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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Help getting past depression
StartingFreshNow
♀ Member
Member # 44224
Stop  Posted: 10:14 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To preface this, I have bipolar, but I do not use that as an excuse.

My problem is after DDay #2 (1 week ago) we are struggling greatly. R is on the table, as well as D. Either way we are in process of selling our house because of all this. My problem is I feel myself getting depressed. I know the bipolar plays a part and maybe I can't do anything to prevent it, but at the same time I'm awfully convinced the depression is driven by my situation and NOT the bipolar. Of course someone in my situation would struggle with feeling depressed. Starting to pack up our house yesterday was hard, plus I'm getting more and more behind on sleep which is a real problem for me - it triggers me. However I can't find a way to catch up because even when I sleep, I don't sleep restfully.

My question is, how do you get past the part of you that wants to be depressed? How do you throw that aside so you can focus on the important stuff like trying to help your spouse heal, trying to fix yourself, and trying to build back what you've lost?

Do you just "buck up" and do it? How do you just "buck up"?

I feel like this post reeks of self pity and that's not what I intend it to do, I'm just trying to find a way to push past the depression so I can devote myself to the things I need to.

[This message edited by StartingFreshNow at 10:15 AM, August 5th (Tuesday)]


Me: WW
2 young kids
DDay - Dec 2013 (EA), TT
DDay 2 - Jul 28, 2014 (PA), TT
DDay 3 - end of Aug/beg of Sep 2014
(All the same A)

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: USA
healingjourney
♀ Member
Member # 44277
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((StartingFreshNow)))

I am not bipolar but severe depression runs in my family.

I don't sleep restfully either and I don't like to take drugs, but I do take OTC melatonin and I find that helpful for sleeping. You might want to ask your doctor if you can safely take melatonin. It has few side effects.

I also find that exercise is helpful. On the weekends, I get up early as I can and go work out to try to start the day right. During the week I try to do it after work. It seems to reset my brain chemicals somewhat.

Other than that, I try to listen to music and watch comedians I find funny. That helps too.

I think to myself that now is the time to white knuckle it and persevere.


Me: WW
Him: BH
D-Day: Jul 3, 2014
In MC and IC, hoping for R

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jul 2014
StartingFreshNow
♀ Member
Member # 44224
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much! I have completely forgotten about exercise but you're right, that does help. I feel stupid saying I didn't even think of that, but it's true.

As for sleep aids, I'll have to check with my doctor. I know with all the other meds I'm on she's hesitant to have me take things, but I need the sleep badly so maybe it's time to add something.

Thank you.


Me: WW
2 young kids
DDay - Dec 2013 (EA), TT
DDay 2 - Jul 28, 2014 (PA), TT
DDay 3 - end of Aug/beg of Sep 2014
(All the same A)

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: USA
healingjourney
♀ Member
Member # 44277
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're welcome. Definitely speak with your doctor as soon as you can. It is really important to get enough sleep, especially when you are dealing with a mental illness.


Me: WW
Him: BH
D-Day: Jul 3, 2014
In MC and IC, hoping for R

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jul 2014
Macsecond
♀ Member
Member # 43972
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely consult with your doctor. A temporary adjustment of meds to help fill in the hole a little might be necessary, but as the other poster said, you can also try self-help methods if you want to avoid tweaking the meds for now. Exercise, meditation/mindfulness, self-care like doing something you enjoy or that makes you laugh, can help naturally boost the endorphins.

Sometimes it's just a matter of getting activated. I hate the concept of "just try harder" because I do believe when it comes to depression and bipolar, there's a lot of it that's because of the brain chemicals and meds are very necessary, you can't just will yourself better, but on the other hand, sometimes just getting activated and doing things that are good for you that you're avoiding can be a big boost.

Sorry, not sure if that all makes sense!


Me - WW (38)
Him - BH (36)
Married 14 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD6 and DD2)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
In IC.
Working on R.

Posts: 238 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Canada
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, I never took AD meds. I needed to feel what I have done. there have been times my BS and I have considered them. But as of yet, we are feeling and grieving. with your BiPolar you may need the meds but be honest with your GP/IC whoever is managing your care.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 843 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
silentlucidity
♂ New Member
Member # 39769
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry to hear you are dealing with Bipolar, I know this isn't pleasant by anyway shape or form, My BS suffers from Bipolar II and is having a hard time with my betrayal, her GP said she needs to work on the bipolar and help yourself before dealing with your BS, how you can do that I have no idea, unfortunately your situation is different as it is you who has the Bipolar, you still need to take care of yourself and take your meds what ever happens, you cannot help the BS if you are in a bad place caused by the depression, I know this is hard, but you will get there, my BS takes sleeping aids to sleep, if she doesn't get the sleep the depression comes back tenfold.

Look after yourself and you will be able to help your BS

SL


WH (Me) 41
BS 36 (Olwen)
DS 9 1/2
Married : 14 Yrs
Together : 19 Yrs
A lot of TT's

Our choices are our own, Nobody made us do it.


Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: England
Topic Posts: 7

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