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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Really?....is he for real?
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got a text message this morning:

‘I miss you very much. I look at my photos of all of you and I just cry because I’ve lost you all. I’m not well and I know it but I cannot help myself. I left because it really was not fair to drag you down and hurt you anymore. I will always love you and I’m sorry everyday’

Here’s what I think of this:

‘I miss you very much’
Er…no you don’t. Why are you missing what you don’t want? Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

'I look at my photos of all of you and I just cry because I’ve lost you all'
Er...liar, you don’t have a photo of me and you walked out so, yes, you have. Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

‘I’m not well and I know it but I cannot help myself’
Yes, I agree….you are one sick motherf*****r. Oh, really, you don’t seem to have a problem with helping yourself to what you shouldn’t have. Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

‘I left because it really was not fair to drag you down and hurt you anymore’
Er...liar. You left because you had an itch that you wanted someone else to scratch. You are not that altruistic. Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

‘I will always love you and I’m sorry everyday’
Er…what’s that then? In a ‘we both know I’m not what you need’ kinda way. Yes, you are one sorry SOB. Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

It really must be going tits-up in Unicorn fartland

What a self-pitying POS! Really, is he for real?


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count em people. There are TEN I's in that text. Selfish whiner

I'm surprised you're not so taken with his eloquence

But hey, I get cursed at, so at least he's being nice to you.

Maybe just reply, "k"


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He must be bored or having a tiff with OW.
I would get those "You will always be my soulmate" type texts from XWH when he needed a fix.

Ignore and have a good laugh. What a loser (he is)!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6442 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I EVER receive a text like that from The Princess, my plan is in two parts:

1. Forward a copy to her boyfriend.

2. Reply "Are you on fucking drugs?"

That is all.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1920 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling sorry for yourself are we?

That sounds rather accurate. What a total, colossal, fucking douche nozzle. How bout any of the following responses (totally in jest, of course):

1. I miss you, too, Anton LaVey (whatever the wrong name is)

2. Who is this?

3. Wrong number, sorry

4. Screenshot sent to OW

2. Reply "Are you on fucking drugs?"

I wouldn't even ask XH, cause the answer is yes, nothing else has changed, why would that?!?


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 751 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys would really forward them? Fuck that. I'm doing the same courtesy she did me. Not a damn thing.

If he's bothering me, he's bothering one of his other bitches too. Just whatever. I'm gonna sit over here in my lawn chair and watch the karma bus roll through. I'm not lifting a finger..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
KeepOnMovin
♂ Member
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2. Who is this?
^^^ This!

Yes, it reeks of, "I feel so sorry for myself." and "Thing's have not worked out between me and OW, so i need somebody to feel sorry for me, pack my lunch and have sex with me until i can find another one."

Things are definitely "tits up" in unicorn farmland!


Me: BH
Her: who cares?
Married: 22 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Divorced on 9/4/14!
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 299 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love how they rewrite history as to why they left. Mine said he left because I was so angry. Luckily I documented that day so well and the three days between dday and him leaving. "I may choose her over you and the kids". "I don't want this anymore, I'm leaving"

They are all asses. Seriously. I have no respect for them. The only regret I have is my children having him as a role model.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 350 | Registered: Apr 2014
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really must be going tits-up in Unicorn fartland


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3348 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
hopefulmom44
♀ Member
Member # 44136
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! this thread makes me realize how vulnerable I am and the fact that I probably would believe him! I have lots to learn from all of you!!

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jul 2014
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hopefulmom - there was a time when a text like this would have melted my heart. I would have wanted to contact him, to help him and after all, he said the L word and that changes everything......

Actually it doesn't. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are begging to differ.

So I can no longer believe a word he says so I have to take everything he say with a pinch of salt.

One whiny text does not change anything.

I've realised that I have control over whether he can hoover or fish. So I don't give him an in and he can't hurt me. NC = No new hurts (thanks SI). So I post on here and really look at what these texts are actually saying and as everyone has reconfirmed, they are not saying anything of any substance.

It is hard but I am learning. Work in progress here


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really read the words hopefulmom.

He did not say, "I'm not well, and I know it, BUT I PROMISE TO WORK ON IT." He said, "BUT I CANNOT HELP MYSELF."

Sooooo, he made it obvious he is NOT dedicated to working on himself.

He also didn't say, "I left, but I'm going to do anything and everything to earn you back." He said, "I left because (blah blah bullshit)."

You can absolutely tell he's feeling sorry for himself, because he's fishing for compliments. He's fishing for rugsweeping. He wants ASD to say, "But we can work it out. It's okay. I forgive you. I still love you. Let's fix this. Etc..."

If the BS is trying to convince the WS that they are willing to forgive them, INSTEAD OF the WS PROMISING to be a million percent dedicated to fixing himself, then that relationship is fucking doomed.

Keep reading. You will learn the difference between regret and remorse. Regret is that he's bummed his fairytale blew up and he doesn't have wifey at home and slutty on the side.

Remorse would look totally different. It would be a promise that he would fix himself, NO MATTER WHAT.

That really was a "feel sorry for me" and "I'm a weak fucking coward" text.

He was looking for ASD to show that she can still be manipulated, but she has grown, learned and gotten her confidence back, so that kind of manipulating bullshit doesn't work on her anymore


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow Butterfly...thank you for this.

I knew that the text was just self-pitying mindfuckery but I never thought about what it should've said if he was truly trying to be remorseful.

I'm a way I am glad I wasn't even looking at it that way. Didn't even enter my head. Perhaps there's hope for me yet.


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
hopefulmom44
♀ Member
Member # 44136
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Thank you Butterfly. Great explanation.
ASD- I can see why his texts annoy you. Hang in there!

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 14

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