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Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

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User Topic: Found out new info
Mel61
♀ New Member
Member # 43697
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are trying to reconcile, doing counseling and talking. I know he hasn't told me everything and probably never will. I know the time frame and various other details, so this was no shock but I found out today that he was texting the ow on our 25th aniversary trip! I also found out that he chose to be with her this past Valentines day. At this point I just need ideas on how to handle this, dramatics will always work against me, he has foo issues with this. Logic works better, we see our IC this coming week. We have the same one at this time. Any thoughts would be great! Obviously I'm very hurt but am trying to hold it together, screaming would scare the cat and our two teenagers!


Trying to hold it together

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Kansas
JLyn1128
♀ Member
Member # 41915
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My birthday is coming up in a month and I came to the realization that he was probably with her on my birthday last year. I think he was with her at lunch... I know he came back from my birthday dinner and got right on the computer with her. I know because I saw the email on DD. It's going to be very hard. I know everything and I had to ask myself..is that any worse than anything else he did. I have to assume that he may have been with her on valentines day, our anniversary, or any other day that was convenient to them both.

I'm having a problem with it, and he wants to do up my birthday this year. I just want to ignore it. I'm not even going to tell him why I'm disgusted by the thought... I made a promise to myself not to beat him over the head with every errant thought that passes through my head. I know we should have the right to express our sadness and talk about triggers... and we have. But, as long as he's doing the work I don't want to kick him in the butt. I mean, I'd like to , but how productive would it be. I talked with my IC about it and we came to decision to go ahead and make it MY day again. I'm taking back the places and days that he gave to her. I thinks that's what works for us anyway.


Me BSO 62
Him WSO 62
Together 29 years, living together 17. He's been with her off and on for half of that.
OW - Available. Thinks 'love' is in the way he looks at her.
Status - R and hopeful

Posts: 105 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: CA
Topic Posts: 2

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