Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Port (45718)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "We'll have to work on that"...
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Funny  Posted: 1:00 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night I went to a big dinner dance event for the college staff. It's the union's 40th anniversary and they really went to town, getting a live band and fabulous catering for a $10 ticket.

The place (a curling rink) was decked out by the decorating committee and it looked gorgeous.

One of my team was already there and she had a table for my boss and I when we arrived after working all day, ready for adult beverages after a super fun day at work.

The carpet cleaners had come in on Friday and blown the fusebox so we had to turn away some testers because we couldn't get the computers going. The carpets were boggy and the place stank like a damp dog. We had to shuffle the regular tests into a hastily reconfigured space and revert to the paper version. Overall just a bitch of a day really... but we lived to tell.

So my co-worker is at the table, we sit down, my boss, bless her heart, brings me a massive G+Tonic.

An associate from another department comes in with her husband and they sit down, introductions all around with the spouse.

Then she says "Is your partner coming?" or something to that effect.

Now this is a gang with many successful long-term marriages, they've worked at the college since high school and have never known any kind of personal turbulence. Everything rosy, no major life events have disturbed their matrices if you get my gist.

My co-worker knows the whole sordid story about my disaster, we used to enjoy going to the House of Pain on our lunch breaks for tea on the patio while I lived there, and she and my boss would be happy if the x were quietly hung, drawn and quartered.

They get it.

So the Happy Associate asks this question, and after the day I've had, surrounded by all these happy smiley coupley people, I could easily have launched into the gory details.

What I said was "Uh, no, I used to have one, but not anymore. I got rid of him."

A heartbeat of a pause, the husband smiling and squirming a bit, then she says "Oh, well, we'll have to work on that."

I could see my co-worker looking at me with some small alarm, knowing I'm quite capable of spilling the shock and horror to whoever might care to know.

I just said "Uh, no."

Another heartbeat of a pause, then she says "Do you still live in that house across the road?"

"Had to get rid of that too, part of the story..."

"Um, oh, OK..."

My co-worker took over at the point with some light chitchat about the ice cream socials that now happen every year hosted by the new owner, a faculty member I sold the place to.

End of discussion.

I had two drinks and a nice dinner and rode home happy to my lovely apartment.

Interesting little foray into the World of Normal People. I wonder if my co-workers filled her in after I left, don't really care either way, but it sure is interesting to be reminded of the hell we've all survived here.

People have no fucking idea really.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:34 PM, August 24th (Sunday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17691 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
lknup
♀ Member
Member # 37433
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job! I am never sure how much to say about my own disaster story. You handled it beautifully.


Me: BW
He: WH
DD fall 2012
Getting a Divorce!

Posts: 189 | Registered: Nov 2012
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah. You handled it much better than it would have. Awesome job.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7816 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took her comment as wanting to find someone to match you up with -- which seems to be some people's default thought when they encounter a single person.

I envy the people who were lucky enough to pick an honorable spouse and have a long, happy marriage. How lucky they are to not have experienced what we have.

Good response and glad you had a great evening!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3465 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Oh, well, we'll have to work on that."

You're much more composed than I. This would have been my reaction:


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20433 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SAZ


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If my wing-women hadn't been there it probably would have turned into a different conversation, that's for sure.

She's a lovely person, don't get me wrong, just trying to make a bit of light conversation, I'm sure it's just a reflex to ask those kinds of questions.

It's just that everyone is so oblivious to the netherworld we all live in here.

It struck me as kind of bizarre is all, because it's the first time in ages I've been out and about mingling with people who don't already know.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:35 PM, August 24th (Sunday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17691 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most everyone I know, knows my story.

I didn't understand either, until I experienced it. I assumed that divorced people were somehow defective, or didn't TRY hard enough to stay married. I really had no clue.

My current problem is that people assume that SO and I are married or working towards that goal. We are not married and that is NOT our goal. We are perfectly content with our current relationship, and quite frankly, are happier than a lot of long time married couples we know.

I think you handled it very well.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7786 | Registered: Aug 2005
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"We'll have to work on that".
Like you're a project that needs finishing?

Oy....


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for cl


Posts: 6680 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13859 | Registered: Jul 2011
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17691 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.