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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honestly, filed paperwork and now he's around every corner
Riskybusiness
♀ Member
Member # 43475
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before this week, in the last month, I have probably seen STBX once. This week I have seen or heard from him everyday! Trying to keep NC is difficult when he's inserting himself into everyday.
Now, much of what he has been around for this week has been "rescuer" focused, and I am thankful for his help. DD19 was in a minor fender bender last Thursday (she's fine) and needed help with her vehicle. So communicated with STBX Thursday regarding accident (DD19 and I signed divorce paperwork this day), he came over Friday to pick up DD19 to move her car(needed repair, and STBX signed paperwork this day) he came over Sat. to take kids rafting(we met and signed final item this day), Sunday he came to pick up some of his stuff, Monday he called(went to vmail) to say DD19 car is in the shop, Tuesday he called to talk with DS15 and asked him to give me the phone, "just checking to see if you tried to call me, my phone is shut off, couldn't pay the bill." Me, "Umm, no, why would I call you?" Wednesday, he comes to the house! He wants to ask, "when I take care of DD19s dogs, (while the whole family is out of town) can I stay at the house?" He , of course, asks in front of the kids, so now I am the bad guy for saying "No"!
Ok, I know in the grand scheme of things, these are minor irritations. But, they're MY irritations. Why, the heck, must I see or hear from you every day following filing our final divorce paperwork, that I never wanted to file in the first place? I have come to acceptance, but, really!? Ugh!

[This message edited by Riskybusiness at 10:29 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me-39
HeeHaw(EX)
OW SmokyHo
Married 21 years
DD-19, DD-17, DS-15, DD-11
DIVORCED

Rejoice in hope, persevere in tribulation, be devoted to prayer. Romans 12:12


Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Pacific Northwest
LoveHerStill
♂ Member
Member # 31504
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When they betray and abbandon us, they want to believe that they did nothing wrong and that the marriage ending was a mutual decision and that we are OK with everything. They cannot face being the bad guy in all this, so they pretend that all is well and it was for the best.

My XWW did this same mindfucking shit for months after she ran. In fact, she still tries it now and again to this day. They just can't understand why we can't be all amicable and friendly.

They don't want to be the bad guy. That is all it is, more self centered crap from a broken soul.

Ignore it or better yet, shut it down by telling them that you can see that they are trying to manipulate you emotionally and that you need them to stop the play nice crap. This whit is poison to you and you need to minimize it as much as possible.

I let this crap go on for far too long and I suffered greatly for it.

Peace to you. NC is the only way to get past this crap.


Me BH-45
Her WW-44
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011

There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.


Posts: 465 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Seattle, WA
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At the beginning, when first signing papers, Perv was very "helpful".

This was before he knew his "rights", when he realized lawyers were looking in on us and he actually had guilt that he showed.

Also, he wanted to show good behavior so that he has something to present in court.

ETA, he could also nose around the place he left if he appeared helpful.

"Look what I did!" type thing, almost like a little kid.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 7:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 3

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