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Newest Member: Ktee (45330)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Need advice...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do NOT give him Mr. Man under any circumstances!

Cats have been known to just "disappear". (Yesterday, a neighbor was going around with a photo of her cat because he's been missing for 2 weeks now; & he was an indoor cat but cats have a way of slipping out "just for a moment").

My cat was taken by a great horned owl/coyote while staring up at the bird feeder 4 years ago.

Her son, who is 11 now, has another cat he grew up with still mourns for her! He still looks for her and meows mournfully. He does not understand where Mother Amber went.

It is cruel to seperate the 2 cats in this manner because the NPD jerk is just being spiteful -- which he is.

So get creative and please do NOT allow this poor cat to be taken in this manner!

YOU CAN DO IT.

(((huge hugs)))

[This message edited by dreamlife at 11:20 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
LoveHerStill
♂ Member
Member # 31504
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the cat comes up in conversation, just tell him the cat stays, it is part of the family and it is in the best interest of the cat to stay in the family. If pressed further, just keep repeating "the cat stays" till he drops it.

I can't imagine giving away either of my beloved cats. They have been a huge source of comfort and healing for me. I spend much more time with them now and spoil them. Spend more time with Mr. Man and he will stop triggering you. I like to come up with new nicknames for them. Currently, my orange tabby is Orange Flavored Lifesaver aand my precious female tuxedo is Velveteen Kitty because her fur is as soft as velvet! Maybe a new nickname will stop the trigger.

Just keep repeating "the cat stays" till it penetrates his thick skull.


Me BH-45
Her WW-44
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011

There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.


Posts: 493 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Seattle, WA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I apologize in advance if someone else already said this.

My Dipshit STBXH has our cat, because this kids and I are living with my folks who are allergic. But he knows that I have right of first refusal if he ever decides he can't keep the cat.

Just frankly tell him that you are exercising your Right of First Refusal and keeping the cat.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
notmeanymore
♀ Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to see you're not giving him the cat.

Why would this 23 y.o. want his 10 year old cat anyway. If this person is so desperate for a cat there are plenty to be found.

I'd hate to see your NPD hurt you further by telling you something like "oh they couldn't keep him either so I took him to the pound" or just having him put to sleep.


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 872 | Registered: Feb 2006
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! ***The cat stays*** Period.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he wants to give some girl from work a cat so badly, tell him to go adopt one from the shelter.

Posts: 1731 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
NobleHeart
♀ New Member
Member # 44414
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there....

You are SO nice to even feel like you OWE him "his" cat!

I would NOT give the cat away, he is just trying to hurt you and he is not thinking about how hurt the cat will be since he is already bonded to you and the other cat. FORGET this ass*** and just flat out tell him that you are not giving the cat away, PERIOD! If he wants he can take you to court-he will not do it.


Left his ass!

Posts: 13 | Registered: Aug 2014
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. Nobody takes a cat in a divorce and gives it away. Maybe I am jaded because my NPD xwh killed my cat, but something seems awfully fishy about the whole thing.

Actions speak louder than words. His actions show him getting an apartment that does not take cats. He could have found one that does, but he didn't. So he doesn't get the cat. I can't see a judge forcing you to give your cat away to some 23 tear old kid that you don't even know.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3391 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
SeeingRed
♀ New Member
Member # 43015
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I have definitely decided Mr. Man is staying. If he *loved* his cat so much he would have rented a place that allowed him to keep him.

My plan was always to go completely dark on him once he got his junk outta my house so I am not responding to him at all about the cat or anything else ever again.

I kind of hope he does try and tell the judge how he would rather abandon *his* cat than leave him at the only home he's ever known because he loves the cat soooooo much


Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2014
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Print out the email or text, if you have it, in which he indicates he plans to get rid of the cat. Just in case he decides to take you to court.

Then get your kitties some Cosmic Catnip and love them up.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 30
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