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User Topic: Heroin
strawblond30
♀ Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My daughter is 19 a troubled teen for years. A fifty year old guy has been shooting her up for two full years. Well glad to say he got busted dealing is there anyway I can press charges accusing him of shooting her up with out proof . Of course she won't agree to it she thinks she loves this scum.


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure about the guy but I'd worry more about getting DD into rehab.

And, get yourself to an NA meeting.

I'm sorry about your daughter.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38013 | Registered: Sep 2007
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly, because she is over 18, the chances of taking action against him and being successful in seeking punishment are slim. Unless, of course, he strapped her down and injected her against her will. I'm not being facetious when I say that but unless she tells the authorities he forced her to be injected, there is not much either of you can do. And it doesn't sound like she will ever do that until she gets clean and clears her head.

Heroine is a very powerful drug and it sounds like it has a very tight grip on your daughter. Hopefully, with him being arrested, she won't be able to score anymore. Detoxing from this can be terrible to go through and to watch.

I agree with authenticnow. Don't spend ANY energy on this guy but rather channel all of your energy to your daughter. Then to yourself. Get her into rahab and go to some NA meeting.

((((strawblond30 & daughter))))


Me, the "B": 41yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is an awful thing to have a child get involved with this.
I have a dear friend that went through this. She did the scariest, bravest thing she could. She packed her shit up, and drove her to her mothers home in BFE Tx. It saved her life. With no where to go, no money to spend, and no one to give herself up to she got sober, and the she got clean.
Dear sweet Grandma runs a bit of a farm, and she made the GD responsible for care of the animals, she started to bond. She found a passion, went back to JuCo, became a vet assistant. She has been clean and sober for about 10+ years.

I would do as the others said, and worry less about the dealer, there will always be another one, and worry more about getting her clean. And getting your supports, and coping skills in place to deal with this.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the worst things about addiction of any sort is that you can't save people from it, you have to let them hit rock bottom on their own and get help for themselves. Thereby running the risk that they won't ever do that. I have a cousin who was lost this way. No one knows where she is, and the last time any one dealt with her is was obvious that drugs had destroyed her mind - she's not even "her" anymore.

What you can do is go to NA and CoAA meetings (to help you learn how to cope and not enable) and to let your daughter know you love her no matter what, and that when she's ready to help herself out, you'll be there for her.

I'm sorry, watching someone you love destroy themselves is one of the hardest things to go through.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3120 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strawblond - are you going to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon? You need to get treatment and support for yourself. It's the best thing you can do for your child.

In terms of your child, treating opiate addicts is very hard. They need in patient treatment and will only get it if they want it. Sometimes the best way to leverage someone into treatment is using the criminal justice system.

Your post is very short, but it concerns me that you don't see your daughter's actions in her own addiction. He may be the one shooting her up, but I've met many IV drug users who were uncomfortable shooting themselves up so used others to do so. I'm guessing that he is not tying her down and pumping her full of drugs? I'm not saying he isn't scum - he sounds like filth of the earth. However, your daughter's disease is not based on her partner. If it wasn't him, she would have another joint user.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My brother is a heroin addict, clean since 1997. The ONLY reason he got clean was because my mother was no longer able to bail him out/make excuses for him. He went to jail. There he derided, found a guy w/o said, "this could be the best thing or the worst thing that has ever happened to you." He started NA meetings and hasn't looked back.

It's the hardest thing you can do, to let go of your child when they are an addict. It is also the greatest act of love.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3652 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
strawblond30
♀ Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can not afford treatment , she did get meds for withdrawls . One day at a time for sure.


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strawb

Al-Anon and Narc-Anon are 100% free (for those with an addict in their lives). AA and NA are also 100% free. There are many state agencies that will provide free or dramatically reduced prices for treatment centers and sober houses.

Addiction is a deadly disease with a worse prognosis than most cancers. Detox drugs (although I suspect they put her on replacement therapy like suboxone or methadone) will not "cure" addiction. While detoxing can help someone who is simply dependent on a drug, it does not keep addicts sober. This is why relapse is so common.

While dependency is one component of addiction, what makes someone a full blown addict vs. someone that became dependent on a drug is a myriad of factors including genetic and environmental. This requires specialized focus by a team. I'm serious when I say to view this as if your daughter was diagnosed with a highly deadly form of cancer - search out all of the resources available to you and your family.

I strongly, strongly encourage you to at least start going to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meetings. You can google those organizations - they have meetings all of the time.

[This message edited by hurtbs at 8:43 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

naranon.com also has online meetings.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38013 | Registered: Sep 2007
imstillangry
♀ Member
Member # 30154
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please contact the national drug abuse hotline. They can connect you with resources in your state that are free or low cost. Tell them everything, they really can help, with treatment and legal help. I have a daughter also with this problem and have had much experience with this. You are not alone. Hugs to you. Also, if you have any questions, feel free to pm me.

Posts: 456 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Florida
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While she is able to use the meds is the time for her to enter therapy or a program. Do you have insurance? If so there are programs at childrens hospitals if one is near you that provide counseling and medical treatment together. They accept up to age 23.

Ask the group or provider that is coordinating the suboxone or methadone treatment about therapy. If sheis getting methadone ask about transitioning to suboxone. More young people and more treatment options as well as more of a chance of weaning off.

12 step programs for you both, yet thst is something she has to be willing to do.

Have faith and much strength. It can be done.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 4:52 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you are going through this. What Tushnurse said about her friend taking her daughter to a place away from drug friends, etc, I highly recommend. I was a drug addict (not heroin), and my mom just picked me up and drove me to my aunt's house in PA where I had no drug friends, no drug connections, and my aunt watching my every move. I HATED IT. But it was the first step towards healing. You must get her away from all drug friends and connections. After I stopped, a few months later and returned to my friends, they tried everything to get me started again( even pinning me to the ground and tried to force them physically on me! with me fighting and turning my head, that is how hard I fought to stay clean).

I got accepted to a university soon after that recognised my gifts as a writer. Once I found I had something to offer to the world, I never looked back. A bit like Tushnurse's story also.

My cousin has a son who is a heroin addict. Close to 30 now. He got involved because he is a DJ in NYC, and though he has gotten clean, whenever he goes to NYC, meets up with his addict friends, he is back on. My cousin has bought her 'funeral dress' she plans to wear when her son dies. He says he can never stop, he knows one day he will die. All her attempts to help him failed. He cannot get away from his friends, even though his girlfriend is not an addict and tries her best to keep him clean herself.

I have another friend who's partner is an ex-heroin addict. He also got involved through the rock-music industry. He is clean now, but she absolutely freaks out in a panic if he starts talking about meeting up with his old heroin-taking friends.

My ex's grandson died this year of a heroin OD. It was the first time he tried it, his friend gave him some. His friend had built up a tolerance, gave the grandson more than his body could handle, and he died.

The common denominator in all these stories? FRIENDS WHO TAKE DRUGS PUSH THEIR FRIENDS TO TAKE DRUGS.

My advice is get her physically away from ALL ways she can contact any friend who has any connection with the drug.

Good luck. You have a fight on your hands. But it can be done.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 192 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A possible alternative:

http://www.clearskyrecovery.com/


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 14

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