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Newest Member: VHCSLP (45432)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Healing Is a Long Process
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm over 3 1/2 years out from Dday, quick though quite painful D after that.

One thing I valued is that I've kept a close relationship with my XSIL and her family. Her kids still call me "Aunt persevere" and I watch them so XSIL and XBIL can have a night out every 3-4 months or so.

I've been invited to the kids' bday parties each year. At first they weren't inviting XWH but over the past few years they've been rebuilding their relationship bit by bit which I understand. She is still not fond of OW, but being civil. Last year they invited me to one, DS in August, and XWH/OW to the other, DD in October, as a compromise.

This year I hadn't heard about any celebration, but their DS turned 4 and I just saw on FB that they celebrated yesterday, and honestly, it hurt. First time I've had that feeling since probably last year. (I'm so glad I have XWH and OW blocked so I can't see if they were tagged).

I won't say anything. Just take the high road and ask when I can bring by his gift. Play with the kids.

I know this is a normal progression, but it's one area that's hard to let go. XSIL has been so amazing and supportive thru this whole process. I knew she would move forward with some level of normalcy with her brother at some point, as she should, but it still hurts. It feels like yet another loss from the infidelity monster.

Thanks for listening to me whine...lol.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4618 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((persevere)))) I'm sorry, honey. Even when you understand it, it still hurts.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, sweetie.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20313 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Persevere)))


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Persevere))))

Ouch! Sorry for this new hurt, I miss one of my SILs, but I can't be in touch with her bec of the infidelity monster. It's a sad thing and it's worse when there are kids. I miss my little nieces and nephews.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5871 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)) You know it's not whining when you do it here...we get it, we understand.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3216 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Persevere))))

I'm sorry. Of course that hurts. I guess it's another hurdle crossed even if one you wish didn't exist.

Upwards and onwards.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 7

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