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User Topic: Mouth garbage
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do any BS's know what I mean when you trigger really bad and get this flush of anger and pain and sick stomach that you just spew angry, insulting mouth garbage out?

I did a lot in the beginning. I only do it about once a month maybe nowadays, but today I did it again.

I went pain shopping. I do every day and most of the time dont find anything really. Today I found pics of the OW with a friend of hers and they were in the city and looking all happy and having a good day, and I just sat there staring and getting so angry that WHORE has my husband. I had mind movies when I saw her and I just HATE her guts more than I ever thought possible. I wish she would die a million horrible deaths. I hate her so much and it hurts so bad.

I dont know why I do that to myself. I dont know why I go looking for her. I guess to see if karma has finally hit or to see that her life is as miserable as mine...BUT OF COURSE ITS NOT.

So I spewed mouth garbage in the form of a text to my WH. He is at work. HE HATES WHEN I DO THIS. Last time I did it...he told me IT HAD TO STOP!

He gets super angry at me when I spew stuff like that. I dont know if its because it reminds him he is a shit or that Im insulting the ugly white trash ugly old piece of trash he chose to fuck up our life with. But he gets angry.

I have completely ruined any good happy evening with him and blew my shots at having sex or snuggling tonight. I know that. I am dreading to hear how mad he is at me, and in the meantime...I am hurt and sad about seeing the whore...even if I brought it on myself.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 549 | Registered: Jan 2013
fortitudo
♀ New Member
Member # 43925
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Probably every BS has done and felt the same exact thing. It is like an uncontrollable eruption of crying, screaming and saying ugly things-even if they are true. Don't beat yourself up--I have looked at the back page ad of the prostitute my husband solicited hundreds of times. I actually confronted her in a parking lot. But eventually you have to start loving yourself more than hating the OW--my WH is trying hard to R but when I launch into a rage filled tirade I see him recoil. I have probably done it every couple of days for nearly 3 months--he's sticking in there but honestly its taking a toll on us both. Gotta heave ourselves out of the quicksand and focus on loving ourselves. Am praying for us both.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2014
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It may be because he's at work and you are texting him very hate filled words that he is unable to help you through.....at least I hope it is because the whole no sex no cuddling thing is just wrong. As a wayward he did something horrible to you and constant reminders are there for us as well but when it comes to work I have to forcibly push aside those things just to concentrate. I have left work early or called out when xSO needed me but its not something I could do all the time without risk of losing my job. Maybe channeling that anger into a text about needing to talk to him when he was free. To be honest though he sounds like he needs to step up as well.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2734 | Registered: Oct 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unagie..her WH is completely unremorseful and expects her to get over it..yesterday. She has taken AD's and when she triggered recently, he blamed her meds and told her she needed to up the dosage, or a different AD. He got shitty with her when she cried after sex..so now there is no more sex(but he has time for porn on his phone). So his reaction to her triggering isn't because he is at work..it's because he is unremorseful and abusive.

HB2012, I think he gets pissed when you say things like that because it ruins HIS day. It's allll about him and his feelings.

I truly hope you start to take steps to heal yourself. He is unwilling to help..and in fact, is making this so much worse for you.

180...180...180.

[This message edited by confused615 at 1:28 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7402 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
OutoftheDeep
♀ Member
Member # 42601
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

her WH is completely unremorseful and expects her to get over it..yesterday. She has taken AD's and when she triggered recently, he blamed her meds and told her she needed to up the dosage, or a different AD. He got shitty with her when she cried after sex..so now there is no more sex(but he has time for porn on his phone). So his reaction to her triggering isn't because he is at work..it's because he is unremorseful and abusive.

Heartbroken if this is the case then it's about so much more than your spewing anger. I'm sorry you are in this position.

As for the "mouth garbage" specifically... I get what you're saying. My advice is to come on here and spew, because no matter that he is unremorseful and from what it sounds like an all around jerk (no offense), there's nothing to be gained or helped from calling him at work and going off (even though you are totally justified to be angry).

maybe it's immature and maybe pain shopping isn't healthy, but sometimes all we want to do is gripe and vent and kick and scream and choose to have a bad day. When you feel like that, I say come on here, get it out of your system and try to keep it out of "real life" since it doesn't seem to be helping you in real life anyway.


Me - maybe BW 40s
He - maybe WH 40s
My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first M had lta.
Current marriage:
2/'13 out all night with an ow
2/'13 busted at strip club
4/'14-? bad boundaries w/howorker

Posts: 369 | Registered: Feb 2014
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

can I ask why you still go pain shopping even though you know what it does to you?


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5904 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
MammaMia
♀ Member
Member # 34030
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have done the same thing way too many times. I have called the OP all kinds of names. H asked me once why I was doing that. Then he added that if it made me feel better by calling her names, he understood.
He understood?????? He understood????? That was the wrong word baby!!! I told him what I thought about him being so understanding and also that I have not called the OP any names that did not fit her to a tee.Period.
Don't feel bad. It's normal. Eventually you will stop even though once in a while you may hint that the venom is till there. Very normal behavior for a BS


And once the storm is over, you wonít remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonít be the same person who walked in. Thatís what this stormís all about.Ē

Posts: 865 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Somewhere in the South
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's probably a lot of frustration too. If your ws doesn't answer all of your questions then sometimes you try to search for your own, anything that may give a clue as to why in the f**k this person was chosen to ruin what you thought was,a good life. I'm speaking for myself as,well because I've done it.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5037 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Confused615 I had no idea. If that is the case then I stand by my last statement he needs to step up and work his ass off.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2734 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 9

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