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User Topic: moving on
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With a premature newborn in the hospital and a husband that lied all the way through the "I Do's", I am finding that my give-a-care is gone and it's not me. I'm not me anymore. I am ready to move on without him. It's been up and down and my mind just can't settle down with him. It hurts like hell to call it quits, but this was my deal breaker! He cheated deliberately, lied to me, and then married me and didn't think enough of me to allow me the right to know. My marriage has been a sham! It makes me so mad because not only has he done this to me, but the kids will have to feel the pain of separation because of it. I just needed to get this off my chest. He tries and I do feel he is a good person deep down, but it has been too much and it's too late.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1070 | Registered: Dec 2013
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

Sending mojo for your new journey


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52599 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you; I'm sad that he's not who I thought he was. He says he is and that he slipped for a while, but is back. The only peace I find is knowing I can move on and leave him, so that's where I'm heading.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1070 | Registered: Dec 2013
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck and stay strong. This isn't your fault and sometimes we just have to be true to ourselves. No shame in that. Definitely no shame in being that kind of example to your kids, either.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
holesinmybucket
♀ New Member
Member # 43621
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((deena04))

You are so strong and willing to listen to the little voice in your gut..screaming "This is a deal breaker!!" You know, deep down in your soul what direction is right for you. No regrets!!

It is better to act on what you know in your heart, then to sit in limbo, only to leave 3 years down the road..because it is just a deal breaker!

Sending you hugs and encouragement


me:BW 37
him:WH 37 (Dr. Jekyll)
DDay: 1/1/14
Whole truth:March 7th 14

DS 14 DS 10 DD 8
They are the sun that shine through any storm.

Love is not given away, but shared
When you have lost what matters.. what do you have left to loose?


Posts: 36 | Registered: Jun 2014
TheIrishGirl
♀ Member
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry. But I hope it helps bring you peace.

And hopefully he is that man and will be a great father for you kids.


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 577 | Registered: May 2014
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((deena))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25730 | Registered: Aug 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Deena))))
It takes both working really really hard and fixing their ugly bits. If that's not happening then by all means take care off you and your kiddos.
I hope you hang around I understand and visit the forums here. Great people and great support no matter what path you choose.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
determinata
Member
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((deena))))))))))

I understand the feeling and I'm rooting for you and your kiddos, especially the littlest one. It's good to have a line that you won't let be crossed.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
10yearsafter
♂ Member
Member # 43139
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you strength for your new journey. You are strong to make that decision.

Move on and be happy you deserve it.


Posts: 206 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Texas
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

deena04

I don't do the whole hugs thing. But I do wish you the best.

I know that for some it is just that. A plain and simple deal breaker. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. A are immensely horrendous on somebody in good health. And I cannot begin to imagine taking that and adding pregnancy and premature delivery on top. You are a strong woman. And best wishes on the next stage of your journey.


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 699 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all; he knows now as I just told him. He's upset and wants to earn my love back. I told him he had it and threw it away. He will go if I want him to, but seems pretty down. I can't do this with him, kids, demanding work, and my life in general. He will be telling the kids and why.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1070 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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