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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

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User Topic: Lately WH has been snooping on my facebook
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I belong to a message board. It is a board someone created and invited some friends from another huge message board to join. It's all in fun and we just talk about what goes on in our lives. I only have private conversations with one girl on there. Never anyone else. My WH is privy to all of this. A long while back I asked the board owner for a new password. I did this over facebook. The owner is a man. He sent me a password and nothing more was said.

WH started questioning me about this guy and another guy on my facebook the other day. The other guy is just someone from the board. I liked something he put on facebook. I have never had a private message or any other interaction from this guy unless we might post in the same thread on the board.

I don't accept friend requests on facebook from just anyone. WH accepts them all, female or not.

AM I doing something wrong? It would be like answering a post here, in my mind.

The kicker is, a couple of days after giving me the third degree about these guys WH complains about me questioning him, which I haven't even been doing. This is all slipping away. All these years of hard work. I am just devastated.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have belonged to this other board for years, long before the A.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think you did anything wrong. It sounds like you have very healthy boundaries. Stricter than your XH. If he is not satisfied with the truth then I don't know what to tell you.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52760 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Movingupward. I have been sitting here questioning myself just like I questioned whether the A was my fault.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes when the WS is doing stuff they shouldn't be doing, they accuse the BS of the very same behavior.

Or if he's definitely not doing it now it's hard for him to understand why you aren't misbehaving if he would be, in your same situation.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1996 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was thinking the same as Btrayed Wife. It sounds a lot like projection.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4161 | Registered: Sep 2005
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the others. He's trying to throw you into his category. You have respectful boundaries set up so his questioning you is a bunch of crap. Don't let him make you feel like your doing something wrong. My ws has done the same thing, snooping in my phone and facebook.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5172 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

gaslight?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
stillcrying4ever
♀ Member
Member # 38310
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So close to home. H started looking at my Facebook too. I don't hide any of it.
A guy from high school that I haven't seen in 30+ years wrote me a PM. I didn't take it off or hide it. I see no reason to. I didn't write it and I didn't write back.

First thing H says is "What's going on between you and _______? He's mad and writes this guy a PM.

A month later I find out he has still been in contact with the OW through an email I didn't know he had.

That same week that he was pissed about this guy writing me he had asked the OW to meet with him. It didn't happen but still.

That is all over now but don't trust your H.

Mine no longer has that private email and he is the one that has changed his phone no.

I think and hope he is finally coming around. We will see.


D Day May 27, 2012



Posts: 186 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((MT)))

I have to agree with others, when there is smoke there is fire. Something is going on, this isn't normal behavior.
The real question is do you snoop and keep your mouth shut, or do you ask him to open up, and get to the bottom of it.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 10

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