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User Topic: A sad moment...
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Helpless  Posted: 6:04 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Decided I needed to start DS's truck today to let it run for a bit. While I was letting it run, I decided to go through the cab to clean out the trash the military was so kind to leave behind (including a bag of fast food trash) after removing so much other stuff. Looked in the back seat and saw a newspaper folded over. Picked it up and momentarily froze. It was the paper from the day after the WA mudslide with the headline, "Hope dims as search turns up no signs of life" with a subheading, "Families grim, shaken as reality closes in on the unimaginable." Wow. Was NOT expecting that. Took my breath away. Given that Army personnel destroyed other items from his truck, and the idiot Lt that did it knew my connection with the slide, I wish he had the decency to destroy that too. I am okay, just gave me a momentary jump and feelings of sadness. What was worse was finding one of his beloved flannel shirts wadded in a ball under the seat. I pulled it out and could actually smell DS in that shirt. Brought a tear to my eye.

And I thought tackling the truck would be an easy one...silly me

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 6:06 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix)))) I'm so sorry.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix)))))

I'm so sorry.


Posts: 35859 | Registered: Mar 2011
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5441 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((Pheonix))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38013 | Registered: Sep 2007
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pulled it out and could actually smell DS in that shirt.

^^^This is wonderful, and quite a gift. Savor that.

{{{phoenix1}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
soveryweary
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix1)))


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2606 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Phoenix1))))

When my Dad passed away unexpectedly, none of my family could clean out his car. A car is so personal. My BIL offered to do it for us, and sold it for us. We were very thankful.

I had his shirts turned into 3 small quilts. I still occasionally smell it. It's been 7.5 years


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seal the shirt up in something plastic.

Seriously.

{{{hugs}}}

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6580 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((phoenix))
Funny I came down here to off topic to see if there was anything from you. How are you doing? Still think of you and your loss often. Hope your getting through day by day. How does the rest of the family seem to be coping?
Hoping for a bright day for you!


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1908 | Registered: Nov 2010
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aw, ((((Phoenix))) I'm so sorry.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8841 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix)))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25725 | Registered: Aug 2011
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How are you doing? Still think of you and your loss often. Hope your getting through day by day. How does the rest of the family seem to be coping?

Day by day is precisely how I am getting thru it. DDs have their up and down days. Wish I could take away their pain and sorrow, but all I can assure them of is that it will lessen with time. Hard to be the perpetual family cheerleader when I feel the same way inside. My father is also really feeling the loss, and I try to be upbeat for him as well. Just so very difficult when the ex and I continue to deal with what seems to be never-ending fallout (and dealing with him brings additional stressors). I just keep trying to tell myself it will eventually get easier....


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Phoenix )))
Please don't forget to take a little bit of time to recharge your batteries.
I fully understand being the family "rock", but long term that isn't healthy unless you can decompress at some point.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6525 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Hugs)) I'm sorry you had to see that newspaper - but so glad you found the shirt.

(((((Hugs)))))


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please don't forget to take a little bit of time to recharge your batteries.

Heading to Vegas tomorrow night for a long weekend, by myself, for that very purpose. Much needed R&R and decompression away from everything for the first time since the nightmare began. DD22 has told me to go to a Chippendale's show... Packing as I write!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1189 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fantastic!
Chippendales, eh? I caught their show once...oh myyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6525 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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