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Newest Member: StillHurtingHer (45319)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Taking my son to college
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 21st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow, we take DS away 6 hours to college. We are taking 2 cars (I think), XH is getting a hotel for the night, I'm staying at a dear friend. After moving DS into the dorm Sat AM, we will caravan back. DS has been a bear, XH is playing saviour since DS is so mad at me being the parent even tho he's 18 so XH is alllll fun. XH has also planted the seed with DS that if he loves it up there, he should just get a job and stay there next summer instead of coming home to big, bad mom. See, our agreement states that I continue to get CS through DS's first post secondary diploma/degree, as this is still his principal residence. He's trying to make it that this isn't, so he can stop paying me. He KNOWS in order for me to stay in this house until DD graduates high school (3 more years) I need the CS. I will have to move to another town in order to afford a house without the CS, and DD may have to change schools, or I can keep her where she is, but she will have to get up really early which she will hate. (I work at the school, so they will let me keep her there as a transfer, but I start at 7:30 am. If I bring her down, she will have to be ready to go by 6:45. Win win for him. CS goes down if DS doesn't return home, and DD will hate me even more.

Please just send me strength not to lose it on him when we stop for coffee on the drive home.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
9.10.11
♂ Member
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in a very similar situation. Son leaving, I'm the parent and xww is the friend they have fun with and don't get in trouble. Daughter is sick of my rules and tells me often that "mom is fun, your just mean." Mostly get this after I tell her to pick up her mess in bathroom or clean up her fingernail painting crap that is all over the house.

Prayers sent, DM. Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel.


Posts: 123 | Registered: Aug 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, my XWH is trying to pull this also, by telling DS 17 that he needs to man up and get a job and be self sufficient. I guess his atty told him I can get child support while son is at college unless he's self sufficient.

I am thinking that your son at college will want to do what everyone else does - come back home for the summer to live and see old friends. Plus, he will be an adult. During Christmas break let him know what the real deal is. Would he even be able to go to college if you don't receive the child support?


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Jan 2012
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

homewrecked, he's getting gov loans to go based on my salary alone, plus some grants since I don't make "enough". He needs my input though to fill out all the forms. Actually, he needs me to fill out the forms.

9.10.11, I know exactly what you mean. Makes it kind of hard to be "tough" and enforce things when all they can think is I'm an adult! I can leave when I want.

Off we go....


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
imwideawake
♀ Member
Member # 23386
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck today! Sending mojo!


Together 17 years.
Married 15
Me: BW, now 44
Him WH
dday 9/08
3 daughters, now 19, 17, & 15
Divorced 12/04/12

Posts: 893 | Registered: Mar 2009
Lola2kids
♀ Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

***OOps, a little premature since the trip is 12 hours there and back.***

How did it go DM?

I can't believe you have a kid in College!!

Chances are with him being 6 hours away and alone for the first time, he will feel some homesickness.
I know I did but I'm a girl.

I hope your ex didn't act up considering the emotion of taking your first born to college.

Hugs.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 10:08 AM, August 22nd (Friday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, August 22nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((DM))))

Strength and mojo.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, August 23rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I made it, and so did XH. I didn't kill him.

DS is thrilled to be there, and wanted us to disappear, after we set everything up and bought groceries, before we could do something to embarrass him. Had a few tears in the car on the way home, but I'm ok now. I'm pooped.

That sucked more than the first day of kindergarten. I can't believe I just left my baby 440 km away!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 8

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