

The giving up of oneself and total trust can be so difficult.

Thank you for the prayers. We must be doing something right together. Satan is really attacking this week via me having meltdowns over the adultery and now my job was outsourced yesterday.

Really need prayers for the healing of the marriage, my self-esteem (which has been very battered by the LTA and now loss of my job), and a new job where God wants me to use the talents he has given me, and my WH continued healing from SA.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, September 19th (Friday)

Thank you for your kind words....but I struggle too.


A quick story on patience.....

It was about 6 months out. I was out a local diner eating breakfast at 5:30 am. The place was empty save for 2 other patrons...an elderly couple in their 80's.

I was reading a book on surviving infidelity...I had taken the dust cover off so as to keep my struggle secret.

My food came and I paused for prayer, laying my book on the table with its spine facing the window. My prayer ended with a request for Gods peace to be with me. I opened my eyes and the elderly lady was standing at the edge of my table.

She tapped my book and said;

"I bet your tablemate doesn't talk back to you like mine does!" and smiled.

I smiled and said "No, it doesn't." and looked at her husband...he had a large kind smile on his face as he sat there and watched us.

Then she said this....


"You know, I used to pray for peace. But God kept sending me more trials...so I stopped praying for peace."

I sat there speechless.

I don't recall how long I was in shock...but I do know when I came out of it I looked over to the table where they had been sitting and they were gone....dirty dishes not even on the table.

Was I lost in thought long enough for them to pay their bill and the waitress to clean the table? Could be.

No matter....it was a God moment for sure. I have had several others since then.

God is with us all....and this includes your husband and the fOW. He is waiting for us to seek Him.

I would suggest getting a copy of Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. It really helped me overcome the shame in my life and helped me better understand what true, mature love looks like. Agape love.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, September 19th (Friday)

Blakesteele, I love your story about what happened in the diner. God is wonderful, isn't he? I have some stories too - where God was definitely active and present in my life - but not quite as heart-warming and tender as that one.

And as for the book - Return of The Prodigal Son - someone mentioned it recently and I meant to write it down and forgot. This is another God moment! Thank you!

Brokenheartedwif, I appreciate your letting me know how to pray for you. I find that it helps if my heart knows the exact needs of the person. Please let us know when you find that new (and better) job.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, September 19th (Friday)

We must be doing something right together. Satan is really attacking this week

Right on! My pastor advises me this is one great way to see if I am fullfilling Gods will instead of my own will.....the attacks intensify. When we are selfish and with unpure motives....satan chills. No need to do any tempting in our lives as we are already doing his work for him.

Looking back over the past 2 years...this is absolutely true!


Point in check;

I had accepted Christ as my savior about 8 months prior to being publicly baptised at church. Why wait? I was, at that point, pretty aware of how much I liked external validation. I suffered from pride and wanted to be sure my motives for my actions were pure and NOT self-serving. I wanted to walk with God silently without any applause or recognition from others. I was NOT seeking to feel good...I was and am seeking to become healthy and fullfill Gods will for my life.

Fast forward 8 months....

On a Monday morning my pastor called me and asked me if I would be interested in being baptised later that month. A common occurence and my pastor was always patient when I told him "no, not yet". That morning was different....I said I believe I am ready but would give him a definitive answer on this later that week. Not a full yes but a pretty clear change in my choices.

That same night I tucked my oldest daughter into bed. Out of the blue she looks up at me and says

"Dad, I think you need to do that thing...you know....go under the water."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You know, that thing they do at church where people go under the water."

"Oh, you mean get baptised."

"Yes. You need to get baptised." she said

"I am thinking about it...why do you think I should?"

"Because you are close with God."


I was speechless....I just gave her a big hug and thanked God for her again and again.

then Tuesday I come home to get into my formal suit for a promotional interview, an event 2 years in the making. I get that all-to-familiar gut feeling something ain't right....and I check my wifes computer. DD#3 was me discovering for 2 years she had lurked the OM on FB. This happened just 40 minutes before I was scheduled to go through a 2 hour intensive interview.

Called wife....lies, then ommision with very little detail....pretty darn close to how my other DD's played out.

Anyway....short convo with wife and within 15 minutes I knew I had a choice to make. I COULD let this new intense pain derail both my spiritual walk as well as my career path OR I could choose to continue my journey in both.

By the grace of God I choose the latter. Rewind 2 years prior.....no way was that how I would have chosen. I was offered a promotion at work and I was publicly baptised that same month. I am sure satan is pissed. My intention is to do Gods will, aggravating satan in the process is a nice perk though!

God allows trials into our life as training aides. If we so choose, we CAN grow our character through them.

DD#3 sucked eggs...it really did. But I can look back now and see it as a cornerstone event in my journey. DD#3 is what I reflected on when I nudged needfriendshere to allow her perspective to shift a bit when she experiences more-of-the-same trials. DD#3 was a copy out of my wifes original betrayal play book. I had seen that play run before and I knew my old ways of dealing with it did not result in the yardage gain I desired for my journey. So I chose differently....noticeable difference was I turned to God FIRST!

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:41 AM, September 19th (Friday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, September 19th (Friday)

Could really use prayer today. I am so on the fence, off the fence, and back on. It's like every time I think I have it figured out to D, some life crap comes on which makes it virtually impossible to leave or kick him out (finances, kids, etc...). Anyhow, please pray for peace for us no matter what. I know we can't really debate religion here, and that's not my intent, but I'm Catholic, and really having a hard time with the whole "don't divorce, you have to annul within the church if you do if you ever remarry or it's wrong" thing. Again, not trying to debate it, but really having a horrific time with this on my conscience.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want...I have no idea

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Dec 2013
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, September 19th (Friday)

If we could only always remember to do that - turn to God first - we would save ourselves (and our loved ones) a lot of heartache. I guess that is what I should be praying for us all - that beyond the healing of broken hearts and broken marriages, that He would help us to turn to Him first whenever that roller-coaster plummets downward.

Thanks again!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, September 19th (Friday)

Done deana04.

When you're going through hell keep on going. --Winston Churchill and Rodney Atkins

Yep a great leader and an okay country music singer given credit on the same post!

List 3 things you can do for yourself today....as simple as "make a cup of tea and spend 15 minutes drinking it" with nothing but a clear mind while you do this.

It will empower you.

God does not give us a spirit of fear...but one of love, power and self discipline.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, September 19th (Friday)

Thank you again for the prayers Needfriendshere.

I'll let you guys know when God provides the new (better) job.

((denna04)) you and your family are in my prayers.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 19th (Friday)

Thank you; putting you in my prayers, too. This is so hard.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want...I have no idea

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Dec 2013
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, September 20th (Saturday)

Deena04, I am praying for you too. Please let us know how you are doing.

(((Deena04)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, September 20th (Saturday)

Thank you; I never noticed this thread until the other day. I never bring up religion in the other forums, but it truly has been a sticking point for me in my healing. I just feel like it needs to happen for me because of what's happened, but don't want to let down my faith and my church. Prayer is a daily occurrence for me and also a struggle because of it all. Making sense of all of this is not working for me.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want...I have no idea

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Dec 2013
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, September 21st (Sunday)

Deena04, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that, if it were not for God and His guidance through prayer, I would not be in this marriage anymore.

In my case, my H has recommitted himself to Christ and is bearing much fruit - both in his prayer life and in how he is treating me.

You continue to remain in my prayers. Hang in there and keep the faith. God is definitely Someone you want in your court.

(((Deena04)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, September 22nd (Monday)

As I study prayer and what it does and means it has occurred to me that the following holds true...but am not 100% on this so am looking for input.

We have a petition and a desire....that is the meat and potatoes of prayer. Its a conversation with God.

I believe all prayers are heard, but not all prayers are answered as humans understand "answering".

Sometimes God's answer is "you choose, son.". Afterall, He gave us his spirit within us, He made us, the gift of free-will is meant to be used. He also gave us his Word, that helps us use that free will effectively, should we choose to. Of course, you must study the Word for it to be any help to you. And we can CHOOSE to do that too!

Sometimes God's answer is a partial one. He may give us what we need instead of what we want....and, as time passes, we see that which He gave us was actually what we needed, but we ignorantly (meant in a nice way) had no idea even to ask for that....so we asked for something much smaller and more self-centered than what He actually gave to us.

Sometimes God's answer is a full one(meaning we can grasp that we were fully heard and helped)....He gives us what we need AND it is what we desired!!!! We SOOOO enjoy these types of answers to our prayers.

That last one is not common in my life over the past 2 years. That is NOT a reflection of God's love for me (or lack there of), but is a reflection of where I am at emotionally and spiritually.....young and immature, often times unable to even know what to ask or pray for other than the pain to stop. KWIM?

I have come to realize many times I ask for just enough to get through the day, which is dang too close to how I did life since my childhood! But the first two have been fully in-play throughout. Dang painful at times....but I have come to understand pain often equals growth!

Today I am in pain. I had a good weekend, family is healthy, but the results I have been praying for in my M have not occurred. What has occurred is a maturing of me emotionally and spiritually. But my deceitful, selfish heart is alive and kicking today. I know the RIGHT thing to do and am trusting God I will keep having the courage to do the right thing.

I still feel "double minded" and am working on that.

That is a term I was so unfamiliar with until this journey started...now I can see it as a contributing factor to my adult life choices....and choices my wife made. Choices that were often based in fear and selfishness, not on love and committment.

I AM grateful for the opportunity to work on this.

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 11:42 AM, September 22nd (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, September 22nd (Monday)

Have mercy on me a sinner!

I hold myself responsible for my faults in my M, but somedays i can't help but think that the lies that WW told me about her choices being my fault are true.

I am able to squash those lies because of the support SI has consistently provided. And 75% of the time when i feel down, my Father sends me support that i can visibly or audibly notice. Friends i didn't expect, a listening ear, and strong Godly counsel. My radio is always playing a song or marriage advice from focus on the family, validating Him as comforter and what i knew about relationships.

EA started probably may, pa in june, WW moved out in july. I still cling to hope that before D is final, for the sake of our DD, WW will attempt real R. We never had counseling or mentoring nothing.

The Lord provides; comfort, peace, family, friends, financially, and Himself.

Not that i'm not grateful for the above, but having a helpmate would be really nice right now .

My prayers are for the courage to face this. To be equiped to hear His voice, to have the strength to trust and obey Him. I don't want to shrink from this battle. Even though she shows no signs, i pray for her. I pray for DD, and i pray that 6-12 months from now, if she would come to her senses, my heart will not be as hard as hers and that i could forgive her eventually.

Psalm 86 is my most recent message from Him. I hope for that ending.


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, September 22nd (Monday)

Befuddledhubbie, you are someone I have been praying for every day. A part of me is so happy to see how strong your faith is. God really is good.

But another part of me is saddened by the fact that you are believing your WW and feel that you were somehow to blame for her actions. Unless you were actually physically abusive to her, there is NO EXCUSE for her to have an A. And, even in that case, an abused spouse should just leave, not cheat.

You did nothing to make your WW cheat. It was her decision. And, I have learned, especially in cases where they are somehow feeling neglected, it is a cowardly decision. Isn't it easier to just confront your spouse and talk your issues out? How many of us, if we knew our spouses felt so ignored, neglected, frustrated, or whatever it was that they say tempted them to wander off to someone else's bed, would not have done all they could to change - to make their marriage strong again? My H said I spent too much time with our DS's and had nothing left for him. When I think of how selfish that reason is, I could spit! But, still, had he told me at the time, I honestly would have made an effort to spend more time with him, making him feel special and adored like OW did.

Please, befuddledhubbie, don't go down the path of self-blame. You are hurting enough.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, September 22nd (Monday)

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 2:06 PM, September 22nd (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 22nd (Monday)

Today is just one of my down days. i get DD back tomorrow after the friday pick-up heartbreak. Will do my best for/with her.

I don't usually blame myself, but WW used sex life as an excuse, and OM 'sorry you didn't do better' . They said that weeks ago, but i attended a video series "laugh your way to a better marriage" last nite, and the topic was improving your sex life. It is funny, but the topic came off serious with repeated reminders for guys not to be lazy, and i recognized myself in that.

A is still her fault, but M situation borders A. Actually A is at the bottom of a cliff, and WW decided to bungee without a cord.


Thanks for the prayers. I have hope, but it has been a constant reminder that my hope is in the Lord, not in her.

God bless


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
neecee
Member
Member # 43523
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, September 22nd (Monday)

Good Lord do I need prayer. I've abandoned my faith and not walked with God as I had for 15 years. The last 4 years of my life have been challenging to say the least. And although I cried out to the Lord many times through my struggles,I've somehow been trying to navigate on my own through my battles, knowing full well that when I am weak, HE is strong. I know we all go through seasons, but I am allowing the enemy to have his way in me. My pastor says "Set up a tent and have yourself a pity party and the devil will show up with marshmallow's"

I know this. I know what I need is Jesus to take the reigns. I know I need more of him and less of me. I know all of this. I know for a FACT, that HE is the ONLY way to my healing.

Please pray for me so that I take the necessary steps to allow God to move in my life again.

Lord knows I cant do it without HIM.


What doesn't kill me.....better run cause when I get back up I'm gonna kick some ass!!!
me 44
WH 46
married 19 years
together 28 years
3 children 16,14,7
OW-lucky to be alive!!!!
D-Day 5/8/2014

Posts: 151 | Registered: May 2014 | From: new york
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, September 23rd (Tuesday)

((necee))

You are in my prayers. Drawing closer to God is helping me get through this mess. One step at a time one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time reaching out for God and his unfailing love.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday)

(((neecee))) I too just said a prayer for you. It is amazing how much comfort God can provide on our darkest days - if only we turn to him! And, for me, that is often the hard part. I wallow in my own little pity-party for a while and then I pray. And I often get surprised that I actually feel better afterward.

God has helped me to deal with my feelings for the OW. And without Him I could never have forgiven my FWH, as the truth keeps trickling in, even today and yesterday.

I send hugs to you all. I pray for you all every day. Here is my list (if you are not on it and wish to be, please let me know):
Crushed15Feb13; Seethelight; Janus2014; Skan;
Befuddledhubbie; LumpyLola; Devastated30;
Brokenheartedwif; Fromthisdayforward: LA44;
Blakesteele; Peacebemine; Soconfusednow; Yme;
Swat70; Sosorry17; Hurt2deeply; Amazingatlast;
Hopeful77; Karmahappens; Ostrich80; ItsaClimb;
Bionicgal; Olwen; Trulysad; Isthismynewlife:
Heartbrokenlady; Justinpaintoday; tushnurse;
bigupz32; Lark; Delilah169; Gracerunner;
Brentwood; Plainpain; Glassgirl13; Nodoormat;
Lilies; Foundoutlater; Firstlovelost7: Deena04;
and Neecee.
God has put you all on my heart. I wish you all the best!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, September 24th (Wednesday)

Needfriends, thank you for your continued prayers. My husband sent me an email last Friday telling me he thinks we're at the point where we just need to get a divorce. On the one hand I feel better because I'm not in such limbo anymore. On the other hand this is not what I want for us, and not what I think God wants, but only he can choose to turn back to God and to face this mess head on and he's not doing that right now. I'm praying for him daily, that his heart would soften, that he'd let go of the bitterness, that he'd seek after God again because he says it's been such a long time.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
Trying2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 43024
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, September 24th (Wednesday)

I would like to ask for prayers from any who would be willing to pray for me & I have prayed for all on SI, but need to be more consistent with it.

I was raised in church from my birth on & have always relied on my faith to get me through. I was molested as a child (by an uncle), have lost loved ones, battle depression, chronic pain & other health issues, have watched a son battle drug addiction & helped him overcome it and ALWAYS my faith was strong. But over this past 13 months since finding out my H had an A with a sister in law 25 years ago & many of MY family members knew about it back then & Noone told me, I have wavered in my faith greatly!

I still attend church service on occasion & I try to pray, but it's just not the same. I can't get to a place of acceptance, and have not forgiven my H, the OW, nor my other family members. I also have started drinking on a nightly basis...something I've never done before!

My H is extremely remorseful & is trying to do all he can for me (even though I feel there's a little more he needs to do) but the anger & resentment are huge!

In the past 25 years since the A, he has been a good husband and father, and a good Christian man, but I think this has set him back as well. So I'd ask that you pray for him too.

This has also caused problems with our married son & his wife sent ME a very hateful email almost a year ago & has turned our granddaughter against H & myself. We have not spoke since then and it's breaking my heart. I also harbor resentment toward my H for this because I feel he brought this pain & sorrow into our lives when he committed adultery years ago!

I appreciate any & all prayers for myself & my family. I will be praying for each of you as well whether you are a BS or a WS. I believe God wants us to forgive one another as he has forgiven us, but I need his help in doing this.

May he send blessings & comfort to each of you & your loved ones.


Me:BS
Him:FWH
2 DS:35 & 30 , 2 D Grandchildren
"Oh the webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive"....My WH quotes this often.
I found out about H's affair 25 yrs later.Mine is my own "Life is a journey, travel with Care."

Posts: 301 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New Mexico
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, September 25th (Thursday)

Gosh, I have many thoughts on what both you, GlassGirl13 and Trying2LoveAgain, have shared.

GlassGirl, I am so, so sorry your H has decided to go through with a divorce. But my prayer will be - that in spite of this action - your husband will change his mind and that you two can be reconciled as I know you desire to be. God is bigger than anything this world and all of the sinful people in it can devise. You would not BELIEVE what He has done in my life, my H's, and even recently for the OW in our life. Please don't lose hope.

Trying2LoveAgain, the pain you have expressed deeply touched me. But the thing is, I KNOW that it touches God even more. He loves us so much more than our puny human minds can begin to understand. Please return to Him. He did not cause any of those terrible things to happen. People have free will and make choices that hurt us and that grieve Him terribly. God has always been on your side. He is the ONLY One we can and should completely place our trust in. I have added you to my prayers.

Hugs to you both!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, September 26th (Friday)

Struggling with sin.

Thats what the human condition is. We are all fallen.

At work I often invert a problem and it helps open up new perspectives. New perspectives usher in new choices.

Invert the above problem......

Instead of "struggling to avoid sin" think of it as "struggling to remain faithful".

For me it takes the emphasis off my brokenness and puts it on my ability, with Gods help, to do the right thing......often times in spite of my selfish feelings.

Thats all I got.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, September 26th (Friday)

Blakesteele,
Yes, you are so right, our struggle becomes one of "remaining faithful". I couldn't have said it better. And although it's a more positive way of looking at things, it also places a bigger burden on us - in an "ultimate" sense. Because when we fail at being faithful, we feel like we have not only let ourselves down, but God as well. In a way, it should keep us from falling too deeply - this struggle to be pleasing to our God. And it is herein that much of my confusion lies with what H did. He was a leader in our church - all through the affair years. He talked the talk big time. Even the OW told me that she could not understand how he could do what he did with her based on that fact. Remaining faithful, it seems, is sometimes more difficult than struggling to avoid sin....

You made me think, BlakeSteele. Hope I didn't bring you down with my analysis. It's just that this has been a huge issue for me, for our son, for our pastor, and even, as I said, for the OW.
Peace to you as well.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, September 26th (Friday)

On struggling to remain faithful:
Is there a difference between acknowledging your circumstances and resigning yourself to them? I'm not sure if i am acknowledging, accepting, or resigning myself...

My WW is stubborn. Infidelity to a lesser degree, and D to a much higher degree can be ascribed as 'generational' curses.

Is my losing hope that things will get better, that WW attempt to R after leaving OM, pausing D, and having the fog lift, a sign that i have lost faith in Him?

I know that He can do anything, and i know He knows what's best for me better than i do. But do i lack faith because i don't pray with the optimism i started with?I am clinging to God, even if i don't pray everyday like i was at first. But am I denying Him the ability/opportunity to change things by moving on, and accepting things as they are?

On one hand i am willing to keep my heart open to her, knowing it will cause more pain. On the other hand letting yourself get hurt is a great way to cause more damage and prevent healing.

I know what's right, but how do you love these enemies who were once our 'one flesh'? you can't make them love you, and they are often delusional to the point of blaming you for being forgiving, (not from my story).

So much on my mind. Been raging this week, murder in your heart is better than blood on your hands. Keep praying. DD is with WW at OM for the weekend again *sigh*


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, September 27th (Saturday)

Befuddledhubbie, I was just about to do my Yoga and prayers when something told me to see if anyone here was struggling with anything specific.

It is so tempting to feel like God has let us down when we are hurting so badly. Befuddledubbie, this, more than ever, is the time to turn to Him with complete openness. He feels your pain and loves you more than you know. I have seen in my life why He is called the Great Physician and the Mighty Counselor. I hope you will soon experience those aspects of God's character as well.

Hugs to you!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, September 27th (Saturday)

Good discussion all!

"Generational sin".....wow. I just understood this concept this week. Cool that it was mentioned here.

Remaining faithful IS harder then sinning. Selfless is harder to be than selfish......never more so than when you are in pain!

The story of Job is a sobering one......appears he was forever faithful but trials, severe trials were still a part of his human experience. Lost family, wealth and health. I have no doubt he has a glorious spot in heaven as that must be why God allowed such trials into his life.....Hod knew Job was a great man and wanted to mature him on earth for great rewards in heaven.

Please keep in mind that I am still new to this.....spiritually still starving. I am eating more every day but hardly full. Kwim?

Sure appreciate this forum.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, September 27th (Saturday)

Needsfriendhere
Just saw my name on your list....THANK YOU!!!

In mass when we pray our silent intentions all of you are in my prayers!!

Reading Richard Rohr has had a profound change in my life....learning how to be still has been quite a challenge....but its working....
I sent him a letter not to long ago and thanked him for helping me on this journey...ill share a bit of his written response to me.

"People like YOU make all this work so worthwhile. I am actually convinced that we all have to go through at least one situation of betrayal failure sin or rejection to mature into real Christianity. I think you both have passed the test!"
When I feel sadness coming on I read and reread this.
as Blake says....God is with us all!!!
thank you all for your prayers!!


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, September 28th (Sunday)

You are welcome, Hopefull77!
And I have come to believe that, handled faithfully and with our eyes on Him, situations of betrayal, illness, failure, rejection, and conquering of sin certainly helps us mature as Christians. Thanks for sharing this!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, September 28th (Sunday)

I know that He can do anything, and i know He knows what's best for me better than i do. But do i lack faith because i don't pray with the optimism i started with?I am clinging to God, even if i don't pray everyday like i was at first. But am I denying Him the ability/opportunity to change things by moving on, and accepting things as they are?

In the book I just finished, A Loving Life in a World of Broken Relationships, the author goes through the story of Naomi, in the book of Ruth. He talks about the lost art of lament, how Naomi laments, prays in a way we would find offensive, getting right in God's face, she even accuses him of being against her. I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but perhaps we don't have to always pray with optimism and to ask for the "good" things, or be a "good" Christian. Maybe sometimes we just need to lay out all our hurt, anger, feelings of betrayal, whys, in front of Him.

After Naomi's lament, in her grieving, God doesn't punish or lecture her for complaining. He weeps with her using human agents to show his love. The author mentions that this kind of honesty rarely characterizes our praying. I know I have trouble praying like this, it doesn't seem like "good" Christian praying to tell God that what he's allowing seems unfair. If it seems too difficult or foreign to pray this way just pray the Psalms :) One third of them are laments. A few the author mentions really resonate with me.

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me (my marriage, my husband), from the words of my groaning (my weeping, my tears)?" Psalm 22:1

"O Lord, why do you make us wander from your ways, and harden our heart, so that we fear you not?" Isa. 63:17 (remember that we're madhatters, we've both screwed up royally and my personal A came at a time when I walked away from God's call in my life and it certainly felt like my heart was hardened.)

Just some thoughts that came to mind reading through recent comments.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, September 29th (Monday)

Glassgirl13, yes, yes, yes! God wants us to let out our true feelings with Him. He knows our hearts anyway. It's not like we can hide what we're really feeling from Him. The story of Naomi is a beautiful example of that.

Pour your heart out to God - weep before Him if you need to. The results can be miraculous.

I have wept before the Lord and screamed out my frustrations. And I have felt the compassion of the Holy Spirit at those times. As I said before, He is the Great Physician and the Mighty Counselor. Let Him bring healing to you.

(((Glassgirl13)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, September 30th (Tuesday)

(((Glassgirl13)))

Forsaken in a fallen world.

I am getting that.....

On a business trip and am learning to NOT idealize people and to accept that we do indeed live in a fallen world and that human relationships have built into them......pain. Our deceitful heart pulls us away from God. God knows this and gave us a spirit of power, love and self discipline to counteSelf discipline is what we are called to use to combat our deceitful heart and selfish (sinful) desires.

30 years I ran from this truth as if knowing it would make it hurt more.

It's like if I chose to NOT believe in gravity and stepped off a roof top. I would fall and think "see, there's nothing to that gravity thing"......all good while falling. It might feel weird but I could deal with it.


Then.....splat! The ground.

God is real. Generational sin starting with Adam and Eve is real. Until we get to heaven, we will have pain as part of our lives.

As I accept this....there is a peace about it.

Peace and pain can and should coexist.

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 4:28 PM, September 30th (Tuesday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, October 1st (Wednesday)

I feel like this is the only place I can share what is going on in my life and the only place I can ask for what I know I need at times like this: prayer.

OW managed to get a message to me recently that just shattered me and set our R back about 10 steps. FWH denies having ever said what she says he said, but I tend to believe her because 1.) all I have gotten from him has been trickle-truth, 2.) he never denied anything else she said prior to this, 3.) I am convinced they say anything to get their rocks off (pardon the expression), and 4.) she has saved every text he ever sent her and kept journals of everything he said when they were together.

I am STILL committed to make this marriage work, but it just got about 10 times harder. A part of me HAS HAD IT!! Another part of me reminds me that FWH is not that horrible person he was when he was with her anymore. When he found me crying and I told him what she told me, he actually put his head in his hands and began to weep. It was REALLY about as cold and cruel a comment as a loving wife (I have always loved him and was completely blindsided by their A) could ever hear.

Please help! And please keep me, my FWH, and our marriage in your prayers. Thank you!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, October 1st (Wednesday)

(((nsf)))

I'm right there with you. The TT is enough to make anyone go insane. I'm so sorry the OW feels she needs to insert herself into your lives and continue the destruction. I'm praying for you both.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, October 1st (Wednesday)

We need continued prayer, too. I just found out that WH was seeing prostitutes. The story is here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=542866

I'm still in shock, literally, just shaking, barely able to cry. I know God has a plan for each of us, this set back just seems so big. When I first found out I found one and told myself that it was in the past and didn't really change anything, except that he lied about it and that's what hurts. The counselor in me understand why he lied, the shame he feels in his addiction, etc. The wife in me doesn't know what to do with this and part of me just wants to take the easy way out, to cut and run. For now I'm going to go lay in the sunshine and soak up the last of the warm weather. My mantra right now is self-care, survival.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, October 1st (Wednesday)

Thank you so much for your prayers, Glassgirl. I pray for you each day. I am sorry about this latest development. I don't know how recent your H saw these women, but please make sure you both get tested for STD's. Please! Condoms do not protect a guy from all of them. My H did not use condoms with his AP and we are paying the price for it, as he was not the only one she had cheated on her H with.

I sometimes feel that this just won't end. Every time H and I are doing well, something happens. We get, maybe, 3 or 4 days of peace and then Bam! I either find something in our house, he gets "sick", or OW finds a way to get to us.

Hang in there!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 1st (Wednesday)

You both are in my daily prayer list.

TT'ing sucks......it is abuse and occurs in waywards that have found regret but not remorse.

Needfriendshere....dreadful news. Mr needfriendshere must do a timeline and full confession now. Gracerunner never did....but her fAP dumped her like a hit potato. He got the sex he wanted 3 times and left. Was into another woman within 2 months.....hell, he might have been into her at the same time, just confirmed 2 months post my DD.

I still would like a timeline and full account....but you need this. You do because you are being attacked all around. OW is no more truthful than your husband. They lied to enable adultery to be a choice, they lied to keep it going.

Sounds like you can't escape the onslaught....your husband MUST defend you, shield you.

I pray that is Gods will.

Peace, my friend.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)

After 2 years of intensive therapy, fellowship, tirp to a third world country, and bible study I am at a new-to-me spot.

I got a sweet promotion that greatly increases our household income. I can totally do the new-to-me tasks. And yet......

I find myself contemplating changing jobs and even careers.

Information is transforming into revelation....only I can't see what has been fully revealed to me. KWIM?

Another moment of faith. I am sure of it.

But what to put my faith in?

Traditionally, my faith was in my abilities and my career. Notice the word "my" in that?

I so desire to do Gods will in my life.

When I had my promotional interview it was a most peculiar couple of days.

Monday morning my pastor checked in with me, asked if I was ready to be publicly baptised at church. I told him I think I am close. That night I tucked my oldest daughter in and out of the blue she says "Daddy, I think you need to go under the water". I made up my mind this was God's will and I made the decision to do the public ceremony to testify to what I had done 8 months earlier with my pastor...accepted Jesus as my savior.

Tuesday morning I was preparing to go to my promtional interview, my gut acted up strongly, I popped open my wifes computer and discovered she was on OM FB page. Yadda Yadda Yadda....she had been lurking his FB since he dumped her. I went to the interview and recieved a promotion.

Personal victory in that I was able to view the truth of my wifes choices...they were HER choices and I continued to NOT be a factor in them. Professional victory in that I was able to stay focus on the task at hand and come to a satisfactory conclusion with a promotion.

But right now I don't have full revelation...I don't know what God's will is for me.

Anyone have expreinces like this?

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)

blakesteele, do we ever really get a full revelation in this life? Sometimes the picture becomes clearer but I think we're always looking through darkened glass. We'll only know the full story when we reach heaven, a place a look forward to eagerly (but not in the depressed, suicidal way).

I think often, too, God just says trust me, I've got this, you don't need to know it all. And we have to be content knowing that he has our best interest at heart, even when that looks like our world being torn apart and stomped on.

At our women's retreat this year a woman whose name I can't remember spoke about suffering and how it is part of God's good plan for us. I bought one of her books but put off reading it because I literally had the thought that if I started reading it God was going to bring something difficult into my life. I opened the book finally, a few months later and within a week my life was unraveling as I was finding out about my WH's secret life, his disgust for me, and his desire to end our marriage.

And maybe one day in this life I'll have the bigger picture. Maybe not. I believe ultimately I will and can honestly say right now, even while I'm still physically feeling the trauma course through my body, I will praise God for this and however he's going to use it for his glory. And least that sound like I'm being a martyr, I'm also crying out and asking why he could let this happen. Because God is big enough to handle my dramatic gamut of emotions and feelings. And just because I feel overwhelmed, shocked, betrayed, unloved doesn't mean I can't also trust that God has this in his hands.

I've been doing a lot of rambling here over the past 24 hours so please forgive me if that's hard to follow.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)

((Glassgirl113,NeedFriendshere,Blakesteel)

Remember they are broken and they say a lot of crap, when they are in the middle of their Adultery and fog. Broken people do very broken things, and continue to protect themselves even after the Adultery ends. You are all in my prayers.

Also remember that Satan hates marriage, so the attacks may be coming because you and your wayward spouse are doing something right that infuriates Satan.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)

Glassgirl13...if your rambling and wandering, I am getting it and following you!

Your retreat and book event in your life? Totally relate to that. For the previous 2 years leading up to my wifes A my anxiety was growing steadily....finally I reached a point where I sought therapy. Wife was right there "supporting" me in the therapists office as I struggled to find that which eluded me.

4 weeks later, my first DD happened. While her A was not going on the entire 2 years of this growing anxiety, she was definately under investing and pulling back. As she did I did more and more of the same....but it was not helping. This was the start of the end of the way I was doing life.

God was at work in my life the whole time...but I was so "me" focused, I did not see it as such.

And that is why I am not sure what to do right now.......

I am deliberatly trying to NOT do what I feel like doing...but rather to wait on God and understand what it is I am to do, regardless of my feelings.

I have stopped IC about a month ago....therapist was pretty insistent that I know what to do. I have grown enough spiritually to stop drinking the milk and start eating meat and potatoes. She has encouraged me to choose based on biblical facts and trust God that the feelings WILL follow.


I "feel" the draw to go back to therapist, but the facts are I know what to do.....not specifically with my job, but with regards to making myself open.

Open to intimacy with my wife, open to intimacy with God.....and facing the pain that will follow as I do. Pain from my wife as she finds her own way to being authentic and fact-based choices or not to. Pain as a result of what God will continue to reveal to me in my life....acutely but lovingly pointing out parts of my own deceitful, selfish heart....and then Him asking me to trust Him that He is at work on fixing it (the great surgeon).

And relational pain will be felt. My coping skills were designed to "protect" me from feeling relational pain. However, I foolishly thought they were actually protecting me from relational pain. NOPE, just keeping the painful feelings at manageable levels....the pain was and is real. It is a result of living in a fallen world. It is part of our original sin that we are born with. It dates back to Adam and Eve.


BrokenheartedWif....the whole fallen world thing is real, as is satans attack on me, my M and family. I agree with what you state, as does my pastor...that attacks will INCREASE as gracerunner and I make choices that please God.

Grateful for this forum. God is such a player in my life.

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 9:46 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, October 2nd (Thursday)

Blakesteele, first of all, congratulations on your promotion! My feelings on what you should do - right now - is accept it for the gift it is. But always keep your options open. If God has another job out there for you, He will open that door for you and, in your heart (by means of the Holy Spirit though prayer) you will know with confidence if you should walk through it.

Glassgirl, I have learned to trust in God with confidence that ultimately all things will work together for our good. What we often have a difficult time with is His timing versus ours. In the 30+ years I have known Him, I have learned that I have sometimes had to wait 5+ years for a prayer to be answered. But it is ALWAYS clear to me when it finally happens why I had to wait. Yes, in this world we will have tribulation. That is guaranteed because we live in a broken and fallen world. But never forget that He has overcome the world.

Yes, there will be suffering - we are a classic example of that - but I think it is how we handle that suffering that makes the difference. Turning to Him, reaching out to our brothers and sisters for prayer, comfort, and encouragement will ultimately bring us peace. And when that peace comes, we can look back and see how God's hand was in it - how He never abandoned nor forsook us.

Hang in there!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, October 2nd (Thursday)

Today is a little bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand i celebrated with DD the day i found out my WW was pregnant, a true fathers day. On the other hand, i had to start this tradition without Ww because of her decisions.

Glassgirl-having a book and not reading it until later resonates with me too. Have been holding on to Neil Anderson's "victory over the darkness" and Gary Thomas's "sacred marriage" for several months, however it wasn't until EA was full blown, perhaps first PA event, that we read the marriage book, and by then the stress of everything i read the victory over the darkness to align my self with who i am in Christ during this time of suffering.

blakesteele-i too am willing to suffer for the benefit of my M, however i'm afraid that beyond her poor choices i may have reacted poorly. I questioned her faith/salvation twice, but i know she is the catalyst in these events. She has to repent before we can make progress.

I really would like to talk with her and bargain/nice her back, you familiar with the 'love dare?', but i am sticking to the advice of SI.

I'm also considering being baptized publicly. Was given a child's baptism in 96', but never really stood up and claimed it for my own. Questioning whether to do the polar bear baptism this winter or to do it before it gets colder. Also invite WW? don't think she would come but i don't know her mind/heart only God does.

BTW if anyone is looking for books on certain faith subjects, i have almost a decade of experience in Christian retail. just PM me for suggestions

As for prayers go, the rage has subsided to be replaced by sadness. Really never this expressive before DDay, but psalm 6, 10, 83 and Isaiah 43 are my go to scriptures right now. Reccommend the Message bible for the first reading, then your translation of choice.

G'nite, God bless, and may His presence always be discernable to us.

[This message edited by befuddledhubbie at 8:39 PM, October 2nd (Thursday)]


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 3rd (Friday)

I have read just about every book out there on the subject of infidelity. And my FWH and I did "The 5 Love Languages" together, which was pretty awesome in helping us to understand how this could have happened to two people who undoubtably love each other so much. But the book that always brings me comfort and clarity like no other is the Bible. I am studying Isaiah now, of all things, and even that book speaks to my heart daily, bringing me to tears through its insights and understanding.

The Bible is all about God's love for us. And about how He is our Mighty Counselor, Great Physician, and Father Almighty. Yet in the Bible we are repeatedly told that we will suffer tribulation. The really cool thing is that, if we turn to Him when we do so, we grow so much closer to Him and so much stronger, in general. I weep when I see my brothers and sisters in Christ turning away from God in anger or when they lose their faith because tragedy befalls them. It is ESPECIALLY at those times that we can grow closer to the knowledge of Him and become more Christ-like - if only we turn our full attention on Him. Just my 2 cents....


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, October 5th (Sunday)

Thanks for the advice needfriendshere. I'm praying on what to do but what you advise is solid. Interestingly enough, the while "tribulation" promise has come up in several areas if reading lately......

befuddledhubbie, gracerunner and I did the Love Dare. It did not change our relationship much. Why? Here is my take. I offered it as an alternative to MC, of which my wife wanted to stop doing. She "appeased" me. Fast forward 1 year....I have a 3rd DD. I discover my wife is lurking OM FB page over the entire course of our "R".......through $10k worth of therapy, a "Weekend to Remember", Retrouvaille, all of it she was still getting adulterous hits from her A fantasy.

She continued to choose false intimacies over real intimacies.....until that stopped, R was severely hindered if not blocked all together. Should have been a flag for me....when she wanted to stop MC and offered no new choices of her own as to how to grow and nurture her M to me. I have a responsibility in this too! My choice to do do do was not new nor healthy either.

I think both 5 Love Languages and Love Dare are great resources......but both spouses must chose for THEMSELVES that they actually care about their M and family enough to invest in them. Gracerunner had not reached that point when we did that stuff.

Was it a waste? Absolutely not. It must have been Gods will for my life. I say that because all of that combined matured me emotionally and spiritually. Gracerunner was noticibly missing from that process.

Gods way of removing yet another idol from my life? Yes, I think so. It was done in such a way so as to leave our union and family entact. I was tempted to sin (RA, use porn, workaholism) but did not......but I did stumble. At 18 months out I used porn once. A humbling experience and one that has also helped mature me.

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:48 AM, October 5th (Sunday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Glassgirl13
Member
Member # 44702
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 5th (Sunday)

Through several conversations/arguments and a nasty fight, WH has finally said that he called escort #s because it was exciting but never saw one and he didn't want to tell because it was shameful and embarrassing, which I completely understand. Our challenge is that he no longer cares about a relationship with me. He has so much bitterness inside it's eaten away at his soul so that he even questions his whether he has a relationship with God anymore.

My heart breaks continually for him and the place of hopelessness he finds himself in right now,fearful he'll stay lost forever, and for the fact that I can't help him through this. Maybe God is trying to help me look at myself instead of trying to fix others as my counselor tendency has led me to do throughout life.

Sometimes I feel like I have subconscious continually running prayer/cry going out to God. And other times I feel like can't even pray. Right now I want to pray but just the thought of praying makes me start crying and I'm so exhausted from crying, stuffed up and sick from bad allergies or a cold, and needing to function soon to do my job which involves continuous labor support for a woman while she labors and has her baby, often through the night. I have no strength for this right now and know that only God can get me through what feels like an impossible time; my work and my life.


His DDay: 11/05 when I confessed my '02 affair
My DDays: 4/17/14 (sexting), 4/21/14 (SAs and EAs)
Kiddos: 10 and 8

Not in limbo any more. He wants a divorce.

Chin up, eyes ahead, one foot in front of the other.


Posts: 72 | Registered: Aug 2014
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, October 5th (Sunday)

Blakesteele, I can feel your frustrations, but am encouraged that you have matured in your faith. You and your spouse have done so much. I hope you have found time to have some fun together - just going out and having fun is just as important to bring healing as is counseling, marriage encounters and figuring out each other's love languages. Try to be patient - God will complete the work He has begun in your wife just as He is doing in you. Not everyone comes to that place of healing, enlightenment, or even true repentance at the same time. Hang in there!

Glassgirl, I know what it is like to just be too tired to even pray. At times like that, just be still and listen for the Lord. Turn to Him in your heart, be it in the shower, while driving to work, or as you drift off to sleep. He is always awake, always there, always loving and caring about you.

Tomorrow is my day of prayer again. Although I pray for everyone on the following list every day, tomorrow will be more concentrated prayer:

Crushed15Feb13; Seethelight; Janus2014; Skan;
Befuddledhubbie; LumpyLola; Devastated30;
Brokenheartedwif; Fromthisdayforward: Blakesteele;
LA44; Peacebemine; Yme; Soconfusednow; Swat70;
SoSorry17; Hurt2Deeply; Amazingatlast; Hopeful77;
Karmahappens; Ostrich80; ItsaClimb; Bionicgal; Olwen; Trulysad; Isthismynewlife; Heartbrokenlady;
Justinpaintoday; tushnurse; bigupz32; Lark; Delilah169; gracerunner; Brentwood; Plainpain; Glassgirl13; Nodoormat; Lilies; Foundoutlater; Firstlovelost7; Deena04; Neecee; and Tryingtoloveagain.

If you would like me to add you or your spouse to my list, please let me know.

God has been nothing short of miraculous in my life since Dday - in spite of the efforts of OW (at several points) to break me down. It is His desire to bring healing to you all.

I send you all hugs!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 5th (Sunday)

Thanks needfriendshere!

Peace


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, October 5th (Sunday)

Thanks blakesteele for your candid response. I still have trouble disassociating taking care of myself from being selfish somedays. By focusing on my issues and relationship skills i will be better prepared no matter what the outcome of WW choosing D and OM at the moment.

I've been watching laugh your way to a better marriage at my church the last few sundays, and i learned something about how each of us were failing each other and communicating poorly.

Tonite was hard because it ended on the note of forgiveness being important to sustaining the balance in M. After dday i asked for forgiveness regarding my contributions to M, but she denied it to me, even as i was telling her i would forgive her for A. sigh...

BTW i was referring to books on any faith subjects, not just M and A. OT, NT, endtimes, theology, the church. I like to read and debate this stuff. I have alot of head knowledge in my faith, and A has caused me to really dig deep into heart knowledge. I also know that i can't fit God into any perfect little boxes. i can't know anything perfectly regarding Him, other than His love and care for me.

Small question, cursing AP and/or WS. A good thing, a bad thing, a tolerated thing? On the one hand hate in your heart is murder, on the other David wrote some pretty nice curses on his enemies in the psalms.

Needfriendshere if you could pray for my WW i would be grateful. I know she has some doubts about God as part of her trust issues.

Put me in the extreme minority, i'm sure, but when i don't feel like mutilating OM and cursing him, i do pray that he actually gets to know God instead of pretending like he his. i even pray that another woman comes into his life besides WW.

i'm ready for the 2x4's on that last part, but i hope everyone has had a blessed weekend.

God's peace to you all


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, October 6th (Monday)

i do pray that he actually gets to know God

This is where I am solidly at now. Yeah, I had mad mind movies roll through my head when I saw OM filling up his truck last week.....but I didn't have anger, just disgust. Shallow I know....but he is a dumpy middle aged father of 5. I'm no Harrison Ford, but am way better looking than him! the images of my wife physically having sex with him still disturb me.

But I pray for him, did within minutes of that movie ending.

Whether he and his wife decide to do their M differently it not....their choices have consequences on those 5 kids. Right now he is into another A.

It is from compassion for his wife and children that I find motivation to pray for him.

I also realize he did not force adultery into my M....gracerunner invited it in. Nothing special about him other than he was just a guy that said "sure, I'll come in and sit for a spell". He was no threat to my M and family had my wife said "no" instead of "yes". The threat was and always has been, gracerunner.
And I, to her. We are the only two people who can hurt the other through adultery.

Relational pain is a real result and risk of being in relation with someone.

I am getting closer and closer to that "pray constantly" way of living that is spoken of.

Oh....and curse words describing the OM? Totally get that....I believe God does too. He instructs us to bring our issues to Him. Also, plenty of examples where righteous men yell at God Himself.

His grace, love and mercy is impossible for me to fully grasp....and that is by His design too.

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:38 PM, October 6th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, October 7th (Tuesday)

I am in a spot that's bigger than me. I have anger, pain, saddness within that I cannot handle on my own....am unable to express. Temptations and selfishness are strong. Please pray a specific prayer for me so that I feel God with me, He can help....but I feel isolated and alone.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, October 7th (Tuesday)

Blake I hear you loud and clear!!!
We believe God is bigger than us....the human side takes over....and it is so painful!!! My biggest struggle is acceptance.....I think acceptance is all about our EGO...if I accept does that mean I wasn't good enough?
We had a beautiful weekend ....but I fell apart last night....it was my ego.....I was worth losing....bla bla..
Prayer does not fall on deaf ears...I have learned this....God never leaves us....ever
Peace to us all!


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:09 AM, October 8th (Wednesday)

Thanks hopeful77. I have a group of 4 who I consider my prayer warriors.....though I am not bold enough to tell them that's what I consider them.

We are to be in constant prayer.

You mention ego and pride. 3 years ago I would pray.....over a meal or last resort. I took great pride in my life......financial freedom, dedication to family, hard worker, successful career, etc. oh I would thank God for things but always had an "I earned it attitude". Guess what? This trial has done nothing if not stripped away idol after idol in my life and humbled me! Painful, but needed. I see that now. God uses humble people.

I am learning to pray as part of everyday life.....and learning to visit with God first.

The more I grow spiritually, the more I see how God allows trials to prepare people for doing His will. I don't know what His will is for me yet, but am choosing to trust Him. As I do I am newly and fully aware of my own sinful deceitful heart. Pastor tells me this is a generational condition handed down from Adam and Eve. I am not to hate it, but am to confess it and use my free will to control it.

God does not give us a spirit of fear, He gives us one of power, love and self discipline.


Yesterday was tough....probably the most alone I have felt. I say this because NOW I am no longer avoiding my painful feelings.

I tried to express one such feeling to gracerunner.....it added to my isolated feeling. Painful, but trust God has my back.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, October 8th (Wednesday)

Early on with my walk with God (about 6 months after DD)
I studied "the armor of God". It was no accident this was the first topic of my bible study group. No, I had no role in choosing the topic...in fact, I just showed up to the group.

It has seved me well since.

But yesterday, when the isolation and darkness was deepest I reflected back on what God gives us in such times.

I noted that all of the armor is designed for forward battle.

There is no doubt in my mind I am to go through this valley....go through the pain this fallen world has to offer us as I walk towards God.

There is no mention of retreat from this pain and the armor is designed for forward progress. We are called to flee temptation. But temptation can't HURT us because it can't MAKE us do anything.

Satan himself can't make us do things....he is a fallen angel, not the equal to God who CAN make us do things but out of love for us, allows us to use our free will.

I finally get this.

What BS wants a spouse that they feel they have to laden with lists and rules to "make" them have an engaged M with them?

My CoD was doing that...and it failed miserably.

Make no mistake about it. When a spouse chooses adultery they are NOT choosing to care about anyone but themselves. It is total abandonment.

Since sin is sin, ALL sin does this....it isolates us from all others.

Thankfully we can choose to walk away from sin just like we choose to embrace it.

That is Gods desire for us all....He tells us directly. "Flee from sin".

Jesus rebuked satan 3 times....Jesus even questioned Hods will for his own life!

It's hardly popular to talk about satan in America today....and isn't that a crafty ploy by him? You don't defend yourself against an enemy you don't recognize as such.

I know. I was that man.

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 4:45 PM, October 8th (Wednesday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:16 AM, October 9th (Thursday)

Another bad dream last night....

Woke up quickly, heart racing. Nothing new to that but.....

I went right to prayer and my first thing was "God.....help me".

This is the part I need help with.

I immediately felt guilty.....like I did something wrong because I went to my need first, before I thanked God for all that I have.

Thoughts?


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
inNOoutNOinNOout
New Member
Member # 45092
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, October 9th (Thursday)

God sees our hearts. Not only what we say, or what we choose to do, but what we think and feel. Blakesteele, you are talking to Him. That is what He wants. That is what you need. To thank him first or last, to ask for help before or after...doesn't really matter. He sees your heart. Just keep talking to him.


BS: Me 29
WS: Him 31
DS: 13mnths
Together: 10.5yrs; Married: 4yrs
DDay: 3/8/2014
7-ONSs (Over 6yr span); 1-10mnth EA/PA

Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, October 9th (Thursday)

Thank you inNOoutNOinNOout....you reminded me of what my pastor tells me. "Don't get hung up on the right sentence structure or every little detail....God already knows. Just turn towards Him and talk".

Its pretty cool to be walking with God rather than just knowing of God.

Its also cool to have people help me with that walk along the way....like you just did.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
inNOoutNOinNOout
New Member
Member # 45092
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)

If anyone is reading this today, I could really use some wise words. I recently decided that I should divorce WH. We are attending retrouvaille this weekend as kind of a last resort, but I already spoke with an attorney and plan on filing for divorce after this weekend. Here are some things that weighed on my decision:

WH is willing to work on himself and wants to become close to God again. He is going to therapy, but there is still so much that he can't see or accept about himself. I see the road to recovery for him being years long, and I am not sure that he will 100% follow through as he has struggled with facing difficult issues his whole life and often retreats to what is easy or immediately satisfying. To me, wanting and doing are two separate things, and while he is fully in the "wanting to" phase, he has not yet crawled out into the "doing" phase. He is overwhelmed and freaked out right now and can't do much. He also does not know whether or not he loves me (or ever did) and whether or not he wants to be married.

I also am not sure whether I love him or not, because I feel that we have never really let each other in or gotten to know each other. Initially, I thought that this might be beneficial as we could possibly just build an entirely new relationship (since we never really had one), but I now feel that that is not realistic. We dont have much in common and I am dealing with a lot of negative feelings about his As right now. I decided that these things are too much for me right now and what I really need to do is focus on healing myself, my own personal growth, and taking care of our son. He is unable to be there for me emotionally right now. As difficult as the decision was, I made it feeling that it is what is best for me right now. I know that we may be able to R in the future if he gets better, but right now I feel R is not possible.

I then come across some articles about people who feel as if they married the wrong person or feel they and their spouse never loved each other. They claim to have built love for each other through God. It makes me feel as if I am giving up on God or going against what he has given me. It makes me feel like I am trying to take the easy way out and not working on our marriage. I mean I don't think that I am, but reading these other stories makes me feel like I am just weak for leaving.

Can anyone offer some advice here? and maybe some prayers for this weekend?

[This message edited by inNOoutNOinNOout at 5:41 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)]


BS: Me 29
WS: Him 31
DS: 13mnths
Together: 10.5yrs; Married: 4yrs
DDay: 3/8/2014
7-ONSs (Over 6yr span); 1-10mnth EA/PA

Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)

(((inNOoutNOinNOout and Mr inNOoutNOinNOout)))

Yep. Hugs for both.

Look....I am struggling too. Have sought legal counsel as part of my journey too. You know of my most grievous sins. I am broken.

Here is what I think I am learning;

At age 12 I vowed to hide parts of me.

At some similar age GR vowed similarly.

Coping skills were developed and kept that mode of operation going.

You guys wonder if you ever loved each other. Do you think you loved yourselves?

I thought I loved myself.....and it turns out I did. But I also discovered very dark parts of myself. I also am learning how this hiding from oneself and others was never going to get me to mature intimacy.....a desire of mine since childhood.

Furthermore, God desires us to have and enjoy mature intimate relationships...including one with Him.


"Blake. How is your relationship with God?"

"We're good. I mean, sometimes it's a struggle, but it's pretty solid most of the time."

"So you struggle at times with that relationship?"

"Yes"

"And one of you in THAT relationship is PERFECT!"

"Dang it pastor!"

God designed marriage to make us holy, not happy.

I am so new at this righteous living thing. I pray God is working through me as I write this post. It's wisdom I gained from a trial He allowed in my life for this purpose....to mature me.

'Course, sometimes I have to have several similar trials in a row to mature as He desires me too. Not His fault....I have a selfish deceitful heart too....and that dang free will gift!

I pray Retrouvaille speaks to and opens up your heart so that you may find the path He wants you to take.

Keep the faith.

God is with us all.


[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:59 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)

You owe it to yourselves and each other to live fully authentic lives. It's only from doing this that healthy confident decisions can be made.

The truth shall make you free.

Sins and other things that hide parts of us are forms of bondage. We deceive ourselves that our coping skills are healthy....and that deception, like all deceptions, lead to unhealthy decisions.

Feel your feelings but only use them to find the facts causing them....don't let your feelings dictate your actions. They too will deceive you.

Deception is satans greatest tool to tempt us to sin. Living authentically is a tool that takes that power away from feelings and allows real facts to be gathered and evaluated to make healthy choices.

Kwim?

Keep the faith.

You are not alone.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
inNOoutNOinNOout
New Member
Member # 45092
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, October 14th (Tuesday)

Thanks so much blakesteele. While I know that this is a decision that only I can't make and only through God can a healthy one be made, it really helps to hear encouraging words from others. I think to myself sometimes too, God did go through this. He has been through every pain so that he can be the one sitting right there next to us saying, "I know exactly how you feel." I know that all these emotions are muffling his voice and I am struggling to just be still most of the time. I have this subconscious belief that I have uncovered that says that to be Godly means to be completely selfless. I guess I feel that wanting to leave it putting me first, and therefore further from God. I'm trying to learn to decifer between selfishness and loving myself, and between selflessness and healthily caring for someone. I have so much to learn and understand about myself and God. Thank you again for the kind words. I'll be praying for y'all as well.


BS: Me 29
WS: Him 31
DS: 13mnths
Together: 10.5yrs; Married: 4yrs
DDay: 3/8/2014
7-ONSs (Over 6yr span); 1-10mnth EA/PA

Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2014
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, October 15th (Wednesday)

Your welcome.

Ever pray it was anything but adultery?

I do.

It's one of only two sitches that I can tell that God offers D as a choice. The other is being abandoned by a non-believer.

Like you.....I feel there is a reason this particular trial was allowed into my life. And like you, I still don't fully know what that is and if it is His will for me to fight for or protect myself from my M to gracerunner.

He hates D, but adultery us singled out.

Sin is sin though.....and I have my own sexual sin of lust satisfied with porn use.

Ugh.

A third DD just 3 months ago has me baffled too.....

It is sooooo comforting to feel His presence, knowing He will not forsake or abandon me.

God is with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 3:41 AM, October 15th (Wednesday)

Adultery is an out, i just wish WW would realize that it's more my choice than hers.

Biblically we as the betrayed are given the mercy to move on, but only with His leading. A truly unrepentant/remorseless spouse is no spouse at all, and so to protect us He allows us to move on.

I hope inNOoutNOinNOout that this weekend gives you peace one way or another.

IMO having a spouse who at least wants to try is an improvement that should be used until it proves unviable.

If you guys could pray for me, I would appreciate it. Not to put any blame on anyone of SI, or even God, maybe a little bit on WW, but it is hard to read stories from so many people who at least got False R, or not divorcing for a period that leads to R.

I still have days where i can't believe she didn't even try. Seeing that some WS actually give a crap makes me think, how did i miss this trait in her?

Remember, we are His beloveded.


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
BrokenheartedWif
Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, October 15th (Wednesday)

(((inNOoutNOinNOout befuddledhubbie)))

Praying for both of you. This isn't easy, and the rollercoaster feelings and thoughts don't help. I know that Satan attacks harder when my spouse and I are doing something right. Satan hates marriages and anything that could Glorify God.

The first book I read after I found out about my husbands affair, and at the point I didn't know the truth about the possible length and that it took place in my bed as well, was "Every Heart Restored" A Wife's Guide to Healing In the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin By Fred & Brenda Stoeker God must have lead me to that particular book, because at that point I didn't know about his Porn problem and that he had a Lust problem. There's a part in the book about accepting a pair of possibilities:
"1. God may have created your marriage in part for the messy work of helping Him heal your husband's wounds, of assisting our husband in his journey to Christian maturity."
"2. God may have picked you to be the central figure in this work of restoration from the very beginning. How do you know this marriage isn't among God's highest dreams for you life?"

Later in the book it says: "We don't always know what God is up to in our lives. In a perfect world, we would be able to physically walk with Him, talk with Him, and know His thoughts. But in a broken world, we have to trust Him even when we don't understand. First, know this; it's not his will that your husband's sin would wound and damage you. He hates what perversity does to marriage, and He grieves with you over the sadness. But it may be His will that your husband's sin be exposed, that the hurts underneath be addressed and healed, and that in the process your own weaknesses and wounds be healed as well."

I've held onto these words in this long twisting journey. I feel that you could substitute wife for husbands in the passages above as well.

Continually pray for God's guidance and grace and mercy in this journey.



He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 70 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, October 16th (Thursday)

Please go this weekend with an open HEART...
The God I believe in is ALL merciful....
this almost 2 year journey into R and the 2 years during the A has been a most incredible journey....a journey of complete humiliation and utter sadness....along with beautiful moments of joy and yes even some tranquility...
appreciation of each other mixed in with what the hell were you thinking?!
The book by Henri Nowen RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON...began a true spiritual awakening for me....before my husbands A I always related to the GOOD son....
then reading Fr. Richard Rohr...and really LISTENING to him ...well its a transformation for BOTH of us...
he has had a profound effect on my beliefs....I know God never left my side....ever....nor did he leave my H's side ever...


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
blakesteele
Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, October 17th (Friday)

The book by Henri Nowen RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON...began a true spiritual awakening

For me too. Thanks for the recommendation a few months back. It stirred something deep in my Mom too.


Powerful book.

Peace


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 4041 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, October 20th (Monday)

I am attaching today's Daily Devotion by Richard Rohr...This is going to be one of those deep digging weeks...


Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation

Luminous Darkness


Inexplicable Darkness

Monday, October 20, 2014



St. John of the Cross writes, in his prologue to The Ascent of Mount Carmel:

“A deeper enlightenment and wider experience than mine is necessary to explain the dark night through which a soul journeys toward that divine light of perfect union with God that is achieved, insofar as possible in this life, through love. The darknesses and trials, spiritual and temporal, that fortunate souls ordinarily undergo on their way to the high state of perfection are so numerous and profound that human science cannot understand them adequately. Nor does experience of them equip one to explain them. Only those who suffer them will know what this experience is like, but they won't be able to describe it.”

You can’t go forward by “knowing” in the usual way, but only by experiencing. At some time in your life, I hope you are so ambushed by God, that God catches you by surprise. If you try to go by what you already know—John of the Cross makes it clear—you will pull God back into your pre-existent categories, and you won’t get very far. That is why most people stay with their childish faith.

When God leads you into a dark night, it is to deepen and mature your faith—which, by its very definition, “is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) The gift of darkness draws you to know God’s presence beyond what thought, imagination, or sensory feeling can comprehend. During the dark night the tried-and-true rituals and creeds of religion no longer satisfy or bring assurances of God’s love. (So you might get bored with church services for very good reasons too, but that is not the same as mere spiritual laziness or a lack of faith.)

God is calling you into deeper and closer intimacy, beyond anything you could achieve with your most sincere attempts, closer than you could even dream. But you must learn to proceed without any guarantees from your feelings or your intellect. That’s the only real way to grow in faith and divine love.


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 642 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
befuddledhubbie
Member
Member # 43990
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, October 20th (Monday)

After my bit of venting to WW, in general from this weekend, I've felt like explaining that to God and to me she is still loved and forgivable is something she needs to hear. I care about her spiritual maturity, but because she won't let me be her husband i can't be the spiritual leader of 'our' home. Simply because to her there is no our.

I came across this quote "right thinking about God exists to serve right feelings for god"

That being said, the following scriptures are on my mind:

the greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength. and to love your neighbor as yourself.

to love your enemies, and bless those who persecute you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!Try me and know my thoughts!And see if there be any grievous way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting!

continue to pray, as i do, that His Spirit, His glory would be evident in my life. i want His love, glory, and holiness for myself and those around me. these are the gifts that i want to have that i might be able to give them back to others, even in the midst of trials.

I don't know how long it will take to be happy with the divorce which is still pending, but i am actually realizing how most of my M i put her happiness above my own. Engagement, house, car, and so many more minutia.

*sigh* Jesus help us all


BH 25, WS 25, DD 15month
7 years, 5 married, d-day 7/5/14
WW living with OM since 7/26/14, WW started D
R not likely...

I like the story of the prodigal son, but he didn't have sex with the pigs.


Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Michigan
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, October 20th (Monday)

It's been a while....The last time I was here, InNOOutNOinNOOut was considering divorce, but it was just before going to Retrouvais. Please tell me how you are doing and what you decided.

Blakesteele, I don't know what you decided concerning your job. That is still something I am praying for.

I have added the following people to my ever-growing prayer list:
Heartbroken0903 (and her STBX); Crushed Again;
thegreatwife; GeauxTigers and his wife; and InNOOutNoinNoOut.

I can still use prayer too. H and I just got back from a trip to Mexico, where I got very, very sick. While being treated by the doctor, I saw a look come over FWH's face - a look of, for lack of a better word, disgust. Disgust that I could die 8 months after he left his OW of 6 years and how unfair that would be for him to lose us both. There is no other way to describe it.

H and I had a painful discussion yesterday, after which I felt beat up and oh so tired. H is committed to making our marriage work, but admits that he loved OW and had a "crush" on her because of how successful she was. He defends her cruel comments to me by saying that she is not thinking when she says them and is just hurt, so I need to cut her some slack. He also said that I need to "keep him on the straight and narrow" when it comes to his faith. And you know what? Right now, it just feels like too much work.

I'll do it, but I am sick to death of it. Why should I be responsible for his walk with God? If "I" slip up or slack off, will that give him an excuse to cheat again or to WANT to cheat again? He tells me he is weak. Aren't we, as human beings,, all weak?

Please pray for me and for him. And forgive me for being so vague. There is so much I want to tell you all, but, frankly, I'm embarrassed - embarrassed that I am still with this guy half the time. Embarrassed that I think so little of myself that I have put up with so much crap for the past, now almost 7, years.

God help us all!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
plainpain
Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, October 28th (Tuesday)

Struggling today with revenge fantasy - feeling angry at myself for loving him so much and immediately working for reconciliation. I wish I had had the opportunity to throw his choices all in his face, leave him, bring his world crashing down around him. His repentance has been so deep and he is such a changed man. He grieves because he sinned against God - and ultimately that is what will keep him faithful to me. But I wish he grieved because of what he did to me. I feel kind of "by-passed" sometimes. Don't know if that makes sense.

Our marriage has never been better, he has never been a better man or husband... I want him to be faithful because he loves me, not because he loves God.

Anyway, it's depressing me and I could use prayer. Still think about that fatherless OC every day.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Jul 2013
needfriendshere
Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, October 31st (Friday)

Plainpain, so sorry for getting back to you on this so late. How are you???

I understand your feelings - so much. H actually told OW that he married me because he loved Christ, not me. Because I led him to Christ. And as nice as that is, it grieves me. It is not romantic. Nor does it mean he ever loved me. Plus, it wasn't enough of a love to keep him from straying, was it?

Now he is SO MUCH like your H. Just about exactly. And you hit the nail on the head. I want him to be faithful because he loves me - not ONLY because he has made himself right with God. He has been kind and thoughtful and romantic again. He constantly tells me he loves me "now". And I'm like, "well what about before? Did you ever love me before? Why all of a sudden is there this great display of love where it was seriously lacking before?"

O.K. Sorry. I think I've digressed a bit. But I get your point. I understand your concerns here. I guess we need to trust that if they have really made themselves right with God, that the Holy Spirit within them is helping them to truly love us as He loves us. Does this make sense?


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 431 | Registered: May 2014
hihn
Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, October 31st (Friday)

After reading several of the above messages the words in the song Oceans by hillsong came flooding into my head. I heard this song just days before Dday. I bought the song and it has gotten me thru some very rough spot since. Really it describes my journey with the lord since Dday. I believ the words of the song to be the following:

You called me out upon the waters. The great unknown. Where feet may fail, and there I find you in the midstream, in oceans deep. My faith will stand, and I will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace, for I am yours and you are mine. Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my savior.

Amen


Me BS 58yo
Him WS 55yo, porno & sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,he moved in with OW 3/9/14, moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners
TT is

Posts: 132 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
Topic Posts: 320